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The Secret to Disconnecting? Bring Back the 'Away' Message (wsj.com)

Posted by msmash on from the best-of-AIM dept.

An anonymous reader shares a report: Over the last year, gadget and software makers have developed ways for users to better manage their relationship with technology. They make it easier to ignore notifications or quiet all but the most important stuff. But even the latest mobile OS updates don't address the entire problem. In this always-on era, we are assumed to be near our phones all the time, and there is no good way to signal to the world when we are not. There is no way to proclaim, "I'm not available, I won't see your notification, and I won't care until next Sunday." The solution isn't complicated. In fact, it has been around since the '90s. It is called an "away" message, and we need it now more than ever.

Most people's first experience with an away message came on AOL Instant Messenger. Those were the days before mobile, when you could only be online while sitting at the computer -- probably a wheezing beige colossus running Windows 95. Rather than log off every time you had to run to the store, AIM allowed you to change a small icon next to your name from green, which signified you were online and available, to red, which meant you were temporarily indisposed. [...] Away messages helped users understand why their buddies weren't responding. More important, away messages offered permission to actually go away. If someone needed you urgently, they would try another route, but mostly they would leave you alone. You weren't ignoring them on purpose; you were just gone.

115 comments

  1. Funny, just not answering the phone.... by cayenne8 · · Score: 5, Insightful
    ....seems to give most folks I know the subtle impression that I"m not available....

    Am I the only one that screens?

    Am I the only person in the world that doesn't feel obligated to not only NOT answer every text and call as it comes in (if I'm otherwise occupied) immediately if at all?

    Are that many people so hooked, that they can't put it down and leave it alone for hours at a time at least?

    --
    Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........
    1. Re:Funny, just not answering the phone.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      the big problem is that social media stupidly put in a feature that lets the sender know you've seen their message.

      so when you call someone and they don't answer, you don't know if they screened your call if they are just in the shower.

      in the asshole world of social media, you know they screened you.

    2. Re:Funny, just not answering the phone.... by sconeu · · Score: 1

      A buddy called me last night to meet for coffee.... Had my phone on silent and in the other room, and I was busy anyways.

      He called SIX F***ING TIMES!!! Then he called my GF to see if I was all right...

      --
      General Relativity: Space-time tells matter where to go; Matter tells space-time what shape to be.
    3. Re:Funny, just not answering the phone.... by nnet · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Time for new buddies :)

    4. Re:Funny, just not answering the phone.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Making and taking phone calls? What am I, from the Palaeolithic era? Nobody I know makes phone calls these days unless it's for work.

    5. Re:Funny, just not answering the phone.... by xxxJonBoyxxx · · Score: 5, Funny

      >> Then he called my GF to see if I was all right.

      No, he was calling to hook up because he had pretty good evidence that you were out of touch.

    6. Re:Funny, just not answering the phone.... by ZorinLynx · · Score: 1

      He might have genuinely been worried.

      I have friends who respond so reliably that if they were to not respond for a couple hours I might actually genuinely worry they got into a car accident or were otherwise not okay. I'd probably not call-spam them into oblivion, though.

    7. Re:Funny, just not answering the phone.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      This is why I don't own a phone.
      It's not that they can't be useful. It's how other people's perceptions change when you get one.
      Once you have one you are expected to be reachable on a someone else's schedule as opposed to your own.

    8. Re:Funny, just not answering the phone.... by sconeu · · Score: 1

      He was.... but I don't always answer my phone, either.

      --
      General Relativity: Space-time tells matter where to go; Matter tells space-time what shape to be.
    9. Re:Funny, just not answering the phone.... by Oligonicella · · Score: 1

      And I should awaken at 2AM screaming with angst why? Or, if *they* do, I should *care* why?

    10. Re:Funny, just not answering the phone.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Cayenne is an INCEL chapter leader so it's pretty much everybody screening the poor ugly nazi.

    11. Re:Funny, just not answering the phone.... by rnturn · · Score: 1

      Everyone knows you have a cellphone so they'll call you anyway. I can set up a do-not-disturb period on my phone but Android has a pretty crappy method of managing who can get through that filter; if I include anyone from work in my contact list, they'll get through. I don't much want to turn it off as I could miss a call from the kids or wife. Any many/most phones don't have a go-to-voice-mail-w/o-ringing option so you're interrupted by the damned thing anyway. If it's going to ring 5-6 times before going to voice mail, I might as well answer the bastard and get it over with.

      As for email... There was once a bit of advice I ran across (quite a while ago) that recommended avoiding becoming a slave to one's Inbox by letting people know that you handled your email using the "Dr. Pepper" method. This was based on an old version of their logo that used to appear on their soda bottles and had the numbers "10", "2", and "4" on it. The idea was that you'd only check your email at 10:00AM, 2:00PM, and 4:00PM. If memory serves, you dealt with new messages in the morning, replied back to the "important" ones at 2PM and handled anything else that needed your input at 4PM. Unfortunately, now that we've allowed around-the-clock access to the boss and our co-workers, that scheme would likely not get much acceptance any more. Worth a try, though I wouldn't mention the whole Dr. Pepper thing any more.

