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Researchers Are Developing An Algorithm That Makes Smartphones Child-Proof (technologyreview.com)

An anonymous reader quotes a report from MIT Technology Review: Researchers at the University of South Carolina and China's Zhejiang University have created an algorithm that can spot whether your kid is accidentally trying to, say, order from Amazon without your knowing. There are already plenty of activity-monitoring apps that aim to control what kids do on phones, but parents need to add them and turn them on, and they could be disabled by tech-savvy children. The researchers figured that automated age-range detection would make it easier for parents to hand their phones over to curious children without worrying that the kids will stumble upon an inappropriate website or get into a work e-mail account.

The researchers built a simple app and asked a group of kids between the ages of three and 11 -- and a group of adults between 22 and 60 -- to use it. The app had participants unlock an Android phone and then play a numbers-based game on it, so that the researchers could record a variety of taps and swipes. They also tracked things like the amount of pressure applied by a user's finger and the area it encompassed. The researchers used the resulting data to train an age-detecting algorithm that they say is 84 percent accurate with just one swipe on the screen -- a figure that goes up to 97 percent after eight swipes.

67 comments

  1. Parents should parent by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    This^

    1. Re:Parents should parent by bulled · · Score: 0

      Says the anon troll who will never have its own kids...

    2. Re: Parents should parent by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I've developed a better app tool than this. It works on the system level and measures the amount of moisture on the screen to tell apart kids and adults. It is accurate up to 85% but requires further tweaking as it works well in distinguishing a kid's drool but also picks up old farts and reddit users.

    3. Re:Parents should parent by Hetero · · Score: 1

      Meh, reminds me of the time I bought a "rodent-proof" trashcan to keep the rats out of my goat food.

      I came back a few days later to feed the goats and found rats had chewed right through the thin sheet metal. Go figure. One thing I learned from Jurassic Park is "life will find a way."

    4. Re: Parents should parent by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      ^ someone who has an iPad parent his kid

    5. Re:Parents should parent by slashrio · · Score: 1

      Or you shouldn't have bought a 'made-in-China' trashcan, but a more robust one.

      --
      "Trump!!", the new Godwin.
    6. Re:Parents should parent by Visarga · · Score: 1

      I tried to use time limiting apps for my kids cell phones. The phones got hacked. Now I require the phone and computer keyboard every night at 10, and give them back next day. Just so they have time to wash and sleep. I think the cell phone is like a drug and an unlimited cell phone in the hand of a child could be a disaster.

    7. Re:Parents should parent by nonBORG · · Score: 1, Informative

      The interesting thing about the Jurassic park quote is that people quote it like Jurassic park is real. Wake up, the dinosaurs are extinct! Life did not find a way.

      --
      You can't handle the truth! - Because I don't post left all my comments get modded down, bye bye Karma.
  2. It's called by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    A whipping!

    1. Re:It's called by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You'll just end up with a kid whose more rebellious and learns to hide behavior you don't approve of better. Actually you'll probably be doing your kid a favor- whip away I guess? Christ- I was never a bad kid- got "good enough" grades- never hurt anyone- didn't smoke-drink-or do drugs- but I was certainly violating every rule when it came to watching porn, having sex, and watching violent content. At 11 I was bypassing new (to me) restrictions on rentals at blockbuster and figuring out how to bypass every filter I came across outside of my home (online, school computers).

      Parents knew they had no hope of censoring me online. Just wasn't going to happen. Even when my mom essentially tried to ensure I couldn't get on the computer I just bought a new keyboard and several months after that my own computer. She caught on to the fact the keyboard trick wasn't actually working eventually.

      And a few years after that a laptop. These weren't cheap in the mid to late 1990s either. But the reality was I wasn't stupid and was flush with cash. I was so flush with cash I was very careful not to let on just how much I was spending. I was renting and buying many DVDs every week starting around 1998, had all sorts of toys- from DVD players to computers and was constantly upgrading and replacing parts. I'd just tell my mom I sold my old computer parts which I actually was doing. What she didn't know was I also was buying parts to replace it that were significantly more expensive/faster/newer/etc.

    2. Re: It's called by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I agree, all children need their stupid asses kicked regularly. Without it there will be more retarded american millennials.

  3. NOTHING is child proof by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Might as well accept this simple reality of our Universe. Whatever this "child proof" algorithm is, children will circumvent it in ten minutes and then go on about their business of emptying your credit card and ruining your life.

