Security experts first recommended "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? STOP USING THE IE TOXIC WASTE FIREHOSE!" in 2004. So far 20% of people appear to have gotten the message. Perhaps it's a Darwinian process at this stage.
Here's a picture by Joi Ito of a mechanical router, on display in a Tokyo museum. The engine of the steampunk Internet. Imagine BBs being pumped through the series of pneumatic tubes. "ROUTER BLOWOUT! SEVEN SYSADMINS SHOT DEAD BY THEIR ANALYTICAL ENGINES!"
If you're browsing with Chrome, don't forget to click the special page about:internets.
I am using Vista on a netbook, a 19 inch Eee with only 8 core 2 duo chips and 16GB of memory, and it's fantastic. I don't know what all you people are complaining about, saying it's "slow" and "fat."
The quality and intelligence of graffiti is inversely proportional to the difficulty in putting it wherever it is. Dangerous spots on train lines? Misspelt tags. Quiet abandoned swimming pools? Computer scientists with spray cans. Now, that's Perl in Popular Culture!
You, the Google Search/Gmail/Chrome user are the "product". The advertisers are the "customer". The servies on offer are the "bait". It's the television model.
Google will give you their web and email services, photo processing, mapping, and office applications and software that will make you a cup of tea. This is all paid for by personally-directed text ads in your tea leaves, based on analysing a DNA sample taken when you sip the tea and sending your genetic code back to Google for future targeting.
Google will maintain complete confidentiality within the marketing department of whatever they gather concerning your confidential business data, bank account details, medical information and personal preferences in pornography. "We're Google. We know where you live. In a completely not evil way. Sponsored link: Get Chrome Browsers on google.com. Or we'll make you use Windows Live. MuWAAAAhahaha. Sorry, that's my 'spreading Christmas cheer' laugh. Really."
In honour of the LHC starting up in September, my girlfriend made some celebratory cookies... of the Large Hadron Goatse. Note the gold ring.
Ah, but don't go home with your hadron
It will only drive you insane
You can't shake it (or break it) with your Motown
You can't melt it down in the rain.
The Large Hardon Collider is designed to pump various types of hardon up to huge energies before banging them together. However, many concerned citizens without the personal experience or understanding of what hardons do worry at the idea of the large hardons being sucked deep into a black hole.
The device will push large, energised hardons through a ring repeatedly, faster and faster, as smoothly and tightly as possible, until they clash and spray matter in all directions. "It's nothing that cosmic rays don't do all the time all over the place," reassured a particularly buff scientist. "It's perfectly right and natural."
Low-energy hardon physics and the temperature dependence of hardon production are well understood, as is the process of a hardon smoothly entering the nucleus. But some question what may happen at greater, hotter energies.
Church leaders have come out at the device. "They're the same polarity!" said Pope Palpatine XVI. The Church worries that strange matter may recruit normal matter and turn it strange.
After a premature ejaculation of gas, the Large Hardon Collider has been delayed until July 2009. "I'm so sorry," stammered a scientist, "this has never happened to us before."
"We absolutely promise that we only want to completely screw over Microsoft with this, and certainly not Mozilla Firefox," said Google's Sundar Pichai. "That we put a pile of our sponsored Mozilla developers on the project is completely irrelevant. We're not evil, remember."
"We are so, so happy with Google Chrome," mumbled Mozilla CEO John Lilly through gritted teeth. "That most of our income is from Google has no bearing on me making this statement."
Microsoft was unfazed. "Browsers don't need to be integrated with online apps," said marketing developer Ian Moulster. "Certainly not like the operating system... I'll just get back to you."
Google's new browser will give you their web and email services, photo processing, mapping, office applications that will run in said browser and will make you a cup of tea. This is all paid for by personally-directed text ads in your tea leaves, based on analysing a DNA sample taken when you sip the tea and sending your genetic code back to Google for future targeting.
Pichai stressed that Google would maintain complete confidentiality within the marketing department of whatever the browser accessed concerning your confidential business data, bank account details, medical information and personal preferences in pornography. "We're Google. We know where you live. In a completely not evil way. Sponsored link: Get Chrome Browsers on google.com. Or we'll make you use Windows Live."
Slashdot Mirror
Couldn't have put it better!
The very scariest thing about the computers sending serious amounts of money around?
They're almost all Excel spreadsheets.
Yes, seriously.
*applause*
Security experts first recommended "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? STOP USING THE IE TOXIC WASTE FIREHOSE!" in 2004. So far 20% of people appear to have gotten the message. Perhaps it's a Darwinian process at this stage.
Here's a picture by Joi Ito of a mechanical router, on display in a Tokyo museum. The engine of the steampunk Internet. Imagine BBs being pumped through the series of pneumatic tubes. "ROUTER BLOWOUT! SEVEN SYSADMINS SHOT DEAD BY THEIR ANALYTICAL ENGINES!"