      Convincing your co-workers that you don't want to constantly be interupted by phone/email is the biggest problem. I had a co-worker who'd need something done which she'd send via email, If I didn't reply within about 10 minutes, she'd call and leave a voice mail. Ten minutes later, she'd page me. If I didn't call back immediately from the page, she show up at my desk and, seeing as how she worked about ten floors away from me in the building, she had to have started on her way to my desk pretty much as soon as she sent the page. And all this would occur within about 30 minutes or so of the initial request. Mind you, this was for a normal request. If it was something important, usually along the lines of "I carelessly deleted a file, please drop everything you're doing and wait on me", she'd compress that whole sequence of events to about a 10 minute window and escalate it to my boss to boot. Made you want to adopt a real BOFH attitude.

      --
      CUR ALLOC 20195.....5804M
    12. Re:Funny, just not answering the phone.... by mikael · · Score: 1

      For me, it's "None of your goddamned business whether I'm at my computer or not, idle or not idle, playing whatever game or starting to surf the web (thanks startup pages), or the last website I visited (thanks web-page referral links), or whether I'm doing software development (thanks 3rd party applications that require you to log in."

      --
      Vintage computer adverts: http://www.vintageadbrowser.com/computers-and-software-ads
    13. Re:Funny, just not answering the phone.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What the hell man. Are you sure he doesn't think the two of you are in a relationship? That's some psycho bunny boiling shit right there.

    14. Re:Funny, just not answering the phone.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Something I miss is a BUSY SIGNAL.

      When I'm talking on the phone I don't want to be interrupted. Instead I get a never ending beep in my ear. Even worse, my last phone beeped to the other party, too, which was just fucking great during a conference call *. Of course, it's usually my wife and she won't give up until I answer.

      * But not as bad as that one asshole who puts his phone on hold during a conference call, so 50 people get to listen to his company's on-hold music for the rest of the call.

    15. Re:Funny, just not answering the phone.... by xxxJonBoyxxx · · Score: 1

      >> friends who respond so reliably that if they were to not respond for a couple hours I might actually genuinely worry they got into a car accident

      Are "helicopter friends" now a thing? This is a little creepy. Your friends are grown men and women, right?

    16. Re:Funny, just not answering the phone.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I had a co-worker who'd need something done which she'd send via email, If I didn't reply within about 10 minutes, she'd call and leave a voice mail. Ten minutes later, she'd page me. If I didn't call back immediately from the page, she show up at my desk...

      Quit bragging about how unusually considerate your coworkers are.

      I have my T-bird set to check for mail "only" every 10 minutes. 10 minutes is a very long time to some people, so at least once a week I have someone walk up to my desk and say "did you get that email I sent?" and I say "I don't know" or 'probably" because I don't have the notification icon yet.

      This is the point where there's a battle of the wills, where they want me to open T-bird but I want them to walk away.

      I usually lose, because if I don't open the email while they're standing there, then they'll start telling me verbally what it's about.

    17. Re:Funny, just not answering the phone.... by grep+-v+'.*'+* · · Score: 1

      Bring Back the 'Away' Message -- not answering the phone

      I was going to mention that. My cell phone insists on ringing during a call, temporarily interrupting it. That's a "call alert" or some such nonsense. I can disable it by dialing a prefix Every Single Time I call out but doesn't disable on answering a call.

      I called the company (Verizon) about disabling this feature. "It's just a feature added into my phone's feature-set. No extra charge." "Can I get it removed?" No, but it's a free feature." "Can I *PAY* for it to be removed?" "No, we can't do that."

      If there's a busy signal, there's a pretty good chance I'm busy on the phone. Imagine that! If it rings and rings, there's a good chance I'm not at home. Or maybe in the bathroom, or maybe out of earshot, or maybe I've got laryngitis. Where did all of this "online, every time, all of the time" thing COME from, anyway? I'm NOT online all of the time, and even if I were I'm doing something. If I'm not talking to you, then I'm doing something else -- surprise! Leave me a message / email / SMS and I'll get back to you.

      Obligitory XKCD.

      --
      If the universe is someone's simulation -- does that mean the stars are just stuck pixels?
    18. Re:Funny, just not answering the phone.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      One night my phone kept making so much noise that I turned it off. It was wonderful. I do it all the time now.

    19. Re:Funny, just not answering the phone.... by Immerman · · Score: 1

      I like a nice unobtrusive, easy-to-ignore default ring tone for just that reason - if you're not in my contact list, or I just didn't decide you're worth interrupting my life for, I'll know there's a call coming in, and unless I'm bored you can leave a message if it's important. Friends and family get a different ring tone, since the odds are good that I'd like to talk to them. And my boss and office manager get their own, since they're unlikely to call unless it's important (not necessarily to me, but they pay for the privilege of my attention).

      --
      --- Most topics have many sides worth arguing, allow me to take one opposite you.
    20. Re:Funny, just not answering the phone.... by ColaMan · · Score: 1

      Android has a pretty crappy method of managing who can get through that filter; if I include anyone from work in my contact list, they'll get through.

      With an Android phone, in the "do not disturb" section in settings, you can set it so that the "Favourites" group is the only group that will ring through do-not-disturb. That's the group of people that you've starred in your contacts and they're the ones that show up first in your contacts list, above the normal alphabetical order.

