Slashdot Mirror


Resuming Its Annual PR Mission, NORAD Tracks Santa Claus (cnn.com)

An anonymous reader quotes CNN: The U.S. military command that is charged with protecting the airspace for North America is on alert this Christmas weekend for a man with a white beard and a red suit. The North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) is tracking a sleigh and eight tiny reindeer around the world as it heads for U.S. airspace Sunday night. The public can access NORAD's official Santa Tracker to watch Santa Claus' voyage... [NOTE: The site will request access to your physical location before revealing Santa's whereabouts...]

The public can also call 1-877-HI-NORAD (1-877-446-6723) and speak live with NORAD trackers. People stuck in the car on the way to Grandmother's house, and with an OnStar subscription, can access the tracker by hitting their OnStar button... Marine Col. Bob Brodie of the 601st Air Operations Center said fighter jets will "fly along (Santa's) wing" in a "close escort," and that the center will "monitor him with our satellites and even have infrared trackers to follow Rudolph."

CNN reports NORAD first began tracking Santa in 1955 when a Sears ad misprinted the telephone number for children to call for updates on Mr. Claus's progress. "On December 24, 1955, Air Force Col. Harry Shoup was on duty, and instead of hanging up on countless children that night, Shoup checked the radar and updated the eager children on jolly old Saint Nick's location." But Gizmodo reports a different origin story: that one child had simply dialed the number incorrectly (in November), and weeks later that gave NORAD the idea for "one of the most successful military PR campaigns of the last century."

This year fifteen of the children's calls to NORAD were remotely answered by President Trump and first lady Melania.

82 comments

  1. Santa is a distraction by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Santa is a distraction from the real reason for Christmas. Kids should be focused on the birth of Jesus Christ, who is the Son of God. None of the other stuff like receiving presenrs matters in the least. I'll pray for all of the atheists here that you will start believing in Jesus Christ and be saved. Jesus is truly the Son of God. Most historians believe the Bible is true, which is why it's the most studied book in history. I'll pray for all of you to have a joyful Christmas. But I'll especially pray for atheists to start believing in Jesus and for children to not be distracted from Jesus by presents. Merry Christmas!

    1. Re:Santa is a distraction by Z80a · · Score: 1, Offtopic

      His words are more important than his existence.

    2. Re: Santa is a distraction by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

      Happy jeebus day to you too, buddy! I canâ(TM)t wait to drink his blood and eat his body at midnight tonight!

    3. Re:Santa is a distraction by Motard · · Score: 1, Interesting

      Absolutely. They should be thinking about these things. Like why Jesus was born on the same day as Mithras. And how the Christ Mass falls on the same day as the feast of Sol Invictus.

      The presents are just a distraction.

    4. Re:Santa is a distraction by Tablizer · · Score: 1, Offtopic

      Most historians believe the Bible is true

      Hold on, Tex. Most historians agree it was influenced by actual events, but that's not the same as being 100% accurate.

    5. Re: Santa is a distraction by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      They might as well shut it down now. Any fucking traitors who so easily allow themselves to go offline before a massive false flag have no trust from me.

    6. Re: Santa is a distraction by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      And Jesus is just a distraction from Ahura Mazda, you freakin' new age heathen!

    7. Re:Santa is a distraction by RobotRunAmok · · Score: 1, Insightful

      We do teach them why the Church decided to celebrate Christmas on Mithras' birthday, and honor St. Mary on May Day, Candlemas on Imbolc, and celebrate All Saints' Day on the day after Halloween. It was part of our Embrace-Extend-Destroy strategy. See people celebrate a pagan feastday, put a Christian overlay atop it, gradually shift focus to the Christian deity and demi-deities, wait a couple of centuries, and Poof! All the pagans and witches are polishing crystals in New Age bookstores struggling to make ends meet, and The Church has become a multi-billion dollar enterprise.

      We think about these things way more than you give us credit for...

    8. Re:Santa is a distraction by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      why do you religious folk always have to try and bring God into what is a consumerist commercial orgy?

    9. Re:Santa is a distraction by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The thing is his "words" were written by humans. All of the holy books, rituals, and codes of behavior in support of their chosen religion were created by humans. Throughout history religion has been the cause of more blood and misery than other reason.
      Religion is used to keep the masses at each others throats in the ME. Religion helped kick off wars that have lasted over 2000 years. And those in power know how to wield religion to manipulate the masses.

