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User: Green+Monkey

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  1. The L600 isn't really a game console on Can Indrema Beat Microsoft To the Punch? · · Score: 5
    The Indrema L600 is just another "set-top box" (read: psuedo-PC) machine, along the lines of the 3DO, CD-i, and NuON. If you've never heard of any of those machines, there's a reason: They all flopped. Miserably. (3DO later went on to become a PC game publisher, though.) Despite what a lot of corporations want to believe, consumers just don't want an all-in-one web browser / game console / e-mail client. If people want games and Internet utilities, they can buy a PC -- or they can buy a console if they just want games.

    Nowhere does Indrema even refer to its machine as a games console; gaming is just one of many jack-of-all-trades, master-of-none "features". It's mentioned that it can play Quake and Unreal Tournament, but so can a PC. Neither of those games are exclusive, either, and exclusive games are what really determines a console's success (why would I want to buy Indrema Quake when I just play it on my Linux box?). Given that it's not even being pushed as a game console, the chances of this console getting support from any important third-party console developer (Konami, Capcom, Square, etc.) is just about nil.

    Sorry to rain on the parade, but this isn't a game console, let alone a commercially viable one. An actual Linux-based console would be very interesting to see, but we're going to have to wait a while longer before it actually appears.

  2. Not quite true... on Microsoft Unveils The X Box · · Score: 2
    Nintendo only requires that Nintendo 64 versions of games released on other console systems (PC games aren't counted) contain an exclusive feature -- not that the entire game is exclusive. Usually, the companies will then add different exclusive features to the other platforms. For example, Resident Evil 2 has appeared on the PlayStation, Dreamcast, and Nintendo 64 (plus the PC); each version had its own features -- the PlayStation version had extra playable characters you could choose if you got a high ranking, the Dreamcast one came with the soundtrack and a demo of Resident Evil: Code Veronica (the DC Resident Evil game), and the Nintendo 64 version had a few extra "notes" that give additional background info on the game's story.

    I think this restriction also only lasts for a year -- once a year has passed from the Nintendo 64 version's release, the game can be freely ported to any platform.

    (AFAIK, I don't think Nintendo has any special rules governing the Game Boy Color.)

    </karmawhoring>

  3. MS wasn't really involved with the Dreamcast, no on Microsoft Unveils The X Box · · Score: 1
    The Dreamcast uses a modified version of Windows CE as its operating system (as evidenced by the WinCE logo on the front ;) ), but Microsoft wasn't involved with any of the hardware / software development.

    There were rumors that Sega might back the X-Box, but those have apparently not panned out

  4. Coming Attractions on Interview with Christopher Blizzard · · Score: 5
    "KARMA"
    In this controversial film (currently being protested by the Anti-Troll Defamation League), two trolls whose Slashdot accounts have been temporarily disabled discover a loophole that will enable them to return to the site -- but which will unmake the universe in the process. Can CmdrTaco patch the code before it's too late?

    "HOT GRITS CLUB"
    In the near future, angry young men turn to pouring hot grits down their pants to escape from their meaningless, materialistic lives. Remember, the first rule about Hot Grits Club is that you don't talk about Hot Grits Club.

    "/DEV/NULLINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY"
    When the DVDCCA sends cyborgs back in time to kill young Jon Johansen before he can create DeCSS, it's up to Arnold Schwarznegger to save Johansen, stop the DVDCCA, and coin as many cultural catchphrases as possible.

    "THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT NATALIE"
    A romantic comedy in which two guys chase after every Slashdot reader's dream girl. Features an exciting encounter between Natalie Portman and Medusa.

    "THE HOLLAND WITCH PROJECT"
    In October of 1994, three Slashdot editors disappeared into the library in Holland, Michigan, while writing a Slashdot exposé. A year later their story was found."

    "THE SIXTH POST"
    "I see trolls." Bruce Willis plays a psychologist working with a small boy who sees Slashdot posts no one else does. (Watch for the shocking plot twist, in which it is revealed that the boy is reading at -1.)

    "MOZILLA 2000"
    Feature bloat causes Mozilla to grow beyond its creators' control and escape to wreck havoc on Tokyo's computers. A special effects extravaganza ensues -- but will audiences return after 1998's flop "Geeko vs. Mecha-Go!Zilla"?

    "TRANSMETA CRUSOE"
    Linus Torvalds is shipwrecked on a distant isle and must survive with only a Rio, the Linux kernel, and an AIBO. An adaption of the classic novel.

    "THE X-WINDOWS-FILES: FIGHT THE FUTURE"
    Hemos and CmdrTaco investigate the conspiracies surrounding the development of X-Windows. Based on the hit TV series.

  5. Off-Topic: Slashdot Celebrity Deathmatch #1 on Is The Fabric of Space-Time Woven With Noise? · · Score: 4
    SLASHDOT CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH No. 1: Tux vs. the BSD daemon

    Announcer: Good evening and welcome to another exciting round of Slashdot Celebrity Deathmatch. We've got quite an exciting matchup for you tonight. In the left corner is our plucky but not-quite-GPL challenger, the BSD daemon!

