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Internet Dating Scams Target Older American Women
HughPickens.com writes: The NYT reports: "Janet N. Cook, a church secretary in Virginia, had been a widow for a decade when she joined an Internet dating site and was quickly overcome by a rush of emails, phone calls and plans for a face-to-face visit. "I'm not stupid, but I was totally naïve," says Cook, now 76, who was swept off her feet by a man who called himself Kelvin Wells and described himself as a middle-aged German businessman looking for someone "confident" and "outspoken" to travel with him to places like Italy, his "dream destination." But very soon he began describing various troubles, including being hospitalized in Ghana, where he had gone on business, and asked Cook to bail him out. In all, she sent him nearly $300,000, as he apparently followed a well-honed script that online criminals use to bilk members of dating sites out of tens of millions of dollars a year."
According to the Times internet scammers are targeting women in their 50s and 60s, often retired and living alone, who say that the email and phone wooing forms a bond that may not be physical but that is intense and enveloping. Between July 1 and Dec. 31, 2014, nearly 6,000 people registered complaints of such confidence fraud with losses of $82.3 million, according to the federal Internet Crime Complaint Center. Older people are ideal targets because they often have accumulated savings over a lifetime, own their homes and are susceptible to being deceived by someone intent on fraud. The digital version of the romance con is now sufficiently widespread that AARP's Fraud Watch Network has urged online dating sites to institute more safeguards to protect against such fraud. The AARP network recommends that dating site members use Google's "search by image" to see if the suitor's picture appears on other sites with different names. If an email from "a potential suitor seems suspicious, cut and paste it into Google and see if the words pop up on any romance scam sites," the network advised. The website romancescams.org lists red flags to look for to identify such predators, who urgently appeal to victims for money to cover financial setbacks like unexpected fines, money lost to robbery or unpaid wages. Most victims say they are embarrassed to admit what happened, and they fear that revealing it will bring derision from their family and friends, who will question their judgment and even their ability to handle their own financial affairs."It makes me sound so stupid, but he would be calling me in the evening and at night. It felt so real. We had plans to go to the Bahamas and to Bermuda together," says Louise Brown. "When I found out it was a scam, I felt so betrayed. I kept it secret from my family for two years, but it's an awful thing to carry around. But later I sent him a message and said I forgave him."
According to the Times internet scammers are targeting women in their 50s and 60s, often retired and living alone, who say that the email and phone wooing forms a bond that may not be physical but that is intense and enveloping. Between July 1 and Dec. 31, 2014, nearly 6,000 people registered complaints of such confidence fraud with losses of $82.3 million, according to the federal Internet Crime Complaint Center. Older people are ideal targets because they often have accumulated savings over a lifetime, own their homes and are susceptible to being deceived by someone intent on fraud. The digital version of the romance con is now sufficiently widespread that AARP's Fraud Watch Network has urged online dating sites to institute more safeguards to protect against such fraud. The AARP network recommends that dating site members use Google's "search by image" to see if the suitor's picture appears on other sites with different names. If an email from "a potential suitor seems suspicious, cut and paste it into Google and see if the words pop up on any romance scam sites," the network advised. The website romancescams.org lists red flags to look for to identify such predators, who urgently appeal to victims for money to cover financial setbacks like unexpected fines, money lost to robbery or unpaid wages. Most victims say they are embarrassed to admit what happened, and they fear that revealing it will bring derision from their family and friends, who will question their judgment and even their ability to handle their own financial affairs."It makes me sound so stupid, but he would be calling me in the evening and at night. It felt so real. We had plans to go to the Bahamas and to Bermuda together," says Louise Brown. "When I found out it was a scam, I felt so betrayed. I kept it secret from my family for two years, but it's an awful thing to carry around. But later I sent him a message and said I forgave him."
Much as hate to appear victim-blaming, even an utter polyanna-style naïvette would've ended at $3,000. Beyond that, it is stupidity.
"He" (and am not at all sure, there is an identifiable "he" to this scam — more likely a work of an enterprise) is a crook and should be hung alive by his rib on a rusty hook. But, boy, the lady is stupid...
In Soviet Washington the swamp drains you.
"Not stupid?" To the contrary, extremely stupid. When you want to believe something so badly that you throw all caution to the wind, giving strangers all your money, you are dumb. Not naive. Dumb and desperate. The worst part is that when friends and family point out how its obviously a catfish, the victim turns on them and not the scammer
"Transparent" is a shit show that trades on every stereotype going. A man in drag is NOT a transsexual.
That's a long con that has been in existence since the very first newspaper introduced a dating column.
Flimflam people have computers too.
I hope to christ i have 300 grand to fritter away when i'm in my 70s
Old people in general are more susceptible to scams. I remember a story awhile back that a university professor fell for a dating scam where someone pretended to be a model. He was an accomplished physicist. http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03...
I'm not sure what to do with that information, but this lady wasn't an isolated incident. The entire population of old people as a whole are more susceptible.
I just turned 40 and am a happily married guy, so I haven't been "on the market" lately. But, I do know a lot of people, men and women, who are increasingly desperate and affected with the "urge to merge." $300K is excessive, and I think most reasonable people would have seen the light sooner. But I can definitely see this demographic being a good target for con artists. This guy even pushed the Italy button -- what lovesick middle aged woman doesn't dream of some crazy Tuscan romance fantasy?
That said, things are different now and it is harder for older people to find suitable partners -- they're fishing in a dwindling pool full of:
- Unpleasant, bitter divorcees who have had their personalities permanently ruined
- The unmarryable -- men and women -- who haven't been able to attract anyone due to serious flaws of one kind or another
- The permanently single -- aka the creepy 55 year old guy still hitting on women in the bar with no intention of settling down or even being honest
Every woman around my age mentions this as their problem. Some might say they're being too picky, but I definitely see their point. If your choices are limited, and someone suddenly comes along who isn't a player, doesn't live in Mom's basement, and isn't an RMS clone, I could see being very vulnerable.
As if anyone is shocked by the disparity.
If you are a woman taken in by a con man, PUA, etc., he manipulated and used you. He is a sociopath. A misogynist.
If you are a man taken in by a pretty face, well you should have known better. You were thinking with your johnson. And not all women are like that.
Internet dating is for people who don't have the social skills to meet people and engage in more than a nod or good morning in passing. The same people who don't know their next door neighbors and then complain they have nobody to talk to. Getting out and actually doing something, which would help address the problem, is too outside their comfort zone due to lack of practice. I predict a rise in similar scams targeted at the aging male programmer population who think they'll never fall for it.
Your view is painfully naive, shallow, and uninformed. For many people, "getting out and actually doing something" is a pretty crappy way of meeting people to date. If your ideal date is... well... someone just like you, it's fantastic. Otherwise, not so much.
I'm very social as well as involved in my community, but the aspects of community involvement I like as well as most of my hobbies tend to be things other guys like, not other women. Because of my job, I live in primarily family oriented areas where most people are married. I go out a couple times a week and it's always with married couples or just the guys. Single women in my age range are needles in the proverbial haystack.
Internet dating has been a godsend in meeting people in neighboring areas with different interests and different social circles. Internet dating is a tool. It's a shame you feel the need to denigrate others just because you don't know how to use it.