      Put your family and important people into that group, leave work as a normal contact.

      --

      You are in a twisty maze of processor lines, all alike.
      There is a lot of hype here.
    21. Re:Funny, just not answering the phone.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      " Am I the only one that screens?

      Am I the only person in the world that doesn't feel obligated to not only NOT answer every text and call as it comes in (if I'm otherwise occupied) immediately if at all?"

      Maybe if you can keep your mind from wondering what they are calling you about (no one leaves voicemails anymore..). Personally i check personal email and phone once a day or less. Work stays at work. But it takes some willpower to do that. And if you have any narcissistic or external validation tendencies then forget it.

      I used to work on call so I am somewhat allergic to phones now, so its not too hard for me to turn off.

    22. Re:Funny, just not answering the phone.... by dromgodis · · Score: 1

      I get a version of this, but without the email reference. He often comes to my desk and just continues the conversation that he started in an email or Slack message that he sent just before getting up from his chair about 10 m away. Our encounters often start with a sensation of a blown short-term memory.

    23. Re:Funny, just not answering the phone.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I only know this level of commitment from nagging parents and stalking exes.
      I don't feel compelled to answer the phone at all, except for a very small group of close friends who I know will only call when it's urgent or they need someone to talk to. For everybody else, phone calls require prior appointment i.e. I need to know what it's about and why messaging/email is not an option. Calling without appointment is rude, and I will just assume it's a butt call and not answer or call back. Calls from people not in my addressbook are blocked automatically.
      Text messages are asynchronous by nature, so there is no reasonable assumption that the recipient will reply anytime soon. When I get a text message on Signal, I can read the message in the notification without sending the Read flag. Marking a message as Read means that I intend to reply or act on it.
      As for TFA, away messages, like any kind of autoreplies, are a pest. Offline/Away/DND status is a different beast. Every messaging network should allow users to set their availability status.

    24. Re:Funny, just not answering the phone.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Yeah they do. But, just like with not being at your beck and call, they don't tell you. That or they just don't want to deal with *speaking* with you.

    25. Re:Funny, just not answering the phone.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Social networks did this not social media.

  2. First! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    First post

  3. older solution than vacation setting by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    There is no way to proclaim, "I'm not available, I won't see your notification, and I won't care until next Sunday." The solution isn't complicated. In fact, it has been around since the '90s

    There's an older solution that I think might be better. Lack of response. Black hole. Just don't answer.

    You usually don't have a reasonable expectation that the other person will respond right away. They might get back to you right away, but it also might be days or weeks or never. This is normal.

    You wouldn't freak out if someone didn't reply to you right away, would you? That is how you know someone else isn't going to freak out if you don't pick up your phone, either. Just fucking relax.

  4. Skype for Business by DigiShaman · · Score: 4, Insightful

    So i'm required to be logged in via Skype for Business via our Office 365 account. But, it does have a nifty "Busy" and "Do Not Disturb" setting.

    My boss was like "why are you always in those modes". To which I reply, "Oh, I can multi-task, but don't fret over any mistakes I might introduce"

    You can have quality or availability, but not both. If you need both, pay for more employees.

    Cheaper, Better, Faster. You can only pick two.

    --
    Life is not for the lazy.
    1. Re:Skype for Business by 93+Escort+Wagon · · Score: 1

      You can have quality or availability, but not both. If you need both, pay for more employees.

      We just got a new administrator who does not get this - at all. She even got angry when I tried to explain the concept to her.

      Time to update the ol’ resume...

      --
      #DeleteChrome
    2. Re:Skype for Business by mlw4428 · · Score: 1

      > Cheaper, Better, Faster. You can only pick two.

      Not if you're Wall Street. Chalk this up to investors who demand that you're ALWAYS more profitable and ALWAYS have more market share than the previous quarter. Hell if you were a 100% no competition monopoly I'd think they'd STILL demand growth. It's a fundamental problem with unchecked capitalism. Greed overtakes everything else to the point everything else breaks.

    3. Re:Skype for Business by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What a bunch of left wing socialist nonsense. Typical of a gutter rat that cannot survive without government assistance.

      Fuck off, slaver.

    4. Re: Skype for Business by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Said the guy who can't actually lift 50 lbs all day...

    5. Re:Skype for Business by DigiShaman · · Score: 1

      I've reached nirvana. I've finally figured out the whole shit-show that is humanity...

      Capitalism = Slave of the self
      Communism = Slave to others (and the state).

      We wax and wane between the two. But at the end of the day, you reach a period of nirvana and enlightenment the moment you accept we are slaves to TIME!

      At this point, I could give two fucks anymore.

      --
      Life is not for the lazy.
    6. Re:Skype for Business by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You realize that various forms of socialism are between those two states. Of course a lot of perception about it comes from whether or not you think the Star Trek universe is something to aspire to or work against. The story provides a roadmap of would "could" happen during the slide from capitalism primarily to communism primarily.

      Human nature has a tendency to get in the way of positive progress though. There are always people that think it was better a hundred or so years ago when it was empirically much much worse for everybody including the rich.

    7. Re:Skype for Business by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Actually, you can only pick one.

    8. Re:Skype for Business by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      from the headlines the last many years you can tell which companies choose only 'cheaper' or 'cheaper and faster'.

      if you are responsible for the data of others, "better" should be a requirement.

