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Cassandra Rewritten In C++, Ten Times Faster
urdak writes: At Cassandra Summit opening today, Avi Kivity and Dor Laor (who had previously written KVM and OSv) announced ScyllaDB — an open-source C++ rewrite of Cassandra, the popular NoSQL database. ScyllaDB claims to achieve a whopping 10 times more throughput per node than the original Java code, with sub-millisecond 99%ile latency. They even measured 1 million transactions per second on a single node. The performance of the new code is attributed to writing it in Seastar — a C++ framework for writing complex asynchronous applications with optimal performance on modern hardware.
So a little while ago I felt like I had a great big healthy shit coming on. I mean it makes sense. I have been ... *unghhnhhghhghh* *PLOP*
adding more fiber to my diet lately. So I sat on my white porcelain throne and then
Ah. Wow that was a big one. Damn it this is a big, wide, long log. It'll probably fold in half and get stuck
and clog the fucking toilet. Again. Ah well. I will deal with that if and when it happens.
It was such a wide turd-log with such girth though. Amazing that my otherwise virgin asshole can expand that ... oh no. I feel something knotty.
wide. Hmm that could be a problem. So I start to wipe. Damn it this could take a while. I got feces smeared on
the sides of my ass cheeks from the girth of that turd. I wipe some more and
Yup, what I feared from this turd has come to pass. I have lots of hairs around my asshole. I suppose most men
do. Nature's way of saying "I love you! But not that much."
There it is. I can feel it through the single ply paper. A great big DINGLEBERRY. Naturally I try to awkwardly
grab it with a folded sheet of toilet paper and dislodge it. I pull. Ouch. I pull harder. OUCH. Wow during
its brief passage past the asshair, this turd-let really securely managed to get caught on some ass hairs. I
can't just pull the dingleberry out without ripping the hairs right out. I have no idea if that caries the
possibility of breaking the fecal encrusted skin and leading to an infection or what, but I know it would hurt so
I want other options. I try gathering lots of sheets of toilet paper. I repeatedly wipe the same area over and
over, hoping to wear this fucker down. I manage to whittle it down a little but this is taking far too much time.
This turd is really determined to stay in its new home!
I can't very well pull my underpants back up now, that would get them all shitty and smelly. If I wanted to smell
bad all the time I would let myself get fat. Maybe some water will help. I awkwardly reach for the faucet,
turning it to a slow stream, and wet some toilet paper, making a mental note to disinfect the faucet handle later.
I can't see the damned thing but judging from the brown stains appearing on the sheets of toilet paper, I am at
least making progress. Now my hands are wet and shitty smelling and I am thinking this better be worth it. I use
a dry sheet to feel for the dingleberry again. It did shrink but it's still there, dangling from my ass hairs,
mocking me. WTF have I been eating lately to produce such a persistent turd? Nature does abhor a vacuum, which
is why lots of gas has entered my bowels where the big turd-log recently was. I enjoy a nice after-defecating
loud fart while I wonder what to do next. I chuckle because when the fart is your own, you don't think it stinks
but you know somebody else would evacuate the area. Ok time to stop laughing, this is a serious predicament.
I toy with the idea of getting some scissors or something to try and cut the dingleberry out. Then I consider
this is a sensitive area, I cannot see what I am doing, and it's too close for comfort to my cock and balls to be
wielding a bladed item. I am starting to get angry. I am starting to not care anymore about the consequences of
just yanking the damned thing out. I tried the easier ways and they failed. Fuck it, I have places to be and
things to do. I can't very well spend all day in the bathroom playing a not-so-fun game with a turd. I double up
on toilet paper and get a good secure grip on the dingleberry. Okay fucker, you're going DOWN. *YANK* Yeouch,
fuck that hurt as much as I thought it would. And there it is, in my hand, nestled in the folds of toilet paper:
my dingleberry! Ha ha ha, you won the battle, dingleberry, but I just won the war! I rub my sore ass cheek.
Then I ceremoniously plop that fucker in the toilet bowl, to briefly swim with his big brother log. Oh man, you
never he