Jon,
As always, you have hit the proverbial nail right on it's proverbial motherfucking head. The net is indeed invaluable in these times of trouble.
On 9/11 I jumped onto #current on irc.slashnet.org and found news updates being provided by people watching every conceivable news source (bbc, cnn, armed forces network, Al Jareeza, etc...) this was information that simply wouldn't be available otherwise.
EMACS: Effeminate Males Advocating Coercive Sodomy
FSF: Fiendish Society of Faggots
GNU: Gayness is Not Unusual
GNOME: Gay Nonce Of Mexican Extraction (Miguel de Icaza)
RMS: Rectums Made Sore
Hopefully this will improve your understanding of the Free Software movement.
--Shoeboy
1) And if you didn't hear me mention so-called 'clustering' solutions currently available from unnamed vendors, it's because they can't actually deliver these things -- not true Q.O.S. That's my opinion, anyway. Using a cluster to hide the fact that the underlying systems crash regularly is an extremely dangerous way to manage a computing environment.
Bullshit. No amount of bug fixes will eliminate crashes. I've seen smoke pouring from servers due to short circuts on the motherboard. I've seen array controlers give up the ghost, network cards bid this cruel world goodbye and absent minded tech power cycle the wrong box. I've worked for 3 (!) companies that have had entire datacenters lose power due to human error (Microsoft, Voicestream and Group Health).
Crashes happen and you have to have redundancy to deal with this. If you want to see a truly stable system, don't look at any Un*x. Un*x clustering solutions are bolted on and it shows. You want to look at a real high availability system like a Tandem system.
On a Tandem system you can lose a processor without dropping a single connection. You can lose a server and recover. It's built fault tolerant from the ground up.
If you're serious about high availability, this is the only way to go. Unix clustering is mostly shit - you really don't want it running a system that absolutely, positively can't go down.
Sure NT clustering is worse -- I did a study at Voicestream and found that our NT clusters had more downtime on average than our standalone NT systems, but Un*x clustering is nothing to write home about either. Saying that Un*x is more stable than NT is like saying that it's better to drink urine than eat shit. Sure it's true, but it's missing the big picture. VMS clusters are more stable than any Un*x solution and Tandem systems won't go down even if you start smashing processors with a mallet. That's what real stability means.
Is that lithography can be used to "machine" parts to greater tolerances than conventional processes. This means that bearings and joints can be more reliable and require less lubrication.
I'm sure you all realize what this could be used for...
It's a god-awful small affair
To the girl with the mousy hair
But her mummy is yelling "No"
And her daddy has told her to go
But her friend is nowhere to be seen
Now she walks through her sunken dream
To the seat with the clearest view
And she's hooked to the silver screen
But the film is a saddening bore
For she's lived it ten times or more
She could spit in the eyes of fools
As they ask her to focus on
Sailors fighting in the dance hall
Oh man! Look at those cavemen go
It's the freakiest show
Take a look at the Lawman
Beating up the wrong guy
Oh man! Wonder if he'll ever know
He's in the best selling show
Is there life on Mars?
It's on Amerika's tortured brow
That Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow
Now the workers have struck for fame
'Cause Lennon's on sale again
See the mice in their million hordes
From Ibeza to the Norfolk Broads
Rule Britannia is out of bounds
To my mother, my dog, and clowns
But the film is a saddening bore
'Cause I wrote it ten times or more
It's about to be writ again
As I ask you to focus on
Sailors fighting in the dance hall
Oh man! Look at those cavemen go
It's the freakiest show
Take a look at the Lawman
Beating up the wrong guy
Oh man! Wonder if he'll ever know
He's in the best selling show
Is there life on Mars?
Um, last time I checked, VC++ was a command line utility. It's called cl.exe and works perfectly well from within a console window. The version of make for it is nmake.exe. There are countless examples of how to use MS VC++ from the command line.
Of course, there's always Borland, but you don't seem to like them.
The next option is GCC which you can get as part of cygwin32 and can produce native win32 binaries without linking to the cygwin libraries. The drawback is that you don't have the Win32 headers files as there were licensing issues. The work around was to write their own win32 headers.
Finally, the intel compiler doesn't ship with microsofts headers either. Intel assumes that you already have vc++.
Anyway, all these tools are completely functional from the command line, as you'd know if you'd bother to actually read some fucking documentation.
My undying passion for the lovely Heidi Wall has made me quite the perl hacker. I've gone so far as to develop a little program I call e2e.pl, the English to English Translator. This nifty app lets me translate what people say into what they mean. Let's apply it to this article:
I just got into quite a long argument over on the Yahoo! message boards over the power of command line dev tools.
Translation: Traffic at the helpdesk was pretty slow, so I was wasting time bragging about my 1337 coding skills and Lunix prowess on Yahoo.
Basically the guy told me that it is impossible to create 'state of the art' programs with command-line tools. But when I asked him to give me reasons why he just called me stupid and 'behind the times'.
Translation: Another helpdesk monkey pretending to be a 1337 programmer started flaming me. I flamed back, but I was outflamed and couldn't match his fluent profanity.