    9. Re:Skype for Business by Kjella · · Score: 1

      But, it does have a nifty "Busy" and "Do Not Disturb" setting. My boss was like "why are you always in those modes". To which I reply, "Oh, I can multi-task, but don't fret over any mistakes I might introduce"

      You're at work, the normal state is that you're working not goofing off. Those settings are useful to say "Busy = This better be important" or "DND = This better be an emergency" but if you're constantly using them they mean nothing. If anything it makes you look like you're crying wolf or consider yourself too important to talk to mere mortals. If people bother you with stupid shit when you're available then take up what role you have and who should be contacting you and why. And if they don't have a reasonable sense of urgency just point them to your mailbox or service desk system and say if they want you to drop what you're working on now then talk to the boss. Maybe you should have some sort of team leader or scrum master or other form of gateway before it reaches you. Because you make it sound like you can either sit idle at your desk and answer the phone or sit in total isolation and code and those are the only two options.

      --
      Live today, because you never know what tomorrow brings
    10. Re:Skype for Business by drinkypoo · · Score: 1

      Bully for you if you have a job where needless interruptions won't cause business problems, but many do. Sounds like they're being used as designed to me.

      --
      "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
    11. Re:Skype for Business by ksw_92 · · Score: 1

      The one nice thing about having people use Skype/Teams on O365 is that Skype tracks your calendar and will put you in "busy" status when you have calendar items marked certain ways. It's been a real benefit to some of my staff since they can declare parts of their day in their calendar as "leave me alone" time blocks, like when they're coding.

      Of course, you have to have pretty heavy buy-in to the O365 platform for this to be effective.

    12. Re:Skype for Business by Obfuscant · · Score: 3, Interesting

      you have to have pretty heavy buy-in to the O365 platform

      It's not "buy-in" when you're talking about O365, it's "rent-in".

    13. Re:Skype for Business by AmiMoJo · · Score: 1

      I prefer not having the busy/DND options and just ignoring stuff. The busy indicator just leaks information about your status and makes people upset when you appear to be available but don't answer.

      Better to just keep them wondering if they are being ignored or you are in the bathroom or what. Might even encourage them to send an async message rather than demanding your attention immediately.

      --
      const int one = 65536; (Silvermoon, Texture.cs)
      SJW, n: "Someone I don't like, and by the way I'm a fuckwit" - AC
    14. Re:Skype for Business by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      ... it does have a nifty "Busy" and "Do Not Disturb" setting.

      My boss was like "why are you always in those modes". To which I reply, ....

      "Busy" because I am working.

  5. "If you don't receive a reply... by mxgxw.alpha · · Score: 3, Interesting

    It's because I'm away or simply because I don't want to answer. (You decide)."

    That was my status message on my IM clients and I never used the "away" status. For some reason it worked, because it left to the sender with the responsibility of deciding what was the actual reason for not receiving an answer. And because that simple reason no-one ever felt offended because no-one wanted to think that I do not want to answer.

    I think we have a really deep cultural problem, fueled by the IM applications were there is an "expectation" of being available all the time... With the message status confirmations is even worse. Sometimes you simply cannot answer (I.E.: you check your phone in the middle of a meeting and is nothing of importance so you can answer after the meeting is finished).

    We need to learn again to not to expect an immediate answer.

    1. Re:"If you don't receive a reply... by markdavis · · Score: 1

      >"I think we have a really deep cultural problem, fueled by the IM applications were there is an "expectation" of being available all the time.."

      Yes, that, and also not understanding the better ways to contact individuals based on who they are and what the topic/content is. The example I give is repeatedly trying to educate my family NOT to text me with things that don't REQUIRE reasonably fast response:

      1) General info and/or long, and can wait: Send Email.

      2) Specific questions or info that need a response soon, but can wait a while: Send a Text or IM

      3) Need a response RIGHT NOW, or it is beyond words: Call.

      It is amazing to me that so many people don't think about how someone else might try to manage their time. If I want to know if a friend might want to go to a movie next Saturday- it seems obvious that Email is the best way. It is also best if it is complex or long. I can type very fast, look at a large and easy to read screen, attach lots of stuff, have nice folders and filters and organization, quote what was said so a response can be asynchronous, have far fewer mistakes, everything is just much easier and more convenient. Email should be far from dead.

      Some people will text EVERYTHING and then be upset when they don't get an immediate answer, or a 100 word response (who wants to type on a phone??) Others will call with things that are not important or urgent and are easily answered with a few words in a text message.

      Also, I don't have a phone GLUED to me 24/7. I don't keep it in my bedroom, EVER. I don't carry it around with me in the yard or throughout the house. I guess what I am trying to say is...

      "Know the individual to whom you are trying to communicate with before choosing a communication method or making assumptions about why they haven't responded."

    2. Re:"If you don't receive a reply... by Draeconix · · Score: 1

      I was thinking this exact same thing when I read the synopsis. Despite the illusion of being instant, no message is truly instant. There is always some sort of lag, even when we speak face to face. It takes time to compose a thought and then speak it. It then takes additional time for that sound to travel to your ears and for you to comprehend what was said. The fact that we can see when a message is delivered and read just exacerbates the problem when you don't respond. I have always used the rule of thumb, if it is an e-mail, Instant Message or Text Message I wait about 24 hours before I wonder if someone got my message. This is especially true if I am initiating the conversation and not already communicating with the individual(s).

