Slashdot Mirror
Children To Parents: 'Don't Post About Me On Facebook Without Asking Me' (nytimes.com)
HughPickens.com writes: Sites like Facebook and Instagram are now baked into the world of today's families. Many, if not most, new parents post images of their newborn online within an hour of birth, and some parents create social media accounts for the children themselves -- often to share photos and news with family, although occasionally in the pursuit of "Instafame" for their fashionably clad, beautifully photographed sons and daughters. Now, KJ Dell'Antonia writes in the NYT about the growing disconnect between parents and their children and the one surprising rule children want their parents to know: Don't post anything about me on social media without asking me. "As these children come of age, they're going to be seeing the digital footprint left in their childhood's wake," says Stacey Steinberg. "While most of them will be fine, some might take issue with it." Alexis Hiniker studied 249 parent-child pairs distributed across 40 states and found about three times more children than parents thought there should be rules about what parents shared on social media. "Twice as many children as parents expressed concerns about family members oversharing personal information about them on Facebook and other social media without permission," says co-author Sarita Schoenebeck. "Many children said they found that content embarrassing and felt frustrated when their parents continued to do it."
When researchers asked kids what technology rules they wished their parents would follow -- a less common line of inquiry -- the answers fell into seven general categories: 1) Be present -- Children felt there should be no technology at all in certain situations, such as when a child is trying to talk to a parent. 2) Child autonomy -- Parents should allow children to make their own decisions about technology use without interference. 3) Moderate use -- Parents should use technology in moderation and in balance with other activities. 4) Supervise children -- Parents should establish and enforce technology-related rules for children's own protection. 5) Not while driving -- Parents should not text while driving or sitting at a traffic light. 6) No hypocrisy -- Parents should practice what they preach, such as staying off the Internet at mealtimes. 7) No oversharing -- Parents shouldn't share information online about their children without explicit permission.
When researchers asked kids what technology rules they wished their parents would follow -- a less common line of inquiry -- the answers fell into seven general categories: 1) Be present -- Children felt there should be no technology at all in certain situations, such as when a child is trying to talk to a parent. 2) Child autonomy -- Parents should allow children to make their own decisions about technology use without interference. 3) Moderate use -- Parents should use technology in moderation and in balance with other activities. 4) Supervise children -- Parents should establish and enforce technology-related rules for children's own protection. 5) Not while driving -- Parents should not text while driving or sitting at a traffic light. 6) No hypocrisy -- Parents should practice what they preach, such as staying off the Internet at mealtimes. 7) No oversharing -- Parents shouldn't share information online about their children without explicit permission.
> glad I didn't have that open up at work.
You must be in the US. DO they still make breastfeeding mothers go hide in a special room at your work?
Not sure how this is relevant though. I think TFA talking about social media posting that might embarrass the *child* in future. Not the mother (should she emigrate to a more conservative culture.)
You must be in the US. DO they still make breastfeeding mothers go hide in a special room at your work?
I'm in the US, in Texas no less, which tends to still have that nonsense...
Yea, people here are sexually repressed, which is probably why we have so much sex in advertising.
But movies with huge violence are still PG-13 while movies with naked boobies are rated R.
Yes, our "religious right" is nuts, what can you do?
BTW, I watched part of that video. While the mother has very nice breasts, there is nothing sexual about that at all. It is a very loving act by a mother feeding her child.
So does this mean the children will not be posting things about their family in return? They won't be over-sharing about their classmates or drunk uncle or rant how parent x is doing this that and the other thing?
"You must be in the US. DO they still make breastfeeding mothers go hide in a special room at your work?"
The mothers in my office that pump while at work would not want to do it at their desk. In Europe is it common for mothers to pump while sitting at their desk?
"Action without philosophy is a lethal weapon; philosophy without action is worthless."
But don't post them. Use them for blackmail when they don't do their homework or clean their room.
“He’s not deformed, he’s just drunk!”
Kids will have plenty of time to embarrass themselves later on social media let them have a little privacy while they still don't know what privacy is.
