What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex?
The Girl Scout locked in my basement.
What's the worst part about having sex with a six year-old?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five year-old?
That little hand makes your thing look really huge.
Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying.
"What's wrong, honey?"
"I'm leaving you! I just found out you're a pædophile!"
"Pædophile? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old."
How can you tell when your sister's on her period?
When your dad's dick tastes like blood!
Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "Excuse me, you're in my son."
What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry?
Crib death.
How could the man's seven year-old son tell that his dad has farked his eight year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood!
Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?"
Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson."
So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back; she looked over her shoulder at me and said, "My, how presumptious of you." I said, "Presumptious? That's a big word for a ten year-old."
Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my fæces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!"
Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!"
First guy says, "What're you? A fag?"
A Kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies, "My dad is dead."
The teacher says, "That's terribile, but what did he do before he died?"
Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!"
A guy calls in sick to work.
"What's wrong?" asks the boss.
"I'm sick," the guy replies.
"You sound all right."
"No, I'm really sick. Believe me."
"Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!"
"Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick."
A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie."
"I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too."
An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods.
Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!"
Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone."
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys.
Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"?
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?
A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it.
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex.
Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Q: What do you have when you have four dead babies, take away two, and add five more?
A: An orgy!
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
A: You can't fuck a table.
Q: What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib?
A: A pædophile's ass.
Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby?
A: With a condom.
Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby?
A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples.
Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common?
A: They're fun to ride until they die.
Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
A: Deep throat.
Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
A: Grandmothers dont die when you fuck them in the ass.
Q: What's the best sound in the world?
A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure!
Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.
Q: How do you stop a baby from choking?
A: Take your dick out of its mouth.
Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Q: How do you make a baby cry twice?
A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear.
What's better than sex with a twelve year-old boy?
Absolutely nothing.
Thanks to Fark.com for all of these wonderfully sick jokes! I couldn't have done it without you! And thanks to all the Anonymous Cowards who have flamed me, I have three words for you! "YHBT! YHL! HAND!"
I would very much enjoy having a jiggery-pokery (and faggotry!) party with you and some baby-like childish humans wearing those diapery, nappy-like things! I will be sure to bring that large, phallussy rod-shaped jizz-squirty thing that I keep in my pants!
What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex?
The Girl Scout locked in my basement.
What's the worst part about having sex with a six year-old?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five year-old?
That little hand makes your thing look really huge.
Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying.
"What's wrong, honey?"
"I'm leaving you! I just found out you're a pædophile!"
"Pædophile? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old."
How can you tell when your sister's on her period?
When your dad's dick tastes like blood!
Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "Excuse me, you're in my son."
What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry?
Crib death.
How could the man's seven year-old son tell that his dad has farked his eight year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood!
Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?"
Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson."
So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back; she looked over her shoulder at me and said, "My, how presumptious of you." I said, "Presumptious? That's a big word for a ten year-old."
Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my fæces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!"
Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!"
First guy says, "What're you? A fag?"
A Kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies, "My dad is dead."
The teacher says, "That's terribile, but what did he do before he died?"
Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!"
A guy calls in sick to work.
"What's wrong?" asks the boss.
"I'm sick," the guy replies.
"You sound all right."
"No, I'm really sick. Believe me."
"Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!"
"Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick."
A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie."
"I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too."
An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods.
Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!"
Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone."
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys.
Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"?
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?
A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it.
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex.
Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Q: What do you have when you have four dead babies, take away two, and add five more?
A: An orgy!
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
A: You can't fuck a table.
Q: What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib?
A: A pædophile's ass.
Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby?
A: With a condom.
Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby?
A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples.
Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common?
A: They're fun to ride until they die.
Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
A: Deep throat.
Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
A: Grandmothers dont die when you fuck them in the ass.
Q: What's the best sound in the world?
A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure!
Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.
Q: How do you stop a baby from choking?
A: Take your dick out of its mouth.
Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Q: How do you make a baby cry twice?
A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear.
What's better than sex with a twelve year-old boy?
Absolutely nothing.