    3. Re:"If you don't receive a reply... by Obfuscant · · Score: 1

      I think we have a really deep cultural problem, fueled by the IM applications were there is an "expectation" of being available all the time...

      You don' t need a "status" message, just don't run the program. If you're running an IM client, then why shouldn't someone assume you are accepting IMs? If you're not running the IM client, then it is pretty obvious that you aren't available.

    4. Re:"If you don't receive a reply... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      This. We can't expect people to instant reply. They'll reply when they reply, and if they don't then they don't. There are one million reasons why but none you can be sure about, so smile and move on.

    5. Re:"If you don't receive a reply... by mjwx · · Score: 1

      It's because I'm away or simply because I don't want to answer. (You decide)."

      That was my status message on my IM clients and I never used the "away" status. For some reason it worked, because it left to the sender with the responsibility of deciding what was the actual reason for not receiving an answer. And because that simple reason no-one ever felt offended because no-one wanted to think that I do not want to answer.

      I find this to be pointless. People trying to contact you fall into two basic categories, someone who always respects my time and someone who never respects my time. The former will not bother me unless it's important if I'm busy, the later doesn't care as they think their problem is more important than anything else. The later will bug you until you respond and really should be told to sod off at an earlier opportunity before they get too emotionally invested.

      I think we have a really deep cultural problem, fueled by the IM applications were there is an "expectation" of being available all the time... With the message status confirmations is even worse. Sometimes you simply cannot answer (I.E.: you check your phone in the middle of a meeting and is nothing of importance so you can answer after the meeting is finished).

      IM isn't responsible for this, its a bad work culture that is responsible for this. If a worker cannot make it clear that they will be difficult to contact or uncontactable out of hours or when they are busy then you have a broken work culture. Here in the UK, most employers will respect that you're busy, hell you're busy for them so a good line manager will head off disruption at the pass. I've certainly had managers that have said "Dave's busy on the XYZ, we need him to finsih that quickly so can you put it in a ticket" and omit the "like you're meant to do and bloody well know it" unless they're being particularly annoying. IM just is a tool, an inert, unanthropomorphiseable tool. Its up to people to decide on how its used.

      --
      Calling someone a "hater" only means you can not rationally rebut their argument.
  6. Valid point, maybe but not THAT necessary.... by King_TJ · · Score: 2

    I agree that most modern chat clients lack the traditional "Away" message and mechanism. But you can still do things like set "Do Not DIsturb" on your iPhone or Mac (complete with the ability for selected people to punch through that anyway, if needed).

    And like someone else pointed out .... simply not responding is like letting your telephone ring and not picking it up. You didn't have to have a recorded message pick up to tell them you're not available to talk. A lack of a response is sufficient.

    1. Re:Valid point, maybe but not THAT necessary.... by Actually,+I+do+RTFA · · Score: 1

      But you can still do things like set "Do Not DIsturb" on your iPhone or Mac

      Which solves the problem of not being disturbed by the call, but does not solve the problem of telling the other person "I'm not taking calls right now." A lack of response could be "not taking calls, will call back" or it could be 100 other things.

      --
      Your ad here. Ask me how!
  7. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 1

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  8. "away messages" are just micro blogging. No thanks by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I've tried "away messages" and ultimately I found them maddening. Most people just don't care enough to read them or even pay attention to whether you're away or not before messaging. If they "come back", I'll join normal people and not use them.

  9. You Should already have an Obvious Solution by mykepredko · · Score: 2

    Personally, when I'm not at work, I mute the ringer and put the phone on its charger in another room. A previous post noted just don't answer. I know people who power down their phones when they want some personal time.

    If you can't stay away from the phone or it must be by you at ALL TIMES, then I think the problem is more addiction related than there being the need for the manufacturer/OS developer to come up with an "away" message.

    --
    Mimetics Inc. Twitter
  10. How is this... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ... news for nerds?

    Srsly?

    1. Re:How is this... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      This is 100% tech and how it has changed society.

  11. Sounds like by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    a millennial problem...

  12. Sigh. Paywalled arwticle. by forkfail · · Score: 1

    Oh, wait, what am I saying?

    This is /.

    I don't need to read TFA or the summary to make expert comments!

    --
    Check your premises.
  13. Since the 90's? Are you kidding me? by mellon · · Score: 2

    The vacation message was an old tradition when I got my first Internet account in about 1986. They've been around at least since the sixties. Granted, not many people got them back then, but I'm sorry, I just can't let the idea that AOL of all people invented them pass without comment. AOL was the beginning of the end of the collegial Internet, where we respected each other and didn't spam each other, and vacation messages _worked_. AOL's vacation messages were spammy and created mail loops, which really sucked.

    I guess it's kind of funny that AOL is now ancient history—at the time it was the latest new disaster. :)

  14. well in this office when you set to away you n pto by Joe_Dragon · · Score: 1

    well in this office when you set to away you need the pto to cover it and Yeeeeaaaahh, I'm gonna need you to come in on Saturday.

