You have more or less identified all the baggage that you could drop if you went past the reading and loose the assuming reactionary mind, and really opened up your mind and did some zazen. Some folks sit for a few decades before they even begin to understand what this is all about, don't assume you know because you read a few books.
Unlike your images of what zen and other wisdom traditions are, like grasping for feel-good religious experiences, or "running away from reality" as you claim zen is about, ect, it is really about dropping all that, no attainment, no coming and going, letting go of self-other, not limiting ourselves with fictitious and alienating boundaries.
Instead of "I think, therefore I am", perhaps you can try and not over-think so much, and therefor really BE HERE which helps to make one more engaged with the world, not less. Look at the midnight sky next time, when your mind quits down a bit, ask yourself if you really know who you are at bottom. You list many preconceived notions about what zen is. Perhaps you or someone you know got involved into a corrupted cult that gave you these ideas, it is good to be skeptical, stay away from the stink of zen. However, don't let one bad experience close you down for good.
Zen can be explained in thousands of ways, but all that would be paramount to trying to eat the fruits painted in a painting. You must practice yourself to find out, if possible with a good teacher, not someone to depend on or worship, but someone competent, to challenge you to go deeper into not-knowing. The founder of Buddhism was not some religious nut, just an ordinary person made of flesh and blood who saw we suffer a lot extra due to excessive clinging to notions of self and other, good and evil, life and death etc. This person prescribed a method just like a doctor that would help us get over our separateness, self centeredness and self absorbtion and realize we're in this together, multi-centered. So don't give up, try to inquire a bit further when you're ready.
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Unlike your images of what zen and other wisdom traditions are, like grasping for feel-good religious experiences, or "running away from reality" as you claim zen is about, ect, it is really about dropping all that, no attainment, no coming and going, letting go of self-other, not limiting ourselves with fictitious and alienating boundaries.
Instead of "I think, therefore I am", perhaps you can try and not over-think so much, and therefor really BE HERE which helps to make one more engaged with the world, not less. Look at the midnight sky next time, when your mind quits down a bit, ask yourself if you really know who you are at bottom. You list many preconceived notions about what zen is. Perhaps you or someone you know got involved into a corrupted cult that gave you these ideas, it is good to be skeptical, stay away from the stink of zen. However, don't let one bad experience close you down for good.
Zen can be explained in thousands of ways, but all that would be paramount to trying to eat the fruits painted in a painting. You must practice yourself to find out, if possible with a good teacher, not someone to depend on or worship, but someone competent, to challenge you to go deeper into not-knowing. The founder of Buddhism was not some religious nut, just an ordinary person made of flesh and blood who saw we suffer a lot extra due to excessive clinging to notions of self and other, good and evil, life and death etc. This person prescribed a method just like a doctor that would help us get over our separateness, self centeredness and self absorbtion and realize we're in this together, multi-centered. So don't give up, try to inquire a bit further when you're ready.