Considering he was an avid supporter of anything Microsoft, I take what he says with a grain of salt.
Translation: I called him an "asslicking Micro$oft whore," made some cracks about VB programmers and impotence and retreated.
But what I want to know is how many of you developers have switched from command line work to KDevelop or CodeWarrior? And what advantages you think it offers? Certainly there are many 'state of the art' apps created with command line tools, but I'm open to anything that can increase productivity.
Translation: I know that slashdot is packed with gifted flamers and CLI enthusiasts, so I was hoping you could give me some good ammunition before I rejoin the fight.
I've just never seen a compelling reason to make the switch from what I am used to and comfortable with." Personally, I feel the best development environment to work in would be one that ignores neither the GUI, or the command line.
Translation: But I'm not honest enough to admit that I'm looking for ammo so I'll wind up with some lame ramblings about productivity to make it more palatable to the/. editors.
Well this is exactly what I expected from CNET, a load of FUD. Let me dispel some of the myths in this article:
Myth: Office has a broad range of functionality.
Fact: Office is a buggy useless piece of crap like all microsloth applications. All it's good for is pissing you off with that damned paperclip.
Myth: Office makes you productive.
Fact: Linux makes you more reproductive. Chicks dig it, and the spreadsheet in Star Office can tell you which ones are ovulating. Where are your priorities.
Myth: Star office is not suited for the US corporate desktop.
Fact: Star office is made by Sun, a comany name that is not easily ridiculed. By contrast, Microsoft is regularly referred to as Microsloth, Microsucks, Micro$oft, and Micro~1 on slashdot. Who'se better suited for the corporate desktop now, bitch?
Remember slashdot rule #12: No matter how illogical, factually incorrect or malicious it may be, it's not FUD if it attacks Microsoft.
Haven't you noticed? With the notable exception of the brilliant and likeable Miguel de Icaza, ESR, RMS, JWZ, Linus, Theo and the rest are all crackers. You know, honkys, peckerwoods, anglos.
Of course no one in the open source community notices this, they're all too busy congratulating each other on their "tolerance."
Well it looks as if the entire computer community has finally decided to come out of the closet now. There was a joyous time in the industry when computer scientists were real men. Glory days. IBM, suits and ties, a real smooth operation. Unfortunately, with the decadence of the 1960's and 70's, a new generation of homosexual programmers have taken over.
Look around your IT department, notice all the pony tails? Only women and gay men have long hair.
But of course, this has been decently hidden. The homoeroticism of IT was at least a little discreet. But now, now you've all decided to put on your pink pansy dresses and worship that creator of computerized cocksucking, Alan Turing.
I'd like to say I'm suprised, but I'm not. It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed
of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from
hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.
What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden
messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken
advocates:
Linus Torvalds is an anagram of SLIT ANUS OR VD 'L,' clearly referring to
himself by the first initial.
Richard
M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex is Not
Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of MANS CRAM THRILL AD.
Alan Cox is
barely an anagram of ANAL COX which is just so filthy and
unchristian it unnerves me.
I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The
Cathedral and the Bizarre, [Buy At
Amazon] is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need
to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little
boy's rectum. Update:Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram
for SECONDARY RIM and CORD IN MY ARSE. It just goes to show
you that he is indeed queer.
Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko
Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is
obviously sinister sodomite slang for "Felch Male" - a disgusting
practise. For those not in the know, "felching" is the act performed by
two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the
other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out
to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into
"e-male."
As far as Richard "(cock)Master" Stallman goes, that filthy
fudge-packer was actually
quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the
following:
RMS: "I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in
any circumstance," he says. "It's about being able to question
conventional wisdom," he asserts. "I believe in love, but not
monogamy," he says plainly.
And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually
stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely
say that he's a flaming homoslut!
Speaking about "flaming," who better to point out as a filthy chutney
ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon
Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his
name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the
innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:
"I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to
go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a
while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'
Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And
letting the other boys touch it too?
We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as "Slashdot's
resident Gasbag." Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few
who aren't aware of the list of homosexual
terminology found inside the Linux "Sauce Code," a "Gasbag" is a pervert
who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his
urethra (or to use the common parlance, "piss-pipe"), then his homosexual lover blows firmly down the straw
to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating
the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together
their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and
manipulative journalistic agenda.
Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.
In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the
most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot
groups. The Slackware distro is named
after the Slack-wear fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for
sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of CLAW
ARSE, a reference to the homosexual
practise of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of
French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the
vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for DARK AMEN
and RAM NAKED, which is what they do.
Another "distro," (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like
"Disco," which is where homosexuals preyed
on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of IN A BED,
which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where
we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to
describe their foul wares. "Woody" is obvious enough, being a term for the
erect male penis, glistening
with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase "Frozen Potato" that they
use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual "Sauce Code," refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear
polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male
phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes
solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his
own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a
screaming orgasm.
And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood
from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.
