Sending Angry Emails Just Makes You Angrier

An anonymous reader writes: Sending a blistering email can be cathartic. People consistently report feeling better after venting, and doing so over email is no exception. But researchers find those who vent their anger tend to only become angrier and more aggressive, and doing so in an impersonal way like email only makes it worse. "E-venting is particularly risky, experts say. We think it's private because we can do it in a secluded place, like our bed while we're in our pajamas. We have our phones with us all the time so we often e-vent before we've had a chance to calm down. A rant put out via the Internet is a click away from being shared." Combine this with how we typically sound angrier in print, and can't see feedback from our targets, it can lead to more volatile situations than we intended.

Comments

E-Vent

[Anonymous Coward]

An old trick is to write the email and not send it, or send it to yourself. That way you get some catharsis, and can send a more civil email later (or no email at all, handle it politely in person).

Re:E-Vent

[Wain13001]

This has legitimately worked for me on several occasions.

Re:E-Vent

[jafiwam]

An old trick is to write the email and not send it, or send it to yourself. That way you get some catharsis, and can send a more civil email later (or no email at all, handle it politely in person).

Yup. This is a good strategy.

One minor point, REMOVE the email addresses from the "to" and "Cc" lines and then save it as a draft. That prevents accidental sending later (even months later.)

Most of the time, it's hard to get email messages right in tone, meaning and intent without a rant in it. Likewise, don't be stupid, that stuff hangs around forever and will be used against you more effectively than the rant could ever be...

Recovery

[StikyPad]

Recovering angry e-mailer here. I used to do this all the time, particularly when I got upset at a loved one. It's easier for me to organize and lay out my thoughts coherently in writing than verbally. Unfortunately, I've often done more damage than good by hitting send, but I have a patient and loving GF who has, over time, convinced me NOT to hit Send, and just read them to her in person. That's given me the instant feedback they talk about in the article, and I can tell when I've gone too far, or when something I've said has been misinterpreted. And of course, I can omit things that I would never say to her face, because I recognize that they're just person attacks that are hurtful and harmful.

I hate admitting when I'm wrong, but I forwarded this article to her so she could feel vindicated by science. She deserves it.

Anyway, enough sincerity.. how 'bout them local sports teams?