Amiga Executive Update

Metaphysicist writes "According to a new Executive Update, Amiga's new Prez says: "The reports of the Amiga's death are greatly exaggerated". While he didn't really say much about what AI will do, he did seem to say that AI won't be building any hardware: "we have decided to work with business partners who will deliver our software technology on their systems, rather than enter the hardware business directly." " So insert your random amiga theory here.

Comments

great idea

[vyesue]

I have a great idea - how about a ban on Amiga "news" articles until they do something newsworthy? In the past weeks we've seen them tout products that don't exist, cancel programs that were never started, revamp their leadership, and now, they are alerting the world that they aren't doing anything yet.

jesus, when does it end? enough with the Amiga trash already. we don't care, and we won't until they actually do something.

Re:great idea

[MindStalker]

If you look in your user settings you'll find this amazing little tool. You can select which type of news you want to see. So if you wish to not recieve any amiga news, you don't have to.

Re:great idea

[Twinky]

But maybe we can slim down the number of categories by sorting announcements from Amiga Inc. into another topic. I suggest this one.

Amiga is not dead, but it is smelling very funny.

Great Ghu enough is enough!

[Ledge Kindred]

Can we finally put this whole Amiga thing to rest now that it's plainly obvious they're not going to be doing anything anymore?

Why does this remind me of nothing quite so much as some sort of bizarre Monty Python or Marx Brothers skit?

Groucho: So, you're going to build the new Amiga hardware?
Chico: A-yes-a, but-a you see, we was going to build the hardware, but now we no building the hardware.
Groucho: So you're building the software, right?
Chico: Oh, no, you-a see, we-a going to build the soft-a-ware, but now we-a no building the soft-a-ware neither.
Groucho: But you're at least designing the chips?
Chico: No, we-a thought we-a design the chips, but we then think, no, we no design-a the chips.
(in rapid fire)
Groucho: OS?
Chico: No
Groucho: Keyboard?
Chico: No
Groucho: Mouse?
Chico: No
Groucho: I've got it! You're going to just build the hardware specifications!
Chico: No, we don' going to have-a nothing to do with-a building the boxes and-a we no going to have-a nothing to do with the software that-a running on-a the boxes.
Groucho: Well, then what in the world is going to make it an Amiga?
Chico: Ah, you-a see, we put-a the Amiga name on it! That-a make it Amiga!
Groucho: (pauses) My friend, that is the stupidest idea I have ever heard. And I've heard some pretty stupid ones from you.
Chico: Thank-a you very much! We think it-a pretty good too.

-=-=-=-=-

Amiga Announces "Cloud 1.0"

[kuro5hin]

To: The Amiga Community

Leveraging over five years of Amiga's revolutionary Vapor-Tech development, Amiga Inc. announced their first product under the direction of Gateway, Amiga Cloud 1.0. Amiga Inc. will collect large amounts of their previously released VaporWare and place them in the Earth's lower atmosphere, initially over large cities, but later we hope to deploy them nationwide, end even worldwide.

We at Amiga believe that despite the fact, nay, even because of the fact that we haven't released a product since 1995, we are perfectly positioned to become a market leader in the revolutinary new technology.

Our Cloud 1.0 product will be years, millenia, ahead of it's time, providing both advanced irrigation services, and also a totally new graphical paradigm. Our GUI interface is so simple, even a three year old child can master it. The user simply must lie down on their back, and observe any Amiga Cloud 1.0 installation, and Amiga Cloud 1.0 will immediately reconfigure itself into a wide variety of multimedia shapes and presentation styles.

A banana, a horse, a big weasel eating sausage links-- all these and more can be called forth effortlessly by the new Amiga Cloud 1.0. Cloud is fully multiuser and multitasking, features a "form once, rain anywhere" portable architecture, and will soon be available in multiple "flavors" including "original white," "titanium gray," "fishbelly silver," and "tornado plum." And for our customers in Florida, look for "Floyd gray," debuting tonight!

Yes, Amiga's Cloud 1.0 will be so damn revolutionary, worldchanging, and downright original, that I can barely contain myself! I mean, seriously, this will change everything! Those other companies won't know what hit them! Together, we shall rule the world, and crush all the heretic nonbelievers!!!! They will burn and suffer for all time in their eternal Wintel torment!!!!!!

oops. I think I wet 'em.

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We all take pink lemonade for granted.