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Feds: Brink's Employee Makes Off With $196,000 In Quarters (cnn.com)

Posted by BeauHD on from the that's-one-big-piggy-bank dept.

dfsmith writes: CNN is reporting today on the prosecution of a man who stole $196,000 worth of quarters from his employer in Alabama. Apparently the Brinks facility kept large bags of the coins for the Federal Reserve (about 1 ton each), which the accused emptied and refilled with beads (leaving some coins visible in the bag's window). Dennis faces a maximum penalty of 10 years in prison and a $250,000 fine. That's a million-quarter fine, or 216,000 more quarters than Dennis stole.
Notwithstanding the enterprise of purchasing and transporting that many beads, you've got to wonder: how would you go about this heist, and what would you do with the proceeds?

10 of 142 comments (clear)

  1. Parking by Early+Six+Digit+UID · · Score: 4, Funny

    I could park... FOREVER

    1. Re:Parking by davester666 · · Score: 3, Funny

      He probably had to do laundry. Have you seen how many quarter's those machines take?

      --
      Sleep your way to a whiter smile...date a dentist!
  2. Brilliant! by fuzzyfuzzyfungus · · Score: 5, Funny

    As recent college students know, laundromats almost always accept quarters as a mechanism for buying machine time, so laundering the proceeds must have been particularly easy and convenient. This guy is obviously a cerebral master of crime.

    1. Re: Brilliant! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Hey, don't be so hard on the guy... he was only a two bit criminal looking for some change to believe in!

  3. Re:What would you do? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Robber: "I'd like to convert these into pounds."
    Teller: "Sure thing! What have you got?"
    Robber: "196k in quarters"
    Teller: "OK, well, one quarter is 5.67 grams, so....9800 pounds"

  4. Get Medieval by bosef1 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Should this ruffian be apprehended, I believe the correct punishment, as warning and deterrent to others, is that he be drawn... and quartered.

    1. Re:Get Medieval by UnknownSoldier · · Score: 4, Funny

      You had to chime in with your two bits didn't you? :-)

    2. Re:Get Medieval by rsilvergun · · Score: 3, Funny

      I can't make heads or tails of these posts.

      --
      Hi! I make Firefox Plug-ins. Check 'em out @ https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/youtube-mp3-podcaster/
  5. Re: Well... by Type44Q · · Score: 3, Funny

    . Of course, that's why there are few true criminal masterminds out there.

    And how, pray tell, were you able to determine that? ;)

  6. Re:Well... by rwyoder · · Score: 4, Funny

    The classical way would be work through a coinop car wash or laundromat partner and then launder it through them by inflating the sales over a few years.

    I knew a married couple who were doing that. Walt & Skyler were really nice people!