Slashdot Mirror
Broadcasting Spam into Space
A reader writes "Apparently frustrated by the crackdown on SPAMers by ISPs around the world, a group of Davis, California innovators made headlines this week in the Sacramento Bee by unveiling their "intergalactic communication system (U.S. Patent Pending)" which will beam unsolicited email into outer space. According to one of the founders, "this is the ultimate expression of free speech", but it will cost the general public $10.95 to have a 1000 word message launched. "
Secondly, the signal will be intermittent, so won't show up any more than the WOW! signal did on Earth, even if it -did- reach someone.
Thirdly, noise will garble any message beyond the point of being interpretable.
Fourthly, there is no way an alien race is going to be able to interpret ASCII text in any useful way, even if they did receive the message intact.
Fifthly, even if the aliens broke the ASCII code, they are hardly likely to know English, or any other Terran language.
Sixthly, even if the message was recieved and understood, given the timescales involved, it might be several hundred years before any reply would ever reach Earth, by which time the computer the message was to be delivered to would no longer exist, causing the reply to bounce.
Seventhly, even if the Internet still existed, and a computer with the correct name was present, with a mail server that still recognised that format of message, nobody on the receiving end who knew what the message was a reply to would still be alive.
Eighthly, even if someone DID know what the reply was for, and received it, and could interpret it (given natural language shifts), they would have no means of guaging it's authenticity or source, so rendering it useless.
It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
It must be that memory drops off over time at the inverse of 4th power :-)
The post above was right, for reflections the returned power is 1/^4 of the distance to the target.
Power from Tx to Rx falls off at 1/^2 * distance.
the Anonymous Cypher
Hemos is like...sci-fi fans;he thinks technology is cool, but he hasn't bothered to understand the science it's based on
but until know
This should read "but until _NOW_"
Sorry.
Yes, I am an idiot.
--Shoeboy
Geezz, this is tough. I guess the 1st msg would be something like...
We have free sex pics of young women sex that work at home sex to raise money sex to help their legal and sex financial problems/opportunities sex all at no sex risk to you!
Unfortunately, the little green men read this as:
blah blah sex blah blah blah sex blah blah blah sex blah blah sex blah blah blah sex blah blah sex blah blah sex blah blah.
(with apologies to Larson and Ginger).
Oh good, I'm glad they've made provisions.
--
I guess we'll need make a proposal for that. :)
Save the whales. Feed the hungry. Free the mallocs.
To: postmaster@earth.sol.com
From: zork@gmaps.beta.lyrae.net
Subject: GRBH advisory
Dear Earthlings:
We have received numerous reports that your planet has been broadcasting unsolicited commercial email (commonly referred to as "spam"). Please be advised that your planet is now a candidate for Galactic Real-time Black Hole (GRBH) listing.
We understand that, as a young and technologically backward species, you may not be familiar with the rules of Galactic Etiquette. However, ignorance is no excuse for your present behavior. We have also heard that your planetary network maintains a so-called "black-hole list." Please note that your penchant for colorful metaphors is unique among sentient species; we of the galactic community are rather more literal-minded.
We personally doubt that you wish to see your planet torn apart by a gravitational vortex, so we urge you to cease transmitting spam immediately. Please inform us by interocitor of your intent to comply within the next 100 centons.
"R U M/F?"
This really works!
Just send 5*10^50 atoms of hydrogen to each of the five star systems listed below. Then, add your own system to the top of the list, delete the system at the bottom, and send out copies of this message to 100 other solar systems.
If you follow these instructions, within 0.25 galactic rotations you are guaranteed to receive enough hydrogen in return to power your civilization until the heat death of the universe!
ok .5 watt, evenly distributed over a sphere 4 light years in radius (distance to nearest star).
.5/(4*pi*[4*300,000,000*60*60*24*365.24]^2)
1.6*10^-32 watts/meter^2
or if you have a really big radio telescope:
1.6*10^-26 watts/kilometer^2
or if the entire surface of your planet is a radio telescope:
4.1*10^-18 watts/half of a earth sized planet.
No one is gonna be picking this up, i don't care how clever they are, the signal is simply to weak.
Any background radiation at all will completely swamp it.
(A beam will still fall off with distance, as it will diffuse, some.)
However, radio noise from natural sources (such as the sun, the planets, toasters, etc.) will probably drown out anything transmitted, at any real distance, given the equiptment used.
It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
If they make money I'm gonna launch one of these. I'll use a laser pointer and morse code. It may not as extensive in coverage as their machine, but it will work, and be cheaper. I'll only charge $5 per 5000 words. I couldn't actually use their method, cuz gorsh I wouldn't want to infringe on any patent rights....
Ohhh their "powerful computers" will do some magic and let you know when your email has been sent. And I'll send you an email right after I tap out your message.
