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A Woman Is Suing Her Parents For Posting Embarrassing Childhood Photos To Facebook
Earlier this year, we ran a story which talked about how a parent could be sued by their kids for posting their photos on Facebook. Over the past two years, we have seen several such cases, and now we have another one. From a report on NYMag:An 18-year-old woman in Carinthia, Austria, is suing her parents over the 500-odd childhood photos they've posted of her on Facebook without her consent. "They knew no shame and no limit and didn't care whether it was a picture of me sitting on the toilet or lying naked in my cot -- every stage was photographed and then made public," she told The Local, an English-language Austrian newspaper. She went on, "I'm tired of not being taken seriously by my parents," who, despite her requests, have refused to take the photos down. The woman's father reportedly believes he's in the right to post the pictures because he took them. But her lawyer is adamant that if he can prove the photos violated the woman's right to privacy, her parents could be forced to pay damages and legal fees.
I'm trying to wrap my brain around a parent who says no to their child's request that photos of the child be taken down from the Internet. This isn't even an issue of good parenting, it's an issue of common courtesy!
Teenagers are tricky create they often have little empathy of their own yet are highly sensitive to perceived slights and are easily embarrassed. They are also impulsive and easily convinced to do things that are ultimately only going to be self destructive like suing ones own parents over a relatively minor thing.
I can understand both attitudes here. As a parent you need to show that it is you are in control and you who make the rules. You don't have to stop doing something because your children don't approve, but they will not be permitted to do what you find objectionable beyond the leeway you might be willing to afford them.
On the other hand if it was my kid this isn't the hill I'd pick to die on (well I never would have posted the stuff in the first place). I think I would say well mom and I posted those pictures because we are proud of you and our family but if they make you uncomfortable we will mark them private so only us and your grand parents can see them. Seem like this would be a good moment to show some empathy and hope the kid models in the future.
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Both. The daughter suing her parents over this is absurd but the parents not removing them when it evidently upsets her this much is appalling.
Man, it's like nothing makes sense anymore! Naked girl on fire good, naked girl not on fire bad, how exactly are we deciding these things?!
Are you attempting to claim that the person is correctly handling conflict resolution by asking the Government to give her "her" way? Sorry, but that is absolutely not conflict resolution, it's bullying. Given that action, how likely is it that she ever talked to them and asked them to take down any photos compared to trying to bully her parents into taking the pictures down? I could be wrong, but generally gauge people pretty well.
I agree that there could be problems on both sides, but her side is open for inspection. Pictures of her on a potty chair (one of the ones I heard she had in her complain) are not bad by default. My parents had pictures of me on the potty chair, another in my undies with Chicken Pox, etc.. I didn't do the same for my kid, but that's not in any way claiming my parents were wrong. It was a personal preference where I simply didn't take photos like my parents did. They invested hundreds of hours on setting up photo albums, I didn't.
If the pictures were of her being naked it would be considered porn and her parents would have had to remove the photos and probably be facing criminla charges. That is not the case presented thus far, if you have different evidence show it.
-The wise argue that there are few absolutes, the fool argues that there are no probabilities.
One of our neighbors' daughters graduated from high school this year. She and her sister used to hang out with my two kids when they were much younger. They'd stage and record these "shows" using a camcorder. It was tame and goofy stuff. So before her graduation party I posted a couple of them on youtube and shared the link with my neighbor. I marked it as private.
I reassured the mom that it wasn't public. She didn't care, - but the kids sure did. They were mortified at the thought that their friends might find it. Teenagers are VERY image conscious. Even though they'll post the dumbest stuff on youtube, snapchat, and instagram, - things that they'll find much more embarrassing a decade from now, they want to control their image. I get that.
There is no doubt in my mind that childhood pictures could be a source of ridicule for a teen. At the same time, I doubt their friends' or enemies' opinions about them are influenced one way or the other by naked baby pictures. As a teen it's hard to see that though and I think the parents need a little more empathy in this case. It's idiotic that something like this requires intervention by a court to resolve but I blame the parents both for being stupid about it and for raising a kid that would file a lawsuit over it.
