Stephen Elop New Chief Innovator For Australia's Telstra
Freshly Exhumed writes: The former Microsoft executive excoriated by some industry watchers for the collapse of Nokia Mobile Phones, Stephen Elop, has re-emerged down under. Telstra says Elop is being appointed to the new role of Group Executive Technology, Innovation and Strategy, "leading Telstra's strategy to become a world class technology company" (stop giggling, you in the back row). Telstra cites Elop's "deep technology experience" and "innate sense of customer expectations."
I hope they can improve their customer service because at the moment it is so bad, and their procedures so illogical, that it is faster to churn across to another service provider than it is to get Telstra to fix things, so if you are out of contract just jump and don't even bother asking them for help.
Telstra cites Elop's "deep technology experience" and "innate sense of customer expectations."
That must be a weird typo, it should read "inane sense of customer expectations." instead.
I have good news and bad news. The good news is we got rid of our Elop problem! The bad news is that we had to sacrifice Australia to do it.
Anons need not reply. Questions end with a question mark.
He did exactly what he was supposed to do - ruin Nokia as an independent company so that Microsoft could swoop in.
#DeleteChrome
Among other things, Australia's technological achievements include WiFi, which you quite likely used to write your message.
Jumping from one executive position into the other, no matter what the quality of their work.
"The agriculture ministry is not in charge of Gundam" - Japanese ministry official.
Australia has a long history of innovation and inventions. Some of the ones you may have heard of include:
The black box flight recorder
Spray-on skin for burn victims
The heart pacemaker
Plastic bank notes
The bionic ear
The electric drill
WiFi
The medical ultrasound machine
The cervical cancer vaccine
The boomerang
The hills hoist
The stubby holder
Ugg Boots
The Esky
The Ute
The Victa lawn mower
The wine cask
And that's just some of the things Aussies have invented over the years.
Trying to pin down THE "inventor" of almost all of those devices is futile. A case in point is who "invented" the airplane - your first hurdle is simply defining "airplane" - and, does it have to be powered? - and piloted? A Greek by the name of Archytas was reputed to have flown a bird-shaped model propelled by a jet of steam for some 200 metres, around 400 BC. Manned gliders were experimented with as early as the 9th century AD. Sir George Cayley was flying glider models that were essentially the full embodiment of the modern conception of airplanes (sans power plants) - in 1803 or 1804. He built a manned glider that flew successfully in 1853. Cayley may have performed powered flight in 1901, though definitive documentation is lacking.
Eyewitness accounts say the New Zealander Richard Pearse took off in his engine-powered monoplane in 1902 or 1903 and flew 300 metres - something (take off under their own power) which the Wrights did NOT accomplish in their first flight at the very end of 1903.
Contemporary reports exist that Gustave Whitehead flew over 2 km in 1901. His craft was not just an airplane, but a flying car. It had two engines driving two propellers, plus a third engine for terrestrial driving. On March 8, 2013, "Jane's All the World's Aircraft" formally recognized this achievement, after years of discrediting.
I did look up the Australian "pacemaker". It was a 1926 machine that had to be plugged into a wall socket. It had one skin pad plus one needle which had to be plunged through the chest wall into the heart. But it did work, and was capable of resuscitating patients from cardiac arrest, after which its use could be terminated. A Canadian produced a fully transcutaneous pacemaker in 1950. It was heavy, plugged into a wall socket, and rather uncomfortable, because of the heavy shocking action, like today's external defibrillators. In 1958 a USAian, Bakken, produced the first wearable external pacemaker, using transcutaneous leads embedded in the heart. Proper implantable pacemakers followed.
I am satisfied to consider that brilliant people of many nations and cultures have all participated in developing and perfecting many useful things.
It only makes sense if you consider CEOs to be modern royalty, and that companies need to choose someone of a "noble bloodline" to rule them. I can't find any other logical explanation for putting someone as astronomically incompetent as Stephen Elop in charge of anything more than a mop & bucket (not even a gas pump or coffee machine, gas is flammable and coffee burns).
I'd say that this guy is the Hitler of business management, but I don't think that carries the weight it once did, we're too cool with Hitlers these days. Should we go back to the Pharaoh standard?
"When information is power, privacy is freedom" - Jah-Wren Ryel
To be fair, by most accounts, Nokia was already doing their damnedest to ruin their company before Elop was at the helm. If you look at what they had been doing and were doing when Elop moved in and want to think it was some sort of conspiracy than the conspiracy must have started about three years prior to the event.
That doesn't mean it's not possible, it just means that there were more people involved - thus making it less likely.
"So long and thanks for all the fish."
I scrolled back up just because I wanted to respond to this.
It got me thinking... You know, I'm unaware of any AUS legislation that would prevent such a merger/purchase. With MSFT wanting to move into the mobile sector more than they already are... The odds of that are low and the odds of success are probably lower - but it might make some sense.
However, if it were Elop *again* to do so, I'm thinking somebody, somewhere, somehow is going to start asking a few questions. That's REALLY going to result in some extreme investigations - it absolutely has to. Well, it would in any country that I'm reasonably familiar with laws regarding publicly traded companies. Not even the SEC would be able to pretend that was normal, and that's here in the US.
It might actually be a sound business choice for Microsoft to do something like that but I'm 100% positive, well - 99.9% positive, that doing it via Elop is an absolutely bad idea. We're talking someone's-probably-going-to-jail - type of bad idea. That's not gonna pass the sniff test, not even remotely. Have they had any other executive-level changes recently? I still, even if they were going to, can't imagine who the hell would think that bringing Elop into it (a second time) would be smart. That doesn't make any sense.
But, it might make an interesting bit of mental bubble gum. Maybe Microsoft could start something like Straight-Talk (I think that's the name) or TracPhone with their mobile phones? I'd almost say that the idea of that, or buying their way into the carrier market, would be a very, very interesting strategy and might be very profitable if done well.
Yes, yes I do use Linux as my OS but I do have a Windows phone. Believe it or not, there are plenty of apps available and I've been very happy with the phone. It does everything I need and lots of things I'm not actually wanting from a phone.
Speaking of phones, I'm still awaiting a return call. At that point, I'll go rent a satellite phone - assuming my request is approved. Missus KGIII and I are gonna go to Cuba for a few days. Well, we're hoping to.
"So long and thanks for all the fish."
he had his best shot at taking Telestra down by the lawyers. Telestra seems to be the dumping ground for losers in suits.
if this is supposed to be a new economy, how come they still want my old fashioned money?