I gotta find the twinks who actually try to do this. I'm sure they'll buy my new death ray too.
Silly question is Dogbert running BentSpace?
-cpd
How about we just send the spammers into space, instead? Please?
- Dave
"Take what thou hast and give it to the poor."
- Dave
You mean the Write-Once Read-Never (WORN) drive's been patented already? Darn! There goes my chance to make a fortune off the Windows 2000 rush.
It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
Hmm....is anyone up to date on alien currency exchange rates?
If ET *does* buy into my patented multi-level marketing plan, which has worked for thousands of Earthlings, and absolutely legal and guaranteed to earn you $5000/week while you loose 50 lbs/month, I'm going to need to know how much of his money it takes to make just $9.99 US.
I can just see it now...
Meezledorp! look what i got in my inbox! Free Sex for 5 days! Earth girls *are* easy!
Gwazzlenap, we must find this Pamala Anderson now! Set course for Earth at maximum fizzlegargs!
Large print giveth, and the small print taketh away
I reckon they can be sued for that, polluting Australian airwaves and all.
It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
In theory, any RF signal will go on forever, decreasing at the 4th power of the distance.
.5 watt signal can't be detected even by a theoretically perfect receiver. The distance would probably only be about 10e14 meters, or a distance just outside our own solar system. I think that number was for a 1 watt signal on 1.0 GHz, or maybe it was the 250 milliwatt signal from one of the early spacecraft. Time dims memory.
In reality, there is a limit where a signal can no longer be detected. Because of the background radiation of 3 degrees kelvin, and a host of other factors, eventually even a
Their site is pretty funny, they aren't taking themselves too seriously. But there isn't anywhere they tell about what frequency or coding scheme they are using. I'd love to know. I've just posted a message to their board (number 3, they don't have a slashdot base of users, yet)
the AC
Hemos is like...sci-fi fans;he thinks technology is cool, but he hasn't bothered to understand the science it's based on
You'd be surprised at how far a half-watt can travel. Lots of amateur radio operators work the world by bouncing signals off the atmosphere's ionized layers at power levels under 10 milliwatts. That'll give you some idea of what range line-of-sight travel through the vacuum of space can achieve.
:-)
And the farther spam travels from earth, the better
Certified Microsoft Notworking Specialist
Well, they -do- say Intergalactic communications. :)
It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
It's a test for intelligence. Since spammers don't have any, I guess the idea is that they'd fail the test.
It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
This is for real. A NASA probe sent to answer the question of whether there is intelligent life in space was first directed to Earth, as a test. The results were negative.
It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
Make money fast! No selling required with a guaranteed part-time income of up to 20,000,000,000 monetary units per planetary rotation! Just order our kit for only 10,000,000,000 monetary units (grams of platinum, please drop them in the back yard -- NOT on the house or car!). The kit includes *everything* you need to start living the good life! Hear what others have said about MoneyScam...
[include quotes of MoneyScam rich customers here...]
If you wish to be removed from our list and not receive our mailings in the future, send 10,000,000 monetary units!
Yours in InstaWealth,
A. Bilfred Spammer,
President, MoneyScam Industries
(Null3928@bigfoot.com)
Geeky modern art T-shirts
Now Earth is going to be blacklisted on the galactic Internet. I guess we'll be considered as an open relay.
:P
PS: Can I change my ISP to another planet? This one has bad service and is *way* too busy even though the phone-to-customer ratio is something like 2:1!
æeee!
Seattle company to allow money to be transmitted into the earth.
SEATTLE Shoeboy Industries, a local high tech firm known for their extensive bong testing labs has developed a new technique to allow individuals to send money towards the center of the Earth.
"Scientists have long speculated that there might be vast populations of intelligent beings living in a vast hollow cave within the earth's core." observered Shoeboy, founder and CEO of Shoeboy Industries, "Our process allows you to send money to these tunneling superbeings. We take your money and deposit it in my bank account. I then write a check to the underground men and deposit it as close to the earth's core as is possible with current technology."
Little is known about the exact method Shoeboy uses to send these checks, but many industry insiders have speculated that it involves a highly specialized tool known as a 'shovel.' Such a tool could be purchased at the 'Tweedy and Pop' hardware store down the street from Shoeboy's apartment, but until know, industry analysts have considered the $14.95 price tag too high for a small firm like Shoeboy Industries.
When questioned, Shoeboy revealed that his firm had recieved extensive backing from a prominent venture capital firm. "We used the words 'Internet' and 'e-commerce' in the same sentence and these dudes dropped 20 million on the table." reported Shoeboy. "We were all like, whoa dude think of all the twinkies we could buy."
When asked if he thought that people would pay money to send a message to recipients whose very existence is a remote theoretical possibility Shoeboy replied "well, there's a whole mess of gullible idiots out there on the web."
--Shoeboy