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Feeling Bad About Feeling Bad Can Make You Feel Worse (berkeley.edu)
An anonymous reader writes: Pressure to feel upbeat can make you feel downbeat, while embracing your darker moods can actually make you feel better in the long run, according to new UC Berkeley research. "We found that people who habitually accept their negative emotions experience fewer negative emotions, which adds up to better psychological health," said study senior author Iris Mauss, an associate professor of psychology at UC Berkeley. At this point, researchers can only speculate on why accepting your joyless emotions can defuse them, like dark clouds passing swiftly in front of the sun and out of sight. "Maybe if you have an accepting attitude toward negative emotions, you're not giving them as much attention," Mauss said. "And perhaps, if you're constantly judging your emotions, the negativity can pile up."
That's why I stay away from FB: It's impossible to be happy all the time... why is this even some kind of goal? Sad or dull moments make the happy ones more poignant.
love is just extroverted narcissism
and answer from the heart.
I've had a lot of personal horror in my life. Here's what I've found works for me:
I PRETEND to be happy and upbeat when I don't feel that way. And you know what? The act of my smiling and speaking a certain way actually *DOES* improve my overall mood. Hell -- just SMILING changes my mood -- even when there's nothing for me to smile about.
Just because there's a lot of crap in my life I wouldn't wish upon anyone doesn't mean I need to let it slip in to my interactions with a world that for the most part wouldn't give a rip -- or would care too much an attempt a level of intimacy I don't want from strangers or casual acquaintances or co-workers.