  15. Re:Since the 90's? Are you kidding me? by Oligonicella · · Score: 1

    Back at you - "collegial Internet" Are you kidding me? I remember serious flame wars from the very start.

  16. I use away in Microsoft Teams and Skype... by snapsnap · · Score: 1

    and everyone ignores it. The problem isn't lack of the feature. The problem is the UIs don't make it obvious enough that someone is away.

  17. Not pro-active enough by wierd_w · · Score: 4, Insightful

    We need more than just an away message feature.

    We need a proactive "I do not respond to notifications, texts, or other attempts to gain my attention" message.

    I am sick as fuck at the constant "Site $FOO wants to send you notifications, ?" I get on the internet these days. NO, I DO NOT WANT YOUR NOTIFICATIONS, I NEVER ASKED TO BE NOTIFIED ABOUT ANYTHING FROM YOU, I AM JUST PASSIVELY READING YOUR SITE. LEAVE ME TO READ IN PEACE.

    It gets even worse when these sites detect "oh, you are using a mobile device according to your agent string! I will try some underhanded assfuckery to try to get your device to start automatically accepting notifications! Because we just KNOW YOU WILL LOVE THAT!" and start hammering my device as long as I have the browser open.

    No, I want a feature that I can turn on, system wide, on all my devices that sets the default mode of "NO, DO NOT WANT, DO NOT SEND OR TRY FUCKERY TO BE ABLE TO SEND." Optionally with a password locked means to whitelist certain things.

    Sadly, the powers that be in the universe seem hell bent on ensuring that every nanosecond of time is being spent being accosted by an endless and relentless torrent of "HEY HEY HEY LISTEN HEY HEY HEY!" from site operators, advertisers, and application developers, all trying to squeeze profit from the forced eyeball time.

    1. Re:Not pro-active enough by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Informative

      You can turn that notifications thingy off in FF, probably Chrome too.

      For Firefox, open:

            about:config

      then set:

            dom.webnotifications.enabled

      to:

            false

    2. Re:Not pro-active enough by drinkypoo · · Score: 1

      "HEY HEY HEY LISTEN HEY HEY HEY!"

      Fucking Navi.

      Oh look it's the lame-ass filter. Yep, slashdot is still incompetent

      --
      "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
    3. Re:Not pro-active enough by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      yep. browsers let you disable this.

    4. Re:Not pro-active enough by dargaud · · Score: 1

      I am sick as fuck at the constant "Site $FOO wants to send you notifications, ?"

      Yes. A bunch of sites have those every time I log in. And also the 'please accept our coockies' prompt. And also the 'please disable adblock' prompt. That's waiting for 3 popups to appear and be clicked on. Waste of time. Is there some Firefox plugin to get rid of those ?

      --
      Non-Linux Penguins ?
    5. Re: Not pro-active enough by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Ublock origin with
      * Addblock warning removal;
      * Fanboys cookie monster list;
      * Prebake - Filter obtrusive cookie notice;

      I use half a dozen more, but those three clear 80% of that crap.

    6. Re:Not pro-active enough by mjwx · · Score: 1

      Adblocker and script blocker. I run Ghostery and Ublock Origin and never am I bothered by those things. What I need is something that gets rid of those stupid "The EU decided that privacy is worth protecting so we're going to fuck with you until you accept our data mining" popups. Right now my response is to close the tab or hit the back button (and don't get me started on apps and sites that don't respect my back button).

      --
      Calling someone a "hater" only means you can not rationally rebut their argument.
  18. Is there an app for this? by greywire · · Score: 1

    Is there no app that would allow you, with the push of one button, to set all your mesaging, email, etc to predefined statuses? "Away from my desk", or "out to lunch", etc..

    Seems like a relatively easy thing to do.

    Maybe I will do it...

    --
    -- Senior Software Engineer, Attorney appearance services, locallawyerapp.com.
    1. Re:Is there an app for this? by Aqualung812 · · Score: 1

      It isn't easy because there is a variety of modes for communication. Many don't allow API access.

      -For voice calls, they need to be re-routed to an Away recording
      -SMS will have to be blocked with an auto-response. These seems like the easiest one to do.
      -Facebook Messenger, and many others: No API access. Messages will queue on the server.

      --
      Grammer Nazis - I mod you "troll" unless you actually add something on-topic. Yes, I know I have mispellings in my sig.
    2. Re:Is there an app for this? by sysrammer · · Score: 1

      OT: Hey, I work at a law firm. I never knew there was an app for their appearances.

      Personally, I just use a mirror. But...

      IANAL

      --
      His ignorance covered the whole earth like a blanket, and there was hardly a hole in it anywhere. - Mark Twain
  19. /away isn't there for a reason by Fly+Swatter · · Score: 1

    You may find you like it and are more relaxed with it on, since you can politely tell everyone 'get lost I'm busy'.

    Social media and the online ecosystems don't want that, since it takes away from their product (which is you).

    1. Re:/away isn't there for a reason by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Why should I care what social media wants? I don't use it.

  20. I'm offended by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    "...probably a wheezing beige colossus running Windows 95."

    Hey, I've quit smoking and I wasn't THAT fat!

  21. Mine is simpler by argStyopa · · Score: 1

    Self-Discipline.