      If you do believe in God your Faith is all that matters. Religion is the anti-theses of Faith. Following man made religious rules and regulations are hardly necessary if you do have Faith.

      If "He" does exist I am pretty sure he considers humans a failed experiment and moved on to try again some where else.

    10. Re:Santa is a distraction by DerekLyons · · Score: 1, Insightful

      Most historians believe the Bible is true, which is why it's the most studied book in history.

      [[Citation needed]]

    11. Re: Santa is a distraction by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Not to mention the 25th is the festival of Saturnalia. The timeline in the bible conclusively demonstrates Jesus being born in May.

    12. Re:Santa is a distraction by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Informative

      Well, if it wasn't for Ceasar Constantine merging all the Roman religions at the Council of Nicaea (325 AD), then us atheists would still have been able to celebrate Yule and Saturnalia in peace, without meddlesome Christians and their Mithra myth co-opting it.

    13. Re:Santa is a distraction by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Save yourself first you self-righteous prick.

    14. Re:Santa is a distraction by Z80a · · Score: 2

      This is why the words (at least the good ones) are more important than the existence of a god or not.
      If you start to bicker about "who's right", well, you end up with bloodshed, even when the words of your god tell you to not.

  2. Re:Are Santa mall dudes pedophiles? by Motard · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Because not everyone's brain works the way yours does?

  3. Thanks for nothing, CNN... by Yaztromo · · Score: 4, Insightful

    The U.S. military command that is charged with protecting the airspace for North America

    That should be US and Canadian military command. You'd have a pretty hard time protecting all of North America without Canada's vigilance in the North, you know.

    Yaz

    1. Re: Thanks for nothing, CNN... by Thundercat007 · · Score: 1

      Yep considering its stationed in North Bay, Ontario Canada by Canadian soliders. Somehow has become Yankee military according to CNN lol

    2. Re:Thanks for nothing, CNN... by ClickOnThis · · Score: 1

      Another fun fact re Canada: it unofficially and humbly claims to have the mailing address of old St. Nick:

      Santa Claus
      The North Pole
      H0H 0H0

      (The postal code has a nice ring, doesn't it?)

      --
      If it weren't for deadlines, nothing would be late.
    3. Re: Thanks for nothing, CNN... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Um, what? NORAD is based in Colorado.

      https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_American_Aerospace_Defense_Command

    4. Re:Thanks for nothing, CNN... by scottrocket · · Score: 3, Funny

      Another fun fact: Santa freezes time on December 1st, and he and his helpers - all being immortal - take their sweet time making the toys for Hasbro, Nintendo, etc. They then unfreeze time on December 2nd, kick back with whiskey, refreeze time on December 24th, and then take their sweet time breaking into your house, delivering presents, and touching your stuff and you. A fair bargain for free gifts, and no contrivances of relativity needed. Merry Santamas!!

    5. Re:Thanks for nothing, CNN... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I know it's called Norad, but Canada is definitely not ;)

    6. Re:Thanks for nothing, CNN... by PopeRatzo · · Score: 1

      That should be US and Canadian military command. You'd have a pretty hard time protecting all of North America without Canada's vigilance in the North, you know.

      You can see from this photo that Canadian military command means business:

      http://mypullzone.orangepopmed...

      --
      You are welcome on my lawn.
    7. Re: Thanks for nothing, CNN... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      A shit storm is uh brewing.

    8. Re:Thanks for nothing, CNN... by DNS-and-BIND · · Score: 1

      Canada has a military? Why? I thought Canadians were peaceful people who never invaded anyone, and the Americans were the brutal killers who crushed the globe under their feet. Since Canada is a vassal state of America and does not need to fear invasion, why does Canada even have a military in the first place? Follow Europe's example, disband the military to pay for a welfare state - and then, in a delicious irony, criticize the shit out of the Americans for providing their free defense.

      --
      Shutting down free speech with violence isn't fighting fascism. It IS fascism!
  4. Kimmie: 1, Santa: 0 by Tablizer · · Score: 2, Funny

    Breaking News: North Korea just shot Santa down with a missile.

    1. Re:Kimmie: 1, Santa: 0 by ClickOnThis · · Score: 3, Funny

      Talk about a War on Christmas...

