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Wired Publishes Fake Christmas Letter By Elon Musk (wired.com)

Posted by EditorDavid on from the seasons-greetings dept.

Wired's transportation editor just published what he's calling "Elon Musk's Christmas letter" touting the accomplishments of Musk's "family" of companies, "thanks to an anonymous tipster." (Though the story's photo caption suspiciously calls it "an absolutely real and totally not made up holiday message," and at the very bottom of the piece it's tagged as "satire" -- a word which also appears at the end of its URL.)

SpaceX (age 15) Man these companies grow up fast. SpaceX didn't just successfully launch its 12th resupply mission to the International Space Station this summer, it upped its ambitions with a pretty detailed plan for colonizing Mars. (OK, as long as it comes home for Thanksgiving and Christmas!) The scheme involves an Interplanetary Transport System the company calls the BFR, or Big Fucking Rocket (you wonder where they get their sense of humor!), which it will definitely have built in just five years.

Tesla (age 14) After promising to start deliveries of its affordable Model 3 sedan this summer, my little automaker went all the way to production hell to make it happen. And boy is the car a wonder, with its huge glass roof, innovative touchscreen interface (so long, dashboard), and all the acceleration you know to expect from Tesla. I'm sure the 400,000 people who have pre-ordered one will agree whenever they get theirs...!

OpenAI and Neuralink (ages 2, 1) I've always thought we should merge our brains with computers, and I'm so glad two of my youngest are dedicated to making it happen... Maybe it'll even find the time to help big brother Tesla with that AI chip it's making for Autopilot.

The Boring Company (age 1) Celebrated its first birthday this month...! Boring knows my views on public transit, and has reassured me these tunnels will be for fancy hyperloops and private cars on electric sleds, only...

So, my friends and fans, comrades and competitors, investors short and long, my best tidings. May your lives be as rich, electrifying, and ambitious as ours.
For its 13th resupply mission of the ISS on December 15th, (the real) SpaceX used a recycled rocket, and Friday (the real) Elon Musk jokingly tweeted a video of the weird trail left behind by SpaceX's latest rocket launch with the caption, "Nuclear alien UFO from North Korea." By late Saturday he'd posted an update. "Having a sinking feeling that most people actually do think it was aliens..."

"So strange that people often believe things inversely proportionate to the evidence."

32 comments

  1. Huh? by Rei · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Why is an uninteresting fake letter "news"?

    --
    "I can get my own men." "Yeah, you better go check your traps."
    1. Re: Huh? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It's much the same way your dull and idiotic posts still qualify as comments. Hope that helps.

    2. Re:Huh? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      why is this trite, uninteresting comment a "post"?

    3. Re:Huh? by JoshuaZ · · Score: 1

      I don't know, it seems strange, especially when there's so much actual news related to SpaceX, such as the recent government audit which found some pretty serious problems with their manufacturing and test protocols ( See article here https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2017-12-22/top-u-s-space-contractors-cited-for-lapses-by-pentagon-watchdog, actual report https://media.defense.gov/2017/Dec/22/2001860659/-1/-1/1/DODIG-2018-045_REDACTED.PDF). On a more positive note, SpaceX's Falcon Heavy is still on schedule, and we've now seen pictures of the fully-assembled Falcon Heavy https://www.space.com/39164-elon-musk-unveils-falcon-heavy-rocket-photos.html. But apparently, out of all the important things happening, a satirical letter is what is apparently what gets posted.

    4. Re: Huh? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      yea (no) bah humbug! (merry christmas)

    5. Re:Huh? by Rei · · Score: 2

      Interesting article, although the debris and animal feces were at an Aerojet facility, not SpaceX, according to the article. All three vendors, however, were faulted (SpaceX, ULA and Aerojet).

      --
      "I can get my own men." "Yeah, you better go check your traps."
    6. Re:Huh? by sheramil · · Score: 1

      It's a way of measuring the desperation of the Wired editors. In their latest clawing attempt to get attention and possibly advertising revenue, they're poking at Elon Musk to determine how far they can push him. Just like those assholes at work who keep playing increasingly violent practical jokes - yeah, we set fire to your head, ha ha ha ha, isn't that hilarious? Are you mad yet?

      I stopped paying serious attention to Wired when the paper version became less than one third its original weight after you ripped out all the advertisement pages.

    7. Re: Huh? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Now explain what a "magazine" is grandpa. We donut get it.