The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For
example, the "supermount" tool was devised to allow deeper penetration,
which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate
gland. "Automount" is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all
fat and gay, and need to mount each
other automatically.
The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of "mount
points." These are, plainly speaking, the different points of
penetration. The main one is obviously/anus, but there are
others. Militant fags even say "There is no/opt mount
point" because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way
of life.
More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love
'man', even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who
are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay
propaganda) should try out 'man'. In no other system do users
boast of their frequent recourse to a man.
Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For
example, people are often told of the "FAQ," but how many innocent
heterosexual Windows users know what
this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal
Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!
Even the title "Slashdot" originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the
popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those
super-zealous homosexuals who take this
perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the
site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.goatse.cx/.
The editors of Slashdot also
have homosexual names: "Hemos" is obvious
in itself, being one vowel away from "Homos." But even more sickening is
"Commander Taco" which sounds a bit like "Commode in Taco," filthy gay
slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement. (The best form
of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these "Taco Commodes" have
special "Salsa Sauce" (blood from a ruptured rectum) and "Cheese" (rancid
flakes of penis
discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!
The Apache server, whose
use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows,
popular faggot band, The Village
People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay
program is named.
And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world --
patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even
after its rupture by a session of fisting.
To summarise: Linux is gay. "Slash - Dot" is the graphical
description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and
disabled "stumpers."
FEEDBACK
What worries me is how much you know about what gay people
do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a
good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This
person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing
something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it
too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -
Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the
misfortune to read the Linux "Sauce code" once. Although publicised as the
computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and
haven't you always been worried about the phrase "Monolithic Kernel"?),
this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every
conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few
of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point
of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the
impending homo-calypse which
threatens to engulf our planet.
You must work for the government. Trying to post the most
obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or
something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to
stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld
shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. - Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot
Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker
ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my
friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative
violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The
government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the
sickening tide of homosexual child
molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!
you really should post this logged in. i wish i could
remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. - mighty jebus,
Slashdot
Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall
only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the "Open Sauce" movement
is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of
freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm,
enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the
tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk,
don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am
the unknown liberator.
ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS - Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot
We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools
they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps
for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual
society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch
repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson
causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.
Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I
understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the
scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how
to do it safely in case you're interested.
(Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -
who are the real crazies - people who do scrotal inflation, or
people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) - double_h,
Slashdot
Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux "sauce code" is
riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being
able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux
pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: "Given
enough arms, all rectums are shallow." And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the
money. Intellivision forever!
dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now
that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black
stuff too c u in church - Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda
masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing
better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to
see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto
them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only
god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The
Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their
local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only
route to salvation.
Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no
colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world
is maintained by A Black
Man. Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.
And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which
is just too close to "Pearl Necklace" for comfort.... oh wait; that's
something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much
faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in
PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do
them. - phee,
Slashdot
Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of
ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her
neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies
Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to "Pearl
Monocle", "Pearl Nosering", and the ubiquitous "Pearl
Enema".
One scary thing about Perl is that
it contains hidden homosexual
messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks
innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are
two colons next to each other! As Larry "Balls to the" Wall would
openly admit in the Perl Documentation,
Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into
performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together
is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of "colon
kissing," whereby two homosexual queers
spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters
together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by
passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction
alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as "Parameter
Passing".
And PHP stands for Perverted
Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?
Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you
will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in
terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. - Eimernase,
Slashdot
Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I DO know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing
Uranus for years.
That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in
his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this
community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. - Anonymous
Coward, Slashdot
*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for
your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the
Good Lord's work, but it is
encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.
However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on
such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that
the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual
describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a
variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or
mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally
spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an
"extension" to the Linux "Sauce Code," for the sake of
"interoperability." (The slang term they use for non-consensual
intercourse - their favourite kind.)
In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties,
(Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein
they entice a stray dog, known as the "Samba Mount," into their homes. Up
to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to
plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep,
into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor
animal. Eventually, the "Samba Mount" collapses due to "overload," and
needs to be "rebooted." (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left
to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their "uptime" in such
situations.
Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality!
- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message
up as often as possible. I recommend +1, Underrated, as that will
protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we
break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any
wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened
"Bender"???
If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it
will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and
join with us in our battle for freedom!
It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this.
- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in
order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to
follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and
apply the wire brush of enlightenment.
As with any great open-source project, you need someone
asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to
be ready?!?! - Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of "Every
time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours," but
the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a "number
two," as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would
want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to
wipe.
I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you
sexy hunk, you. - Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is
worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll
read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste
even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to
whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the
fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and
remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not
believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded
sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine
French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and
concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. - Anonymous
Coward, Slashdot
What the fuck?
I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I
must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed
to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing
homos tend to be full of. Thank
you again. - Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
Well bugger me!
ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage
from deare bruci. love you - Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
Fuck right off!
IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD, which is an acronym for Huge
Unclean Rectal Dilator) across the whole community,
so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that
licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out
with the GPL
(Gay Penetration License, according to geekacronyms.org) that is no more
than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I
would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name
is KNOWN to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.