If you're browsing with Chrome, don't forget to click the special page about:internets.
This isn't competing with anything. Wine continues to work better and better.
If Codeweavers could sell a supported working Windows substitute, they could have a hell of a lot bigger market than they do now.
It works perfectly! It'll run your Windows NT PPC programs flawlessly!
(This is actually as true as it is useless.)
Winux!
Microtroll, hard working and microshilling for Bill and Steve. You run out of mod points this time around?
I am using Vista on a netbook, a 19 inch Eee with only 8 core 2 duo chips and 16GB of memory, and it's fantastic. I don't know what all you people are complaining about, saying it's "slow" and "fat."
That was me, if you wanna wreck my karma. (Ticked the anon box accidentally.)
The quality and intelligence of graffiti is inversely proportional to the difficulty in putting it wherever it is. Dangerous spots on train lines? Misspelt tags. Quiet abandoned swimming pools? Computer scientists with spray cans. Now, that's Perl in Popular Culture!
Just give 'em gigantic pounding thrust, none o' this wussing about with plasma. OXYGEN AND KEROSENE. It was good enough for Wernher von Braun!
But it's OK! They're not evil!
See? Evil will win, because Good is Dumb!
You, the Google Search/Gmail/Chrome user are the "product". The advertisers are the "customer". The servies on offer are the "bait". It's the television model.
Not to mention the people of Apple. Evil all the way. But shiny, shiny evil, that's pretty and cool and works and gets the chicks.
Google will give you their web and email services, photo processing, mapping, and office applications and software that will make you a cup of tea. This is all paid for by personally-directed text ads in your tea leaves, based on analysing a DNA sample taken when you sip the tea and sending your genetic code back to Google for future targeting.
Google will maintain complete confidentiality within the marketing department of whatever they gather concerning your confidential business data, bank account details, medical information and personal preferences in pornography. "We're Google. We know where you live. In a completely not evil way. Sponsored link: Get Chrome Browsers on google.com. Or we'll make you use Windows Live. MuWAAAAhahaha. Sorry, that's my 'spreading Christmas cheer' laugh. Really."
How black holes open up.
In honour of the LHC starting up in September, my girlfriend made some celebratory cookies ... of the Large Hadron Goatse. Note the gold ring.
Ah, but don't go home with your hadron
It will only drive you insane
You can't shake it (or break it) with your Motown
You can't melt it down in the rain.
The Large Hardon Collider is designed to pump various types of hardon up to huge energies before banging them together. However, many concerned citizens without the personal experience or understanding of what hardons do worry at the idea of the large hardons being sucked deep into a black hole.
The device will push large, energised hardons through a ring repeatedly, faster and faster, as smoothly and tightly as possible, until they clash and spray matter in all directions. "It's nothing that cosmic rays don't do all the time all over the place," reassured a particularly buff scientist. "It's perfectly right and natural."
Low-energy hardon physics and the temperature dependence of hardon production are well understood, as is the process of a hardon smoothly entering the nucleus. But some question what may happen at greater, hotter energies.
Church leaders have come out at the device. "They're the same polarity!" said Pope Palpatine XVI. The Church worries that strange matter may recruit normal matter and turn it strange.
After a premature ejaculation of gas, the Large Hardon Collider has been delayed until July 2009. "I'm so sorry," stammered a scientist, "this has never happened to us before."
Emoticon nail decals :-) :-D :-X
Useful when you want to take care which finger you raise to someone.
Real rockets for real men! *joy*
Big "Falcon" engine ... I bet.
"We absolutely promise that we only want to completely screw over Microsoft with this, and certainly not Mozilla Firefox," said Google's Sundar Pichai. "That we put a pile of our sponsored Mozilla developers on the project is completely irrelevant. We're not evil, remember."
"We are so, so happy with Google Chrome," mumbled Mozilla CEO John Lilly through gritted teeth. "That most of our income is from Google has no bearing on me making this statement."
Microsoft was unfazed. "Browsers don't need to be integrated with online apps," said marketing developer Ian Moulster. "Certainly not like the operating system ... I'll just get back to you."
Google's new browser will give you their web and email services, photo processing, mapping, office applications that will run in said browser and will make you a cup of tea. This is all paid for by personally-directed text ads in your tea leaves, based on analysing a DNA sample taken when you sip the tea and sending your genetic code back to Google for future targeting.
Pichai stressed that Google would maintain complete confidentiality within the marketing department of whatever the browser accessed concerning your confidential business data, bank account details, medical information and personal preferences in pornography. "We're Google. We know where you live. In a completely not evil way. Sponsored link: Get Chrome Browsers on google.com. Or we'll make you use Windows Live."
How the hell did that get "informative", "troll"?