Thanks to Fark.com for all of these wonderfully sick jokes! I couldn't have done it without you! And thanks to all the Anonymous Cowards who have flamed me, I have three words for you! "YHBT! YHL! HAND!"
I too am a fan of little babies in diapers. I like to put my penis in them and wiggle it around!! Anyone who wants to get poked, email me! jwipotroll@hotmail.com
Would you consider exchanging your pacifier for my ponderously large penis? It is a very large member and you shan't be disappointed if you suck long enough! Sweet, sticky candy awaits you within!
Unfortunately that troll is not mine. I'm not sure who wrote that one. But I, also, promise never to suck dick again! I don't want to be a "fag." Well, tomorrow. Maybe. New Years Resolution, yes, that's it. Now, back to dicksucking. Excuse me!
What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex?
The Girl Scout locked in my basement.
What's the worst part about having sex with a six-year-old?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five-year-old?
That little hand makes your thing look really huge.
Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying.
"What's wrong, honey?"
"I'm leaving you!! I just found out you're a pedophile!!!"
"Pedophile?? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old..."
How can you tell when your sister's on her period?
When your dad's dick tastes like blood!
Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "excuse me, you're in my son."
What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry?
Crib death.
How could the man's 7-year-old son tell that his dad has farked his 8-year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood!
Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?"
Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson."
So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back, she looked over her shoulder at me and said... "My, how presumptious of you." And I said "presumptious? That's a big word for a 10-year-old."
Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my feces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!"
Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!"
First guy says, "What're you? A fag?"
The kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies "My dad is dead."
The teacher say's "That is terribile, but what did he do before he died?"
Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!"
A guy calls in sick to work.
"What's wrong?" asks the boss.
"I'm sick," the guy replies.
"You sound all right."
"No, I'm really sick. Believe me."
"Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!"
"Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick."
A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie."
"I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too."
An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods.
Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!"
Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone."
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys.
Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"?
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?
A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it.
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex.
Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Q: What do you have when you have 4 dead babies, take away two, and add 5 more?
A: An orgy!
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
A: You can't fark a table.
Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib?
A: A pedophile's ass.
Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby?
A: With a condom.
Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby?
A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples.
Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common?
A: They're fun to ride until they die.
Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
A: Deep Throat.
Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
A: Grandmothers dont die when you fark them in the ass
Q: What's the best sound in the world?
A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure!
Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.
Q: How do you stop a baby from choking?
A: Take your dick out of its mouth.
Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Q: How do you make a baby cry twice?
A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear.
What's better than sex with a 12-year-old boy?
Absolutely nothing.
I gave up penis-sucking when I realized that it made me a "fag." Could you believe all these years I'd been making fun of all these fags around me while merrily sucking away on penis each night, completely unaware that dickslurping was what made one a "fag"?
Why do I keep receiving emails from someone calling himself CmdrTaco?
You have been receiving email from a certain
Robert CmdrTaco Malda, owner of the popular technology website Slashdot. Actually, its not a very popular site in the common sense of the word; the site is rife with pimply, antisocial geeks, zit-faced nerds, communists, dirty GNU hippies, and other societal rejects and outcasts. Its also home to one of the worlds largest pædophile ring, the infamous Slashdot crew.
Whenever Mr. Malda gets bored (and who wouldnt, running a site like
Slashdot all day), he roams through the user database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual activities with him. How he determines this is anyones guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with a letter of the English alphabet in it, youre in trouble.
This time, he found
you. Lucky you.
Malda seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?
CmdrTacos code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo (yes, thats right: he wants your cum) to evade the watchful but relatively stupid eye of Slashdots parent corporation,
VA Software. Mr. Maldas Commander is, of course, his penis: a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants and only comes out in the presence of other male geeks or at the beck and call of CmdrTacos own lubed-up right hand. His Taco bells are the shriveled testicles that droop beneath his Commander, and his Taco sauce is his thick, gooey semen. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means if he asked you to ring his Taco bells or taste his gourmet Taco sauce.
