User: Ergo Gnomic

Patent on Falling Asleep weading Patent Summarys

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Ever fall asleep while browsing patent summary statements? Or just get dazed? You fell victim to the below patent.

Watch out! Even thought it's just once sentence, you'll probably fall asleep reading it:

Here's the patent's summary:

A method of patent summary construction, authored in such language as may be required by the patent office of the appropriate legal jurisdiction in which the patent is sought and in which language the author has sufficient proficiency to achieve the various and specific purposes, descriptive and communicative, for which construction of said summary is to be undertaken, and commonly but not exclusively characterized by the use of only a single sentence as the entire patent summary, whereby the author, or constructor, by means of the verbose overuse of unnecessary words and phrases, by selecting from a repertoire words and phrases unlikely to have been encountered in the ordinary course of daily activities which occupy the efforts and attention of the casual reader of such a summary, and by the employ of carefully crafted and ordered word collections of unusual or inordinate length as an integral part of the summary sentence, which, while technically meeting the criteria defining what is accepted as grammatically correct sentence structure, or at minimal presenting a facade of grammatical veracity to the reader of sufficient intellect and literary capacity who might choose to execute, because of aforementioned ability, a grammatical analysis of the summary in question, using, perhaps, a graph of the sentence structure or some other analytical tool, which various means and methodologies demonstrate and give every appearance to the reader that the author is deliberately or maliciously attempting to mislead, confuse, obfuscate, or otherwise hide from the reader the true meaning or intent of said summary sentence, especially through the excessive inclusion of parenthetical and tangental phrases interspersed throughout the summary body without regard to redundancy or communicative expedience, whereby the author seeks, as a subliminal byproduct of such carefully crafted construction, to so befuddle and confuse the reader in the deliberate tangled web of words as to entrance and hypnotize the reader without the reader's awareness, such that the conscious cognitive brain functions necessary to literary and technical comprehension undergo a state change from an initial mental state of alertness, intent and focused to the task of understanding of the patent summary, to either a relaxed state of gentle somnambulation, or a befuddled daze wherein no further thought may occur, while still meeting the primary patent summary objective of describing a business process, software algorithm or some other patentable methodology, which process, algorithm, or methodology is expanded and expounded upon in body the patent or patent application subsequent to the summary statement.