    1. Re:NOTHING is child proof by lister+king+of+smeg · · Score: 2

      Might as well accept this simple reality of our Universe. Whatever this "child proof" algorithm is, children will circumvent it in ten minutes and then go on about their business of emptying your credit card and ruining your life.

      How about simply ask for a pin or password when trying to buy or order? And parents not tell it to the childeren. Lock the ordering feature for ten or twenty minutes after five failed attempts. no fancy age detection algorithm needed. Strong passwords keep out adults so they should keep out the childeren.

      --
      ---Saying gnome 3 is better than windows 8 not so much a compliment as it is damning with light praise.
    2. Re:NOTHING is child proof by scottrocket · · Score: 1

      Might as well accept this simple reality of our Universe. Whatever this "child proof" algorithm is, children will circumvent it in ten minutes and then go on about their business of emptying your credit card and ruining your life.

      Rubber thimble on the finger, press a little harder. Spend the other ten minutes figuring out the numbers game.

    3. Re:NOTHING is child proof by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I have a 20-month-old who has an Amazon Fire 8 for Kids tablet. I was unsure at first that she'd be able to use it. After just a month and no more demonstration than showing her how to turn it on and touch things, she is completely independent in using it. She constantly finds new games and figures out how to play them with zero help. I can understand figuring out how to play videos, but how she is figuring out what to do on all of the instructional games with such ease is a bit puzzling.

      I can imagine that an algorithm could easily detect the crazy ways she uses any surface of any finger, though mostly the side of the tip of her littlest finger, to touch things. But, I also imagine that if that wasn't working, she'd really quickly figure out what does.

    4. Re:NOTHING is child proof by RightwingNutjob · · Score: 0

      If that's true, you're a horrible parent and your child will grow up incapable of deferring gratification or paying attention to anything for more than a minute or two at a time. Children that age should play with blocks and toy cars and dolls alongside other children, not with Narcissus’s mirror.

    5. Re:NOTHING is child proof by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Love your handle. So appropriate.

      Children today should be preparing for the world they will enter in a couple of decades, not yesterday. It is important to raise an adult, not a child. Raising children is what has gotten us to where we are today with children at home in their 30s.

      My child is under two and is already starting to spell words with magnetic letters and counting to ten. She also really likes to disassemble things. She does build things with legos every day, and I have her participate in home repairs all of the time.

      But, she also plays with blocks, drawing, letters, numbers, etc. on a tablet - with speed and intuition that is astonishing. She has gravitated away from videos on her own. She'd rather do things. This is the equivalent to writing on paper in our time. She has just gone paperless. Her generation of engineers is going to be really scary.

      I never said she was unmonitored. She has two full-time, at-home parents. But, I don't help unless it is needed. Mostly, I just watch in awe at how fast she develops and remove the barriers to it.

      Given the opportunity to explore and unlimited materials to do so, children don't have to be taught. Most have a natural curiosity that is much more satisfied by doing things than playing. They will always choose to do when not limited.

    6. Re: NOTHING is child proof by sonamchauhan · · Score: 1

      Just be careful with the eye impact of LCD screens, especially at such a young age. Google it. I think that what's being implied by the guy who replied earlier.

    7. Re: NOTHING is child proof by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      No, you raise a valid point, but the guy replying earlier was a Luddite whackjob who does not live in this century.

  4. Same as trying to make things idiot proof by bobstreo · · Score: 1

    Except some of the children will be more than clever enough to re-flash the phones with their own preferred ROMs.

    If they're not old enough or responsible enough to understand their parents expectations of correct behavior when using a phone, then maybe they should have a dumb flip phone with no web browser or apps.

    Teaching children expectations and consequences is a basic parental responsibility...

    1. Re:Same as trying to make things idiot proof by mark-t · · Score: 2

      Except some of the children will be more than clever enough to re-flash the phones with their own preferred ROMs.

      And if they do that, they get told off.... everything gets reset back to the parent spec, which means possibly completely resetting the device back to factory defaultsa and then reinstalling all applicable parental controls, and if the kid is ever caught doing it again, they lose it.

      Entirely.

      Permanently.

    2. Re:Same as trying to make things idiot proof by BlueStrat · · Score: 2

      Except some of the children will be more than clever enough to re-flash the phones with their own preferred ROMs.