Come to think of it, the whole concept of "Source Control" unnerves me,
because it sounds a bit like "Sauce Control," which is a description of
the homosexual practice of holding the base
of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a
build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an
incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And "Open Sauce" is
the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be
shared later. Obviously, "Closed Sauce" is the only Christian thing to do,
as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.
Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of "soggy
biscuit" that open "sauce" development has become) Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, The WIPO Troll,
FreeWIPO, Bring BackATV. Further contributions are welcome.
Current changes: This version is based on the all-too-rare
backup copy sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Re-reformatted
everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous
version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling
fixed. Additional stuff done in preparation for the future.
Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling
fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point'
syntax described. More filth regarding 'man' and Slashdot. Yet
more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot
baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.
Sometimes, when you see some beatyfull software design, the tears start to fall.
I've certainly worked with software that made me want to cry, but not because it was well designed.
To steal from the Murray boys, if good code makes you cry, stay the hell away from anything on the Lifetime network. 'Cause you'll have to go on Zoloft to get over Steel Magnolias.
I know the tendency for unix enthusiasts to believe that you invented every useful technology in the 1970's, but it's simply not the case. Grep simply isn't suitable for interactive searches of gigabytes of data broken up into millions of files.
To efficiently work with several years worth email, more advanced techniques are required. Specifically, you need a text indexing program tied to a relational database. While this doesn't give you any more power than recursive searches using the grep and find combo, it's much much faster as your keyword and message attributes can use b-tree index lookups and a cost based optimizer to reduce disk reads.
That being said, it's still not that impressive of software. I'm certain that I could build the search component in a couple of weeks using Microsoft SQL Server (with the neat full text indexing feature) and a moderately adept gui developer could hammer out a decent interface in the same amount of time.
Still, there's a difference between "trivial to implement with any decent rdmbs" and "I can do it with a 2 line bash script". You would do well to remember it.
I to was once at a loss when it came to handling email. I didn't know what to do with the tool.
Since then I have discovered that email is a wonderful tool for getting in trouble while drunk. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of ways to get in trouble operating a computer while drunk. I currently have a Compaq Proliant 6500 sitting in my bedroom due to a drunken visit to ebay. But email is much more effective. In my time, I've managed to let a heavily armed coworker know that I wished to knot and couple like frogs in a cistern. This, of course got me fired. I also managed to challenge ESR to a duel and notify our beloved Malda that his girlfriend is a beast.
After enough of these episodes, I've come to realize that this is the real purpose of email. To let you say those things you only say while drunk to anyone at any time.
Truly a marvelous invention Mr. Katz, I wonder that you did not touch on this aspect.
What I find most interesting is the use of an inverse posiform discombobulator to repel sophisticated man in the middle attacks. Combined with the infix digestive emulator, this will be a key component in the "Digital Nervous System" of the future.
Superficially, the Algorithm appears similary to the Bosun-Smee cipher which has been shown to be vulnerable to chosen plaintext attacks when not run in output feedback mode. Personally I think an approach based on a 4x4 Holmes-Longpole network would have been a preferable starting point, but this would be more vulnerable to differential polyp-cystizing cryptanalyis. This can (theoretically) be compensated for by a field-coit gestation transform, but no one is quite sure how to overcome the slow encryption speed of such a system.
All in all it's a fairly interesting approach and I intend to study it further. I'd love to hear anyone elses opinion though.
I feel compelled to say something about pots, kettles and African-American's here. Slashdot has had and continues to have numerous holes.
I'll skip over the 2 times that you were hacked and focus on a pair of luckless users:
AxelBoldt and Randal Schwartz.
Both these users had their accounts stolen by a brilliant and handsome young foot-fetishist due to flaws in slashcode. Axelboldt used "AxelBoldt" as his password, and was then embarassed to find several passionate screeds about Heidi Wall posted under his name. Poor Randal Schwartz posted even more embarassing material, but that's what he gets for using a password of "slashdot".
Anyway Rob, I'm not criticizing, I just think that before you go casting stones at hotmail, you should at least enforce some password standards on slashdot and develop a method of detecting and blocking the dictionary attacks I've been running.
We should all keep in mind this simple truth: OpenGL is dying.
You don't need to be Kreskin to predict OpenGL's future. The hand writing is on the wall: OpenGL faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for OpenGL because OpenGL is dying. Things are looking very bad for OpenGL. As many of us are already aware, OpenGL continues to lose market share. Red ink flows like a river of blood.
Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
Famed OpenGL using developer Jon Carmack states that there are 7000 delopers that are users of OpenGL. How many users of DirectX are there? Let's see. The number of OpenGL versus DirectX posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 1 to 4. Therefore there are about 7000*5 = 35000 DirectX users. OpenGL on Linux posts on Usenet are about half of the volume of OpenGL on Windows posts. Therefore there are about 700 developers using OpenGL on Linux. A recent article put OpenGL on *BSD at about.008 percent of the graphics library delopment market. Therefore there are (7000/100)*.008 =.56 OpenGL on FreeBSD developers. This is one guy working in his spare time and consistent with the number of OpenGL on FreeBSD Usenet posts.
