Twitter To Give All New Parents 20 Weeks of Paid Leave (fortune.com)

Michal Lev-Ram, reporting for Fortune: May 1 will be a happy day for Twitter employees -- at least those expecting a baby. The social media site is the latest tech player to offer so-called "gender-neutral" parental leave, guaranteeing any parent up to 20 weeks of fully paid time off. Other companies that have embraced such policies include Etsy, Facebook, and Change.org. The rationale? Family structures have changed, and allowing for more evenly distributed parenting equals happier employees, both male and female (within, of course, both heterosexual and same-sex couples).

Comments

What abt people who don't want kids?

[Anonymous Coward]

I want 20 my weeks too, or I'll take a 1 year 38.5% raise instead.

Re: What abt people who don't want kids?

[bill_mcgonigle]

Somebody has to make more humans for the species' survival. If you work at Twitter, you might be doing nice work, but you're not doing anything as socially critical as reproduction. As far as socially-responsible practices go, this is a good one.

It's a good sign that,in modern times companies must compete for top employees. The only force making Twitter do this is market pressure. This will likely diffuse into society, working down the income ladder, just as Sundays and then two-day weekends and 9-5 hours did, as technology and productivity created the wealth required for societies to afford it (not to mention and end to child labor).

[Out before the curmudgeons equate child labor to Twitter developers]

Re:What abt people who don't want kids?

[ranton]

I want 20 my weeks too, or I'll take a 1 year 38.5% raise instead.

Invest 20,000+ hours in creating the next generation, and then you can talk about getting another 160-480 hours off from your job.

This isn't charity. I am one of the highly skilled workers with two young children who put family related benefits high on my priority list. My first daughter was born at a company with paid paternity leave, and for my second child my current company gave me weeks of PTO up front because my wife was pregnant when I joined. I assure you my boss and his superiors didn't bat an eye at giving me extra time off if it meant being able to get me to join.

If you care so much about this, negotiate for more PTO time for yourself because of your needs as a single person. If you are worth it they will give it to you.

Re:What abt people who don't want kids?

[NotDrWho]

You get a shitload of extra work to pick up the slack.

Re: What abt people who don't want kids?

[NotDrWho]

It's not my job to help other assholes procreate.

Re: What abt people who don't want kids?

[blackomegax]

If you think spending 20 weeks with a newborn child is "time off" equivalent to other peoples vacations, you are delusional.

Re:What abt people who don't want kids?

[NotDrWho]

It's funny because properly raising a child is one of the least selfish things you can do

Bullshit. You want some cute kid to play with and love and to carry on your name. Fine. But stop acting like it makes you Jesus, you self-centered fuckhead.

I don't owe you jack-fucking-shit. And neither do any of your co-workers.

When you adopted a dog, did you run to your co-workers and ask them to pay for your fucking Purina too, you arrogant douche?

Re: What abt people who don't want kids?

[Jason Levine]

This leave is for the extra burden of raising a child during its first few months, which is far greater than it is later in life. So this leave is for the act of raising a child.

And for any childless people who are thinking "well, the first few months of a baby's life are a cakewalk. It eats, it sleeps, you change a few diapers, no problem. It doesn't even move if you put it down", then think again. I've had two kids. I love them dearly and still think having kids is totally worth it (though I don't act like people who don't want kids are crazy - different strokes and all). Still, I warn all new parents about the "hell months."

While your child-to-be is in utero, it doesn't need to have a schedule. If it needs to feed, the umbilical cord takes care of it. If it needs to expel waste (pee since it doesn't poop until it is born), the woman's body processes out the waste. It can sleep or wake, at any time. After birth, though, the baby needs to rely on the parents for feeding, changing, etc. Since the baby can't say "Hey, I'd really like to eat now", it cries. It cries loud. You think you get annoyed when some baby is crying in the store, think how the mother feels since she's tried feeding it, changing it, rocking it, burping it, and it won't stop crying.

Oh, and did I mention that the mother has had 3 hours of sleep in the past 5 days?

The new baby has no schedule. It can cry at any moment for any reason and it's up to you, the new parent, to take care of it. It doesn't matter that it cried at 10pm to be fed, 11:15pm to be changed, 1am to be changed again, and 1:30am just because it was fussy. It'll still cry at 2:03am for no apparent reason. Then, it won't cry for 5 hours and you should sleep but you can't because you are expecting that cry to happen at any moment. And just as you fall asleep, it cries again. It takes about three months of this for the baby to develop a schedule.

And lest any men think that their wives will just get up to take care of the baby, I was the "night shift" with my boys. My wife was exhausted after taking care of them all day. Besides, if she picked them up at night, they'd smell milk and think "feeding time" not "time to sleep." If I picked them up, they'd think "no milk and this guy's rocking us, time for sleep." Of course, putting them down could wake them up so I'd rest my eyes while standing and rocking them. It's amazing how little sleep you can function on!

If any non-parent wants to simulate this, connect a loud buzzer to a random timer. Have it go off at all hours of the night (and day) and require that you hit one of five buttons (again, randomly chosen) to shut it off. Have a fifty-fifty chance that the buzzer will go off ten seconds after you hit the right button with a new "right button" randomly picked. This should give you some idea of what new parents go through (though it will still be easier).

So don't envy these new parents for their 20 week "vacations." Chances are, they are using that time to keep their sanity in check and get some order re-established in their households so they can come back into work and be productive instead of barely functional zombies.

Re:What abt people who don't want kids?

[jedidiah]

> You are quite an unpleasant person all around. Its good you have the self-awareness to not have kids.

I agree with him completely and I do have kids. It's not my job or his to pay for your life choices, it's YOURS.

That's what it means to be an ADULT.

Probably not much of a productivity difference.

[StayFrosty]

My experience (not personal, but second-hand) is that new parents--both male and female--seem to get next to no sleep for the first couple of months and don't get a heck of a lot accomplished at work. Staying awake seems to be the biggest challenge. Programs like this will go a long way to improve morale and employee health and might be a net gain (in profit) by the time employee retention and productivity are figured in. I'd like to see a study in a couple of years.

I'm also betting not everyone is going to take the full 20 weeks. I'm betting these new parents may want to go to work (or, more accurately, get out of the house) one or two days a week for a bit of a mental health break.

Excellent

[31415926535897]

So I just need three women whom I can become a new parent by, some proper spacing, and I can get permanent, paid paternity leave from Twitter. If more and more companies go down this road, I don't see any reason why I can't be simultaneously employed by all of them.

Re:Fuck off.

[mark-t]

Of course... because everyone knows that being a new parent is "time off" from doing any actual work.

It's less about rewarding people for procreating and more about the company trying to not lose valuable employees just because they've had a kid and would otherwise leave.