(I forgot the stupid p tags. My apologies. Been awhile since I wrote straight html. Here's the post reformatted correctly:)
... and the people would sing many praises unto me. (Caveat: I really am a patent lawyer. If the moderators feel this should disqualify me, so be it.)
I claim:
1) A method of advertising products and services comprising the steps of: A) Selecting a plurality of products or services to be advertised; B) Preparing a plurality of statements regarding the products or services to be advertised; C) Preparing a message containing the statements which can be transmitted via an electronic messaging system; D) Obtaining a plurality of addresses to which the message can be transmitted using the electronic messaging system, and; E) Transmitting the message to the addresses using the electronic messaging system.
2) The method of Claim 1, wherein the addresses are obtained randomly and the message is transmitted to all addresses so obtained.
3) The method of Claim 1 or Claim 2, wherein the process is repeated indefinitely.
4) The method of Claim 1 or Claim 2, wherein the addresses include at least one centralized message serving location.
5) The method of Claim 3, wherein the addresses include at least one centralized message serving location.
D
(I'm sure you got it - this is a spoiler for the other guy. This is a patent on SPAM. There is also an objectionable use of language in the claim. First person to email me with what it is wins one lollypop.)
... and the people would sing many praises unto me. (Caveat: I really am a patent lawyer. If the moderators feel this should disqualify me, so be it.)
I claim:
1) A method of advertising products and services comprising the steps of:
A) Selecting a plurality of products or services to be advertised;
B) Preparing a plurality of statements regarding the products or services to be advertised;
C) Preparing a message containing the statements which can be transmitted via an electronic messaging system;
D) Obtaining a plurality of addresses to which the message can be transmitted using the electronic messaging system, and;
E) Transmitting the message to the addresses using the electronic messaging system.
2) The method of Claim 1, wherein the addresses are obtained randomly and the message is transmitted to all addresses so obtained.
3) The method of Claim 1 or Claim 2, wherein the process is repeated indefinitely.
4) The method of Claim 1 or Claim 2, wherein the addresses include at least one centralized message serving location.
5) The method of Claim 3, wherein the addresses include at least one centralized message serving location.
D
(I'm sure you got it - this is a spoiler for the other guy. This is a patent on SPAM. There is also an objectionable use of language in the claim. First person to email me with what it is wins one lollypop.)
...just be sure to engrave the exact precise ambient temperature, air pressure, humidity, light pressure (how precise are we getting here?)and so forth on the *back* of the bar for when you read it out.
Oh, and make sure the bar doesn't lose any dimension to oxidation or other factors. (I.E. Rust, diffusion, proton decay???) The amount of material actually lost is vanishingly small, true, unless you took your iron bar from the body of a '72 Pinto, but again, how precise do you need it to be? Say you store a CD-R worth on there. Call it 650MB. Turn 650MB into a single decimal number. That's a required precision of 665,600,000 decimal places. (Assuming no compression system.) Whoa. The genetic thing is looking better and better...
Somebody did write this story... as I recall he was worried about music being lost in the event of societal collapse, and he made a machine that would turn musical scores into animals and back again. It was pretty funny: the animal sort of corresponded to the musical style. With Wagner you got a big bear-like thing, with Tchaikovsky you got a little swarm of bee-like things, etc. His basic premise was that if music could defend itself then it would have a fair chance to survive.
Unfortunately, what happened was that the animals mutated/evolved and the music changed. The Wagner-beast went around eating the other animals, etc. It didn't work out so good.
It's in the Science Fiction Hall of Fame 4-Volume treasury, I think.
Slashdot Mirror
*cough*IknowIforgot*cough*
I claim:
1) A method of advertising products and services comprising the steps of:
A) Selecting a plurality of products or services to be advertised;
B) Preparing a plurality of statements regarding the products or services to be advertised;
C) Preparing a message containing the statements which can be transmitted via an electronic messaging system;
D) Obtaining a plurality of addresses to which the message can be transmitted using the electronic messaging system, and;
E) Transmitting the message to the addresses using the electronic messaging system.
2) The method of Claim 1, wherein the addresses are obtained randomly and the message is transmitted to all addresses so obtained.
3) The method of Claim 1 or Claim 2, wherein the process is repeated indefinitely.
4) The method of Claim 1 or Claim 2, wherein the addresses include at least one centralized message serving location.
5) The method of Claim 3, wherein the addresses include at least one centralized message serving location.
D
(I'm sure you got it - this is a spoiler for the other guy. This is a patent on SPAM. There is also an objectionable use of language in the claim. First person to email me with what it is wins one lollypop.)
... and the people would sing many praises unto me. (Caveat: I really am a patent lawyer. If the moderators feel this should disqualify me, so be it.) I claim: 1) A method of advertising products and services comprising the steps of: A) Selecting a plurality of products or services to be advertised; B) Preparing a plurality of statements regarding the products or services to be advertised; C) Preparing a message containing the statements which can be transmitted via an electronic messaging system; D) Obtaining a plurality of addresses to which the message can be transmitted using the electronic messaging system, and; E) Transmitting the message to the addresses using the electronic messaging system. 2) The method of Claim 1, wherein the addresses are obtained randomly and the message is transmitted to all addresses so obtained. 3) The method of Claim 1 or Claim 2, wherein the process is repeated indefinitely. 4) The method of Claim 1 or Claim 2, wherein the addresses include at least one centralized message serving location. 5) The method of Claim 3, wherein the addresses include at least one centralized message serving location. D (I'm sure you got it - this is a spoiler for the other guy. This is a patent on SPAM. There is also an objectionable use of language in the claim. First person to email me with what it is wins one lollypop.)
Oh, and make sure the bar doesn't lose any dimension to oxidation or other factors. (I.E. Rust, diffusion, proton decay???) The amount of material actually lost is vanishingly small, true, unless you took your iron bar from the body of a '72 Pinto, but again, how precise do you need it to be? Say you store a CD-R worth on there. Call it 650MB. Turn 650MB into a single decimal number. That's a required precision of 665,600,000 decimal places. (Assuming no compression system.) Whoa. The genetic thing is looking better and better...
D
Somebody did write this story... as I recall he was worried about music being lost in the event of societal collapse, and he made a machine that would turn musical scores into animals and back again. It was pretty funny: the animal sort of corresponded to the musical style. With Wagner you got a big bear-like thing, with Tchaikovsky you got a little swarm of bee-like things, etc. His basic premise was that if music could defend itself then it would have a fair chance to survive.
Unfortunately, what happened was that the animals mutated/evolved and the music changed. The Wagner-beast went around eating the other animals, etc. It didn't work out so good.
It's in the Science Fiction Hall of Fame 4-Volume treasury, I think.
D