Hello, my name is Elian Gonzalez. As you may know, I was recently taken from my home by Janet Reno's fascist INS fleet.
What you may not know is that I am on the International Space Station. They have placed me here to keep me safe from my half klingon/half brother who will soon hatch from his human shell and consume the earth in its entirety.
You needn't fear, as using my top-notch Cuban Communist education, I have placed the ISS on a targeted trajectory with Havana.
On Friday April 28, at 0400, I will crash into the Cuban Capital Building, killing Fidel Castro and liberating the oppressed people of the once-free nation.
On impact, Castro's Beowulf Cluster of Quad G4 Boards running Linux will be destoryed, releasing Hianny from the conspiratorial Cuban mind control machine, thereby neutralizing the treat and making the world safe again.
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No, his name is Hianny (prounounced YA-nee).
What you may not know is that I am on the International Space Station. They have placed me here to keep me safe from my half klingon/half brother who will soon hatch from his human shell and consume the earth in its entirety.
You needn't fear, as using my top-notch Cuban Communist education, I have placed the ISS on a targeted trajectory with Havana.
On Friday April 28, at 0400, I will crash into the Cuban Capital Building, killing Fidel Castro and liberating the oppressed people of the once-free nation.
On impact, Castro's Beowulf Cluster of Quad G4 Boards running Linux will be destoryed, releasing Hianny from the conspiratorial Cuban mind control machine, thereby neutralizing the treat and making the world safe again.
Thank you.