    (The BSD daemon strikes a pose for the crowd. The crowd cheers.)

    Announcer: And in the right corner we have the most electrifying name in open source entertainment... the one, the only, TUX THE PENGUIN!

    (Silence)

    Announcer: ...but what's this? It seems that Tux isn't even in the ring.

    BSD Daemon: There's no one to fight here!

    (The crowd gasps)

    Announcer: This is highly peculiar. If Tux does not arrive within the next five minutes, he'll have to forfeit the match.

    BSD Daemon: And then we'll pour hot grits down his pants!

    (Tux finally enters the stadium, running. He's carrying a briefcase and a cell phone.)

    Tux: Hi, I just got back from posing for my new Linux Business icon. Sorry I'm late.

    BSD Daemon: Hey, what's with that? How come there's no BSD Business icon? LINUX BIAS!

    Tux: BSD sucks!

    BSD Daemon: No, Linux sucks!

    Tux: I said it first! By the way, the color scheme on your Slashdot section is really ugly.

    BSD Daemon: When we last met, you were the master and I was the apprentice. Now, the circle is complete. (his pitchfork lights up)

    Tux: (strikes martial arts pose) There can be only one!

    BSD Daemon: Ha! You don't have a chance against the power of my Naked And Petrified Ray!

    Tux: (rolls eyes) I don't even wear clothes. I'm already naked. Tee hee.

    BSD Daemon: No, you're wearing that tie.

    Tux: (looks down at his tie) Oops, so I am. (He pulls the tie off) Let's get ready to rumble!

    BSD Daemon: Can you smell what the daemon's cookin'?

    Tux: Na na na na na na. (starts putting mousse on his hair)

    BSD Daemon: What the hell are you doing?

    (Tux pulls his hair feathers up to form spikes)

    Tux: SUPAAAA HAAAADO! (He starts glowing and flies into the air)

    Announcer: Wow, it's Super Saiyajin Tux!

    Tux: I'll send you to /dev/null! Super Ultimate Reverse Neo Cross Dimension Magical Karma Blast!

    (Tux starts charging up a huge karma energy beam)

    Announcer: Uh-oh, this could be trouble for the daemon!

    BSD Daemon: Take this! (He hurls a huge tarball at Tux and connects. The tar gets all over Tux's feathers, preventing Tux from flying.)

    (Tux falls to the mat)

    Announcer: Ouch! What a fall!

    BSD Daemon: Code freeze! (BSD Daemon throws a ball of ice at Tux and freezes him in place)

    Announcer: Oh! It looks like Tux has been frozen by the BSD daemon's Code Freeze spell!

    BSD Daemon: I've got you now, penguin!

    (Suddenly, the SuSE chameleon runs out of the crowd and jumps into the ring)

    Announcer: Here comes the SuSE chameleon! Tag team!

    BSD Daemon: Hey! That's cheating!

    (The SuSE chameleon flicks his tongue out at the daemon's pitchfork, catches it, and pulls it out of the daemon's hands)

    SuSE Chameleon: Gotcha!

    BSD Daemon: Arrrgh! All, right, fine, I'll fight you without my pitchfork! All I need is my patented Drunken Daemon Kung Fu. I learned it from a NINJA! He ate pancakes, too.

    Crowd: Gasp! He patented it!

    (A horde of angry /. readers rushes into the ring and starts beating on the daemon.)

    Announcer: What a surprise! An angry mob is attempting to tear the daemon from limb to limb! We certainly don't condone this kind of senseless violence, but I just can't stop thinking about what it will do for our ratings!

    (While the BSD daemon is being attacked, the SuSE chameleon puts on the Mandrake magician hat and waves the wand)

    Crowd: Plunk your magic twanger, SuSEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

    SuSE Chameleon: Release code! (he bops Tux on the head with the wand)

    (Tux comes out of stasis and starts charging up his karma blast again)

    (Meanwhile, BSD is still being attacked by the /. readers)

    BSD Daemon: Look! It's Jon Katz! (points randomlyinto the spectators)

    Angry Mob: Let's lynch him! (they run out of the ring and go looking for Katz)

    BSD Daemon: C'mon, I'll fight both of you at once.

    Tux: Eat my tie! (he fires his wave of karma energy at BSD. BSD gets moderated down to the mat.)

    Announcer: Wow! It looks like Tux moderated the daemon all the way down to -3! What a move!

    Tux: Suck it down! (TM ION Storm)

    Announcer: That's it for today, folks, but stay tuned next week for Mozilla vs. Mecha-Go!Zilla. Don't miss it!

  6. I'm not going to bother to moderate this post up on Virginia House Passes UCITA · · Score: 1

    Someone else will have to :)

  7. The solution...? on Virginia House Passes UCITA · · Score: 1
    Perhaps the solution to this problem lies in "set-top" boxes like Web TV or the new Dreamcast browser. Since they don't have any software to install, you'd be post whatever you want -- you wouldn't have had to agree to any EULA, so you could say whatever you wanted online. Amazing no one's thought of this...

    Green Monkey