      The headline of TFA made me chuckle.

      "Child proof."

      Yeah, right. Hell, I remember *myself* as a kid...I'd have toys and stuff taken apart before we even got the stuff home, as I wanted to see what made it work, and could I make it do something other/cool? My father (a grizzled ww2 combat vet infantry sergeant) used to swear up and down that if the Second Coming arrived, "..that damned boy would have Jesus apart in 5 minutes!"

      Kids these days with tech? Forget about *that* noise! Many adults I know have their kids setting the parent's devices up and configuring stuff for them, instead of the reverse! You'll have the adults locked out long before you reach a level (if it even exists) that would prevent kids from getting in.

      If the US TLAs were smart, they'd simply employ roomfuls of 6 to 12 year old kids as their elite "cyber-warrior hackers". There would be no system safe from them anywhere.

      Strat

      --
      Progressivism (aka US 'Liberalism'): Ideas so good they need a police/surveillance-state to enforce.
    3. Re:Same as trying to make things idiot proof by vux984 · · Score: 4, Insightful

      "Except some of the children will be more than clever enough to re-flash the phones with their own preferred ROMs."

      A yes, if some gifted young prodigy can defeat it then its totally worthless even f it works really in practice against the overwhelming majority of toddlers to pre-teens.

      "Teaching children expectations and consequences is a basic parental responsibility..."

      So is keeping the power tools and razer blades out of reach of toddlers.

      Parenting is this whole range of things, where you combine teaching, while controlling the environment, while letting them explore, while monitoring the situation, while letting them get hurt, while protecting them from getting hurt too badly. And yes, those goals can directly conflict with each other. That's the point.

    4. Re:Same as trying to make things idiot proof by tsa · · Score: 1

      I read in the newspaper about the Dutch Secret Service hacking Cosy Bear. One of the people involved said that he would love to be able to hire 15 year olds for that kind of work, but the law prevents him.

      --

      -- Cheers!

    5. Re:Same as trying to make things idiot proof by Visarga · · Score: 1

      Too bad I don't have mod points for you.

    6. Re:Same as trying to make things idiot proof by Chas · · Score: 1

      Exactly.

      Talking about making something "childproof" is like talking about making something "idiot proof".

      It's a nice little fantasy.

      But, where the rubber hits the road, it's a pipe dream. Because, to out-think an idiot, you have to BE an idiot. And even then, nothing's guaranteed.

      I'm not saying "don't try".

      But realize that there are finite limits to what can be accomplished without totally compromising usability.

      The only things truly childproof or idiot-proof are things they simply don't have physical access to.

      Period.

      --


      Chas - The one, the only.
      THANK GOD!!!
    7. Re:Same as trying to make things idiot proof by ET3D · · Score: 1

      Yes, it's exactly the same as trying to make things idiot proof. Idiots, and most children, do bad things accidentally, or through lack of understanding of the implications.

      Sure, kids can deliberately do things against their parents' wishes, but that's not the usual case. It can be terribly easy for kids to buy stuff without understanding that they did, and if something prevented them from doing it, that would be helpful.

    8. Re:Same as trying to make things idiot proof by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Except some of the children will be more than clever enough to re-flash the phones with their own preferred ROMs.

      If a 3-7 y/o is able to do that I don't mind

  5. what about ios being more like google? with no pas by Joe_Dragon · · Score: 1

    what about ios being more like google? with no password and no payment system needed for FREE APPS.

  6. This could lead to a safer world by Applehu+Akbar · · Score: 4, Funny

    So if someone called from even a high-end residence in DC and said, "I wanna big parade like the one I saw on TV!" or "I wanna send my green army men to North Korea!" the phone would know to ignore it?

    1. Re:This could lead to a safer world by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You managed to get Obama right in the first post.

      Or were you doing Clinton or GWB? I get my warmongers confused.

    2. Re:This could lead to a safer world by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      OP was talking about your mom.

    3. Re:This could lead to a safer world by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You managed to get Obama right in the first post.

      Nope. Someone may want to compensate for having, er, "tiny hands" but it's not Barack

  7. How about a drunk proof option? by Dzimas · · Score: 1

    Seriously, forget the kids. I'm more interested in the phone figuring out that I'm looped and stopping me from drunk texting. Or drunk shopping. Or drunk anything.

    1. Re:How about a drunk proof option? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What if you simply stopped drinking ?

