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Children To Parents: 'Don't Post About Me On Facebook Without Asking Me' (nytimes.com)
HughPickens.com writes: Sites like Facebook and Instagram are now baked into the world of today's families. Many, if not most, new parents post images of their newborn online within an hour of birth, and some parents create social media accounts for the children themselves -- often to share photos and news with family, although occasionally in the pursuit of "Instafame" for their fashionably clad, beautifully photographed sons and daughters. Now, KJ Dell'Antonia writes in the NYT about the growing disconnect between parents and their children and the one surprising rule children want their parents to know: Don't post anything about me on social media without asking me. "As these children come of age, they're going to be seeing the digital footprint left in their childhood's wake," says Stacey Steinberg. "While most of them will be fine, some might take issue with it." Alexis Hiniker studied 249 parent-child pairs distributed across 40 states and found about three times more children than parents thought there should be rules about what parents shared on social media. "Twice as many children as parents expressed concerns about family members oversharing personal information about them on Facebook and other social media without permission," says co-author Sarita Schoenebeck. "Many children said they found that content embarrassing and felt frustrated when their parents continued to do it."
When researchers asked kids what technology rules they wished their parents would follow -- a less common line of inquiry -- the answers fell into seven general categories: 1) Be present -- Children felt there should be no technology at all in certain situations, such as when a child is trying to talk to a parent. 2) Child autonomy -- Parents should allow children to make their own decisions about technology use without interference. 3) Moderate use -- Parents should use technology in moderation and in balance with other activities. 4) Supervise children -- Parents should establish and enforce technology-related rules for children's own protection. 5) Not while driving -- Parents should not text while driving or sitting at a traffic light. 6) No hypocrisy -- Parents should practice what they preach, such as staying off the Internet at mealtimes. 7) No oversharing -- Parents shouldn't share information online about their children without explicit permission.
When researchers asked kids what technology rules they wished their parents would follow -- a less common line of inquiry -- the answers fell into seven general categories: 1) Be present -- Children felt there should be no technology at all in certain situations, such as when a child is trying to talk to a parent. 2) Child autonomy -- Parents should allow children to make their own decisions about technology use without interference. 3) Moderate use -- Parents should use technology in moderation and in balance with other activities. 4) Supervise children -- Parents should establish and enforce technology-related rules for children's own protection. 5) Not while driving -- Parents should not text while driving or sitting at a traffic light. 6) No hypocrisy -- Parents should practice what they preach, such as staying off the Internet at mealtimes. 7) No oversharing -- Parents shouldn't share information online about their children without explicit permission.
This is like one of those cute little filler/joke news stories you see in the ticker in the SimCity games.
If you can't summarize the headline without a novel...
children To Parents https://goo.gl/8anlNR
kids choose the right thing.. stay the fuck off facebook.
but in reality, those same kids, with no one looking over their shoulder, are doing exactly what they supposedly don't want their parents doing... posting their lives online for the world to see.
Richard Stallman usually spends a minute or two at the beginning of presentations requesting that photos or videos of him are not distributed on Facebook. Perhaps he's worried about the attendees embarrassing him with his "fashionably clad, beautifully photographed" likeness.
So does this mean the children will not be posting things about their family in return? They won't be over-sharing about their classmates or drunk uncle or rant how parent x is doing this that and the other thing?
But don't post them. Use them for blackmail when they don't do their homework or clean their room.
“He’s not deformed, he’s just drunk!”
Kids will have plenty of time to embarrass themselves later on social media let them have a little privacy while they still don't know what privacy is.
Your'e all thinking it, I just said it for you
'Don't Post About Me On Facebook Without Asking Me'
Won't someone please stop thinking about the children?
Don't waste your vote! Vote for whoever you want, unless you live in a swing state it won't matter anyways
You see, the problem with this title is that children sensible enough to point that request towards their parents, were sensibly raised in order to have comprehended the summary of logical steps that lead towards that requests;
and to raise them to such a level would require sensible parents with good skills who wouldn't be the kind that would post about them on Facebook in the first place.
It's kind of a self-defeating title.
Parents to children! :P
Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
I was waiting for a movie to start when I heard a grandmother tell her elderly girlfriends that she had new pictures of her grandchildren. Next moment I heard multiple cellphones chiming and the ladies started laughing at the photos. That was a surreal moment.
This is a failure of the last generations. They dont realize the reach the surveillance state has, and to what extent they will go to keep data on everyone just so at a later date they can point to something and say "your bad, no freedom for you!". Those poor sods still think their government is there to help and protect them.