    8. Re:Huh? by rtb61 · · Score: 2

      Wired are shite, they really blew it when they back stabbed Manning for doing the right thing, just to get more attention, fucking scum. They should have been the ones stripped and abused, instead they just keep trying to appear 'cool' fucking lame asses. I can not look at wired without being reminded of Manning, not ever fucking loathsome scum, turned over the source for ad revenue.

      PS A merry Christmas to Manning, Assange and Snowden and all the best wishes in your futures.

      --
      Chaos - everything, everywhere, everywhen
    9. Re:Huh? by Euroranger · · Score: 1

      It's WIRED. There isn't a bigger bunch of smarmy, self-important douchebags anywhere than the editors and writers at WIRED.

    10. Re:Huh? by AmiMoJo · · Score: 1

      Musk fanboys I guess.

      Meanwhile, I recently found out that the Tesla Model S and X don't have spend sensitive volume control. Cheap cars had that 15 years ago.

      Full self diving got pushed back from this year to 2020 too. People who already paid for it a year ago and have a 5 year deal are screwed.

      Something is very wrong with Tesla's engineering department.

      --
      const int one = 65536; (Silvermoon, Texture.cs)
      SJW, n: "Someone I don't like, and by the way I'm a fuckwit" - AC
  2. Just as boring as most real Xmas letters by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    That is all.

  3. Defective! by nospam007 · · Score: 1

    " and at the vert bottom of the piece it's tagged as "satire" -- "

    Methinks their satire/irony/sarcasm detector is out of order again.

  4. maybe by JustNiz · · Score: 1

    you forgot the solar companies.

    As for the so-called "affordable" model 3 being "a wonder", that's quite a stretch.

    http://bgr.com/2017/11/13/tesl...
    https://www.cnbc.com/2017/11/0...
    https://seekingalpha.com/artic...
    https://www.cnbc.com/2017/11/1...

    1. Re:maybe by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      All Tesla’s suffer manufacturing defects.

    2. Re:maybe by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The defects alleged to be common in Tesla vehicles are common throughout the automotive industry. Some companies just ship with lots of defects and hope customers don't notice. Ever done intensive measurements on Dodge or Chrysler vehicles for fit and finish issues?

      Once you have spent months, if not years, of your life hunting for tiny 1/4mm gap differentials in headlamps (for example), looking over a Dodge makes you realize what a travesty those cars are, especially in the rear end of the car.

    3. Re:maybe by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Nope not even close Tesla faggot.

    4. Re:maybe by ScentCone · · Score: 1

      Is that the same as an apostrophe defect?

      --
      Don't disappoint your bird dog. Go to the range.
  5. Dear whipslash by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Please give us a Christmas present. Permanently ban APK. We will all be grateful.

  6. Whereas Trump's fake letter was entirely genuine! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Let's see, he claimed sole credit for defeating ISIS, the economy, healthcare reform, tax cuts, the budget, starting a war with North Korea, deporting illegal immigrants for the first time ever, solve a Rubrik's Cube, a hole in one, the Cubs winning the World Series, blowing up the Death Star, defeating Lord Voldemort, kidnapping the Lindbergh Baby, and re-uniting ABBA.

  7. Re: Whereas Trump's fake letter was entirely genui by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Uh NO.

    He is the Lindberg baby.

  8. FakeNews Wired is going bankrupt by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Wired has spent the last two years spewing progressive crap rather than focusing on tech.

    Conde Nast, the owner of Wired, is on the verge of bankruptcy.

    Adios, muchachos!

  9. Because the Musk-rat paid for advertising. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Because the Musk-rat paid for advertising.

  10. We are Legion by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I am proud, proud citizen of the fruitful and glorious kingdom of the Nertherland; soon to be holders and protectors of a global hegemony the likes never seen before. Our mighty ships, our mighty crews, they will set fire to the lands beyond. A fire no mortal can put out. Such is the power of the powerful nationstate "Holland": Saviours of the Just, protectors of the Golden Child.

  11. Dear unidentifiable ac butthurt snowflake by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    It's your fault attacking me & failing that I utterly totally ANNIHILATED "your kind" in this thread https://science.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=11523935&threshold=-1&commentsort=0&mode=thread&pid=55800707/

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    APK

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    So - thanks for the Christmas day laugh @ YOUR KIND "crying" like bitches - it's TRULY 'classic & priceless', RoTfLmAo @ U... apk

  12. My X-mas present to whipslash (LMAO) by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

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  13. Don't be afraid of AI's... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

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    1. Re: Don't be afraid of AI's... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

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