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The Story of Lenny, the Internet's Favorite Telemarketing Troll (vice.com)
dmoberhaus writes: Here's a conversation with the developer who maintains the public server for Lenny, a robocalling algorithm that throws telemarketers through a loop. Lenny was created in 2009 and almost a decade later has developed a cult following online. Anyone can forward their telemarketing calls to Lenny, who is a kind and forgetful old man who is interested in whatever the telemarketer is selling. Some telemarketers stay on the line for up to an hour interacting with this chatbot, leading to hundreds of hours of hilarious recordings on YouTube. This is the story of Lenny's rise, and an analysis of its effectiveness at stopping unsolicited calls.
I put my phones on Do Not Disturb a while back. I see the occasional spam scumbag call from everywhere in the country if my phone's in front of me but seldom do these immoral douchbags who need to take a long time dying after a horrible car accident in which their family burns to death, leave a message.
Sadly I get them at work too and I have to answer those calls. I've taken to answering, "Good morning, this is [John], what is your emergency?" which seems to turn into a lot of hangups (we have internal caller-id so I don't worry about saying that for some coworker or manager and I'm, likely justifiably, not customer facing).
[John]
Shit better not happen!
My wife fussed at me a few nights ago, because I was impolite to an ADT salesman that randomly showed up at my door. I'll tell you the same thing I told her:
-The salesman lied to me. She said she wasn't there to try to sell something. WTF ever. Get off my property.
-The salesman attempted to manipulate to me. "Didn't they tell you at the closing that I would be coming?", she asked. A) The closing was months ago. B) No one ever told me that, and "they" is vague enough that I can't contradict you. C) If "they" HAD told me you were coming, I would have asked them to tell you to stay at home. D) Them "telling" me that you were coming is not a requirement that I give you the time of day. WTF ever. Get off my property.
-The salesman attempted to manipulate me by assuming a posture of familiarity that was unearned. I didn't know her from Adam, and the "we're friends" attitude is an attempt to break down my barrier of suspicion. WTF ever. Get off my property.
-If I wanted her product, I would have went looking for it. WTF ever. Get off my property.
-When I saw her ADT folder as she was walking up to the door and said, "No, thank you.", she persisted. Salesmen are taught not to take No for an answer, but instead to push and manipulate. I have learned to say, "I'm not going to argue with you. Fuck you, and get off my property." followed by "I'm calling the police." I consider that relationship to be symmetrical.
People who come to me randomly, seeking to push something on me have no right to anything other than a blunt, "Go away." Telemarketers fit squarely within this category.
Aah, change is good. -- Rafiki
Yeah, but it ain't easy. -- Simba
Several years ago, both the wife and I were working from home, and I was in the basement where my office was.
Three guys showed up claiming to be from "the energy company" (sufficiently vague and non-specific as to imply they were on 'official' business) ... they talked their way into the house, and my wife took them downstairs to show them the furnace, because they were telling us we 'had' to replace the vent pipes due to changes in the building code. Ignoring the fact that any such change grandfathers in existing stuff, and hiding the fact they were in no way associated with my actual energy company.
My bullshit meter went off, and I started asking pointed questions. They tried their little song and dance until I finally said "get the fuck off my property before I call the police". At one point their 'evidence' that I 'had' to do this was a photocopy of an article which they were trying to pass off as some form of law, but in reality said nothing of substance.
My wife thought I'd overreacted, but I quickly found her news articles talking about this exact scam. Literally sign people up to replace their furnace for no legitimate reason other than to take your money and lock you into a support contract you don't need.
She now understands that all door to door sales people are lying sacks of shit who mis-represent themselves and try to make it sound like their official business is almost a legal requirement -- and even if they're not, we have to treat them as such.
I don't answer the phone if I don't know the number, and I don't ever let a door to door salesman get a word in beyond hello ... I just go straight to "oh, look, someone with a clipboard, please fuck off an go away".
I had one especially persistent guy who kept trying to do the "but you have to" schtick, and eventually I said "look, we both know you're lying, so if you don't leave I'm going to hurt you and then call the police because you're here under false pretences and representing yourself as something you are not". He left pretty quickly.
Pretty much this, if I wanted your service I'd track it down myself ... but since I didn't, and didn't invite you to make your sales pitch to me, I'm not fucking listening to it.
Your pathetic job going door to door or phoning me trying to scam me out of money doesn't carry a duty for me to give a shit.