      You're a mean one, Mr. Kim
      You really are a grump
      You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick Donald Trump, Mr. Kim ...
      Given a choice between the two of you, I'd take the ... the ... uh ...
      Can I get back to you?

      --
      If it weren't for deadlines, nothing would be late.
    2. Re:Kimmie: 1, Santa: 0 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      more breaking news: supreme leader's guidance systems have greatly improved.

  5. The story of the birth of Jesus Christ by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Informative

    A reading from the Holy Gospel according to Luke:

    And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed. (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.) And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David) to be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn. And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And one of the shepherds spoke to the others, why are you afraid? And the shepherd said, science can explain this, it is not an angel, there is no God. And as soon as the shepherd finished those words, he was smitten by the Almighty God. And the shepherds trembled at the sight of this. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us. And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.

    The Gospel of the Lord.

    1. Re:The story of the birth of Jesus Christ by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I love Jesus.

    2. Re:The story of the birth of Jesus Christ by ClickOnThis · · Score: 1

      And one of the shepherds spoke to the others, why are you afraid? And the shepherd said, science can explain this, it is not an angel, there is no God. And as soon as the shepherd finished those words, he was smitten by the Almighty God. And the shepherds trembled at the sight of this.

      Where did this come from? That's not in Luke.

      --
      If it weren't for deadlines, nothing would be late.
    3. Re:The story of the birth of Jesus Christ by skam240 · · Score: 1

      It came from an idiot who obviously believes that God doesn't want us to use our brains to figure out the universe

      --
      I ignore Anonymous Coward posts. If you want to discuss something, that's awesome. Log in.
    4. Re:The story of the birth of Jesus Christ by sysrammer · · Score: 1

      Nice Easter egg.

      --
      His ignorance covered the whole earth like a blanket, and there was hardly a hole in it anywhere. - Mark Twain
    5. Re:The story of the birth of Jesus Christ by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Nice Easter egg.

      Nice irony.

  6. Keep him safe by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Please keep jolly old St. Nick safe from Nork warheads.

  7. hopefully we can shoot him down this year. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Santa and the North Pole Organization pose a greater threat than any other country or group.

  8. How it really goes down - NORAD vs Santa by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
  9. Re:Are Santa mall dudes pedophiles? by Baron_Yam · · Score: 2

    I suspect in many cases because they'd otherwise be unemployed and it's a paying gig.

    In others, it's people who like kids - which is a perfectly natural and socially beneficial thing except in the rare case of pedophiles where it's sexual.

    Actual pedos? They're not hiding behind every corner you know, and pedophile does not equal stupid. You think they're going to seek out momentary non-sexual contact under the gaze of parents? The pedos want to be coaches and priests.

  10. Really, that's what he's doing? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    This year fifteen of the children's calls to NORAD were remotely answered by President Trump and first lady Melania.

    Granted, I do think Trump has a toddler's mindset, but if we're going to let him deal with a bunch of whiny brats, why isn't he talking to Congress instead?

    1. Re:Really, that's what he's doing? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Insightful

      What you say: "Granted, I do think Trump has a toddler's mindset, but..."

      What I hear: "Granted, I have mentally replaced the actual Trump with a propagandistic fabrication designed to feed my smug sense of superiority (at the cost of surrendering all ability to understand or predict objective reality), but..."

    2. Re: Really, that's what he's doing? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Really? Given the petulant tone of his tweets, his fondness for puerile insults, and his obsession with payback for the slightest perceived affront, the phrase "toddler's mindset" doesn't seem like too much of a stretch.

    3. Re: Really, that's what he's doing? by Hal_Porter · · Score: 2

      Isn't it a bit toddlerish to insult someone constantly and then say "OMG YOU ARE SUCH A TODDLER FOR RESPONDING!"?

      --
      echo -e 'global _start\n _start:\n mov eax, 2\n int 80h\n jmp _start' > a.asm; nasm a.asm -f elf; ld a.o -o a;
    4. Re: Really, that's what he's doing? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Let's see... there's the Reagan option which got us amnesty, 3 million illegals turned into faux citizens plus their chain migration 30 million uneducated families and no immigration control as promised.

      Or Bush who was very gentlemanly and "Presidential" who got smeared on a daily basis and never fought back.

      Or Obama, "you can keep your doctor" who funded Muslim terrorists to the tune of billions of dollars, putting Saudi funding to shame.

