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The Booming Japanese Rent-a-Friend Business (theatlantic.com)
An anonymous reader shares a report on The Atlantic which talks about a growing business in Japan wherein you can pay an actor to impersonate your relative, spouse, coworker, or any kind of acquaintance. The reporter has interviewed Ishii Yuichi, CEO of a Family Romance, a company that rents such actors. Yuichi believes that Family Romance, and other companies that provide a similar service can help people cope with unbearable absences or perceived deficiencies in their lives. In an increasingly isolated and entitled society, the chief executive officer predicts the exponential growth of his business and others like it, as a la carte human interaction becomes the new norm. An exchange between Yuichi and the reporter, from the story: Morin: When was your first success?
Yuichi: I played a father for a 12-year-old with a single mother. The girl was bullied because she didn't have a dad, so the mother rented me. I've acted as the girl's father ever since. I am the only real father that she knows.
Morin: And this is ongoing?
Yuichi: Yes, I've been seeing her for eight years. She just graduated high school.
Morin: Does she understand that you're not her real father?
Yuichi: No, the mother hasn't told her.
Morin: How do you think she would feel if she discovered the truth?
Yuichi: I think she would be shocked. If the client never reveals the truth, I must continue the role indefinitely. If the daughter gets married, I have to act as a father in that wedding, and then I have to be the grandfather. So, I always ask every client, "Are you prepared to sustain this lie?" It's the most significant problem our company has.
Yuichi: I played a father for a 12-year-old with a single mother. The girl was bullied because she didn't have a dad, so the mother rented me. I've acted as the girl's father ever since. I am the only real father that she knows.
Morin: And this is ongoing?
Yuichi: Yes, I've been seeing her for eight years. She just graduated high school.
Morin: Does she understand that you're not her real father?
Yuichi: No, the mother hasn't told her.
Morin: How do you think she would feel if she discovered the truth?
Yuichi: I think she would be shocked. If the client never reveals the truth, I must continue the role indefinitely. If the daughter gets married, I have to act as a father in that wedding, and then I have to be the grandfather. So, I always ask every client, "Are you prepared to sustain this lie?" It's the most significant problem our company has.
I am always amazed, impressed, disgusted, disbelieving, aghast, saddened, at the level of the Japanese culture of repressing emotions, guilt, refusing to speak things plainly, and bottling things up.
Leads to some great things, admittedly, but also sometimes very saddening!
The mere existence of such a business is a strong indication for the need of some society-wide social engineering and an improvement in mental health care.
I'd pay to read good comments here.
it's always been a thing...
When I saw the headline, I was going to come here and post a joke about the "world's oldest profession". But after reading the summary/article, I'm really saddened. Every family has skeletons in their closets, but this deception goes right to the core of who we are as humans.
"Just as there is nothing so unreal as reality TV, there is nothing as unsocial as social media." - Alistair Dabbs
I live in Japan for 2 years. Great place, but there are some odd goings on, such as renting friends. One of the more interesting things in Japanese culture is the way in which they conduct business deals: they are all done in the evening over drinks in bars. This is referred to as "mizu shobai", literally the water trade. One wanders around the bars in or near the business districts of any Japanese city of size and men in business suits (salaryman) are out in vast numbers doing their bit.
Japanese don't see the world the way westerners do, obviously. They tend to see things in terms of being in a team than alone. There is no "I", "me", "mine" much in Japanese culture. They embody the teamwork ethic very well. It's a plus and a downfall for obvious reasons.
Japanese food is outstanding, their snacks and goodies fantastic. Their cartoons and manga are the best. Their electronics are fantastic. You'll see things in Japan and then they'll turn up 5 years later everywhere else.
Japanese smoke everywhere. This was not a problem for me, a smoker.
Taxis are clean, efficient, and relatively inexpensive.
It's fun going down the seaport areas where there are long, winding dock roads. Young Japanese low-riders (bosozuku) will attend in great numbers with their tricked-out cars and motorcycles. It's an odd mix of girls and guys who all look to be extras in a Blade Runner-esque movie.
Japanese women are friendly, but not easy sexual targets like western women. They like a bit of courting. Prostitution and hard core (full nudity) pornography are highly illegal and will get anyone time in the "monkey house" (prison). And yes, they take it deadly seriously. This stuff does exist, but it's treated akin to illegal drugs in America--it's kept largely out of sight, and damn harder to acquire should you roll that way.