I would guess he also asked you to engage in a practice known as Taco-snotting and, if he was in a particularly depraved mood at the time, a circle-snot.
Good Lord. What is Taco-snotting?
Taco-snotting is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the act of fellating a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumoured to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto the face and body of his partner or victim. Naturally, a long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is
left on CmdrTacos face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, Taco-snotting.
A circle-snot is a Taco-snotting
circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum spooging their jizz-snot all over each others faces and pasty, white bodies, until theyre covered head to toe with their own and each others man juice. This vile ritual can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.
To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each others spunk and whip each others pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.
Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?
Hopefully.
You most likely forgot to uncheck the Willing to Taco-snot checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and hes probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. Theres no escaping a geek in heat, so its probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTacos sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on
Messages, and uncheck the box next to Willing to Taco-snot. Maybe hell ignore you. Probably not.
I cant stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?
If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he
might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).
Have you ever been Taco-snotted?
Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an
Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some gourmet Tacos, but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his Commander out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.
CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, Open Sauce man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds
raped my ass with his monolithic kernel, and Anal Cox used his network stack in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about all those Censorware freaks out to get him.
How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. Im just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads I couldve easily been drowned!
Thats horrible. Does Taco-snotting have anything to do with CmdrTacos special taco?
No, thats a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games.
WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):
You may be wondering what CmdrTacos special taco is. You will be wishing that you hadnt been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his special taco, CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and
shits on it. He then adds lettuce, takes out his tiny withered dick (otherwise known as his Commander), puts his special taco sauce on it which means he jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim. After all, who would knowingly eat shit and CmdrTacos jizz?
After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTacos nefarious homosexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victims ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved. Trust me, you do not want Jon Katz anywhere near your unconscious body. Also, rumor has it CmdrTaco is looking for a new
goatse.cx guy. Dont let it be you!
Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.
Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.
Actually, Jon Katz is a
homosexual pædophile. Hes also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesnt involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called Katz juicy-douching with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boys urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boys chained-up and naked bodies. If hes in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag from his distended anus and just squirt it from his ass onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them at will usually for the rest of their lives.
As I already said, Mr. Katz is
also a zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys arent enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goats anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goats small, bean-like turds.
Why do I keep receiving emails from someone calling himself CmdrTaco?
You have been receiving email from a certain
Robert CmdrTaco Malda, owner of the popular technology website Slashdot. Actually, its not a very popular site in the common sense of the word; the site is rife with pimply, antisocial geeks, zit-faced nerds, communists, dirty GNU hippies, and other societal rejects and outcasts. Its also home to one of the worlds largest pædophile ring, the infamous Slashdot crew.
Whenever Mr. Malda gets bored (and who wouldnt, running a site like
Slashdot all day), he roams through the user database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual activities with him. How he determines this is anyones guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with a letter of the English alphabet in it, youre in trouble.
This time, he found
you. Lucky you.
Malda seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?
CmdrTacos code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo (yes, thats right: he wants your cum) to evade the watchful but relatively stupid eye of Slashdots parent corporation,
VA Software. Mr. Maldas Commander is, of course, his penis: a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants and only comes out in the presence of other male geeks or at the beck and call of CmdrTacos own lubed-up right hand. His Taco bells are the shriveled testicles that droop beneath his Commander, and his Taco sauce is his thick, gooey semen. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means if he asked you to ring his Taco bells or taste his gourmet Taco sauce.
I would guess he also asked you to engage in a practice known as Taco-snotting and, if he was in a particularly depraved mood at the time, a circle-snot.
Good Lord. What is Taco-snotting?
Taco-snotting is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the act of fellating a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumoured to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto the face and body of his partner or victim. Naturally, a long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is
left on CmdrTacos face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, Taco-snotting.
A circle-snot is a Taco-snotting
circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum spooging their jizz-snot all over each others faces and pasty, white bodies, until theyre covered head to toe with their own and each others man juice. This vile ritual can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.
To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each others spunk and whip each others pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.
Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?
Hopefully.