Your'e all thinking it, I just said it for you
'Don't Post About Me On Facebook Without Asking Me'
Won't someone please stop thinking about the children?
Don't waste your vote! Vote for whoever you want, unless you live in a swing state it won't matter anyways
Parents to children! :P
Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
I was waiting for a movie to start when I heard a grandmother tell her elderly girlfriends that she had new pictures of her grandchildren. Next moment I heard multiple cellphones chiming and the ladies started laughing at the photos. That was a surreal moment.
Can someone explain to me why /. doesn't ban URL shorteners? ... calling out site domains between [brackets], to be strict in this regard.
It would be nice to show the dereferenced link domain for url-shorterners, but in this particular case it would not help you. It would be [youtube.com], which is safe as youtube blocks porn etc quite quickly. Poster could have used a youtu.be url too. /. could somehow block links to unlisted youtube videos, which are more likely to offend, but ... you know .. its just harmless G-rated boobies, not goatse.
Maybe
If I want to post about you on Facebook, I'm gonna go ahead and post about you on Facebook. I brought you into this world and by god I will take you out again.
And stop eating all the cereal.
You are welcome on my lawn.
PG-13 is 'huge violence' now? How soft and spineless we've become..
2) Child autonomy and 4) supervise children. I wonder if those two came from the same children, or different ones. I hope that parents are smart enough to be the parents, and choose the right option. Sorry kits, you have to grow up to have autonomy.
Well of course it is. Everything is an 'offense' in hyper lefty countries. Such dainty peoples. Like almost anything else that involves bodily functions, typically, mothers here WANT privacy for that.
Child autonomy.
Have you seen Lord of the Rings? You would take a 13 year old to that? Or worse, a 10 year old, which I've seen happen as well.
Avengers is not violent? Transformer is not violent?
This is not spineless, this is non-stop violence that is not good for young minds that cannot process it. The last 30 min of the third Transformers movie basically never stops, it is nothing but explosions and mayhem.
This is not good for kids. It is probably not good for adults either, but we at least have a chance to put it into perspective.
Or this.
Maybe they are just embarrassed to have parents who are competitive braggarts, parading their child like some object at 5th grade show and tell.
I dunno about other countries, but in AMERICA, we make use of our chattel however we damn well please! I did 'build that' therefore it's mine! /s
Corruption is convincing someone that the selfless ideal is the same as their selfish ideal.
Violence is normal and accepted. Everyone knows that.
Sex is abnormal and shunned. Everyone also knows that.
Also, nakedness leads to sexiness, so we can't have any of that either.
But evisceration and mutilation? That's fine. People do that all. the. time.
Kid-proof tablet..
Seriously every kid finds photos of them older than about 1 year from their current age embarrassing. OMG don't post that I had braces then! OMG don't post that I had long hair and wore pink all the time! OMG don't post that I'm still in the womb!
If anything the wide distribution of photos may show kids that the world doesn't end and it's nothing to be embarrassed about.
In Australia showing these photos has been a traditional right of passage. When you're 21 friends and family will attempt to dig out the most embarrassing photos of your past and put them on public display. Yeah we're embarrassed... for about 10 seconds, and then we have a good laugh about it afterwards. Then we try and drink a yard of beer while our friends record it and race to see who can be the first to get a picture of us throwing up on facebook.
I don't care what bodily function you're doing, don't let me see it.,
You know breathing is a bodily function too, right?
SJW n. One who posts facts.
Merely an extension of: Don't show my girlfriend/boyfriend those embarrassing photos of me when I was x years old.
Since air is not visible, it doesn't bother me much to see folks breathe.
Facebook is already used in investigations. Hope there will be no regime investigating against YOU. Or Jews. Or people with beards. Who every is the new target.
Do you mind seeing people eat?
SJW n. One who posts facts.
"three times more children than parents thought there should be rules about what parents shared on social media"
Yes and three times more children than parents think there should be rules about parents coming to school dances; and about parents talking to said child's friends; and about what parents wear; and about parents dancing or singing.