A DUI, if you drive, will end your life as you know it. You'll spend years in prison. Fighting with a Japanese citizen will result in the same.
While not as strict as Singapore, the Japanese penal system isn't something with which you want to be acquainted.
All in all , a great country to live in or visit. I'm looking forward to going back.
...Just when I think we've reached the limits of how crazy fucked-up the Japanese can be, they show me I'm wrong.
On the other hand, they don't seem to be spending any time shooting people at music festivals, churches or schools every other week.
It must have been something you assimilated. . . .
The term in the sex trade I believe is "girlfriend experience". In addition to having sex with you the sex worker will also spend time pretending to love you. Since it's a higher level of service it naturally costs more.
I find the notion that something like that exists poignant. Although prostitution where it exists outside the protection of law is alarmingly exploitative, I have no fundamental objection to trading a few minutes of physical pleasure or relief for money. But creating a counterfeit experience smacks of an infantile retreat from the difficulties of genuine relationships.
In a world full of lonely people, the solution would seem to be obvious. But genuine intimacy requires risk and compromise. Compromise is increasingly a dirty word in our culture, but we fetishize risk, which is just another side of the same coin. A fetish isn't real; the kind of risk intimacy exposes you to *is* real. Nobody can disappoint, hurt or betray you like someone you love. But take away the danger, and what do you have left?
I don't have as much of a problem with playing a role where society conventionally expects someone to come with a date say, but I do have a huge problem with counterfeiting an important relationship, especially on a nonconsenting party: e.g., pretending to be a child's parent. And it comes down to the pain which only people you love can inflict on you.
Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
I'm no expert on Japanese culture, but the glimpses Westerners get to see are...quite interesting. Between this and robotic female companions going semi-mainstream, it seems like there may be a couple of social screws that need tightening. I wonder if selling human interactions, beyond the obvious oldest profession, will be a thing when people don't have manual labor to fall back on.
In my opinion, and it's just an opinion, this is what happens when you have a culture where high achievement is celebrated, but not everyone gets to participate fully. You're just expected to have an outward appearance of success, and I can imagine that can be hard for someone who really isn't meeting expectations. I've heard of this among Ivy League college students...they act like nothing fazes them even if they're struggling like mad to keep up with their peers. The ones who were the smartest kids in their high school get dropped into an environment where _everyone_ is either the smartest or most well-connected kid in their peer group.
I read about an interesting trait of Japanese society...that of lifetime employment. Apparently, large corporations only hire new graduates and if you miss out on it, you never get another chance because they do not hire experienced employees. Talk about having to keep up appearances...imagine not meshing with the crowd for whatever reason and ending up working in a convenience store the rest of your life even if you were an engineering student.
What happens when he has a scheduling conflict between two roles he has to play?
"When information is power, privacy is freedom" - Jah-Wren Ryel
Even though this is certainly an extreme example (at least for me, not sure in Japan), lack of attachment to others and fake appearances are surprisingly common in most of societies. Internet and the way in which things like "social" media have evolved is a good reflection of that reality. Lots of people are not interested in actually knowing others, but only in blindly following trends, getting temporary certainty via poor information about everyone, having a high number of likes, friends, references, showing that they are happy/sad/angry, etc. Similar ideas apply to the real-life routines of many people, who are so scared of really giving and getting something (and, consequently, potentially losing/being hurt) that prefer to be systematically involved in meaningless relationships with others.
Some people might consider me some kind of hermit since some time ago, a person not able to enjoy the small pleasures of life or others' companion. This isn't true. The reality is that I am only interested in getting involved in somehow meaningful relationships, but most of people are not. Should I join the big circus of hypocrisy, meaning-nothing conventions, playing-very-safe-and-as-instructed and lies to eventually find just one worthy person? No, thanks. I did that in the past and know where it ends: tolerating more lies, hypocrisy, in-case-of-doubt attacks, unreasonable prejudices, etc. From my current position, I don't see a big difference between this article and what happens almost everywhere: people living to show and to do/be scared/angry/happy/etc. as instructed by whatever trend or convention, rather than really having/enjoying/experiencing. I don't even find any of this sad anymore.