      Or Trump, who is actually doing/trying to do what he said he would do when running for office. Oh yeah, he also tweets some funny shit a few times a week that enrages his political enemies and heartens his allies.

      In order of success:
      1) trump
      2) Reagan
      3) bush (despite fucking up the post gulf war)
      4) Obama (who carter is thankful for taking his spot as worst president ever)

      I didn't vote for trump but now thay he's been there almost a year I wish I had and I definitely will net time.

    5. Re: Really, that's what he's doing? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Kind sir, if you truly think that Trump's behavior is the fault of everyone else around him, then I fear you have inserted your head into a very dark place.

    6. Re: Really, that's what he's doing? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      There will be no net time. Trump and pai killed net neutrality ;)

  11. FreeBSD's final Christmas by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Outside this frigid tumble-down shack, dry leaves before the wild
    winter hurricane fly. Here within, at the corner by the cold hearth
    rests an empty stool. A crutch without a master stands perched against
    the wall. These forlorn and lonely objects serve as mute reminders of
    their departed owner, FreeBSD.

    This crutch and vacant stool have become orphans, not unlike
    the now dead FreeBSD. No longer will FreeBSD hobble about on its cripple's
    crutch. Like the empty hearth, and the vacant stool, FreeBSD lies cold and
    still. FreeBSD's corpse, lifeless beneath frozen earth and December snows,
    will see no more Christmas cheer. No, there will be no Christmas ever
    again for FreeBSD, for FreeBSD is dead.

    Goodbye, FreeBSD. The pain of life forever stilled, sleep for
    all eternity in that long winter's nap. Fade gently into Earth's frozen
    bosom where in dreams even cripples walk and blind men see.

  12. booby prize by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    What kid, wanting to know where Santa is, would want to talk to Mr or Mrs Trump instead? Talk about a booby prize!

    1. Re:booby prize by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Well the year before they got Michelle Obama... sooo...

      Peace out.

  13. Close support? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    How about not militarising everything?

    1. Re:Close support? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      How 'bout Uncle Sam rousting you out of bed Christmas day and transporting you to Gitmo for a few years? Yeah, that'll work.

  14. And with an update for the times ... by Krishnoid · · Score: 1

    Santa's progress through cyberspace for all those electronic gift certificates and digital music purchases is being tracked in real-time by the NSA:

    Dear Santa,

    Hope you and Mrs. Claus are doing well. Please also send my regards to the elves, and you may want to check in a bit on Sugarplum Mary. Some of her recent communications have been a little on the down side, but I may have already said too much.

    Thank you for the additional data center you brought our data services division last year. This year, all I want is for my extended family to hate me a little less and not spit on me so much when we get together for the holidays, if it's not too much to ask.

    Thanks,
    J. Michael McConnell
    Director of National Intelligence, NSA

  15. To the children ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    Do not militarize the Merry Christmas!!!

  16. has trump declared him a hk missile by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    shot him down then invaded yet?

  17. How /. reported on this story pre-Trump by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
  18. Re:Are Santa mall dudes pedophiles? by sjames · · Score: 1

    Lonley widowers who don't get to spend nearly enough time with the grand kids?

  19. Jesus is the reason for the season! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    God bless y'all!

  20. Re:The night before Goatse by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    You forgot about the link to explain the background to newcomers.

  21. Re: Da night afo’ Crizzmus by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    Wus da night afo’ Crizzmus, and all thru da hood,
    everybody be sleepin’ and da sleepin’ be good.
    We hunged up our stockins, an hoped like all heck,
    dat Obama gunna brang us our checks.

    All of da family, was layin’ on da flo’,
    my sister wif her gurlfriend, my brother wif some snow ho.
    Ashtrays was all full, empty beer cans and all
    when I heared such a fuss, I thunk.”Sh’eet, must be da law”.

    I pulled the sheet off da window and what I’ze could see,
    I was spectin’ the sherrif, wif a warrent fo’ me.
    But what did I see, made me say, “Lawd look ‘a dat!”
    Dere was a huge watermelon, pulled by eight big-ass rats.

    Now ovah da years, Santy Claws he be white,
    but it looks like us brotha’s, got a black un’ tonight.
    Faster than a poe’lice car, my homeboy he came,
    and whupped up on dem rats, as he called dem by name.

