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UK's National Crime Agency Publishes Crazy Cyber-Crime Warning Signs (oomlout.co.uk)

Posted by Soulskill on from the god-help-them-if-they-open-a-command-line-interface dept.

Blacklaw writes: The UK's National Crime Agency, formerly known as the Serious and Organized Crime Agency, has published a list of warning signs that supposedly indicate a child may be heading toward a life of cyber-crime. The list includes late nights and showing any kind of interest at all in programming, even as the UK government pushes coding into the national education curriculum.

6 of 151 comments (clear)

  1. stupid adults by Thud457 · · Score: 5, Insightful
    • Is your child spending all of their time online?
      PORN.
    • Are they interested in coding? Do they have independent learning material on computing?
      NERD.
    • Do they have irregular sleeping patterns?
      soooo much PORN.
    • Do they get an income from their online activities, do you know why and how?
      PORN.
    • Are they resistant when asked what they do online?
      PORN.
    • Do they use the full data allowance on the home broadband?
      PORN.
    • Have they become more socially isolated?
      PORN.

    NEXT!

    --

    the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff

    1. Re:stupid adults by gstoddart · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Do they get an income from their online activities, do you know why and how?
      PORN.

      If your kid is making income online from porn, then you have other issues you should be worried about.

      Other than that, these warning signs probably describe the teenage years of a large chunk of people on Slashdot.

      They basically say "if your teenager uses a computer, is moody, and keeps odd hours you should totally report him as a criminal just in case". The entire thing sounds like it was written by some clueless idiot who doesn't know anything about the life of a teenage nerd.

      It's really long on hysteria, and really short on substance.

      --
      Lost at C:>. Found at C.
  2. I love that Independant learning is a problem by EmperorOfCanada · · Score: 4, Insightful

    "Do they have independent learning material on computing?" I think that in a strange way this fits with the UK initiative to get programming into schools. By making online learning "suspicious" it means that kids will only learn the "proper" way of thinking.

    In a way I think that the worst nightmare for traditionalists is if kids start to learn more an more from uncontrolled resources. To a card carrying members of The System they can't think of anything worse than a way for people who won't play by the "rules" to be able to succeed. There are many people who go through life building up a perfect checklist of a resume which includes going to the proper schools. Online learning threatens this to the core.

  3. Ban soccer moms and helicopter parents by Opportunist · · Score: 3, Insightful

    That should take care of the problem. I'd have opted for "educating" them, but it seems that's hopeless.

    --
    We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
  4. I might be a cyber criminal! by Jason+Levine · · Score: 4, Insightful

    So I looked over the list, replacing "your child" with myself, and:

    Warning signs of cyber crime
    Are you spending all of their time online?

    Pretty much. I make websites at work, go home, and freelance as a web developer at home.

    Are you interested in coding? Do you have independent learning material on computing?

    Given that I'm a web developer, I'm very interested in coding. I have independent learning material on computing and know sites where I can find more material.

    Do you have irregular sleeping patterns?

    Sometimes I go to sleep as late as 1am and then wake up at 6:30am to start my day again.

    Do you get an income from their online activities, do you know why and how?

    Given that I work as a web developer (both day job and freelance), I make pretty much all my income from online activities.

    Are you resistant when asked what they do online?

    Ok, I tend not to be resistant when asked what I do online. So this would be a no.

    Do you use the full data allowance on the home broadband?

    We don't have a data allowance on our home broadband. I do use most of our mobile account's data allowance, though. So maybe score this as half right.

    Have you become more socially isolated?

    I have no in-person friends that I see regularly. I just see my immediate family (kids and wife) and a few co-workers.

    So I'd score about 5.5 out of 7 on their scale. It sounds like I'm well on my way towards becoming a cyber criminal!

    --
    My sci-fi novel, Ghost Thief, is now available from Amazon.com.
  5. Re:OMG no!!! by Areyoukiddingme · · Score: 5, Insightful

    If only there was a way to mix football NASCAR and guns, then we'd be 100% sure.

    Mad Max?