You most likely forgot to uncheck the Willing to Taco-snot checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and hes probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. Theres no escaping a geek in heat, so its probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTacos sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on
Messages, and uncheck the box next to Willing to Taco-snot. Maybe hell ignore you. Probably not.
I cant stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?
If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he
might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).
Have you ever been Taco-snotted?
Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an
Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some gourmet Tacos, but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his Commander out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.
CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, Open Sauce man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds
raped my ass with his monolithic kernel, and Anal Cox used his network stack in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about all those Censorware freaks out to get him.
How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. Im just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads I couldve easily been drowned!
Thats horrible. Does Taco-snotting have anything to do with CmdrTacos special taco?
No, thats a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games.
WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):
You may be wondering what CmdrTacos special taco is. You will be wishing that you hadnt been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his special taco, CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and
shits on it. He then adds lettuce, takes out his tiny withered dick (otherwise known as his Commander), puts his special taco sauce on it which means he jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim. After all, who would knowingly eat shit and CmdrTacos jizz?
After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTacos nefarious homosexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victims ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved. Trust me, you do not want Jon Katz anywhere near your unconscious body. Also, rumor has it CmdrTaco is looking for a new
goatse.cx guy. Dont let it be you!
Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.
Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.
Actually, Jon Katz is a
homosexual pædophile. Hes also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesnt involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called Katz juicy-douching with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boys urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boys chained-up and naked bodies. If hes in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag from his distended anus and just squirt it from his ass onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them at will usually for the rest of their lives.
As I already said, Mr. Katz is
also a zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys arent enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goats anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goats small, bean-like turds.
Why do I keep receiving emails from someone calling himself CmdrTaco?
You have been receiving email from a certain
Robert CmdrTaco Malda, owner of the popular technology website Slashdot. Actually, its not a very popular site in the common sense of the word; the site is rife with pimply, antisocial geeks, zit-faced nerds, communists, dirty GNU hippies, and other societal rejects and outcasts. Its also home to one of the worlds largest pædophile ring, the infamous Slashdot crew.
Whenever Mr. Malda gets bored (and who wouldnt, running a site like
Slashdot all day), he roams through the user database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual activities with him. How he determines this is anyones guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with a letter of the English alphabet in it, youre in trouble.
This time, he found
you. Lucky you.
Malda seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?
CmdrTacos code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo (yes, thats right: he wants your cum) to evade the watchful but relatively stupid eye of Slashdots parent corporation,
VA Software. Mr. Maldas Commander is, of course, his penis: a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants and only comes out in the presence of other male geeks or at the beck and call of CmdrTacos own lubed-up right hand. His Taco bells are the shriveled testicles that droop beneath his Commander, and his Taco sauce is his thick, gooey semen. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means if he asked you to ring his Taco bells or taste his gourmet Taco sauce.
I would guess he also asked you to engage in a practice known as Taco-snotting and, if he was in a particularly depraved mood at the time, a circle-snot.
Good Lord. What is Taco-snotting?
Taco-snotting is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the act of fellating a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumoured to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto the face and body of his partner or victim. Naturally, a long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is
left on CmdrTacos face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, Taco-snotting.
A circle-snot is a Taco-snotting
circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum spooging their jizz-snot all over each others faces and pasty, white bodies, until theyre covered head to toe with their own and each others man juice. This vile ritual can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.
To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each others spunk and whip each others pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.
Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?
Hopefully.
You most likely forgot to uncheck the Willing to Taco-snot checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and hes probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. Theres no escaping a geek in heat, so its probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTacos sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on
Messages, and uncheck the box next to Willing to Taco-snot. Maybe hell ignore you. Probably not.
I cant stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?
If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he
might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).
Have you ever been Taco-snotted?
Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an
Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some gourmet Tacos, but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his Commander out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.
CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, Open Sauce man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds
raped my ass with his monolithic kernel, and Anal Cox used his network stack in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about all those Censorware freaks out to get him.
How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. Im just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads I couldve easily been drowned!
