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User: Ethanol-fueled

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Comments · 3,135

  1. Re:Correlation =/= Causation. on Being Slightly Overweight May Lead To Longer Life · · Score: 5, Interesting

    As long as you had food, water, and pr0n you could live forever on your computer chair.

    Yeah, if you like bedsores on your ass!

    There aren't enough details to decide but I could understand how being slightly overweight could be beneficial to women in particular. There's a reason why women like these and this were considered the most attractive in antiquity. Chubby is coming back in style ;)

    Even today many guys like me prefer chubby women - they're softer to cuddle with, they tend to have bigger and more plump breasts, they're curvature is accentuated and their plumpness makes them look "cuter", they're better-equipped to have healthy babies, and (in my experience) they have more orgasms. The homos out there are aware of the popularity of "bears".

    I'm glad that the starving, anorexic "heroin-chic" fad is going out the door. One can be fit and comfortable without having to go hungry or be unattractively obese. Vanity, like eating, is unattractive in excess.

  2. Re:Zuckerberg is a cocksucker on The Battle Between Google and Facebook · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    He's not such a bad guy. He zucked my dick last night.

  3. Re:Existential rights on FBI Files a "Secret Justification" For Gag Order · · Score: -1, Flamebait

    Because the FBI are just a gaggle of incompetent Catholic and Mormon scumbags yearning for the good ol' days of the inquisition.

    That's what happens when little god-fearing geeks who watched too many cop shows as children grow up to do their god's bidding using any means possible. And the motherfuckers can't even catch any real crooks.

  4. Re:Interesting...and so's this! on Tennesee Man Charged In "Virtual Pornography" Case · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    It's quite possible that he did molest those children, but it's also quite obvious that he's still a child himself.

    Being subjected to the abuse of his father and the warped reality which comes with fame and stardom will do that. You can't have a look at his face and his Peter Pan complexes without knowing that he has problems other than loving children too much.

    Children tend to be sexually curious and M.J. is no exception.

  5. Re:This is America on Middle-School Strip Search Ruled Unconstitutional · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Strange, isn't it? The people I've met there are reasonable.

    Maybe...but don't forget about the broomstick incident, noose incident, and hacking incident aside from the aforementioned underwear check.

    But maybe I'm just biased, my spoiled bitchy ex also attended Rancho Bernardo High school. To clarify, the school is in a very well-off part of San diego, not in some Santee or Barrio Logan ghetto!

  6. Re:This is America on Middle-School Strip Search Ruled Unconstitutional · · Score: 5, Interesting
    Hey, at least that time they were actually looking for drugs.

    Awhile back in a suburb of San Diego, an overzealous administrator had the good idea to round up all of the girls at the dance and check their panties so that the filthy whores wearing thongs(or less) could be sent home to change.

    And about that, from the link:

    Garvik's sophomore daughter was forced to go home and change before she could enter the dance, although thongs are not barred in the school dress code. The code states that undergarments, including "boxers, tank-top undershirts or underwear" should not be exposed.

    Some people with authority(especially those in certain government agencies, but I digress) seem to make up the rules as they go along. That's what makes them dangerous.

  7. Re:XP = Vista for upgrade pricing on Microsoft Discloses Windows 7 Pricing · · Score: -1, Troll

    Vista is a steaming pile of bloated fatty shits, the kind which clog your toilet. 7 is a steaming pile of bloated fatty shits, but it won't clog your toilet.

    XP is what Ubuntu wishes it could be.

    -1, true

  8. Re:If you want ScummVMs take on this on Atari Sub-Sub-Contractor Used ScummVM For Wii Game · · Score: 1

    It is informative because the poster told us what in the link was informative so that our lazy asses wouldn't have to look ourselves. It differs from karma whoring in that karma whoring is usually not a reply to set another poster straight.

  9. Re:Easy Answer on NIH Spends $400K To Figure Out Why Men Don't Like Condoms · · Score: 1

    Try these. They're sold at sex shops and office supply stores everywhere.

  10. Re:Easy Answer on NIH Spends $400K To Figure Out Why Men Don't Like Condoms · · Score: 5, Informative

    No man would rather wear a condom if people didn't have pregnancies and STDs to worry about.

    There should be more R&D funding into liquid condoms, which are basically a spermicidal lube infused with nonoxynol-9. Problem is that many women complain about nonoxynol-9 being too harsh, causing itching or burning. Nevertheless, the liquid condom would be the best solution because, let's face it, condoms do not prevent bodily juices from getting into uncovered parts.

    Finally, condom manufacturers should offer more variance with respect to sizes. My favorite kind, Trojan Large, have been discontinued. The Magnums are too large for my weenie and regulars are too tight.

    My endorsements for men with slightly above-average penises are Kimono and jimmiehatz, which are black and may be weird for you and your partner if having a black dick is a problem.

  11. Re:Proof of that Statement? on Sothink Violated the FlashGot GPL and Stole Code · · Score: 5, Funny
    From the summary:

    This is why most good programmers will stop contributing to the global community because there are those who will steal their work, pass it off as their own, never acknowledge or give credit, and then shamefully stick their head in the sand and ignore the consequences."

    THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS.