Custom Solvers 2.0 = Alvaro Carballo Garcia = varocarbas.
I'm pretty sure I've been doing some of these roles for free. Time to start charging.
Real gun control in Japan. I worked at a company that would have Japanese clients from time to time. One of their favorite requests was to go shooting at a range. We had an AE that spoke Japanese that would take them.
Wish we had that here. Could finally have a reason to step out of my mother's basement!
[the Japanese] don't seem to be spending any time shooting people at music festivals, churches or schools every other week.
I'm not sure if you are trolling but I think this is in fact a valid point, and it's one of the reasons why I and others are opposed to banning firearms.
I recommend a book called The Samurai, the Mountie, and the Cowboy which analyzes gun control and gun violence in Japan, Canada, and the USA. The conclusion of the book: gun misuse is overwhelmingly a cultural thing. Japan may have gun control laws, but it's not the laws that keeps gun violence low there, it's the culture.
I believe that even if the USA adopted the exact same laws that Japan has, gun violence in the USA wouldn't change very much. Changing the culture is much harder but also much more likely to have an effect.
BTW Japan has a whole lot of suicides. Someone who is really super upset there is more likely to kill himself rather than trying to kill a bunch of others.
P.S. Mass murder events do happen in Japan: http://time.com/4423216/mass-killings-japan-tsukui/
Japan doesn't have as many as the USA. Japan has a smaller population, so one would expect fewer events, but even after adjusting for population it's less. However, it's not zero.
lf(1): it's like ls(1) but sorts filenames by extension, tersely
Then you are a fool. As a canadian, I've been in physical encounters with people where they have drawn weapons. If I or they had a gun instead of a knife, things would have ended much worse for someone.
It is nearly impossible to get a legal handgun in canada. Most guns used in crimes are smuggled from the USA at extreme risk. And if you carry it around and someone sees that, you are going to jail.
Like it or not, if you want to change the culture of gun violence in the USA, you have to start by restricting gun sales. That means depriving people of owning guns that are not meant for hunting. All automatic weapons, all hand guns, and probably more types too (i am not an expert on guns, nor would i care to be). It means getting people to give up the "personal self defence" aspect of gun ownership. I doubt anyone has guns for that purpose in canada, simply because they are so restricted with how you can transport them and use them, any situation where you would need to have the gun "at the ready" for defence, simply wouldn't be possible.
So i would argue that you have no idea about canadian gun laws and how they are influencing society. The laws shape the culture. I'm not sure how you could possibly miss that fundamental point. When americans say that the government can't take away their guns, that statement is clearly part law and part culture. Change the laws and you would change the culture, for sure.
As a potential lottery winner, I totally support tax cuts for the wealthy
Then you are a fool. As a canadian, I've been in physical encounters with people where they have drawn weapons. If I or they had a gun instead of a knife, things would have ended much worse for someone.
Okay, here's a thought experiment for you. What if we took an area where it was not generally legal to carry a pistol, and changed the laws so that it became generally legal to carry a pistol? Would violence go up, go down, stay the same? By your argument, it should go up.
Well, the experiment has been tried, and violence was observed to go down.
https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2015/jul/14/murder-rates-drop-as-concealed-carry-permits-soar-/
Does this prove that legalizing concealed carry causes violent crime rates to drop? No, because correlation does not prove causation. However, if your argument were valid, concealed carry would cause an increase in violence, and this data clearly contradicts this proposition.
So, you were rude to me, and you offered your own opinion as if it were fact, and the facts don't agree with your opinion.
Most guns used in crimes are smuggled from the USA at extreme risk.
It's not legal to possess crack cocaine anywhere in the USA. Yet crack addicts buy it everywhere all the time. So I'm not sure what your point is... if your argument is that the laws in Canada keep criminals from getting firearms, could you please explain how the crack addicts get crack?
For that matter, since it's against the law to commit murder, why do murders still occur?
The laws shape the culture.
That's an interesting idea but I notice you didn't support it with any kind of references or statistics or anything. I'll grant that laws can exert some kind of influence on culture but I reject the idea that government has the power to directly shape culture, that if it could just pass the right laws human nature could change. I disagree with you on this point, but I won't insult you.
lf(1): it's like ls(1) but sorts filenames by extension, tersely