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EFF Issues April Fool's Day Newsletter (eff.org)

Posted by EditorDavid on from the defending-by-deriding dept.

An anonymous reader writes: There were some surprises in today's edition of the EFF's "EFFector" newsletter. Noting that it's their sqrt(-1)th issue, they report that the EU will protect the privacy of its data by building a 30-foot wall around the United States. "Only U.S. tech companies that comply with EU privacy restrictions and prohibit U.S. government access to their data will be given fiber optic grappling hooks to transport Europeans' data across the Atlantic, over the wall, and back to their U.S.-based servers."

The newsletter also reports that the bipartisan leaders of the U.S. House and Senate Intelligence Committees "apologized during a press conference this morning for failing to provide rigorous supervision of the intelligence community." And the newsletter also reports that Deadpool won an Oscar after PricewaterhouseCoopers mistakenly handed the presenters an envelope with a list of the most-frequently torrent-ed movie of 2016. But perhaps its most unexpected headline is "Comcast to Assimilate with the Borg."
The Borg said the deal would increase its market share, nationwide reach, and overall reputation for evil -- while Comcast claimed that the deal would boost competition.

7 of 21 comments (clear)

  1. This lines is truly hillary- ous! by Zero__Kelvin · · Score: 1

    All in all it was somewhat funny, but this line is frigging hilarious!:"Having been left off the list of Best Film nominees all together, Deadpool director Tim Miller and lead actor Ryan Reynolds were not in attendance at Sunday nightâ(TM)s Oscars, giving Kanye West time to take the stage and correct the mistake."

    --
    Guns don't kill people; Physics kills people! - John Lithgow as Dick Solomon on Third Rock From The Sun
    1. Re:This lines is truly hillary- ous! by doom · · Score: 1

      I got taken by that one for a minute, because i don't follow crap news, and I thought the EFF was a serious political organization, not a bunch of idiot teenager wannabes like slashdot. I know better now.

      April Fool's Day: they tell you it's about "having a sense of humor" and "being a good sport", but really it's an excellent custom for identifying news sources that should never be taken seriously, April or not.

  2. Another beta fail??? by melting_clock · · Score: 1, Offtopic

    WTF has happened to slashdot??? It looks like another go at the beta site fail that the previous owners tried and that didn't work out too well for them.

    I liked being able to skim the summaries quickly to decide what I wanted to read. Clicking on titles to get summaries did not take long to piss me off.

    1. Re:Another beta fail??? by KiloByte · · Score: 1

      What's worse is clicking on the titles randomly taking you to http://slashdot.org/ instead of the article, with reloading being apparently the only recourse.

      --
      The creatures outside looked from Alt-Right to Antifa; but already it was impossible to say which was which.
    2. Re:Another beta fail??? by jenningsthecat · · Score: 1

      I liked being able to skim the summaries quickly to decide what I wanted to read. Clicking on titles to get summaries did not take long to piss me off.

      You're absolutely right - it's just too aggravating to click on every damned subject to see the summary. As soon as I saw that pain-in-the-ass 'collapsed by default' format, I was afraid they were doing it to make room for more advertising, and that we'd still be stuck with it after April Fool's was done and gone. Sometimes I hate being right. Worse, the clueless designers left it set up so that clicking on the number of comments still doesn't actually take you to the comments unless you've already clicked on the subject line to display TFS. So even if the subject line alone is interesting enough to warrant a look, I'm still two clicks away from both the summary and the comments. Fucktards.

      I might be willing to put up with it if the quality of stories and comments hadn't fallen so far; but given the general decline here, this extra bit of Beta-like aggro is enough to put me over the edge. If they haven't fixed it by a week tomorrow, then I'm done with Slashdot.

      --
      'The Economy' is a giant Ponzi scheme whose most pitiable suckers are the youngest among us and the yet-unborn.
  3. Unsolicited advice to editors by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Insightful

    You guys obviously like the tradition and get a kick out of it, so next year go back to the old format and run the best April Fool's jokes in the standard green format. There seems to be plenty of good ones out there.

    To me, it doesn't get old. Yeah, you're going to have to have a tough hide because there are a lot of no-lifers here who

    1. Have no sense of humor

    2. Aren't happy with their lives

    3. Feel they are entitled to whine about anything they don't like, even if they got it free and did no work

    4. Enjoy vowing to "leave for good" (but of course they don't)

    5. Voted for Trump

    6. Mod up others who think like they do

    How to get around it? Change the mod annotations for the day. 'Insightful' becomes 'Empowered', 'Informative' becomes 'Assertive', etc.

  4. Re: Fuck April Fools Day by LVSlushdat · · Score: 1

    Ahh yes, CNN the "Contrieved News Network"....

    --
    THANK YOU, Edward Snowden!! Americans owe you a debt of gratitude (whether they know it or not..)