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HPE's Haven OnDemand Offers 'Machine Learning As a Service' (adtmag.com)
An anonymous reader writes: Hewlett Packard Enterprise has announced its HPE Haven OnDemand machine learning service to bring Big Data analytics to mainstream developers. "HPE Haven OnDemand democratizes Big Data by bringing the power of machine learning, traditionally reserved for high-end, highly trained data scientists, to the mainstream developer community," said exec Colin Mahony. "Now, anyone can leverage our easy to use cloud-based service to harness the rich variety of data available today to build applications that produce new insights, differentiate businesses, delight customers and deliver competitive advantage." The platform, which is hosted on Microsoft's Azure platform, features more than 60 advanced ML APIs and services to help developers build data-driven applications including mobile, enterprise, consumer, desktop and Internet of Things projects. The APIs provide capabilities such as "prediction, face-detection, speech-to-text, and knowledge graph analysis for a wide range of data formats, including text, audio, image, social, web and video," the company said.
What the fuck does High Pitch Erik have to do anything? Bababooey Bababooey Howard Stern's penis!
How many buzzwords can you count in the summary?
( ________ ) fill in the blank
The subject is sarcastic. We already have enough people and businesses tracking us, cataloging what we do, and building profiles. Big data's main use is advertising and marketing, which tends to run contrary to privacy. We don't need more people with the ability to profile us and track our every move. This doesn't need to be made available to developers. It really doesn't need to exist at all. Big data needs to stop tracking us. And this is a step in the wrong direction.
Let's submit a machine-learning CEO-speak detector and generator as tasks to this platform. It will detect CEO-speak better than humans, and generate CEO-speak better than CEOs, thereby eliminating the need for CEOs altogether.
"Dear Slashdot,"
"Thank you for the Slashvertisement!"
"Our check is in the mail,"
"Yours Truly,"
"HP"
Schroedinger's Brexit: The UK is both in and out of the EU at the same time!
SKitAaaS - AKA, Swift Kick in the Ass as a Service.
This is getting crazy.
There is no data center in Houston. There is one in Plano, but that's still 250 miles away. HPE just spent several million dollars refurbishing the Enterprise Command Center here in Tulsa...yet their still not using it for any of this? There's actually TWO data centers here, the Cherokee DC and the old SABRE DC that is two stories underground at the airport.
One does NOT have to be a "high end, highly trained data scientist" to hook up some scripts and offload their processing to EC2/Azure/Beowulf-of-the-Month. I have seen junior students do this, with ease, and we all know they have trouble with anything of slight-to-moderate difficulty such cooking a passable meal or forming a proper sentence.
Oh well, I thought this would be about High-Pressure Electrolysis. :(
I have seen junior students do this, with ease, and we all know they have trouble with anything of slight-to-moderate difficulty such cooking a passable meal or forming a proper sentence.
Hmm, there to be missing a word in there. Yep.. still a student.