Due to the troubles of SGI, abysmal sales and so on, SGI is getting out of the graphics business and becomming a low end intel box vendor. SGI is still dying and the corpse of OpenGL will soon be turned over to another charnel house.
All major surveys show that OpenGL has steadily declined in market share. OpenGL is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If OpenGL is to survive at all it will be among games hobbyists, dabblers, and dilettantes. OpenGL continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, OpenGL is dead.
Facts mean nothing while breast humor scores big! Who would have ever guessed such a thing on Slashdot?
See the logo at the top of the screen? The one that says "News for Nerds, Stuff that matters?"
I don't know about where you come from, but here on earth full, ripe breasts with prominent nipples sticking out like chocolate gum drops are stuff that matters. Few things more so.
Broadband has been "just around the corner" for 15 years or so.
There is every reason to suspect it'll be just around the corner for another 10.
Dvorak is in the Cassandra role here. Pointing out that broadband isn't here yet won't stop companies from creating buisness models based on broadband access. All it'll do is allow Dvorak to say "I told you so" when the inevitable happens.
But if you want to know how not to develop games, check out Fat Babies. It's game industry news and rumors from actual industry insiders. Sort of the fuckedcompany.com of the gaming world.
--Shoeboy
It's great to load the/. front page and not see a single article by that asshole Michael. It's nice to see that you, Hemos, Timmah! and Cliff are finally back from the rings of Saturn or wherever you've been.
On behalf of all/dotters I'd like to say welcome back!
--Shoeboy
Slashdot Mirror
Jon,
As always, you have hit the proverbial nail right on it's proverbial motherfucking head. The net is indeed invaluable in these times of trouble.
On 9/11 I jumped onto #current on irc.slashnet.org and found news updates being provided by people watching every conceivable news source (bbc, cnn, armed forces network, Al Jareeza, etc...) this was information that simply wouldn't be available otherwise.
After the initial turmoil of that day, the net came through again and again. Adequacy.org managed to snag an interview with an actual Taliban warlord. TheIranian.com had an amazing look at the situation faced by the Afgan people and Adequacy scored another coup with live reporting during the current strikes in Afganistan.
Truly, this is the net's finest hour.
--Shoeboy
EMACS: Effeminate Males Advocating Coercive Sodomy
FSF: Fiendish Society of Faggots
GNU: Gayness is Not Unusual
GNOME: Gay Nonce Of Mexican Extraction (Miguel de Icaza)
RMS: Rectums Made Sore
Hopefully this will improve your understanding of the Free Software movement.
--Shoeboy
1) And if you didn't hear me mention so-called 'clustering' solutions currently available from unnamed vendors, it's because they can't actually deliver these things -- not true Q.O.S. That's my opinion, anyway. Using a cluster to hide the fact that the underlying systems crash regularly is an extremely dangerous way to manage a computing environment.
Bullshit. No amount of bug fixes will eliminate crashes. I've seen smoke pouring from servers due to short circuts on the motherboard. I've seen array controlers give up the ghost, network cards bid this cruel world goodbye and absent minded tech power cycle the wrong box. I've worked for 3 (!) companies that have had entire datacenters lose power due to human error (Microsoft, Voicestream and Group Health).
Crashes happen and you have to have redundancy to deal with this. If you want to see a truly stable system, don't look at any Un*x. Un*x clustering solutions are bolted on and it shows. You want to look at a real high availability system like a Tandem system.
On a Tandem system you can lose a processor without dropping a single connection. You can lose a server and recover. It's built fault tolerant from the ground up.
If you're serious about high availability, this is the only way to go. Unix clustering is mostly shit - you really don't want it running a system that absolutely, positively can't go down.
Sure NT clustering is worse -- I did a study at Voicestream and found that our NT clusters had more downtime on average than our standalone NT systems, but Un*x clustering is nothing to write home about either. Saying that Un*x is more stable than NT is like saying that it's better to drink urine than eat shit. Sure it's true, but it's missing the big picture. VMS clusters are more stable than any Un*x solution and Tandem systems won't go down even if you start smashing processors with a mallet. That's what real stability means.
--Shoeboy
Is that lithography can be used to "machine" parts to greater tolerances than conventional processes. This means that bearings and joints can be more reliable and require less lubrication.
I'm sure you all realize what this could be used for...
Best Real Doll ever!
--Shoeboy
It's a god-awful small affair
To the girl with the mousy hair
But her mummy is yelling "No"
And her daddy has told her to go
But her friend is nowhere to be seen
Now she walks through her sunken dream
To the seat with the clearest view
And she's hooked to the silver screen
But the film is a saddening bore
For she's lived it ten times or more
She could spit in the eyes of fools
As they ask her to focus on
Sailors fighting in the dance hall
Oh man! Look at those cavemen go
It's the freakiest show
Take a look at the Lawman
Beating up the wrong guy
Oh man! Wonder if he'll ever know
He's in the best selling show
Is there life on Mars?
