Slashdot Mirror

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

EFF Issues April Fool's Day Newsletter (eff.org)

Posted by EditorDavid on from the defending-by-deriding dept.

An anonymous reader writes: There were some surprises in today's edition of the EFF's "EFFector" newsletter. Noting that it's their sqrt(-1)th issue, they report that the EU will protect the privacy of its data by building a 30-foot wall around the United States. "Only U.S. tech companies that comply with EU privacy restrictions and prohibit U.S. government access to their data will be given fiber optic grappling hooks to transport Europeans' data across the Atlantic, over the wall, and back to their U.S.-based servers."

The newsletter also reports that the bipartisan leaders of the U.S. House and Senate Intelligence Committees "apologized during a press conference this morning for failing to provide rigorous supervision of the intelligence community." And the newsletter also reports that Deadpool won an Oscar after PricewaterhouseCoopers mistakenly handed the presenters an envelope with a list of the most-frequently torrent-ed movie of 2016. But perhaps its most unexpected headline is "Comcast to Assimilate with the Borg."
The Borg said the deal would increase its market share, nationwide reach, and overall reputation for evil -- while Comcast claimed that the deal would boost competition.

21 comments

  1. One of these is true by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    they report that the EU will protect the privacy of its data by building a 30-foot wall around the United States.

    Mexico has agreed to chip in on this one with six burritos and a copy of El Chapulin Colorado on Blu-ray.

  2. FFE newsletter by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    EFF says the FFE newsletter is effen fake news. Eieio. Moo cow here moo cow there.

    Apps! Sppa!

    You fucking people.

  3. Re: Fuck April Fools Day by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    A new low to be sure... but still not as bad as CNN

  4. Meanwhile... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    in real news!

  5. This lines is truly hillary- ous! by Zero__Kelvin · · Score: 1

    All in all it was somewhat funny, but this line is frigging hilarious!:"Having been left off the list of Best Film nominees all together, Deadpool director Tim Miller and lead actor Ryan Reynolds were not in attendance at Sunday nightâ(TM)s Oscars, giving Kanye West time to take the stage and correct the mistake."

    --
    Guns don't kill people; Physics kills people! - John Lithgow as Dick Solomon on Third Rock From The Sun
    1. Re:This lines is truly hillary- ous! by doom · · Score: 1

      I got taken by that one for a minute, because i don't follow crap news, and I thought the EFF was a serious political organization, not a bunch of idiot teenager wannabes like slashdot. I know better now.

      April Fool's Day: they tell you it's about "having a sense of humor" and "being a good sport", but really it's an excellent custom for identifying news sources that should never be taken seriously, April or not.

    2. Re:This lines is truly hillary- ous! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      April Fool's Day: they tell you it's about "having a sense of
      humor" and "being a good sport", but really it's an excellent
      custom for identifying news sources that should never be taken
      seriously, April or not.

      Can't it be both? Many information sources dropped a few points in my estimation this time around. But one or two sources did demonstrate a good sense of humor without hurting their reputation. Stack Overflow's "Dance Dance Authentication" was my favorite this year.

  6. Re: Fuck April Fools Day by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I'm sorry you are tired and stupid :-( ... Or were you referring to a different obnoxious joke on Slashdot?

  7. Another beta fail??? by melting_clock · · Score: 1, Offtopic

    WTF has happened to slashdot??? It looks like another go at the beta site fail that the previous owners tried and that didn't work out too well for them.

    I liked being able to skim the summaries quickly to decide what I wanted to read. Clicking on titles to get summaries did not take long to piss me off.

    1. Re:Another beta fail??? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Agreed!!!!

    2. Re:Another beta fail??? by KiloByte · · Score: 1

      What's worse is clicking on the titles randomly taking you to http://slashdot.org/ instead of the article, with reloading being apparently the only recourse.

      --
      The creatures outside looked from Alt-Right to Antifa; but already it was impossible to say which was which.
    3. Re:Another beta fail??? by jenningsthecat · · Score: 1

      I liked being able to skim the summaries quickly to decide what I wanted to read. Clicking on titles to get summaries did not take long to piss me off.

      You're absolutely right - it's just too aggravating to click on every damned subject to see the summary. As soon as I saw that pain-in-the-ass 'collapsed by default' format, I was afraid they were doing it to make room for more advertising, and that we'd still be stuck with it after April Fool's was done and gone. Sometimes I hate being right. Worse, the clueless designers left it set up so that clicking on the number of comments still doesn't actually take you to the comments unless you've already clicked on the subject line to display TFS. So even if the subject line alone is interesting enough to warrant a look, I'm still two clicks away from both the summary and the comments. Fucktards.

      I might be willing to put up with it if the quality of stories and comments hadn't fallen so far; but given the general decline here, this extra bit of Beta-like aggro is enough to put me over the edge. If they haven't fixed it by a week tomorrow, then I'm done with Slashdot.

      --
      'The Economy' is a giant Ponzi scheme whose most pitiable suckers are the youngest among us and the yet-unborn.
  8. Unsolicited advice to editors by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Insightful

    You guys obviously like the tradition and get a kick out of it, so next year go back to the old format and run the best April Fool's jokes in the standard green format. There seems to be plenty of good ones out there.

    To me, it doesn't get old. Yeah, you're going to have to have a tough hide because there are a lot of no-lifers here who

    1. Have no sense of humor

    2. Aren't happy with their lives

    3. Feel they are entitled to whine about anything they don't like, even if they got it free and did no work

    4. Enjoy vowing to "leave for good" (but of course they don't)

    5. Voted for Trump

    6. Mod up others who think like they do

    How to get around it? Change the mod annotations for the day. 'Insightful' becomes 'Empowered', 'Informative' becomes 'Assertive', etc.

    1. Re:Unsolicited advice to editors by negRo_slim · · Score: 0

      Glad you got some politics there in your little screed there.

      ABS - Always Be Signaling

      --
      On the Oregon Cost born and raised, On the beach is where I spent most of my days
    2. Re:Unsolicited advice to editors by jenningsthecat · · Score: 0

      ... Yeah, you're going to have to have a tough hide because there are a lot of no-lifers here who ...

      That's an interesting post, with a few potentially worthwhile points among the insults and the assertions of 'facts' not in evidence. It's too bad you posted AC - it diminishes both your credibility, and the credibility of your argument. Then again, maybe you had no choice but to post AC - perhaps you're a paid Slashdot shill? Or even a Slashdot editor? I guess we'll never know...

      --
      'The Economy' is a giant Ponzi scheme whose most pitiable suckers are the youngest among us and the yet-unborn.
  9. Quite realistic by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    A wall will be built, but not to keep mexicans out...to keep Americans.

    Most of these draconian data laws are coming from US companies. Much easiet to figurateively place a wall around them then have the world just fork it all over.

    I expect thjat long term, that is precisely what will be happening. People, as they do, will find ways to replace all the shit that sells their freedoms to some US agency.

  10. Where is the fiction in this? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    EFF has no understanding of how to write an april fools joke.
    I can't find a single thing in this entire newsletter that is not almost certainly completely true down to the individual details.

  11. Re: Fuck April Fools Day by LVSlushdat · · Score: 1

    Ahh yes, CNN the "Contrieved News Network"....

    --
    THANK YOU, Edward Snowden!! Americans owe you a debt of gratitude (whether they know it or not..)
  12. Should choose strong cable for grappling hooks by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Fiber optic cables are actually rather weak as they are made from glass. They probably should use something stronger for attaching the grappling hooks.

  13. Props! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Props for the EFF showing a sense of humour!