>So, the best thing to do when you hear this line,... is to drop the person who says it like a hot brick
Amem to that! I second that sentiment whole-heartedly. As someone who's been on the receiving end of that line to many times, I have to say this is the only way to handle it. It's way too easy to go along with it, thinking "well friendship is valueable and better than nothing." But deeper down, you're really thinking "if I just show her how much I really care by being a devoted friend, she'll come around." Well it's never going to happen and you'll just end up bitter and frustrated, while trapped in a situation where you think you have to continue to smile and be friendly when you really are having your heart jerked around painfully.
Don't do it! Walk away, as rudely as possible! And don't look back! Accepting freindship offers just reinforces the idea in thier mind that they're offering you something friendly, when in fact what they are proposing is that you sumbit yourself to emotional torture while pretending you like it. Telling them off or rudely ignoring them may seem harsh, but maybe they'll finally get the message that what they are doing to guys is cruel.
Of course then what I should really do is get that inventor guy from the other story to build a wireless keyboard out of his paper computer technology.
Is it just me? I only use 3-5 of my fingers to type, and although I don't do it consciously, I do need to peek at the keys from time to time to physically hit the keys I think I'm hitting. I still manage about 30 wpm like this plus I can type just as well with one hand on the mouse and one on the keyboard. For this to work for crappy typists like myself, there would need to be a heads up display or VR goggles to provide a visual keyboard and it would have to allow any finger to hit any key, which I don't think this would allow.
I'm pretty big on dating geek girls only, and this is why. Most of my conversations with non-nerds go like this.
Girl - So what's your major?
Me- Electrical Engineering
Girl - Oh, that sounds hard.
Me - Yeah, but I've been been into electronics since I was 12 and started tinkering with stuff in my dad's garage. I love it! So, what about you? What's your major?
Girl [sheepishly] - English
Me [trying to hide my disapointment] - Oh, so why did you choose that?
Girl - I don't know. My parents made me go to college, English seemed easy.
Me - Well, what kind of career do you want?
Girl - I don't know. All my friends are going into teaching so maybe I'll do that.
Me - Well, what are your goals?
Girl - [shrugs]
Me - What do you want out of life?
Girl - I never really thought about it.
At this point I it takes all of my willpower to not explode into saying "How can you not think about your life?!? Do you use your brain for anything besides keeping your ears spaced apart, you mindless piece of fluff!?!?!?"
Really this is how I divide the world into nerd/non-nerd, nerds are the people who aren't brainless sheep like the girl above. This doesn't always correspond to the stereotypical glasses wearing, computer-loving, no social life, Star Trek fan; but most of the time it is spookily acurate. And when I do run into un-nerdy people who have a brain, I consider them to be nerds anyway (just ones who don't fit in well with the rest of us geeks).
Ok, I exagerate I have met and dated women in real life. But seriously there is a 6 to 1 guy/girl ratio in my engineering classes, and if my summer internships are representative, the ratio is much worse out in the electronics industry.
Even if I was willing to lower my standards enough to date a non-nerd (I usually just want to strangle any non-nerd I'm forced to spend more than 5 minutes with) their opionion of me is usually even lower then my opinion of them. Even on the occations that I run into a non-geek that doesn't flee in terror from me and doesn't piss me off by being pathetically stupid, we have nothing in common and no way to break the ice.
I'm not addicted to my computer, in fact, it's my hobby of last resort when I can't think of anything else to do, but half of the women I've dated, I met online (not that that's a very big number). It's really one of the only places to find enough geek girls.
Had a similar situation myself. I met her when we first came to college. She already had a bf but I became good friends with her anyway in case they broke up. They did, she told me she wasn't interested in me (I never even said anything, she just picked up on my vibes or whatever). I stayed friends with her and waited for her to 'come around' and realize we were perfect for eachother.
She dated a couple of other guys, including one of my best friends (more on him later). Then she settled on this COMPLETE IDIOT who totally screwed up her personality. Thankfully he recently moved a few hundred miles away and without his presence sanity returns to her.
Thoughout all of this she was a total obsesion for me and it didn't help that she was very physically affectionate with her 'just friend', always hugging and holding hands, etc. She had me really screwed up for a long time, but when I didn't see her for long periods of time I tended to get a grip and move on.
So I started trying to avoid her, which actually seems to be the one thing that actually works. But there was a major snag. My two best friends are her brother and his roomate (the best friend mentioned above) and she hangs out with them constantly. So now I have to avoid them also, which sucks but it's better than living in hopeless obsesion. I still hang out with them if I run into them on 'neutral ground' (ie not at their place where she is likely to show up). I'm limited on hanging out with one of my other friends too because he's still stuck in the same obsesion with her that I'm breaking free of (she has this affect on lots of guys).
But life is moving on and she's pretty much out of my mind these days. I'm slowly making a new circle of friends. So I guess the moral is Australia is probably a good idea even though it seems crazy on the surface.
