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US Space Firms Tell Washington: China Will Take Over the Moon if You're Not Careful (yahoo.com)
The US space industry is prodding the US government into refreshing its outdated laws on commercial activity beyond earth: scare it with talk of Chinese galactic domination. A report adds: At a Senate hearing on the space industry this week, companies that build rockets and space habitats and manufacture electronic goods in space spoke about a standard laundry list of complaints, from regulatory burdens to fears of subsidized competitors. But their message was wrapped in patriotic concerns about China's growing capacity for space action. These companies are eager for the US government to allow and invest in commercial activities in orbit and around the moon. Many think the laws governing action in space, and particularly the UN Space Treaty, need refreshing for an age when private companies are close to matching the space capacity of sovereign nations. The last major change was a law on asteroid mining passed in 2015.
We must not allow a pork gap.
Yes, you probably have.
Turns out it wasn't a moon at all. Instead it was a fully armed and operational battle station that we all had to witness the full power of. We asked Chewie to lock in the auxiliary power but our Wookie friend just growled and howled back, grrwaarawhh.
Meanwhile, the "Senate" was actually under full control over and evil Sith Lord. The rebels were able to get a big ass tape cartridge in the world largest robotic tape silo thingy, align a fucking satellite, then upload the battle station plans and make just one copy to a circuit board floppy disk, but only to have a door open wide enough to hand the floppy to some other dude, where it could be uploaded into an service droid, --for hope.
Don't get too choked up on your aspirations though. All Jedi must die, everyone of them, so that they are the last or something. I may possibly have omitted maky crucial details, but that's the gist and you should be caught up now.
Haven't you seen the documentary called Iron Sky?
You say things that offend me and I can deal with it. Can you?
Lunar 1: Houston, we have a problem. The Chinese have landed their ship on the moon before us.
Houston: Don't worry, Lunar 1. We have things under control.
Lunar 1: Houston, this is getting serious! The Chinese are painting the entire surface of the moon bright red.
Houston: Don't worry Lunar 1. We know what we're doing.
Lunar 1: Houston, the Chinese lander has left the moon. Everyone can see its red now. What do we do?
Houston: Good. Now you can land.
Lunar 1: Okay, and then what?
Houston: Get out that white paint we gave.
Lunar 1: Okay, we were wondering what that was for. But we can't repaint the whole moon white; there isn't enough paint.
Houston: That's fine -- you only need enough to write the words 'Coca Cola'.