So you think she should NOT have a right to have naked pictures of her taken offline?
Just because you have right to do something doesn't mean it is right to do it. Yes, she has the right to sue. But that may not be the best way to resolve this dispute.
Of course, I don't know her, or her parents, and I didn't even read the article, so I am not qualified to make a judgement either way.
Both. The daughter suing her parents over this is absurd but the parents not removing them when it evidently upsets her this much is appalling.
So, what should she do if her parents refuse to remove photos, including her "sitting on the toilet or lying naked in my cot"?
You're telling me it's "absurd" for her to sue, and she should "Grow The Fuck Up (tm)". But you're not telling me what she should actually do. What choices does she have other than suing?
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I'd take them down, then thar would be the last she ever heard of me. "You are no longer in our life, person - is that taking you seriously enough?"
If your response to everyone that gets mad at you for something you did is to shut them out of your life forever you're going to live a pretty lonely life. Doubly so if those people are your children. Shutting a child out of your life is an absolutely brutal thing to do. I have direct experience in my family of what this is like. Parents who do this for any reason other than self protection are assholes.
You are correct about not knowing the dynamics of the situation. but if a child of mine ever sued me for anything, it would be the last contact they'd ever have with me.
Based on your response that might be good thing. You sound unbalanced and I'm guessing you don't have children. You seriously believe that no matter how badly you behave the child should never be able to drag you in to court? Some parents are terrible, abusive, mean, or manipulative. Some parents steal from their children or beat them or abuse them both physically and psychologically. There is a reason emancipated minors are a thing. If an adult (she is 18) child actually gets to the point where you behavior has made them think that the only means to get you to behave nicely is to sue you then the problem is most likely YOU. What exactly do the parents lose by taking the pictures down? Nothing. They are keeping them up just out of spite and/or disrespect for self indulgent reasons. I'm having trouble seeing any scenario where the parents are the good guys here.
If I posted a picture of someone and they asked me to take it down I see no reason to be a jerk about it and ignore the request. Granted going to court about it is pretty extreme but it's entirely conceivable that it is justified (or possibly not). Frankly I wouldn't want all my childhood pictures being posted publicly either so I get where the daughter is coming from. I don't have a facebook account for this very reason among others. Some people value their privacy and don't want everyone in the world to see every detail of their lives. Reasonable people will honor this point of view so long as it causes no harm and none could possibly come from taking down the pictures..
The obvious answer is to ignore it. Non-mentally-ill adults do not experience "emotional distress" over the fact that people may see some of their baby pictures.
Why should she ignore it? That will not solve her problem. They are pictures of her, not pictures of you and they affect her. There can be real consequences to having even seemingly innocent information made public. Maybe you don't care but she's entitled to a different opinion. I don't like having pictures of me posted without my consent either. It's one of the reasons I don't participate in facebook. The parents are being very disrespectful and possibly harmful. It costs them nothing to take the pictures down and respect her harmless request for privacy. Mentally ill people are those who lack empathy for others and the parents are the ones showing a distinct lack of it here.
I can get on board with the notion that suing might be overkill here but there is no objective reason for the parents to persist their behavior. I very much doubt they would like naked pictures of themselves posted publicly. The fact that she is a child in the pictures makes them arguably child porn if she really wants to play hardball over it. Just because someone is your parent doesn't make any and all behavior towards their child acceptable.
First of all... most of society doesn't judge adults by how silly they may have looked as children, and the portion of society that does is not worth spending any time with in the first place.
And while it is wholly deplorable of her parents to not respect her desire to have those pictures taken down, her attitude about how bad she thinks it will affect her isn't exactly brimming with a mature point of view. As I said, most people probably don't care about silly childhood photo's. On top of it, that she feels she should sue them over something like this is ultimately just a grown-up version of having a temper tantrum because she didn't get her way.
File under 'M' for 'Manic ranting'