Having raised two children myself, I have no doubt in my mind that there are several such topics kids feel more strongly about than the parents. And several such topics that kids find "embarrassing and feel frustrated when their parents continue to do it". In fact, I might go so far as to suggest here are several such things parents do specifically to embarrass and frustrate their children. I'm not sure family life was ever NOT like that. What world do these people live in?
It's even worse than that. There are people out there now who just watch for any picture-taking... not of them specifically, but anywhere in their general vicinity... so that they can be offended by it. On multiple occasions over the last several years, I've taken pictures of or with friends, or of events taking place in public (Not just random happenstance events, mind you, but also planned public events like the SF Pride parade & festival.); and had some random unknown person come up to me, demand to see the picture so they can check if they're in the background and *order* me to delete the picture if that's the case. Suffice it to say, I told them where they can stick their demands and orders every time. But that sort of thing didn't happen until the last half-decade or so, and seems to have become increasingly common since.
Also, there's a contingent at some events (like Burning Man, for example) who believe that it should be "lived within the moment", and that any photography at all "violates the sanctity" of said notion. That contingent tends to be mostly harmless loons and not aggressively confrontational than the former though.
Imagine all the people...
It's not just about childish embarrassment. Often times it's legitimately unsafe behavior. Kids these days are steeped in the internet, but also being taught from a very early age about safe practices, and those are lessons that many of their parent's are simply not exposed to until they see some horror story on Dateline. I recently had to inform a friend that it wasn't a good idea to post a full scan of her son's new Drivers License on Facebook, no matter how proud she was of his milestone accomplishment. In a few years when that kid discovers he has outstanding warrants in some other state because his identity has been stolen and somebody was driving around using his License, it wont be his Fault, but it Will be his problem.
Common Sense isn't as Common as people think...
When Winslet posed nude in a screening of Titanic, there was a 8yo instructed by his parents to turn around and not look. Sacramento CA, not the butthole of the US.
Right, so, you personally make sure to lock yourself in an individual cubicle in order to eat?
Vintage computer games and RPG books available. Email me if you're interested.
Your sheltered upbringing is showing. Live sex shows (full penetration, various genders, anatomies and species) have been a popular form of entertainment for millennia.
Birds are not dinosaur descendants;birds are dinosaurs, for all useful meanings of "birds", "are" and "dinosaurs"
When Winslet posed nude in a screening of Titanic, there was a 8yo instructed by his parents to turn around and not look. Sacramento CA, not the butthole of the US.
Well that just goes to show you that "progressives" in the US aren't so progressive. :)
I'm in Texas, both my 7 year old daughter and 10 year old son have watched that movie. The parts that I was most worried about was the shooting (both at Kate and the suicide of the officer who shot the passenger), which we paused the movie and talked about.
The boobs? Don't bother me or my kids a bit, I talk to my kids about that sort of stuff and put it thus: "God made us all in his image, naked and perfect. Humans are not perfect and cover up because of emotion, fear, modesty, and other feelings. There is nothing "wrong" or "bad" about a naked person, so long as that person is treated kindly. We're all naked under our clothes."
I don't care what bodily function you're doing, don't let me see it.
While you're welcome to that viewpoint, you aren't likely to get very far. After all, eating is a bodily function.
Just because you want something doesn't mean you're right or that you should get it. Maybe you're a racist. Fine, but that doesn't mean you get to discriminate when you hire people. You live in this thing called society, where we all agree to work together so that we can all live well.
One of those things is respecting a woman's right and need to breastfeed her child without making a big deal out of it.
Have you seen Lord of the Rings? You would take a 13 year old to that?
I saw Aliens and Predator around the age of 7. I was running around blowing up demons in Doom when I was 8. I don't get the issue.
Bodily functions don't bother people, bodily functions that spread disease do. Of course understanding this requires abstract thought from higher level thinking which seems to be lost on many.