    2. Re:How about a drunk proof option? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      How about you stop drinking?

    3. Re:How about a drunk proof option? by rmdingler · · Score: 1

      Seriously, forget the kids. I'm more interested in the phone figuring out that I'm looped and stopping me from drunk texting. Or drunk shopping. Or drunk anything.

      I don't know. I rather like receiving a package I've forgotten ordering. It's like a surprise gift from someone who really understands what I like.

      --
      Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.

      Ernest Hemingway

    4. Re:How about a drunk proof option? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What if you simply continued drinking ?

    5. Re:How about a drunk proof option? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Why would you ever do that?

  8. Uh-huh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Sure they are, and sure it will. /s

    When will engineers realize that what is relevant to the tiny bubble they reside in may not be so for the world large, and that no amount of 'data' or 'research' will remedy that (sorry, both lie about reality)? Yet another ridiculous instance of hyperbole. What would genuinely benefit these valley 'tards is actually leaving and seeking to legitimately listen to someone *else* for once, prefersbly over 40 years of age. Hubris, ignorance, cashing in - it's the 21st century technophile way. They had some bad, baaaad teachers and role models, and their ability to think critically is a bad baaaad joke.

    1. Re:Uh-huh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      legitimately listen to someone *else* for once, prefersbly over 40 years of age.

      Boohoo, I'm old and no one listens to me anymore.

      Probably because I've got nothing of value to add to a conversation. Because I'm a fossil who can't accept changes in technology and society, and as a result I'm more isolated and irrelevant than ever.

      They had some bad, baaaad teachers and role models, and their ability to think critically is a bad baaaad joke.

      You're going there? OK, we'll go there. Since the older generation supplied the teachers and the role models, this makes any problems fundamentally your fault. Congratulations, you played yourself.

  9. I am going to be locked out... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Just wait and see, my 14 year old will train it to lock me out of his phone...and my wife's phone...and my phone.

  10. for the child-like by sheramil · · Score: 1

    How does the algorithm do with drunk people? Can it tell the difference between them and children?

    1. Re:for the child-like by jenningsthecat · · Score: 1

      How does the algorithm do with drunk people? Can it tell the difference between them and children?

      I was wondering about something similar, but my thoughts turned to those with Parkinson's, MS, nerve damage, or any of the probably dozens of other physical conditions which might make a responsible adult seem like a child to this latest algorithm du jour. Tech "developers" need to Just. Fucking. STOP! with all the excessively-clever-yet-pointless-and-inconvenient minor "improvements" to everything that has or might have a GUI. Go INVENT something fer chrissake, instead of doing the technological equivalent of figuring out how to determine the number of angels dancing on the head of a pin!

      --
      'The Economy' is a giant Ponzi scheme whose most pitiable suckers are the youngest among us and the yet-unborn.
    2. Re:for the child-like by tsa · · Score: 1

      Inventing things is hard.

      --

      -- Cheers!

  11. Child but not Teen proof. by fahrbot-bot · · Score: 3, Informative

    The researchers built a simple app and asked a group of kids between the ages of three and 11 -- and a group of adults between 22 and 60 -- to use it.

    Noting they skipped everyone age 12 - 21.

    --
    It must have been something you assimilated. . . .
    1. Re:Child but not Teen proof. by RightwingNutjob · · Score: 1

      Would you leave your teen alone with a credit card? With the keys to the liquor cabinet? With your gun?

      No? Then why give them a device with your financial and/or email credentials stored on it?

    2. Re:Child but not Teen proof. by mentil · · Score: 1

      I think the premise is that anyone 12-21 would be savvy enough to bypass it.

      --
      Corruption is convincing someone that the selfless ideal is the same as their selfish ideal.
    3. Re:Child but not Teen proof. by fahrbot-bot · · Score: 1

      I think the premise is that anyone 12-21 would be savvy enough to bypass it.

      Or fail to allow access when it should. Either way, won't know unless it's been tested.
      (Perhaps they did test that group and it lowered their "accuracy" stats so they omitted the results. /cynical)

      --
      It must have been something you assimilated. . . .
  12. My bet is on the by oldgraybeard · · Score: 1

    Kids to bust this ;) lol My wife gave her phone to our 2 year grand son, to play with a screen touch color app. Next thing she found out he had gotten in to some pet store game thing the wife was playing with and was purchasing additional pet stock ;) lol

    She was credited back for the purchases but did need to rethink things ;) lol

    Just my 2 cents ;)

  13. Won't work: parents are stupid by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    As an adult looking back I realize how stupid and foolish and just wrong this kind of thing is. I was never the smartest tool in the shed and I never had any problems getting around authoritarian bull shit like this.