Thats horrible. Does Taco-snotting have anything to do with CmdrTacos special taco?
No, thats a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games.
WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):
You may be wondering what CmdrTacos special taco is. You will be wishing that you hadnt been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his special taco, CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and
shits on it. He then adds lettuce, takes out his tiny withered dick (otherwise known as his Commander), puts his special taco sauce on it which means he jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim. After all, who would knowingly eat shit and CmdrTacos jizz?
After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTacos nefarious homosexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victims ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved. Trust me, you do not want Jon Katz anywhere near your unconscious body. Also, rumor has it CmdrTaco is looking for a new
goatse.cx guy. Dont let it be you!
Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.
Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.
Actually, Jon Katz is a
homosexual pædophile. Hes also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesnt involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called Katz juicy-douching with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boys urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boys chained-up and naked bodies. If hes in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag from his distended anus and just squirt it from his ass onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them at will usually for the rest of their lives.
As I already said, Mr. Katz is
also a zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys arent enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goats anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goats small, bean-like turds.
Why do I keep receiving emails from someone calling himself CmdrTaco?
You have been receiving email from a certain
Robert CmdrTaco Malda, owner of the popular technology website Slashdot. Actually, its not a very popular site in the common sense of the word; the site is rife with pimply, antisocial geeks, zit-faced nerds, communists, dirty GNU hippies, and other societal rejects and outcasts. Its also home to one of the worlds largest pædophile ring, the infamous Slashdot crew.
Whenever Mr. Malda gets bored (and who wouldnt, running a site like
Slashdot all day), he roams through the user database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual activities with him. How he determines this is anyones guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with a letter of the English alphabet in it, youre in trouble.
This time, he found
you. Lucky you.
Malda seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?
CmdrTacos code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo (yes, thats right: he wants your cum) to evade the watchful but relatively stupid eye of Slashdots parent corporation,
VA Software. Mr. Maldas Commander is, of course, his penis: a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants and only comes out in the presence of other male geeks or at the beck and call of CmdrTacos own lubed-up right hand. His Taco bells are the shriveled testicles that droop beneath his Commander, and his Taco sauce is his thick, gooey semen. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means if he asked you to ring his Taco bells or taste his gourmet Taco sauce.
I would guess he also asked you to engage in a practice known as Taco-snotting and, if he was in a particularly depraved mood at the time, a circle-snot.
Good Lord. What is Taco-snotting?
Taco-snotting is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the act of fellating a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumoured to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto the face and body of his partner or victim. Naturally, a long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is
left on CmdrTacos face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, Taco-snotting.
A circle-snot is a Taco-snotting
circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum spooging their jizz-snot all over each others faces and pasty, white bodies, until theyre covered head to toe with their own and each others man juice. This vile ritual can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.
To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each others spunk and whip each others pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.
Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?
Hopefully.
You most likely forgot to uncheck the Willing to Taco-snot checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and hes probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. Theres no escaping a geek in heat, so its probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTacos sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on
Messages, and uncheck the box next to Willing to Taco-snot. Maybe hell ignore you. Probably not.
I cant stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?
If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he
might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).
Have you ever been Taco-snotted?
Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an
Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some gourmet Tacos, but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his Commander out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.
CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, Open Sauce man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds
raped my ass with his monolithic kernel, and Anal Cox used his network stack in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about all those Censorware freaks out to get him.
How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. Im just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads I couldve easily been drowned!
Thats horrible. Does Taco-snotting have anything to do with CmdrTacos special taco?
No, thats a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games.
WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):
You may be wondering what CmdrTacos special taco is. You will be wishing that you hadnt been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his special taco, CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and
shits on it. He then adds lettuce, takes out his tiny withered dick (otherwise known as his Commander), puts his special taco sauce on it which means he jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim. After all, who would knowingly eat shit and CmdrTacos jizz?
After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTacos nefarious homosexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victims ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved. Trust me, you do not want Jon Katz anywhere near your unconscious body. Also, rumor has it CmdrTaco is looking for a new
goatse.cx guy. Dont let it be you!
Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.
Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.
Actually, Jon Katz is a
homosexual pædophile. Hes also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesnt involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called Katz juicy-douching with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boys urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boys chained-up and naked bodies. If hes in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag from his distended anus and just squirt it from his ass onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them at will usually for the rest of their lives.
As I already said, Mr. Katz is
also a zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys arent enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goats anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goats small, bean-like turds.
Why do I keep receiving emails from someone calling himself CmdrTaco?
You have been receiving email from a certain
Robert CmdrTaco Malda, owner of the popular technology website Slashdot. Actually, its not a very popular site in the common sense of the word; the site is rife with pimply, antisocial geeks, zit-faced nerds, communists, dirty GNU hippies, and other societal rejects and outcasts. Its also home to one of the worlds largest pædophile ring, the infamous Slashdot crew.
Whenever Mr. Malda gets bored (and who wouldnt, running a site like
Slashdot all day), he roams through the user database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual activities with him. How he determines this is anyones guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with a letter of the English alphabet in it, youre in trouble.
This time, he found
you. Lucky you.
Malda seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?
CmdrTacos code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo (yes, thats right: he wants your cum) to evade the watchful but relatively stupid eye of Slashdots parent corporation,
VA Software. Mr. Maldas Commander is, of course, his penis: a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants and only comes out in the presence of other male geeks or at the beck and call of CmdrTacos own lubed-up right hand. His Taco bells are the shriveled testicles that droop beneath his Commander, and his Taco sauce is his thick, gooey semen. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means if he asked you to ring his Taco bells or taste his gourmet Taco sauce.
I would guess he also asked you to engage in a practice known as Taco-snotting and, if he was in a particularly depraved mood at the time, a circle-snot.
Good Lord. What is Taco-snotting?
Taco-snotting is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the act of fellating a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumoured to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto the face and body of his partner or victim. Naturally, a long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is
left on CmdrTacos face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, Taco-snotting.
A circle-snot is a Taco-snotting
circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum spooging their jizz-snot all over each others faces and pasty, white bodies, until theyre covered head to toe with their own and each others man juice. This vile ritual can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.
To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each others spunk and whip each others pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.
Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?
Hopefully.
You most likely forgot to uncheck the Willing to Taco-snot checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and hes probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. Theres no escaping a geek in heat, so its probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTacos sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on
Messages, and uncheck the box next to Willing to Taco-snot. Maybe hell ignore you. Probably not.
I cant stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?
If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he
might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).
Have you ever been Taco-snotted?
Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an
Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some gourmet Tacos, but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his Commander out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.
CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, Open Sauce man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds
raped my ass with his monolithic kernel, and Anal Cox used his network stack in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about all those Censorware freaks out to get him.
How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. Im just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads I couldve easily been drowned!
Thats horrible. Does Taco-snotting have anything to do with CmdrTacos special taco?
No, thats a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games.
WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):
You may be wondering what CmdrTacos special taco is. You will be wishing that you hadnt been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his special taco, CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and
shits on it. He then adds lettuce, takes out his tiny withered dick (otherwise known as his Commander), puts his special taco sauce on it which means he jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim. After all, who would knowingly eat shit and CmdrTacos jizz?
After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTacos nefarious homosexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victims ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved. Trust me, you do not want Jon Katz anywhere near your unconscious body. Also, rumor has it CmdrTaco is looking for a new
goatse.cx guy. Dont let it be you!
Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.
Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.
Actually, Jon Katz is a
homosexual pædophile. Hes also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesnt involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called Katz juicy-douching with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boys urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boys chained-up and naked bodies. If hes in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag from his distended anus and just squirt it from his ass onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them at will usually for the rest of their lives.
As I already said, Mr. Katz is
also a zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys arent enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goats anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goats small, bean-like turds.
Slashdot Mirror
Fark?
Here is a better desktop picture. No need to blow it up, it's already exploded enough.
