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Oracle Hires Global Specialists To Explore Feasibility of Buying Accenture
Paul Kunert writes in an exclusive report via The Register: Oracle has hired global specialists to explore the feasibility of buying multi-billion dollar consultancy Accenture, sources have told us. The database giant has engaged a team of consultants to conduct due diligence to "explore the synergies that could be created if they [Oracle] bought Accenture lock stock and barrel," one source claimed. On top of the financial considerations, the consultants are evaluating the pros and cons including the potential impact on Oracle's wider channel. "While these things have a habit of fizzling out there are some fairly serious players around the table," a contact added. Another claimed the process was at an early stage. "If buying Accenture was a 100 meter race, Oracle is at the 10 to 15 meter stage now." [T]his buy would be an immensely bold, complicated and pricey move: NYSE-listed Accenture has a market cap of $77.5 billion, and shareholders will expect a premium offer. A deal would dwarf Oracle's $10 billion buy of PeopleSoft, its $7.4 billion deal for Sun Microsystems, and more recently, the $9.3 billion splashed on Netsuite. In buying Accenture, Oracle would be taking a leaf out of the mid-noughties handbook - when HP fatefully bought EDS and IBM acquired PWC to carve out a brighter future.
You know a consultant is worth every dime when they're going to "explore the synergies". That phrase makes me wonder - did they hire *actual* consultants or parodies?
Oracle: We want to hire you to tell us if buying this company is a good deal
...and you want me to tell you if spending money on something is a good idea...
...and this purchase price will still be in the billions...
Me: Sounds like you want me to be a consultant...
O: No no no Consultant is such a 90's term "Global Acquisition Specialist" is better.
Me:
O: Oh no, this has to be a SMART expenditure of capital! We can't be wasting Larry's cash that's reserved for a small Bohemian island on a Dud!
Me:...even though purchasing something that is well known to be a horrible investment is a bad idea...
O: You have to look at it TODAY not how it was THEN! Things change you know this!
Me:
O: That's only a few Oracle Database Enterprise licenses. Pocket change
Me:..and you want to wrap this up in the next Quarter.
O: Sooner the better, due diligence and all that.
Me: I'll submit my invoices straight away starting with this conversation.
O: CAPITAL! I knew we hired the right team!
Me: <looks around at the empty chairs only person in the room>
Wheel of Time: Book by Book and Sumview (summary review) Bigdady92 style: http://bigdady92.blogspot.com/
Maybe when the FTC gets hold of this merger, it'll be approved solely on the merits of "job creation." Let me explain...
I've had the full experience of working for companies that hired Accenture and the other large management consulting firms over my career. Over the course of working with people, you get to talking. Almost every single client facing employee they have on-shore is a recent college graduate. These firms are structured very much like other professional services firms -- you need to be in them from the beginning of your career (unless they're hiring you for a limited skill set they can't offshore or teach to a new grad.) The consultancies want to get new hires before they've had a chance to learn any other company's "bad habits." As a result, they need a constant pipeline of fresh new college graduates, which could be touted as "job creation."
My experience has been that Accenture and the like has a crack team of partners who bring in their A-Team senior consultants to sell the dream to executives. Once the contract is signed, the partners and the A-Team are replaced with a C-Team full of Joe/Jane Average clones. One of the other reasons they hire recent grads is the fact that all of them fly to client sites, then fly home on weekends, for most of the year. The on-site people are solely responsible for project managing, presenting PowerPoints, and collecting requirements. Any actual work that needs to be done is sent to India or other cheap "delivery centers." So, it makes sense -- you have a guaranteed employment sink for new grads with business degrees, and can point to it as "saving domestic jobs."
One thing that would be strange is how Oracle would manage them. A funny thing I've heard from multiple Accenture employees is that there's an actual indoctrination session before they send you in front of clients. Because they're just getting raw graduates, absolutely everything is taught, such as how to dress, what language to use in front of customers, and a mini-MBA school. (I think this is why you see so many young-ish people in identical dark suits hanging out in airport lounges loudly discussing synergies on conference calls.) This would be an interesting clash with Oracle's sales culture, but it makes sense. They would have a ready resource to sell right along with their ERP software -- and there would be zero incentive whatsoever for Oracle to make the software implementable by end users. (This is SAP's MO by the way, Oracle is just stealing it.)