"If your children require as much care when they're 12 years old as they did when they were 12 weeks old, you're doing it wrong"
That was the offending statement. Unqualified and my lead. The statement you point out in your post, which WAS qualified, did not offend. The unqualified blame on the parent... there's the problem.
"If your children require as much care when they're 12 years old as they did when they were 12 weeks old, you're doing it wrong"
Or perhaps they have physical and/or learning disabilities? I'm asking you kindly to please not generalize quite so broadly, because it is NOT always the parent's fault that the child(ren) take the same amount of care at later ages. Consider, please:
A woman with a moderately to severely autistic son (age 14) and an 11-year-old daughter who has ADHD, learning disabilities and social issues in a school system that just doesn't care. Just ONE of these children can take as much time as an infant, and both present potentially very expensive situations, thus resulting in a husband who takes every second of OT he can get--both for the cash and to escape the problems at home.
That woman would be my sister. She spent countless woman-hours pursuing the cause of her toddler son's lack of communication, followed by loads of work to get him into the programs allegedly available through the public schools, and has done everything in her power to help him live as normally as possible. Then a few years ago some classmates thought it would be FUN to cajole/trick him into dropping his pants in class. It took weeks of constant effort with the police, teachers and administrators to convince them that this was a combination of the autism, the need for friends (which is what these kids claimed to be), and other factors--so that he would not be on the sex offender registry for life.
Then she got the great fun of trying to get the school system to walk its talk regarding the bullying being experienced by her daughter. Through personal experience, I know they have never actually done anything but blamed the victim, and it again took far too much effort to get the situation changed so that my niece could be in an environment where bullying would not distract from actual LEARNING in school.
In this case, her kids ARE her full-time job, and it's not because she's doing anything wrong. When the kids are in school she's pursuing anything and everything she can find to make THEIR quality of life better. More "normal." To give them potential. I apologize if this seems off-topic, but unless you're walking in someone else's shoes you do not have the right to say they're "doing it wrong."
Gross generalizations are just that--GROSS. They're often also, frankly, downright offensive. As offensive as chauvinism.
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"If your children require as much care when they're 12 years old as they did when they were 12 weeks old, you're doing it wrong"
That was the offending statement. Unqualified and my lead. The statement you point out in your post, which WAS qualified, did not offend. The unqualified blame on the parent ... there's the problem.
Overwrought? I think not.
"If your children require as much care when they're 12 years old as they did when they were 12 weeks old, you're doing it wrong"
Or perhaps they have physical and/or learning disabilities? I'm asking you kindly to please not generalize quite so broadly, because it is NOT always the parent's fault that the child(ren) take the same amount of care at later ages. Consider, please:
A woman with a moderately to severely autistic son (age 14) and an 11-year-old daughter who has ADHD, learning disabilities and social issues in a school system that just doesn't care. Just ONE of these children can take as much time as an infant, and both present potentially very expensive situations, thus resulting in a husband who takes every second of OT he can get--both for the cash and to escape the problems at home.
That woman would be my sister. She spent countless woman-hours pursuing the cause of her toddler son's lack of communication, followed by loads of work to get him into the programs allegedly available through the public schools, and has done everything in her power to help him live as normally as possible. Then a few years ago some classmates thought it would be FUN to cajole/trick him into dropping his pants in class. It took weeks of constant effort with the police, teachers and administrators to convince them that this was a combination of the autism, the need for friends (which is what these kids claimed to be), and other factors--so that he would not be on the sex offender registry for life.
Then she got the great fun of trying to get the school system to walk its talk regarding the bullying being experienced by her daughter. Through personal experience, I know they have never actually done anything but blamed the victim, and it again took far too much effort to get the situation changed so that my niece could be in an environment where bullying would not distract from actual LEARNING in school.
In this case, her kids ARE her full-time job, and it's not because she's doing anything wrong. When the kids are in school she's pursuing anything and everything she can find to make THEIR quality of life better. More "normal." To give them potential. I apologize if this seems off-topic, but unless you're walking in someone else's shoes you do not have the right to say they're "doing it wrong."
Gross generalizations are just that--GROSS. They're often also, frankly, downright offensive. As offensive as chauvinism.