If I want to post about you on Facebook, I'm gonna go ahead and post about you on Facebook. I brought you into this world and by god I will take you out again.
And stop eating all the cereal.
You are welcome on my lawn.
2) Child autonomy and 4) supervise children. I wonder if those two came from the same children, or different ones. I hope that parents are smart enough to be the parents, and choose the right option. Sorry kits, you have to grow up to have autonomy.
Just imagine if Hitler had a Facebook when rounding up the Jews.
Now the roles are reversed. You have been warned.
Child autonomy.
Maybe they are just embarrassed to have parents who are competitive braggarts, parading their child like some object at 5th grade show and tell.
I dunno about other countries, but in AMERICA, we make use of our chattel however we damn well please! I did 'build that' therefore it's mine! /s
Corruption is convincing someone that the selfless ideal is the same as their selfish ideal.
Seriously every kid finds photos of them older than about 1 year from their current age embarrassing. OMG don't post that I had braces then! OMG don't post that I had long hair and wore pink all the time! OMG don't post that I'm still in the womb!
If anything the wide distribution of photos may show kids that the world doesn't end and it's nothing to be embarrassed about.
In Australia showing these photos has been a traditional right of passage. When you're 21 friends and family will attempt to dig out the most embarrassing photos of your past and put them on public display. Yeah we're embarrassed... for about 10 seconds, and then we have a good laugh about it afterwards. Then we try and drink a yard of beer while our friends record it and race to see who can be the first to get a picture of us throwing up on facebook.
It's a coercive relationship though. Imagine if a child publicized her parents life in the same way: "Parents had noisy, uninteresting sex last night. That's 90 seconds of my life I want back."
"Don't post anything about me on social media without asking me."
should be
"Don't post anything about me on social networks without asking me."
or even
"Don't post anything about me publicly without asking me."
Social media and social networks are different things, why cant these old fashioned corporate media companies who are trying to coin their relevance just fuck off.
Merely an extension of: Don't show my girlfriend/boyfriend those embarrassing photos of me when I was x years old.
We explicitly told my parents that we didn't want our daughter to have a presence on Facebook or any other social media when she was born. Their response? Post every picture sent via MMS or email to Facebook so they can win popularity contests with other grandparents. WTF??? Now they're on a much more, "limited" distribution list for any pictures or videos we take.
narcissism
excessive or erotic interest in oneself
narcissism
People from a century ago would regard the kids of today as whiny petulant brats.
If I ever had anyone added and they posted stupid shit about their kids, I reported the pictures and then deleted them.
I don't want to see your crap kid being stupid.
It is fine if it is something completely innocent like, "hey, blahblah is 1 years old today! Happy birthday!" or that, but if it is constant "ooooo look at the witto baby" every damn day, NOPE, gone.
Same goes with stupid pet obsessives.
Luckily I am not friends with either of those examples. (now)
Can't stand that noise.
You wouldn't go running about showing your baby to every random person in the street, or go to all your friends houses and show the kid tripping in to a swimming pool (taking the pool with you as well, just so you can replicate it!), so why the hell would you post it there?
Where is an anti-social network?
4chan doesn't count, I'm more social there than Facebook. wew.
"three times more children than parents thought there should be rules about what parents shared on social media"
Yes and three times more children than parents think there should be rules about parents coming to school dances; and about parents talking to said child's friends; and about what parents wear; and about parents dancing or singing.
Having raised two children myself, I have no doubt in my mind that there are several such topics kids feel more strongly about than the parents. And several such topics that kids find "embarrassing and feel frustrated when their parents continue to do it". In fact, I might go so far as to suggest here are several such things parents do specifically to embarrass and frustrate their children. I'm not sure family life was ever NOT like that. What world do these people live in?
It's not just about childish embarrassment. Often times it's legitimately unsafe behavior. Kids these days are steeped in the internet, but also being taught from a very early age about safe practices, and those are lessons that many of their parent's are simply not exposed to until they see some horror story on Dateline. I recently had to inform a friend that it wasn't a good idea to post a full scan of her son's new Drivers License on Facebook, no matter how proud she was of his milestone accomplishment. In a few years when that kid discovers he has outstanding warrants in some other state because his identity has been stolen and somebody was driving around using his License, it wont be his Fault, but it Will be his problem.
Common Sense isn't as Common as people think...