What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex? The Girl Scout locked in my basement. What's the worst part about having sex with a six year-old? Getting the blood out of your clown suit. What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five year-old? That little hand makes your thing look really huge. Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying. "What's wrong, honey?" "I'm leaving you! I just found out you're a pædophile!" "Pædophile? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old." How can you tell when your sister's on her period? When your dad's dick tastes like blood! Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "Excuse me, you're in my son." What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry? Crib death. How could the man's seven year-old son tell that his dad has farked his eight year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood! Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?" Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson." So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back; she looked over her shoulder at me and said, "My, how presumptious of you." I said, "Presumptious? That's a big word for a ten year-old." Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my fæces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!" Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!" First guy says, "What're you? A fag?" A Kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies, "My dad is dead." The teacher says, "That's terribile, but what did he do before he died?" Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!" A guy calls in sick to work. "What's wrong?" asks the boss. "I'm sick," the guy replies. "You sound all right." "No, I'm really sick. Believe me." "Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!" "Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick." A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie." "I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too." An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods. Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!" Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone." What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys. Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"? Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple? A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it. Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex. Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter. Q: What do you have when you have four dead babies, take away two, and add five more? A: An orgy! Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? A: You can't fuck a table. Q: What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib? A: A pædophile's ass. Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby? A: With a condom. Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby? A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples. Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common? A: They're fun to ride until they die. Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw? A: Deep throat. Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother? A: Grandmothers dont die when you fuck them in the ass. Q: What's the best sound in the world? A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure! Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby? A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades. Q: How do you stop a baby from choking? A: Take your dick out of its mouth. Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before. Q: How do you make a baby cry twice? A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear. What's better than sex with a twelve year-old boy? Absolutely nothing.Thanks to Fark.com for all of these wonderfully sick jokes! I couldn't have done it without you! And thanks to all the Anonymous Cowards who have flamed me, I have three words for you! "YHBT! YHL! HAND!"
________________________________________You could use Slashdot to keep your enemies list.
Or, you can kneel down and slurp my juicy dick down your throat.
Choice is yours.
Beautiful:
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2: 13 comments
3: 4 comments
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-1: 83 comments
0: 47 comments
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2: 22 comments
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I would very much enjoy having a jiggery-pokery (and faggotry!) party with you and some baby-like childish humans wearing those diapery, nappy-like things! I will be sure to bring that large, phallussy rod-shaped jizz-squirty thing that I keep in my pants!
What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex? The Girl Scout locked in my basement. What's the worst part about having sex with a six year-old? Getting the blood out of your clown suit. What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five year-old? That little hand makes your thing look really huge. Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying. "What's wrong, honey?" "I'm leaving you! I just found out you're a pædophile!" "Pædophile? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old." How can you tell when your sister's on her period? When your dad's dick tastes like blood! Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "Excuse me, you're in my son." What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry? Crib death. How could the man's seven year-old son tell that his dad has farked his eight year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood! Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?" Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson." So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back; she looked over her shoulder at me and said, "My, how presumptious of you." I said, "Presumptious? That's a big word for a ten year-old." Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my fæces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!" Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!" First guy says, "What're you? A fag?" A Kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies, "My dad is dead." The teacher says, "That's terribile, but what did he do before he died?" Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!" A guy calls in sick to work. "What's wrong?" asks the boss. "I'm sick," the guy replies. "You sound all right." "No, I'm really sick. Believe me." "Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!" "Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick." A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie." "I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too." An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods. Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!" Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone." What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys. Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"? Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple? A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it. Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex. Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter. Q: What do you have when you have four dead babies, take away two, and add five more? A: An orgy! Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? A: You can't fuck a table. Q: What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib? A: A pædophile's ass. Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby? A: With a condom. Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby? A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples. Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common? A: They're fun to ride until they die. Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw? A: Deep throat. Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother? A: Grandmothers dont die when you fuck them in the ass. Q: What's the best sound in the world? A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure! Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby? A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades. Q: How do you stop a baby from choking? A: Take your dick out of its mouth. Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before. Q: How do you make a baby cry twice? A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear. What's better than sex with a twelve year-old boy? Absolutely nothing.Thanks to Fark.com for all of these wonderfully sick jokes! I couldn't have done it without you! And thanks to all the Anonymous Cowards who have flamed me, I have three words for you! "YHBT! YHL! HAND!"