It's on Amerika's tortured brow
That Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow
Now the workers have struck for fame
'Cause Lennon's on sale again
See the mice in their million hordes
From Ibeza to the Norfolk Broads
Rule Britannia is out of bounds
To my mother, my dog, and clowns
But the film is a saddening bore
'Cause I wrote it ten times or more
It's about to be writ again
As I ask you to focus on
Sailors fighting in the dance hall
Oh man! Look at those cavemen go
It's the freakiest show
Take a look at the Lawman
Beating up the wrong guy
Oh man! Wonder if he'll ever know
He's in the best selling show
Is there life on Mars?
Um, last time I checked, VC++ was a command line utility. It's called cl.exe and works perfectly well from within a console window. The version of make for it is nmake.exe. There are countless examples of how to use MS VC++ from the command line.
Of course, there's always Borland, but you don't seem to like them.
The next option is GCC which you can get as part of cygwin32 and can produce native win32 binaries without linking to the cygwin libraries. The drawback is that you don't have the Win32 headers files as there were licensing issues. The work around was to write their own win32 headers.
Finally, the intel compiler doesn't ship with microsofts headers either. Intel assumes that you already have vc++.
Anyway, all these tools are completely functional from the command line, as you'd know if you'd bother to actually read some fucking documentation.
--Shoeboy
My undying passion for the lovely Heidi Wall has made me quite the perl hacker. I've gone so far as to develop a little program I call e2e.pl, the English to English Translator. This nifty app lets me translate what people say into what they mean. Let's apply it to this article:
/. editors.
I just got into quite a long argument over on the Yahoo! message boards over the power of command line dev tools.
Translation: Traffic at the helpdesk was pretty slow, so I was wasting time bragging about my 1337 coding skills and Lunix prowess on Yahoo.
Basically the guy told me that it is impossible to create 'state of the art' programs with command-line tools. But when I asked him to give me reasons why he just called me stupid and 'behind the times'.
Translation: Another helpdesk monkey pretending to be a 1337 programmer started flaming me. I flamed back, but I was outflamed and couldn't match his fluent profanity.
Considering he was an avid supporter of anything Microsoft, I take what he says with a grain of salt.
Translation: I called him an "asslicking Micro$oft whore," made some cracks about VB programmers and impotence and retreated.
But what I want to know is how many of you developers have switched from command line work to KDevelop or CodeWarrior? And what advantages you think it offers? Certainly there are many 'state of the art' apps created with command line tools, but I'm open to anything that can increase productivity.
Translation: I know that slashdot is packed with gifted flamers and CLI enthusiasts, so I was hoping you could give me some good ammunition before I rejoin the fight.
I've just never seen a compelling reason to make the switch from what I am used to and comfortable with." Personally, I feel the best development environment to work in would be one that ignores neither the GUI, or the command line.
Translation: But I'm not honest enough to admit that I'm looking for ammo so I'll wind up with some lame ramblings about productivity to make it more palatable to the
Well, I think that clears that up.
--Shoeboy
Well this is exactly what I expected from CNET, a load of FUD. Let me dispel some of the myths in this article:
Myth: Office has a broad range of functionality.
Fact: Office is a buggy useless piece of crap like all microsloth applications. All it's good for is pissing you off with that damned paperclip.
Myth: Office makes you productive.
Fact: Linux makes you more reproductive. Chicks dig it, and the spreadsheet in Star Office can tell you which ones are ovulating. Where are your priorities.
Myth: Star office is not suited for the US corporate desktop.
Fact: Star office is made by Sun, a comany name that is not easily ridiculed. By contrast, Microsoft is regularly referred to as Microsloth, Microsucks, Micro$oft, and Micro~1 on slashdot. Who'se better suited for the corporate desktop now, bitch?
Remember slashdot rule #12: No matter how illogical, factually incorrect or malicious it may be, it's not FUD if it attacks Microsoft.
Your friend,
--Shoeboy
Haven't you noticed? With the notable exception of the brilliant and likeable Miguel de Icaza, ESR, RMS, JWZ, Linus, Theo and the rest are all crackers. You know, honkys, peckerwoods, anglos.
Of course no one in the open source community notices this, they're all too busy congratulating each other on their "tolerance."
Your friend,
--Shoeboy
Well it looks as if the entire computer community has finally decided to come out of the closet now. There was a joyous time in the industry when computer scientists were real men. Glory days. IBM, suits and ties, a real smooth operation. Unfortunately, with the decadence of the 1960's and 70's, a new generation of homosexual programmers have taken over.
Look around your IT department, notice all the pony tails? Only women and gay men have long hair.
But of course, this has been decently hidden. The homoeroticism of IT was at least a little discreet. But now, now you've all decided to put on your pink pansy dresses and worship that creator of computerized cocksucking, Alan Turing.
I'd like to say I'm suprised, but I'm not. It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.
