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Most People Use Their Phones During Social Events, Despite Thinking It Harms Conversation
Mark Wilson points out that the Pew Research Center has released a new report on mobile etiquette in the age of smartphones. 90% of U.S. adults now have cellphones and carry them around frequently. Pew's survey looked into how this is changing social norms with regard to shifting attention away from physical-world interactions. Most people think it's fine to use a cellphone while walking the streets or waiting in line, but 62% think it's not OK at a restaurant, an 88% disapprove of using one at a family dinner. Disapproval of using a cellphone in a meeting, movie theater, or church is almost universal. 89% of people say they used their cellphone during their most recent social activity, whether it was texting, checking the web, or snapping a picture. Despite this, 82% say cellphone use generally hurts the conversation. 79% of adults say they occasionally encounter loud or annoying cellphone behavior from others in public, and more than half say they often overhear intimate details of other people's lives because of it.
When they ignore the jackass on the phone who was there before me and come over to take my order.
Years ago I had a manager who could not put down his Blackberry.
He'd call a meeting for us to walk him through some stuff. Every few seconds he looked at his phone. Now and then an email would come in, and he'd be like "what, sorry, I missed that part".
One day I walked out of the room while he was reading his email.
He came running after telling me the meeting wasn't over.
I told him the meeting had never really started, and since it was him who called it for his benefit, he could either put down his phone and listen, or I'd send him an email. But that I wasn't going to sit there repeating myself because he couldn't put his damned phone down.
There is nothing more annoying than some idiot who is in the middle of a social interaction, whips out their phone, loses the plot, and then expects you to give them a recap. Sorry, but I'm standing right here ... I don't give a crap about your electronic device.
If you want to be a selfish bastard, do it on your own time. But don't waste my fucking time because you have the attention span of a child.
That people know it's rude and do it anyway ... that's the part that really annoys the crap out of me. Go away, and I'll send you an email if you prefer. But stop constantly checking the damned thing, because I'm just going to walk away.
Lost at C:>. Found at C.
Or we don't approve but don't care enough to stop it. Or, and I think this is the case, are raging hypocrits about our cell phone rage versus our cell phone use.
As long as people are quiet an don't flash too many bright lights, I really couldn't care less what another table does during dinner. What is appropriate at my own table depends very heavily on what is going on. I can't imagine I'd drop a great conversation to check my work email. But I've never been that thoroughly entertained, and some people will go on about things I don't want to talk about (namely other people) and fuck yes, I will send all sorts of messages that I want to move on.
That's what most people seem to view the thing as -- which is wrong. It should not be a lifestyle, it is a phone. It should not take the place of actual, in-person, face-to-face social interactions, not any more than so-called 'social media' should. That's the problem: Smartphones, 'social media', the Internet in general, all claim to 'connect people' and 'bring people together', when in fact all they're doing is giving people and excuse to distance themselves from actual social interactions with other human beings. We see the effects of this more and more all the time. Words on a screen can't take the place of live interaction with another human being. We communicate on more levels than just the words we say, and text on a screen is about as sterile as you can get. There is inflection, tone of voice, body language.. you don't get any of this with just text on a screen. What's worse, most people don't even seem to read everything someone writes, so what little true meaning they could get from just text is also lost because of that. Even using your phone as a phone, you're still missing out on layers of non-verbal communication that you'd otherwise be getting the benefit of. This lack of real communication between people is leading to more and more misunderstandings.
Are YOU using the TOOL, or is the TOOL using YOU? Think about it!
These situations are not so black and white.
Good - Looking up contentious fact being discussed.
Bad - Shopping online while conversation is going on.
Good - Taking one picture to memorialize a special dinner.
Bad - Taking a picture of every plate of food one eats.
Good - Texting late guest to see where they are?
Bad - Texting someone completely unrelated to the event.
Bad - Talking loudly on one's phone while other people are having a conversation.
The problem is not that the smartphone is being but why the smartphone is being used. If the use contributes to the event I don't see an issue.
I immediately stop talking and if the person notices, they will usually apologize. If they don't notice after a few seconds then i turn and walk away.
Call me crazy but I don't have a cel phone. At home I have a computer and and work I have a computer so I don't really need one in between, or when I am out and about enjoying myself. I guess I am an extreme minority now, but I will never be one of these zombies you see everywhere. I like to be aware of what is going on around me. I believe that not connected time, simply staring at the scenery on the train for instance, helps one to think and process things. No one thinks anymore, they just look down at their phones and distract themselves.
I can appreciate that cel phones are a useful tool, but the way people treat them is so bad I can't stomach the thought of owning one.
Not to mention all the persistent tracking and other horrible privacy concerns. Not to mention the upfront multi hundred dollar cost and the $50+ monthly cost... I guarantee that the only phones I ever own and use will be feature phones that make and receive calls only. I don't need a little TV turning my mind to mush and tracking me all the while.
As a potential lottery winner, I totally support tax cuts for the wealthy