  12. Re:National Security? on EFF and PK Reluctantly Drop Lawsuit For ACTA Info · · Score: 1

    Because "national security" depends on America being able to control the world with our shitty pop culture.

    Foreigners are hooked on it. When they get it for free, our influence and our revenue streams, along with the ability to defend ourselves, go bye-bye.

  13. Re:Anti-Internet Freedom Agreement on EFF and PK Reluctantly Drop Lawsuit For ACTA Info · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Sooner or later it's all going to come down to whether you are willing to risk death for your cause as the Iranian protesters are. Do you believe that the sociopaths in $COUNTRY's legislative branch (in America, the chief executive is but a puppet) are going to cry crocodile tears rather than spend the contribution money to remodel their bathroom?

    You will die an honorable death, dishonored and labelled a terrorist.

  14. Re:It doesn't matter on Memory Usage of Chrome, Firefox 3.5, et al. · · Score: 1

    Probably just the NSA backdoors.

  15. Re:kiddie porn "research" on German Member of Parliament Joins Pirate Party · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Bullshit.

    Bust the sick fuck who made the content and bust the next layer of people who paid for or profited from the content.

    After that, we hit the slippery-slope type arguments like "people who experiment with marijuana will go on to use cocaine" or "people who download child porn for free via p2p will go on to be molesters".

    If they pay for the shit? Okay, fair game, but you forget that the vast majority of molestations are committed by family members and other trusted associates and not creepy guys in trenchcoats sitting on the park bench, eyeing little girls with bad intent (with apologies to Jethro Tull).

    You are experiencing an emotional knee-jerk reaction. Respectfully, please quit watching Chris Hansen and other manufactured mass media, read a few psych books and come back after you comprehend the post you responded to.

  16. Re:IE8, huh? on Memory Usage of Chrome, Firefox 3.5, et al. · · Score: 1

    I couldn't find a way to keep it from BLOWING so forcefully all the air was evacuated from my office every time it was run.

    Fixed that for 'ya, Phil.

  17. Re:It doesn't matter on Memory Usage of Chrome, Firefox 3.5, et al. · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Something like "it doesn't show weird ass icons and bars when Slashdot decides to change CSS" is probably much more important.

    I'm no web developer, but I don't quite believe that those artifacts are Firefox's fault. Why the staff would make broken changes on a live site is anybody's guess. Those artifacts are relatively minor annoyances but they won't serve the people who are considering switching to Linux and getting into open source only to discover that the primary forum for Linux nerds is every bit as broken as the Linux their Microsoft-loving buddies describe.

  18. Re:kiddie porn "research" on German Member of Parliament Joins Pirate Party · · Score: 4, Funny

    Why don't you have a seat over here and tell me what you are doing with 9 year-old ballerinas in your thumbnail cache?

  19. Re:kiddie porn "research" on German Member of Parliament Joins Pirate Party · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Right. I don't look at the stuff either, but most people assume that people who do view it are ruthless predators - who are one step away from snatching a kid from the park - without taking into account that it's possible that some people child porn imagining themselves to be the kid and not the adult.

    MILF and schoolteacher fantasies anyone? Schoolgirl fantasies? Maybe schoolgirl costumes should be banned because every guy who buys one for his wife or halloween date is a sadistic pedophile.

    While we're at it, let's assume that every chick who wears a schoolgirl outfit, or every horny boy who imagines banging his hawt teacher are not indulging fantasies known to be normal since antiquity. Let's assume that they are disturbed and confused and should seek counseling along with heavy doses of behavior modification and the stigma associated with victimhood! [/sarcasm]

    As an aside, I find it disturbing that many folks are afraid to post the words "child pornography" on slashdot without obfuscating it to CP or ch*ld pr0n even while anonymous.

  20. Re:Main blocker on State of Sound Development On Linux Not So Sorry After All · · Score: -1, Troll

    Both Stallman and Linuxs get sucked off by their own fanboys, but Stallman's fanboys are more obvious because they have pustulating red blisters around their lips.

  21. Re:Choice of cases? on ACLU Sues DHS Over Unlawful Searches and Detention · · Score: 4, Insightful

    DHS is just a solution looking for a problem.

  22. Re:We use Nod32 on Central Anti-Virus For Small Business? · · Score: 1

    Nah. Shit, even "Caldera Linux or Unixware on all workstations" would have had a higher score than the FP. Just goes to show that people who are capable of learning GUI menus are incapable of learning slightly different GUI menus.

  23. Re:Francis Collins and "cdesign proponentism" on Renowned Geneticist Analyzes Consumer DNA Tests · · Score: 2, Funny

    HAIL SATAN.

  24. Re:We use Nod32 on Central Anti-Virus For Small Business? · · Score: 5, Funny

    Uh, Linux bro. On all the workstations. That's what you were supposed to say.

    Sheesh. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to boot back into my XP partition so that I may run all of my expensive, legitimate software.

  25. Re:Francis Collins and "cdesign proponentism" on Renowned Geneticist Analyzes Consumer DNA Tests · · Score: 1

    I like the Greek gods. They became intoxicated, had affairs...they were imperfect.

    Jesus Christ was a pretty cool dude, but he was too perfect. Like Dostoevsky's Idiot, it was only a matter of time until he was thrown to the sidelines muttering and babbling to himself while the Grand Inquisitors siezed power.