What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:
Linus Torvalds is an anagram of SLIT ANUS OR VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
Richard M. Stallman , spokespervert for the Gaysex is Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of MANS CRAM THRILL AD.
Alan Cox is barely an anagram of ANAL COX which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.
I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, [Buy At Amazon] is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for SECONDARY RIM and CORD IN MY ARSE. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.
Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for "Felch Male" - a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, "felching" is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into "e-male."
As far as Richard "(cock)Master" Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following:
And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!
Speaking about "flaming," who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:
Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?
We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as "Slashdot's resident Gasbag." Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux "Sauce Code," a "Gasbag" is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, "piss-pipe"), then his homosexual lover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.
Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.
In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the Slack-wear fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of CLAW ARSE, a reference to the homosexual practise of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for DARK AMEN and RAM NAKED, which is what they do.
Another "distro," (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like "Disco," which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of IN A BED, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. "Woody" is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase "Frozen Potato" that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual "Sauce Code," refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.
And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.
The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the "supermount" tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. "Automount" is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.
The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of "mount points." These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are
others. Militant fags even say "There is no /opt mount
point" because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way
of life.
More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love 'man', even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out 'man'. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.
Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the "FAQ," but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!
Even the title "Slashdot" originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.goatse.cx/.
The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: "Hemos" is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from "Homos." But even more sickening is "Commander Taco" which sounds a bit like "Commode in Taco," filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement. (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these "Taco Commodes" have special "Salsa Sauce" (blood from a ruptured rectum) and "Cheese" (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!
The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, The Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.
And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.
To summarise: Linux is gay. "Slash - Dot" is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled "stumpers."
FEEDBACK
Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux "Sauce code" once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase "Monolithic Kernel"?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.
Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!
Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the "Open Sauce" movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.
We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.
Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux "sauce code" is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: "Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow." And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!
For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.
Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by A Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.
Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to "Pearl Monocle", "Pearl Nosering", and the ubiquitous "Pearl Enema".
One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry "Balls to the" Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of "colon kissing," whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as "Parameter Passing".
And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?
Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I DO know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.
*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.
However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an "extension" to the Linux "Sauce Code," for the sake of "interoperability." (The slang term they use for non-consensual intercourse - their favourite kind.)
In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the "Samba Mount," into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the "Samba Mount" collapses due to "overload," and needs to be "rebooted." (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their "uptime" in such situations.
If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend +1, Underrated, as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened "Bender"???
If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!
I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.
I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of "Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours," but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a "number two," as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.
I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.
What the fuck?
Well bugger me!
Fuck right off!
IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD, which is an acronym for Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator) across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License, according to geekacronyms.org) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is KNOWN to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.
Come to think of it, the whole concept of "Source Control" unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like "Sauce Control," which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And "Open Sauce" is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, "Closed Sauce" is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.
Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of "soggy biscuit" that open "sauce" development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, The WIPO Troll, FreeWIPO, Bring BackATV. Further contributions are welcome.
Current changes: This version is based on the all-too-rare backup copy sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Re-reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Additional stuff done in preparation for the future.
Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding 'man' and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.
ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!
Thank trollaxor for the original text,--Shoeboy
Sometimes, when you see some beatyfull software design, the tears start to fall.
I've certainly worked with software that made me want to cry, but not because it was well designed.
To steal from the Murray boys, if good code makes you cry, stay the hell away from anything on the Lifetime network. 'Cause you'll have to go on Zoloft to get over Steel Magnolias.
Pussy.
Your friend,
--Shoeboy
I know the tendency for unix enthusiasts to believe that you invented every useful technology in the 1970's, but it's simply not the case. Grep simply isn't suitable for interactive searches of gigabytes of data broken up into millions of files.
To efficiently work with several years worth email, more advanced techniques are required. Specifically, you need a text indexing program tied to a relational database. While this doesn't give you any more power than recursive searches using the grep and find combo, it's much much faster as your keyword and message attributes can use b-tree index lookups and a cost based optimizer to reduce disk reads.
That being said, it's still not that impressive of software. I'm certain that I could build the search component in a couple of weeks using Microsoft SQL Server (with the neat full text indexing feature) and a moderately adept gui developer could hammer out a decent interface in the same amount of time.
Still, there's a difference between "trivial to implement with any decent rdmbs" and "I can do it with a 2 line bash script". You would do well to remember it.
Your friend,
--Shoeboy
Dearest Jin,
I could help you with your problems as I have an older inwin full tower that I'm not currently using. But I'm not going to send it to you.
Why? Because QPT is a friend of mine and I dislike the way you have treated him. I will never forgive you for toying with his affections as you have.
Your friend,
--Shoeboy
I have a few suggestions on where you can put them, but you probably don't want to hear it.
Your friend,
--Shoeboy
I to was once at a loss when it came to handling email. I didn't know what to do with the tool.