Slashdot Mirror
Amem to that! I second that sentiment whole-heartedly. As someone who's been on the receiving end of that line to many times, I have to say this is the only way to handle it. It's way too easy to go along with it, thinking "well friendship is valueable and better than nothing." But deeper down, you're really thinking "if I just show her how much I really care by being a devoted friend, she'll come around." Well it's never going to happen and you'll just end up bitter and frustrated, while trapped in a situation where you think you have to continue to smile and be friendly when you really are having your heart jerked around painfully.
Don't do it! Walk away, as rudely as possible! And don't look back! Accepting freindship offers just reinforces the idea in thier mind that they're offering you something friendly, when in fact what they are proposing is that you sumbit yourself to emotional torture while pretending you like it. Telling them off or rudely ignoring them may seem harsh, but maybe they'll finally get the message that what they are doing to guys is cruel.
Of course then what I should really do is get that inventor guy from the other story to build a wireless keyboard out of his paper computer technology.
Is it just me? I only use 3-5 of my fingers to type, and although I don't do it consciously, I do need to peek at the keys from time to time to physically hit the keys I think I'm hitting. I still manage about 30 wpm like this plus I can type just as well with one hand on the mouse and one on the keyboard. For this to work for crappy typists like myself, there would need to be a heads up display or VR goggles to provide a visual keyboard and it would have to allow any finger to hit any key, which I don't think this would allow.
Girl - So what's your major?
Me- Electrical Engineering
Girl - Oh, that sounds hard.
Me - Yeah, but I've been been into electronics since I was 12 and started tinkering with stuff in my dad's garage. I love it! So, what about you? What's your major?
Girl [sheepishly] - English
Me [trying to hide my disapointment] - Oh, so why did you choose that?
Girl - I don't know. My parents made me go to college, English seemed easy.
Me - Well, what kind of career do you want?
Girl - I don't know. All my friends are going into teaching so maybe I'll do that.
Me - Well, what are your goals?
Girl - [shrugs]
Me - What do you want out of life?
Girl - I never really thought about it.
At this point I it takes all of my willpower to not explode into saying "How can you not think about your life?!? Do you use your brain for anything besides keeping your ears spaced apart, you mindless piece of fluff!?!?!?"
Really this is how I divide the world into nerd/non-nerd, nerds are the people who aren't brainless sheep like the girl above. This doesn't always correspond to the stereotypical glasses wearing, computer-loving, no social life, Star Trek fan; but most of the time it is spookily acurate. And when I do run into un-nerdy people who have a brain, I consider them to be nerds anyway (just ones who don't fit in well with the rest of us geeks).
Ok, I exagerate I have met and dated women in real life. But seriously there is a 6 to 1 guy/girl ratio in my engineering classes, and if my summer internships are representative, the ratio is much worse out in the electronics industry.
Even if I was willing to lower my standards enough to date a non-nerd (I usually just want to strangle any non-nerd I'm forced to spend more than 5 minutes with) their opionion of me is usually even lower then my opinion of them. Even on the occations that I run into a non-geek that doesn't flee in terror from me and doesn't piss me off by being pathetically stupid, we have nothing in common and no way to break the ice.
I'm not addicted to my computer, in fact, it's my hobby of last resort when I can't think of anything else to do, but half of the women I've dated, I met online (not that that's a very big number). It's really one of the only places to find enough geek girls.
Had a similar situation myself. I met her when we first came to college. She already had a bf but I became good friends with her anyway in case they broke up. They did, she told me she wasn't interested in me (I never even said anything, she just picked up on my vibes or whatever). I stayed friends with her and waited for her to 'come around' and realize we were perfect for eachother.
She dated a couple of other guys, including one of my best friends (more on him later). Then she settled on this COMPLETE IDIOT who totally screwed up her personality. Thankfully he recently moved a few hundred miles away and without his presence sanity returns to her.
Thoughout all of this she was a total obsesion for me and it didn't help that she was very physically affectionate with her 'just friend', always hugging and holding hands, etc. She had me really screwed up for a long time, but when I didn't see her for long periods of time I tended to get a grip and move on.
So I started trying to avoid her, which actually seems to be the one thing that actually works. But there was a major snag. My two best friends are her brother and his roomate (the best friend mentioned above) and she hangs out with them constantly. So now I have to avoid them also, which sucks but it's better than living in hopeless obsesion. I still hang out with them if I run into them on 'neutral ground' (ie not at their place where she is likely to show up). I'm limited on hanging out with one of my other friends too because he's still stuck in the same obsesion with her that I'm breaking free of (she has this affect on lots of guys).
But life is moving on and she's pretty much out of my mind these days. I'm slowly making a new circle of friends. So I guess the moral is Australia is probably a good idea even though it seems crazy on the surface.