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New Jersey Rejects Request For Dolphin Necropsy Results, Cites "Medical Privacy" (muckrock.com)

v3rgEz writes: When a dolphin died in New Jersey's South River last year, Carly Sitrin wanted to know what killed it. So she filed a public record request to the NJ Department of Agriculture in order to get the necropsy results. The DOA finally responded last week with the weird decision to deny the release of the record on grounds of medical privacy. The response reads in part: "We are in receipt of your request for information (#W101407) under the auspices of the State’s Open Public Records Act (O.P.R.A.). Specifically, you requested any and all reports associated with the necropsy of the dolphin that strayed into the South River on August 5, 2015 in Middlesex County, New Jersey. This request is denied as it would release information deemed confidential under O.P.R.A., specifically information related to a medical diagnosis or evaluation. (E.O. 26, McGreevey)"

9 of 228 comments (clear)

  1. How about cows? by nospam007 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Let's hope when Governor Christie eats his next cow, nobody will tell him that it has mad cow's disease, since that would violate the privacy of the dead cow.

    1. Re:How about cows? by cheater512 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Hey at least the dolphin wasn't depressed when it died and could have lots of unprotected sex.

  2. This whole thing by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    just sounds fishy to me.

  3. Response menu: by sbaker · · Score: 4, Funny

    How would you like to respond to this request for information:

    [1] Provide information
    [2] Deny information

    Congratulations! You've decided to "Deny information".

    What kind of form letter would you like to respond with:

    [1] Military secret
    [2] Medical privacy
    [3] Area 51-related incident
    [4] The dog ate our report
    [5] Major government coverup of unspecified nature

    Do you wish to include additional information?

    [1] No
    [2] Yes

    Please enter additional information:

    222222222222222222222222222222222222222222

    Ready to send?

    [1] No
    [2] Yes

    --
    www.sjbaker.org
  4. I'm not saying it's mermaids... by bigdady92 · · Score: 4, Funny

    but it's mermaids...

    --
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  5. speaking from the DOA, maybe i can clarify. by nimbius · · Score: 4, Funny

    As a DOA manager, and having overseen part of the autopsy, I can tell you with all certainty that medical privacy is of tyhe utmost importance. Lets face it: you know it, I know it, the world knows it. The south river is about as healthy as a bullet to the head, but many people dont yet know how awful its become outside of the realm of its recent acclaim from the guinness book of records for "most likely to spread an epidemic plague of black death and ebola." For example, did you know that the south river is now viscous enough to float a bowling ball? or did you know that on a cold winters day you can huddle near its many eddies and currents for warmth from its innumerable short and long bursts of radiation as a byproduct of its constant brush with nuclear criticality? Many of my employees tell stories of how after misplacing their cigarette lighter they simply dip the end of a marlborough into the river instead. And lets not get started on "the voices" that compelled nearly two dozen virgin women to enter the deep, never to return.

    trust me. things are well under control and you needn't worry yourself with frivolous reports of the 300 foot tall "dolphin" with "spiderlike appendages" now roaming the countryside in search of "blood and bone." Having communicated with us telephathically it has been very stern in its demand for medical privacy both in words and in the uncontrollable nosebleeds affecting our newborns.

    --
    Good people go to bed earlier.
  6. Re:The water? by I'm+New+Around+Here · · Score: 4, Funny

    Or the bureaucrat could have been lazy and decided it was easier to deny the request that get the information. Never ascribe to malice what can easily be ascribed to incompetence.

    You're assuming that there was even detailed paperwork to begin with and that the dolphin wasn't just incinerated/buried as soon as they found out after 30 seconds that the dolphin wasn't carrying signs of rabies, drugs, or weapons of mass destruction, despite what the New Jersey police officer said in his report when he discharged 38 bullets into the animal in self-defense, mortally wounding it.

    To be fair, it was carrying a knife.

    --
    If you think I voted for Trump because of this post, you're wrong. I voted for Dr. Jill Stein of the Green Party. Again.
  7. Problems with the HIPAA underwater consent system by Applehu+Akbar · · Score: 4, Funny

    1. Relatively few dolphins can read English, though the New Jersey ESL program is working on that.
    2. Because the dolphin version of the HIPAA consent form is printed on those waterproof pads that divers use to write notes to each other, many individuals have experienced trouble holding a grease pencil in their mouths and writing a legible signature at the bottom of the form. Furthermore, individuals with the requisite agility to accomplish this task tend not to be the dolphins who can read the form in the first place.
    3. In dolphin culture, only the alpha bull of a pod has the legal authority to sign for the release of medical data on a deceased podmate. In the specific case at hand, the NJ Department of Agriculture was unable to obtain a validly signed release.
    4. The head of the NJ DoA, Jerry "Three Fingers" Fibonacci, is under indictment for bribing certain dolphin pod chieftains, using prime tuna from his seafood processing business, to ignore reporting of river pollution in the state of New Jersey. He is suspected of involvement in this specific case. But even if Fibonacci is eventually convicted, legal questions about the translation accuracy of dolphin testimony are intricate enough that they may have to be resolved by the SCOTUS.

  8. Re:The water? by Darinbob · · Score: 3, Funny

    Or what looked like a knife. Most likely the dolphin failed to respond when told to raise its hands.

    Officer: "should I shoot?"
    Dispatcher: "is it white or black?"
    Officer: "it's kind of grey."
    Dispatcher: "have to get back to you on that..."