    On Biden, On Jessie, On Pelosi and Hillary Who,
    On Fannie, On Freddie, On Ayers, and Slick Willy too.
    Obama landed dat melon, right there in da street,
    I knowed it fo’ sho’, - can you believe that Sheet?

    Dat Santy didn’t need no chimley, he picked da lock on my do’,
    an I sez to myself, “Son o’ bitch..he don did dis befo!”
    He had a big bag, full of presents - at first I suspeck?
    Wif “Air Jordans” and fake gold, to wear roun’ my neck.

    But he left me no presents, just started stealin my shit.
    He got my guns and my crack, and my new burglers kit.
    Den, wif my sh*t in his bag, out da windo’ he flew,
    I sho’ woulda shanked him, but he snagged my blade too!

    He jumped back on dat melon, wif out even a hitch,
    and waz gone in two seconds, da democrat sonofabitch.
    So nex year I be hopin’, a white Santy we git,
    ’cause a black Santy Claws, just ain’t worf a shit!

  22. santa claus by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    the real reason is classified. I recommend you view the film: "Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale."

  23. Malicious Website by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Too much malicious javascript.

  24. Re:The night before Goatse by Hal_Porter · · Score: 1

    This is magnificent.

    --
    echo -e 'global _start\n _start:\n mov eax, 2\n int 80h\n jmp _start' > a.asm; nasm a.asm -f elf; ld a.o -o a;
  25. Fear this by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I am proud, proud citizen of the fruitful and glorious kingdom of the Nertherland; soon to be holders and protectors of a global hegemony the likes never seen before. Our mighty ships, our mighty crews, they will set fire to the lands beyond. A fire no mortal can put out. Such is the power of the powerful nationstate "Holland": Saviours of the Just, protectors of the Golden Child.

  26. Re:How it really goes down - NZ Police vs Santa by twosat · · Score: 1
  27. They didn't seem to track the hijacked 9/11 planes by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    It seems like they didn't have the time, or worse, the acumen, to track the passenger aircraft used in the September 11th, 2001 bombing.

    And now they brag about tracking non-existent mixed-up folk myths? Some nerve those people have.

  28. Your tax dollars at work by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    How does a pagan tradition end up supported by Christians, distracting from the actual point of Christmas, with our tax money and defense department while claiming they're being attacked?

  29. Re:Are Santa mall dudes pedophiles? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Because not everyone's brain works ....

  30. German Police arrested a bearded guy in Hamburg by prefec2 · · Score: 1

    http://www.der-postillon.com/2... (German)
    Translation (by google, I was lazy)
    Hamburg (dpo) - Is the DHL million extortionist finally caught? The Hamburg police today arrested an elderly bearded man carrying thousands of suspicious parcels in a sled. To be on the safe side, the entire sled was blown up by specialists following an evacuation of the environment.
    According to police, the suspect had penetrated the airspace over Hamburg on Sunday morning with a flying sled. In the subsequent landing in front of a block of flats, he was stopped by a large contingent of police and at the last second overwhelmed, before he could throw several suspicious packages with suspicious packaging in a chimney.
    "Apparently, the man was about to commit a series of attacks," said a spokesman for the Hamburg police. "At the moment he is being interrogated, so we can not give any information on his motives at the moment."
    Various media speculate now, whether it is the man to the DHL extortionist, which has caused several times in recent weeks, a stir. Sources within the Hamburg police report that the suspect has so far answered corresponding questions only with a scornful laugh ("Ho! Ho! Ho!").
    Also curious: At his arrest, the shaggy senior was accompanied by nine reindeer. Since the animals had no papers at all and the introduction of diseases could not be excluded, they were now euthanized.

  31. Re:Are Santa mall dudes pedophiles? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Of course... and all men are to be automatically be considered sex offenders nomatter the age, gender or species! Its in the DNA!

  32. coolstory bro. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    moar p'eez

  33. Is this consensual? by Tijaska · · Score: 1

    Does NORAD have Santa's permission to track his movements? Or is this yet another unsanctioned invasion of personal privacy by a government body?

  34. I approve the toddler's mindset message by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Trump achieves, in tone more than in substance, the mindset of a 2 year old demanding attention.

    I am an adult and know how to deal with 2 year olds. We need to do the same with the Big Giant Orange Head.