    --
    -Styopa
    1. Re:Mine is simpler by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Look around you. Most people dont understand self discipline, even as a concept, any more. Its just noise to these kids, a phrase thay recognize but dont truly understand

    2. Re:Mine is simpler by sysrammer · · Score: 1

      Look around you. Most people dont understand self discipline, even as a concept, any more. Its just noise to these kids, a phrase thay recognize but dont truly understand

      Don't just blame the kids, bucko! We *invented* this shit.

      --
      His ignorance covered the whole earth like a blanket, and there was hardly a hole in it anywhere. - Mark Twain
  22. Re:Since the 90's? Are you kidding me? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Uh...I still have and use an @aol.com email. And I don't check ANY email account every single day, unless *I* want to.

  23. Good, point. Can't see it happening though. by Halster · · Score: 1

    Yes, we do need this more now than ever.

    It always struck me as strange that we had IM clients on our computers for so long, then there was this strange lag while we got something comparable on smartphones. Then when we did, it was like we started from scratch.

    Regardless, I don't think it will happen. The world has gone notification-mad, there's barely an app (or website) out there that doesn't want to notify you of something. That's clearly because they need your attention to help monetize the platform (you are the product, after all). If messaging apps allow you to go "AFK", that's less interaction, meaning less $$$.

    The harsh reality is - they don't make these things for us, they make them for them to make money. Unless it's likely to generate more cash, it'll never happen.

    L8r.

    --

    "How much truth can advertising buy?" - iNsuRge - AK47
  24. Good idea! by duke_cheetah2003 · · Score: 1

    My phone already has a feature that if it's connected to my vehicle's Bluetooth, it will auto-respond to any text messages informing the sender that I'm driving and cannot respond.

    It'd be great to have just an away button I can tap, or part of the do-not-disturb functionality, so yeah, we need an 'away' button that will auto-respond just like my driving thing does.

    Obviously the software can already do this, just need some more controls over it.

    1. Re:Good idea! by Obfuscant · · Score: 1

      My phone already has a feature that if it's connected to my vehicle's Bluetooth, it will auto-respond to any text messages informing the sender that I'm driving and cannot respond.

      Cool. So someone else who is driving breaks the law and texts you, and you both get punished by having 8313 incoming SMS after your two-hour drive.

      Better yet, you get pulled over for a minor infraction and the officer thinks you've been texting in violation of the law. He looks at your SMS history and sees 8313 outgoing text messages while you've been driving.

      That's like a huge fine at least in Oregon.

    2. Re:Good idea! by duke_cheetah2003 · · Score: 1

      So someone else who is driving breaks the law and texts you, and you both get punished by having 8313 incoming SMS after your two-hour drive.

      No. No court is that stupid, sorry buddy. The text message even says 'Auto-response' in it. Don't be stupid.

    3. Re:Good idea! by Obfuscant · · Score: 1

      No. No court is that stupid, sorry buddy.

      The court might look at the content of the messages and decide they were all auto-responses, BUT THE COP WHO WRITES THE TICKET probably will not. You've fallen into the trap of thinking that something is not illegal and you won't get punished for it as long as a court eventually finds you not guilty. You're spending an awful lot of time and money waiting for that final verdict. If you're one of the first people who hits the top offender category (X many times in Y years) you may even get a nice newspaper story about it -- complete with mugshot.

      That's the same trap that hams in Oregon find themselves in with the new distracted driving law here. We used to be exempted, now it is "an affirmative defense" to be using an amateur radio while driving. As a specialist on the law told me, "affirmative defense" means you get to be found "not guilty" after getting the ticket on your record and spending time in front of a judge. And you had better be using a model of radio that says "amateur radio" in the documentation and not a repurposed commercial radio.

      The text message even says 'Auto-response' in it.

      You need to read the message to see that. The content of the message is irrelevant, so no cop is going to read all 8313 messages to see that they're all "auto-response". He's going to see your texting history and that it has you sending messages while you are driving.

    4. Re:Good idea! by sysrammer · · Score: 1

      Why would a cop care what port I was using? (TCP/UDP - EMC2 (Legato) Networker or Sun Solcitice Backup (Official) [7937-9936])

      --
      His ignorance covered the whole earth like a blanket, and there was hardly a hole in it anywhere. - Mark Twain
  25. Wrong problem by GrahamJ · · Score: 1

    If after 20 years of ubiquitous text messaging some senders haven't left behind the expectation of immediacy, that's their problem. Pandering to them by giving them presence information won't help.

  26. Re:Since the 90's? Are you kidding me? by bill_mcgonigle · · Score: 1

    He's not talking about email, vacation messages, or AOL vacation messages.

    --
    My God, it's Full of Source!
    OUTSIDE_IP=$(dig +short my.ip @outsideip.net)
  27. Out of my mind by PPH · · Score: 1

    Back in 15 minutes.

    --
    Have gnu, will travel.
  28. but i am not away by mapkinase · · Score: 1

    I actually need to wear away message IRL so people won't bother me.

    --
    I do not believe in karma. "Funny"=-6. Do good and forbid evil. Yours, Oft-Offtopic Flamebaiting Troll.
    1. Re:but i am not away by sysrammer · · Score: 1

      Don't bath.