Since then I have discovered that email is a wonderful tool for getting in trouble while drunk. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of ways to get in trouble operating a computer while drunk. I currently have a Compaq Proliant 6500 sitting in my bedroom due to a drunken visit to ebay. But email is much more effective. In my time, I've managed to let a heavily armed coworker know that I wished to knot and couple like frogs in a cistern. This, of course got me fired. I also managed to challenge ESR to a duel and notify our beloved Malda that his girlfriend is a beast.
After enough of these episodes, I've come to realize that this is the real purpose of email. To let you say those things you only say while drunk to anyone at any time.
Truly a marvelous invention Mr. Katz, I wonder that you did not touch on this aspect.
Your friend,
--Shoeboy
What I find most interesting is the use of an inverse posiform discombobulator to repel sophisticated man in the middle attacks. Combined with the infix digestive emulator, this will be a key component in the "Digital Nervous System" of the future.
Superficially, the Algorithm appears similary to the Bosun-Smee cipher which has been shown to be vulnerable to chosen plaintext attacks when not run in output feedback mode. Personally I think an approach based on a 4x4 Holmes-Longpole network would have been a preferable starting point, but this would be more vulnerable to differential polyp-cystizing cryptanalyis. This can (theoretically) be compensated for by a field-coit gestation transform, but no one is quite sure how to overcome the slow encryption speed of such a system.
All in all it's a fairly interesting approach and I intend to study it further. I'd love to hear anyone elses opinion though.
--Shoeboy
I feel compelled to say something about pots, kettles and African-American's here. Slashdot has had and continues to have numerous holes.
I'll skip over the 2 times that you were hacked and focus on a pair of luckless users:
AxelBoldt and Randal Schwartz.
Both these users had their accounts stolen by a brilliant and handsome young foot-fetishist due to flaws in slashcode. Axelboldt used "AxelBoldt" as his password, and was then embarassed to find several passionate screeds about Heidi Wall posted under his name. Poor Randal Schwartz posted even more embarassing material, but that's what he gets for using a password of "slashdot".
Anyway Rob, I'm not criticizing, I just think that before you go casting stones at hotmail, you should at least enforce some password standards on slashdot and develop a method of detecting and blocking the dictionary attacks I've been running.
Your friend,
--Shoeboy
We should all keep in mind this simple truth: OpenGL is dying.
.008 percent of the graphics library delopment market. Therefore there are (7000/100)*.008 = .56 OpenGL on FreeBSD developers. This is one guy working in his spare time and consistent with the number of OpenGL on FreeBSD Usenet posts.
You don't need to be Kreskin to predict OpenGL's future. The hand writing is on the wall: OpenGL faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for OpenGL because OpenGL is dying. Things are looking very bad for OpenGL. As many of us are already aware, OpenGL continues to lose market share. Red ink flows like a river of blood.
Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
Famed OpenGL using developer Jon Carmack states that there are 7000 delopers that are users of OpenGL. How many users of DirectX are there? Let's see. The number of OpenGL versus DirectX posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 1 to 4. Therefore there are about 7000*5 = 35000 DirectX users. OpenGL on Linux posts on Usenet are about half of the volume of OpenGL on Windows posts. Therefore there are about 700 developers using OpenGL on Linux. A recent article put OpenGL on *BSD at about
Due to the troubles of SGI, abysmal sales and so on, SGI is getting out of the graphics business and becomming a low end intel box vendor. SGI is still dying and the corpse of OpenGL will soon be turned over to another charnel house.
All major surveys show that OpenGL has steadily declined in market share. OpenGL is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If OpenGL is to survive at all it will be among games hobbyists, dabblers, and dilettantes. OpenGL continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, OpenGL is dead.
--Shoeboy
Facts mean nothing while breast humor scores big! Who would have ever guessed such a thing on Slashdot?
See the logo at the top of the screen? The one that says "News for Nerds, Stuff that matters?"
I don't know about where you come from, but here on earth full, ripe breasts with prominent nipples sticking out like chocolate gum drops are stuff that matters. Few things more so.
Your friend,
--Shoeboy
Hey,
Knock that shit off.
--Shoeboy
Broadband has been "just around the corner" for 15 years or so.
There is every reason to suspect it'll be just around the corner for another 10.
Dvorak is in the Cassandra role here. Pointing out that broadband isn't here yet won't stop companies from creating buisness models based on broadband access. All it'll do is allow Dvorak to say "I told you so" when the inevitable happens.
Sometimes being right is a thankless role.
--Shoeboy
Seriously quiet fans that push a lot of air.
Here's a case with 6 (!!) of the things in it that's still reputed to be whisper quiet.
--Shoeboy
But if you want to know how not to develop games, check out Fat Babies. It's game industry news and rumors from actual industry insiders. Sort of the fuckedcompany.com of the gaming world. --Shoeboy
But it's also the story of my life. I think I'll go sob to myself in a corner now. --Shoeboy
It's great to load the /. front page and not see a single article by that asshole Michael. It's nice to see that you, Hemos, Timmah! and Cliff are finally back from the rings of Saturn or wherever you've been.
/dotters I'd like to say welcome back!
On behalf of all
--Shoeboy