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Vostochny Launch Building Built To the Wrong Size
schwit1 writes: The Russians have just discovered that their Soyuz 2 rocket does not fit in the building just finished at their new spaceport at Vostochny: "The cutting-edge facility was meant be ready for launches of Soyuz-2 rockets in December, but an unidentified space agency told the TASS news agency late Thursday that the rocket would not fit inside the assembly building where its parts are stacked and tested before launch. The building 'has been designed for a different modification of the Soyuz rocket,' the source said, according to news website Medusa, which picked up the story from TASS." The rocket had just been delivered to Vostochny for assembly, so this report, though unconfirmed at this time, fits well with current events.
"Putin gave me a drawing that said 18 inches. Now, whether or not he knows the difference between feet and inches is not my problem. I do what I'm told."
One group was using Putin's left arm length for Russia's official designation of the meter, while another group was using his right arm. Apparently he isn't perfectly symmetrical.
Better known as 318230.
It was designed for a different rocket . And they are trying to use a different version of the rocket. From the looks of it , they are trying to improvise . I mean seriously , they built the first operational space station !
Great, now I'm picturing a Russian version of the "Monorail song", with the Lyle Lanley guy having a heavy Russian accent.
The Soyuz will not fit in there
"The building's tall, like Russian bear!"
What if perchance the roof should bend?
"Not on your life, my Yakut friend!"
What about us cleptocrats?
"Your wallets will grow very fat!"
My vodka's gone and now I'm sad.
"Have another, dear comrade!"
Were you sent here by the Kremlin?
(displeased voice) ".... Next question please." (waves for undercover agents to take him out of the room)
"You see it's Vostochny only choice. Now throw up hands and raise the voice."
Cosmodrome! Cosmodrome! Cosmodrome!
The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems.
My grandpa worked for Lockheed's space and missile division way back in the day. He said the attitude sensors for one of the rockets could be installed (or connected; I forget which) backwards and the rocket would think it was pointed in the opposite direction of its actual orientation and try to turn around. The bureaucracy involved in redesigning that single part was so cumbersome they just added a new pre-flight check. Send someone up the gantry to push the rocket and verify that the readings matched the push.
Fast-forward a few decades and one of my roommates worked for Lockheed. This was when they had a series of failed launches and were trying to figure out what the heck was going on. My roommate was on the team investigating one of the botched launches and they came to the conclusion that the rocket decided it was pointed 180 degrees from its actual orientation and it tried to turn around.
CSB, I have some telemetry strips from the Discoverer launches way back in the day. Found them when cleaning out my grandpa's garage a few years ago. Almost threw them out because they'd clearly been defiled by mice but I unrolled one a little bit and realized what they were.