    Humorously in my younger years neither my parents nor anybody seemed to care about censoring young people. I went to R rated movies before I was 11 without incident. I had a movie theater near me. It wasn't until I was up in the Boston area that I'd ever been stopped and I was like "wtf". It seems they started pushing censorship hard in the mid 1990s because both my mom and others I noticed started hassling me about certain entertainment content. I know there were ratings before this- but they weren't being enforced where I grew up in New Jersey until the mid 1990s. Even then the movie theater never enforced anything near me.

    In 1996 I was about 11 and my mom told me for what was probably the first time ever that I couldn't rent some PG-13 movie. I take that back. She wouldn't rent the movie chuckie when I was like 4. Other than that though never was an issue what I wanted to rent/watch. We got into a war over it. She put a 'lock' on my Blockbuster account, but it didn't work. I would just pretend to be my older brother. They kept upping the war though and Blockbuster started putting a notice on every screen whenever someone would rent and they flagged the account... so it half-worked. Problem is it took my mom a long time to figure out the restrictions on the account didn't work. Then as a quick one time solution to the problem I just bought the movie they wouldn't rent me. That was expensive so I went online to rent my movies after that. I also started buying used movies on eBay around this time period. Never again did I have an issue renting or buying whatever movies I wanted. There are these things called money orders, prepaid debit cards (I think those came later), actual debit cards (I actually had a few by probably 12-13), one of which was linked to a PayPal account and the other an actual checking account. I was actually doing better financially at 11 than when I graduated college because I had half a brain and was bringing in money through various means. Both online and offline.

    Another time when I was 11 my mom had this idea I was spending too much time in front of the computer so she started withholding the keyboard from me. She literally took the keyboard with her to work and so I couldn't get on until after she was home later in the evening. Didn't really work. I bought a new keyboard. I actually bought a computer using my own money and built it from pieces that year.

    There never was any censorship filters on our internet connection or computer. Good thing too because I was hugely into porn at 11. I guess it wouldn't really have mattered. The filters wouldn't have worked anyway. I had Linux installed on one system and there was no way my parents would have comprehended enough about computers to realize it was even on the family computer. The boot loader was on a floppy disk even. I was also smart enough to understand what encryption was and use it. lol Not that I needed it really. Then there was also the issue of internet access. Even if my parents had somehow managed to lock windows down to the point I couldn't do anything with it which just wasn't going to happen I still had access to the internet via free dial-up providers of the day and via Linux and via a school dial-up account. There was just no keeping me offline. Maybe if my parents weren't employed they'd have had some chance- but even then I'm doubtful. I had a cell phone by high school, digital organizers, and PDAs. I would have ultimately had some level of internet access without there knowledge and outside of any realistic ability for them to control me. If it wasn't so expensive back then I probably would have had cellular internet access on my phone or dial-up over cellular. It would have been a heck of a hindrance- but unlikely to have stopped me.

  14. What about by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    What about child proof chainsaw? Or child proof meat grinder? Or child proof rocket launcher?

    cap: rampage

  15. The end of presidential tweeting as we know it by mnemotronic · · Score: 1

    Anything like this that restricts phone access would pretty much put an end to the presidential tweetstorming. That's unacceptable. It's the one thing he knows how to do well. Let Trump Tweet!!

    --
    The Russians have won. They have made the world a cesspool of distrust, greed, fear and hate.
  16. What about the handicapped/ by Ungrounded+Lightning · · Score: 1

    So how does this identify adults with physical disabilities? Same question for people who have recovered from a stroke?

    If it systematically identifies such as children and restricts their access there could be a big ADA action if it's ever deployed.

    Meanwhile: 16% error rate for a single swipe? With, say, three hundred million users that's 48 million people misidentified. Even with the eight-swipe error rate of 3% you're still talking nine million people.

    That's if it's consistent, though. If it's per-trial noise you get to annoy a lot more people, while the kids can get through just by trying over and over.