      --
      His ignorance covered the whole earth like a blanket, and there was hardly a hole in it anywhere. - Mark Twain
  29. In other words... by 93+Escort+Wagon · · Score: 1

    The Secret to Disconnecting? Put down the damn phone and walk away!

    --
    #DeleteChrome
  30. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 1

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  31. Someone please help! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    My peanut butter jar fell and got stuck in my ass!

  32. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 1

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  33. Re:Since the 90's? Are you kidding me? by mellon · · Score: 1

    Oh yeah, definitely. But we didn't spam each other. There were standards. :)

  34. Re:Since the 90's? Are you kidding me? by mellon · · Score: 1

    I know, he's talking about AIM, and it had presence notification, which was a nice thing, which I'm pretty sure they didn't invent. But the principle is the same whether it's a vacation message or a presence indicator. And AOL's vacation messages really did suck.

  35. not really a solution by bobmagicii · · Score: 1

    all the apps that have away mods, i just leave on away 100% of the time and everyone who matters knows it. and new people to the chat younger than 25 don't seem to care, so it serves no point but fill my passive aggressive need to remind everyone i hate them all.

  36. My experience by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I was Away on MSN Messenger for years. Permanently. Simply had too many contacts. My favorite type was the one who constantly said "Are you there?". Instead of directly stating what his problem was. Had he done that, I could have answered it when I had time. I still feel email is the best way to get a reply.

  37. email is better for most things by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Don't text me, discord message me, etc. about most things. And certainly don't call. All those things are useful. But the default should be EMAIL.

  38. Missing the ol'times... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    /me is away: toilet || Sup3RL33tSCRIPT2000

  39. Not just away! by antdude · · Score: 1

    Invisibilty, do not disturb, idled, custom status, etc.

    --
    Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
  40. and this is why google wants https by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Not for security, but so we cant hack protocols and hack incoming messages to customize things, like
    we could for eons on windows.

    Now that mobiles are nearly as fast as laptops, hopefully MS will release a version of Windows 10 SnapDragon, that will be installable
    onto ANY MOBILE with enough specs.

    MS could do to mobiles, what it did to PCATs, and make their OS work on all hardware.

    Could you imagine, download Samsung/LG/Oppo/HTC/Pixel updater to Windows10 ARM.

  41. Re: If you don't receive a reply... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Sometimes you simply cannot answer (I.E.: you check your phone in the middle of a meeting and is nothing of importance so you can answer after the meeting is finished).

    We need to learn again to not to expect an immediate answer.

    We also need to learn not to check our phones in the middle of an important meeting. :P

  42. Re: Not sure THAT is the secret by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    If you want to pray, get a prayer rope.
    Judaism, Daoism, Reformed Christianity, and Restoration Christianity are the only major religions that don't use either a rossry, or a prayer rope, or both.

    A dedicated ebook reader won't have the ability to accept email, sms, im, irc, voip, text messages, phone calls, or other forms of two way communication.

  43. No away message? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    IRC master race doesn't have this problem.

  44. But that was another time by Sqreater · · Score: 1

    Another time when we were actually human beings and not merely cells in a worldwide commercial enterprise called the internet. We don't have the right to be offline because too many companies depend on us being on line 24/7. They would plug into our brains if they could, Matrix-like. It will get worse.

    --
    E Proelio Veritas.
    1. Re:But that was another time by sysrammer · · Score: 1

      And when it comes, they will have spent years brain-washing^W^Wadvertizing^Wpersuading^W"informing" 'tweeners that they simply *must* have the latest chip installed into their face. It will come in pretty, customizable colors, matched to their mood, with cute little "Hello Pussy" and other cartoon images. It will be always on, always fun!

      --
      His ignorance covered the whole earth like a blanket, and there was hardly a hole in it anywhere. - Mark Twain
  45. Re:Since the 90's? Are you kidding me? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Rose glasses, rose glasses. Yeah, "we" did.

  46. funny I found a older solution to the problem by Dusanyu · · Score: 1

    I just simply canceled my phone service. closed social media accounts out. End game of this was my home I quieter without ringing and buzzing of a mobile device i can concentrate better and feel lower stress levels, heck even my blood pressure dropped enough I could go off the medication. Unplugging was the best choice i ever made.

  47. "News for nerds" my ass. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Only one Anonymous Coward mentions IRC, where away messages were written into the protocol in 1993.

  48. Re:Since the 90's? Are you kidding me? by sysrammer · · Score: 1

    Me too.

    --
    His ignorance covered the whole earth like a blanket, and there was hardly a hole in it anywhere. - Mark Twain
  49. Re:Since the 90's? Are you kidding me? by sysrammer · · Score: 1

    Me too

    --
    His ignorance covered the whole earth like a blanket, and there was hardly a hole in it anywhere. - Mark Twain
  50. Re:Since the 90's? Are you kidding me? by sysrammer · · Score: 1

    Me too!

    (for the uninitiated, one could find threads with dozens or more peoples saying me too. It was *always* attached to an OP asking "where's the porn?". This was right after AOL integrated USENET.

    gudTiemz

    --
    His ignorance covered the whole earth like a blanket, and there was hardly a hole in it anywhere. - Mark Twain