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Microsoft Teams With Automakers To Put Windows, Office In Cars (microsoft.com)
An anonymous reader writes: Today Microsoft announced partnerships with several companies to bring Windows 10, Office 365, and Azure to cars. Volvo is having their Call Universal App integrate with Windows 10 smartphones and Microsoft Band 2 watches to let drivers interact with their cars. Harman, a company that builds infotainment systems, will allow drivers to access Office 365 services (while parked or while the car is driving itself). IAV, a similar company, will let users stream Windows 10 Continuum from their smartphone directly to a vehicle's dashboard. Finally, Nissan's LEAF and Infiniti models in Europe will run their telematics system on Azure. "The common thread between these announcements is that Microsoft is pitching Azure as an enabling platform, tossing in analytics and focusing on its core productivity strengths. Aside from the Microsoft Band 2 partnership with Volvo, Microsoft is taking an enterprise behind-the-scenes approach to the auto industry."
It looks like you're trying to cause a 30-car pileup on the interstate. Would you like me to help?
I still get a chuckle about the time when Windows crashed and took down a battleship. If cars crashed like peoples' desktops, it'd look like a crash-up derby on the city streets...
The joke used to be, "The day Microsoft starts making a product that doesn't suck is the day they start making vacuum cleaners."
To be fair, Macintosh used to be an acronym for Most Applications Crash If Not The Operating System Hangs.
No sig for you! Come back one year!
If Microsoft were GM
Microsoft should make cars, GM should make software:
At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating the following: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics:
For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.
Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on.
Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart; in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy more seats.
Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single 'general car fault' warning light.
New seats would force everyone to have the same back-end size.
The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going off.
Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more.
Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine.
"What was the cause of the accident?"
"Um, I was looking for the 'What-If Analysis' feature in the Excel ribbon, officer."
"Data tab, sir."
"Oh! Thank you!"
"You're welcome, sir. Step out of the car, please."
Oliver's law of assumed responsibility: If you're seen fixing it, you will be blamed for breaking it.
It's gonna get interesting when talking about installing drivers.
Just put it in a Toyota, then you wouldn't expect it to stop.
Table-ized A.I.
And you'll have to but a whole new car after 2 years because the OS that is there won't be supported any longer.
Then they will come out with Winford 2020 where the steering wheel becomes the brakes and the headlight switch controls the steering.
And all the settings will be changed so you have to search a half hour to figure out how to open the gas cap.
Just like OnStar got me to avoid GM vehicles, any car with Windows in it will narrow my choices a little further.
The shepherds did so well protecting the flock that the sheep no longer believed that wolves existed.
Yep, and this will become the bitter reality :
1. For no reason at all, your car will crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you will have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally, executing a manoeuver such as a left-turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, and you will have to reinstall the engine.
4. When your car will die on the freeway for no reason, you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT', and then added more seats.
6. Apple will make a car powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but will run on only five per cent of the roads.
7. Oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights will be replaced by a single blue 'general car default' warning light.
8. New seats will force every-one to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag will say 'Are you sure?' before going off.
10. Occasionally, for no reason, your car will lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lift the door handle, turn the key, and grab the radio antenna.
11. GM will require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of road maps from Rand-McNally (a subsidiary of GM), even though they neither need them nor want them. Trying to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers will have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13. You will press the 'start' button to shut off the engine.
aaaaaaa