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A Brief History of Squirt Gun Technology
ectospasm writes "This article in the Los Angeles Times is a brief history of the squirt gun, with it's main focus on Super Soaker, the undisputed champion of the water arms race. Interesting because the original Super Soaker idea was the brainchild of a Jet Propulsion Laboratory engineer. I especially like what they say about a forth-coming product line aimed at college-aged children. ;-) " I need a big honkin, uber efficient squirt gun
for sniping these kids that keep ringing my doorbell and running.
By the way, for all of you who like water guns, I suggest renting a power washer from your local hardware store. Just don't point it at people, wooden fences, or anything else that can't take 1300 PSI. ;)
Wah!
When I was 10 (back in '91) I bought the first model of the SS50, which, for its size, was by far the farthest advance in water-propelling technology I had ever seen or cared to imagine. I douched everybody when we went at it in the summer time. Then my friend got a 100. Damn him.
However, I discovered an interesting way to make my old SS50 (and second SS50 -- the first had a design flaw that busted some sort of seal if you filled it up too much) actually propel the tank off the gun at a staggering speed, and with a much farther range than the actual water stream. The tank would shoot roughly 50 ft. at a 90 degree angle to the ground... aiming this at lower trajectories ended up worrying my neighbors because they'd see, in essence, a rocket-propelled tank of water rifle across the street. Needless to say, my parents took it away.
The trick is, fill the tank about 1/4 full (or 3/4 empty for all you pessimists) with water, and screw the tank on to create a seal, but not to torque the bottle on so that it cant be quickly unscrewed. Then, begin pumping. Pump the thing until you are either physically exhausted from pumping or the gun refuses to pump any more, which ever comes first (at 10, it was usually the former). Then, with great haste, aim the gun at your target (At *WAIST* level, you could probably put an eye out doing this near your shoulders) and quickly unscrew the water-containment bottle. After about 1/2 to 3/4 a turn, it will rocket off the gun fixture at an incredible speed and for an amazing distance -- something usually not comprehended for something so small.
TECHNICAL NOTES:
TO acheive maximum distance, use a higher-modelled gun with a tank from a smaller model that will still screw onto the water-pressure valve. This allows even more air to be compressed and to fill a smaller volume. Normally this tends to increase distance significantly more than it does speed, though I'm sure the two are related. The last valid combination i tested was an SS50 bottle screwed onto an SS100 gun...
Watch out, neighbor-kids, here I come...
--
Dave Brooks (db@amorphous.org)
http://www.amorphous.org
Ah yeah, the joys of super soakers.
I still think they need to make one you can snap CO2 cartridges into. Too inefficient to have to stop and pump it up in the heat of a battle.
Laser sights are nice. For a couple years I've had a 5mw laser module thats migrated around my various weapons of choice. Useful on the waterguns when you can't hit someone directly, but want to splatter the stream off something over their head.
Also very useful on the suction-cup dart guns they used to make. (The ones that would leave welts, not the new toned down ones) With a laser site on my circa 1994 six-shot SuperSoaker dart gun, and specially reinforced darts (the new darts aren't strong enough for the old guns), I can raise a welt from fifty feet away with dead-on accuracy!
37 b.c. Roman General Semper Cuni Linctus develops Squirtus Maximus, an ox bladder filled with water, that is operated by a legionaire jumping up and down on top of it. The device is used to dampen the resistence of the Gauls in what is now Southern France.
800 a.d. Danish barbarian modify the Squirtus by adding a nozzle. The weapon is used by chieftan Unferth the Hairy during his invasion of Ireland. Marks the first and last time in history that an Irishman is known to have showered.
1200 a.d. Improved squirtgun consisting of a large water reservoir and a modified billows is used by Islamic forces attempting to lift the crusader siege of Acre. Entire christian army is rusted solid and subsequently slaughtered.
1345 a.d. Rebelious Flemish peasants route a French army by using water filled gourds that smash on impact. Considered by historians to be the first appearance of the water balloon.
1356 a.d. Pope Pius IX bans the use of water based weaponry in a papal edict arguing that it is a "mockery of god who has dominion over the waters of the earth."
1803 a.d. Steel tubes with a nozzle on one end and a piston on the other are used by Portugese guerillas to expel fluids in the general direction of french occupation forces. Weapons are prone to rust and less than effective against muskets.
1939 a.d. Rust proof stainless steel squirt guns used by Nazi forces occupying Norway. The weapon is found to be non-functional during the norwegian winters.
1958 a.d. Soviet scientists develop first plastic squirt gun. Eisenhower warns nation of a "squirt gap" School children accross the country engage in squirting drills where they crawl under their desks and cover their heads.
1959 a.d. U.S. scientist in the secret "Vaudeville Project" develop the squirting flower.
1983 a.d. President reagan accused off selling squirt guns to Iran in exchange for freedom of US hostages.
1999 a.d. Timeline joke has grown stale. Shoeboy decides to stop and submit his post.
--Shoeboy