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Man Receives a Prosthetic Hand That Allows Him To Feel
New submitter CravenRaven76 writes: A 28 year old man who has been paralyzed for almost a decade has recently received a prosthetic hand that allows for him to feel for the first time. While prosthetics have previously been able to be controlled directly from the brain, it is the first time that signals have been successfully sent the other way. “We’ve completed the circuit,” said DARPA program manager Justin Sanchez in a statement. “Prosthetic limbs that can be controlled by thoughts are showing great promise, but without feedback from signals traveling back to the brain it can be difficult to achieve the level of control needed to perform precise movements. By wiring a sense of touch from a mechanical hand directly into the brain, this work shows the potential for seamless bio-technological restoration of near-natural function.”
Some really bad applications come to mind here...
People are furiously trying to figure out how to turn this into a joke about machines having feelings.
Maybe he can use that hand to point out to the Slashdot editors that this is a dupe.
You can pretend someone else is giving you a handyJ. Being able to feel it takes half the fun out.
The Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz received a heart that allowed him to feel fucken YEARS ago. This isn't new technology folks.
feelliinggs.
Who has a huge robotics chubby?
Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.
Ernest Hemingway
If not, who cares?!
Lumpy.
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
Data: [laughs] I get it! I get it! When you said "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!"
Geordi: Data, what are you talking about?
Data: During the Farpoint mission; we were on the bridge, you told a joke, that was the punchline!
Geordi: The Farpoint mission? Data, that was seven years ago.
Data: I know! I just got it! Very funny!
It's important that he stays off the Internet for his own safety. He's going to do himself an injury.
milestones, teeling Market. Therefore,
"You're holding it wrong."
You are welcome on my lawn.
The Force, Luke
Man receives prostitute hand
Somebody will hack the hand. Then somebody will hack off the hand. Good premise for the next evil dead flick.
Now he can masturbate properly.
Ha ha
It's going to be syndicate world soon!
Seamless
The word tends to resurface in those critical review meetings. You know which ones: the disaster recovery meeting, the war room meetings, congressional hearings, investigative meetings--in short, those blamestorming meetings, and you know you've reached a certain milestone in your career when you are always kept in the loop. In fact, you know you're approaching that red zone when you happen to be wearing the beeper that causes those ripples that are felt by Everyone That Matters at 2 in the morning. And the One In the Hot Seat will make a statement that would sound something like this:
Well we made that choice because it seamless trouble at the time.
WARNING: Smartphones have side effects--most of them undocumented.
How about touch in virtual reality ?
OK, I'll say it, because someone will anyway: how about touch, virtual reality and porn ? ;-)
New things are always on the horizon
"Jambi, your new hands are here!"
"Thanks, Pee-wee! There's something I've been wanting to try for a long time."
Yo Dawg, something something feels in your feels. I know that feel bro.
Goes to comments... sees references to masturbation and PeeWee's Playhouse -- but inexplicably, not one single reference to Luke Skywalker's hand.
Alright people: turn over your geek cards, this instant!
All these lame jokes and no one gets the right one!
Be careful how hard you squeeze, they are not zits you know.