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Microsoft Teams With Automakers To Put Windows, Office In Cars (microsoft.com)
An anonymous reader writes: Today Microsoft announced partnerships with several companies to bring Windows 10, Office 365, and Azure to cars. Volvo is having their Call Universal App integrate with Windows 10 smartphones and Microsoft Band 2 watches to let drivers interact with their cars. Harman, a company that builds infotainment systems, will allow drivers to access Office 365 services (while parked or while the car is driving itself). IAV, a similar company, will let users stream Windows 10 Continuum from their smartphone directly to a vehicle's dashboard. Finally, Nissan's LEAF and Infiniti models in Europe will run their telematics system on Azure. "The common thread between these announcements is that Microsoft is pitching Azure as an enabling platform, tossing in analytics and focusing on its core productivity strengths. Aside from the Microsoft Band 2 partnership with Volvo, Microsoft is taking an enterprise behind-the-scenes approach to the auto industry."
First off, the entire idea of having a screen like that in any seat the driver can see is fucking idiotic and will cause crashes. But even ignoring that- I don't need my car to have a bunch of software that's always out of date and doesn't do what I want. If you're going to implement this, just let my phone screencast to it and take touch input from it.
I still have more fans than freaks. WTF is wrong with you people?
It looks like you're trying to cause a 30-car pileup on the interstate. Would you like me to help?
I keep my cars a lot longer than my computers.
My car was built in 2003, the year the Pentium 4 (single core, 4GB max addressable memory) was released and WinXP was mainstream, but only 2 years old, maybe my car would have had Win98 or WinME.
What are the chances that these "smart cars" will be getting software updates and have upgradable hardware. (and even if they do have hardware upgrades, will it be affordable? I replaced my old factory stereo with a new USB+MP3+Bluetooth+speakerphone player for $150 - the OEM AM/FM/CD-only replacement costs $500)
Manufacturers of "smart cars" should be required to publish full programming and interface specs so third party manufacturers can release alternative hardware.
I still get a chuckle about the time when Windows crashed and took down a battleship. If cars crashed like peoples' desktops, it'd look like a crash-up derby on the city streets...
The joke used to be, "The day Microsoft starts making a product that doesn't suck is the day they start making vacuum cleaners."
To be fair, Macintosh used to be an acronym for Most Applications Crash If Not The Operating System Hangs.
No sig for you! Come back one year!
If Microsoft were GM
Microsoft should make cars, GM should make software:
At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating the following: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics:
For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.
Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on.
Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart; in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy more seats.
Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single 'general car fault' warning light.
New seats would force everyone to have the same back-end size.
The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going off.
Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more.
Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine.
"What was the cause of the accident?"
"Um, I was looking for the 'What-If Analysis' feature in the Excel ribbon, officer."
"Data tab, sir."
"Oh! Thank you!"
"You're welcome, sir. Step out of the car, please."
Oliver's law of assumed responsibility: If you're seen fixing it, you will be blamed for breaking it.
It's gonna get interesting when talking about installing drivers.
My wife has a Volt, and it's actually a pretty good car - great features, etc. Only major complaint is the microsoft part of it - stupid dash crashes frequently, does odd things, can't be made to not automatically play music from your phone when all you're bloody trying to do is plug it in to charge, etc. Seriously, can be listening to the radio already, plug in your phone, BOOM - randomly picks something from your phone and autoplays it. Because autoplay of removable media has worked out so well for Microsoft operating systems for so many years, I guess...
This has got to be the most rediculous thing I've heard recently. As if people aren't stupid enough about playing with their phones while driving and getting distracted by that, now they want to put a full Windows OS in your car, too? Oh and by the way, the full-on dystopian 1984 future will then be here: you'll be spied on in your home, on your phone, at work, and in your car, all by Windows 10.
FUCK THAT SHIT!
Listen carefully, people: It's a car, not a lifestyle! It's transportation. You do not need Windows 10 in your gods-be-damned car; you need to forget all that, and put away your gods-be-damned phone, too, and PAY ATTENTION TO THE ROAD!
Are YOU using the TOOL, or is the TOOL using YOU? Think about it!