Microsoft's Nadella Reshapes Top Management as Turner Leaves (bloomberg.com)

Dina Bass, reporting for Bloomberg: Microsoft Corp. Chief Executive Officer Satya Nadella announced a broad reorganization of the company's senior executive ranks as long-time Chief Operating Officer Kevin Turner prepares to leave for another job. Instead of naming a new COO, Nadella appointed two executives to divvy up the sales responsibilities and report to him. Jean-Philippe Courtois will be in charge of global sales, marketing and operations spanning Microsoft's 13 business areas, Nadella said in a note to employees Thursday. Judson Althoff will lead the worldwide commercial business, including government and small and medium-sized businesses. Other executives already reporting to Nadella will take on parts of Turner's job, with Chris Capossela leading worldwide marketing, Kurt DelBene leading IT and Chief Financial Officer Amy Hood taking over the sales and marketing team's finance group, which had been separate.

Comments

As part of the restructing Microsoft will...

[Anonymous Coward]

...create the new positions:

Head of Incomprehensible User Interface Design Decisions
Director of Customisation Option Removal
Forced Windows Update Committee Leader
Windows 10 Botnet Head Administrator
Chief of User Anal Probing

lifted from William DeBuvitz

[Lead Butthead]

The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by investigators at a major U.S. research university. The element, tentatively named administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons, which gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.

Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would have normally occurred in less than a second.

Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. Some studies have shown that the atomic mass actually increases after each reorganization.

Research at other laboratories indicates that administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such as government agencies, large corporations, and universities. It can usually be found in the newest, best appointed, and best maintained buildings.

Scientists point out that administratium is known to be toxic at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are not promising.