    --
    Bantam Dominique roosters crow a four-note song. Once you've heard it as "Happy BIRTHday" you can't NOT hear it that way
    1. Re:What about the handicapped/ by RockDoctor · · Score: 1

      Same question for people who have recovered from a stroke?

      Or those who haven't recovered from a stroke? (Mum hasn't had a stroke for nearly 5 years, but is only slowly regaining mental function and speech. She'll probably die before she learns how to handle a phone. Landline, or mobile.

      --
      Birds are not dinosaur descendants;birds are dinosaurs, for all useful meanings of "birds", "are" and "dinosaurs"
    2. Re:What about the handicapped/ by Ungrounded+Lightning · · Score: 1

      Same question for people who have recovered from a stroke?

      Or those who haven't recovered from a stroke?

      Yes (and sympathy for your Mum). I used "recovered from a stroke" to refer to just such residual partial impairments.

      --
      Bantam Dominique roosters crow a four-note song. Once you've heard it as "Happy BIRTHday" you can't NOT hear it that way
  17. best bundled by clangerbanger · · Score: 1

    with that useful app that makes the phone waterproof. needed when the brats bypass that gimmick, and promptly get punished with a dose of waterboarding for not obeying in the first place. moronic parent's censorship by proxy beats good parenting any day ...

  18. Age or Hand Size? by mentil · · Score: 1

    I wonder if the data is simply correlating to hand size. Since adolescents were excluded there's a pretty stark difference between the hand size of children and adults. However, an Asian woman's hands might be substantially smaller than a European man's... so I wonder how it'll account for that. Maybe there'll be a calibration where the owner does the test so the app knows the owner's hand size; will be fun when a European man has an Asian wife who wants to use his phone.

    --
    Corruption is convincing someone that the selfless ideal is the same as their selfish ideal.
  19. It gonna be a helluva *KILLA APP* by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Imagine you are injured

    Blood dripping

    Hand shaking

    Fingers fumbling

    You pick up the phone, trying desperately to get help

    But that app blocks you, repeatedly

    Just because, to the app, you are a little kid playing with mommy's smartphone

    It may end up be your personal killer app !

  20. Re:what about ios being more like google? with no by Actually,+I+do+RTFA · · Score: 1

    You mean the apps that just spy on you and show ads to you? Yeah, I wanna review which of those apps my kids load too.

    --
    Your ad here. Ask me how!
  21. Good enough for me Re:Child but not Teen proof. by ET3D · · Score: 1

    Though probably won't be in a couple of years. :)

    Anyway, solving half the problem is better than solving none. If one can prevent kids up to 11 from accessing things they shouldn't and buying things by mistake, that's pretty good.

  22. Go ahead, lock yourself out LOL by TheRealHocusLocus · · Score: 1

    When we all become tired or upset or are under stress, we become childlike in many ways. So by all means -- in one of your most hyper-lucid moments parental helicoptery concern fests... go ahead and lock down the high technology you use every day, and might need to use urgently and quickly in a true emergency when you're not at your best.

    THINK OF IT AS EVOLUTION IN ACTION
    [grabs popcorn]
    "911"
    "I'm sorry Davie, I can't do that, and if you try again I'll tell Mom."
    "He's not breathing 911 oh fuck"
    "Your mommy says you should not swear"

    --
    <blink>down the rabbit hole</blink>
  23. Birds (and certain reptiles?) by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Would like to strongly disagree.

    The way was to evolve, adapt and diverge.

  24. child proof = American proof! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Everything that will be child proof, will be American proof, and not child proof.

    Because the "average American" was bred to be a complete and total retard.
    Just look at that they consider "too complicated" to expect from them.

  25. Lol, like you could tell. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    You are assuming they ate so retarded that they are not aware of this and make it so you cannot tell.

    Assuming you can tell at all in the first place, of course.

    1. Re:Lol, like you could tell. by mark-t · · Score: 1

      No... I'm just assuming that the parent is actually has a clue, and not so self-absorbed that they won't pay enough attention to their kid(s) to recognize the patterns that would indicate such activity.

      Perhaps that's a pretty tall assumption, however.

  26. Really, what the fuck ... by RockDoctor · · Score: 1

    ... are kids doing with a smart phone at all, let alone someone else's smart phone? The whole basic premise is insane.

    --
    Birds are not dinosaur descendants;birds are dinosaurs, for all useful meanings of "birds", "are" and "dinosaurs"