________________________________________I too am a fan of little babies in diapers. I like to put my penis in them and wiggle it around!! Anyone who wants to get poked, email me! jwipotroll@hotmail.com
I have snot. Ramen and snot. Snot, ramen and snot. Snot, snot, snot, ramen, egg and snot. Snot, snot, snot....
Dickslurp. Slurp a dick. This is an old trick. Once again, the trolls trouce the Slashdot lameness filter [this-stupid-one.com].
Oh, and: slurp onto a dick, dickslurp.
Would you consider exchanging your pacifier for my ponderously large penis? It is a very large member and you shan't be disappointed if you suck long enough! Sweet, sticky candy awaits you within!
Unfortunately that troll is not mine. I'm not sure who wrote that one. But I, also, promise never to suck dick again! I don't want to be a "fag." Well, tomorrow. Maybe. New Years Resolution, yes, that's it. Now, back to dicksucking. Excuse me!
.*
*slurp slurp . .
I LIKE TO FUCK MY LITTLE SISTER! (AND OTHER PERVERSIONS) By The WIPO Troll, $Revision: 1.1 $
What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex? The Girl Scout locked in my basement. What's the worst part about having sex with a six-year-old? Getting the blood out of your clown suit. What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five-year-old? That little hand makes your thing look really huge. Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying. "What's wrong, honey?" "I'm leaving you!! I just found out you're a pedophile!!!" "Pedophile?? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old..." How can you tell when your sister's on her period? When your dad's dick tastes like blood! Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "excuse me, you're in my son." What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry? Crib death. How could the man's 7-year-old son tell that his dad has farked his 8-year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood! Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?" Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson." So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back, she looked over her shoulder at me and said... "My, how presumptious of you." And I said "presumptious? That's a big word for a 10-year-old." Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my feces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!" Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!" First guy says, "What're you? A fag?" The kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies "My dad is dead." The teacher say's "That is terribile, but what did he do before he died?" Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!" A guy calls in sick to work. "What's wrong?" asks the boss. "I'm sick," the guy replies. "You sound all right." "No, I'm really sick. Believe me." "Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!" "Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick." A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie." "I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too." An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods. Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!" Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone." What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys. Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"? Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple? A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it. Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex. Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter. Q: What do you have when you have 4 dead babies, take away two, and add 5 more? A: An orgy! Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? A: You can't fark a table. Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib? A: A pedophile's ass. Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby? A: With a condom. Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby? A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples. Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common? A: They're fun to ride until they die. Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw? A: Deep Throat. Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother? A: Grandmothers dont die when you fark them in the ass Q: What's the best sound in the world? A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure! Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby? A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades. Q: How do you stop a baby from choking? A: Take your dick out of its mouth. Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before. Q: How do you make a baby cry twice? A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear. What's better than sex with a 12-year-old boy? Absolutely nothing.Thanks, Fark.com!
________________________________________I gave up penis-sucking when I realized that it made me a "fag." Could you believe all these years I'd been making fun of all these fags around me while merrily sucking away on penis each night, completely unaware that dickslurping was what made one a "fag"?
Yeah, me neither.
Why do I keep receiving emails from someone calling himself CmdrTaco?
Malda seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?
Good Lord. What is Taco-snotting?
Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?
I cant stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?
Have you ever been Taco-snotted?
Thats horrible. Does Taco-snotting have anything to do with CmdrTacos special taco?
Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.
Are you getting hard writing this?
No, thanks. Im already CmdrTacos boi toi.
________________________________________Whoo boy time to MASTURBATE!!!
--
Drunk and Horny,
Merry FUCKING Christmas!!! Have a Taco-snot-filled new year!!! Yeeeeehaw!!!
Why do I keep receiving emails from someone calling himself CmdrTaco?
Malda seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?
Good Lord. What is Taco-snotting?
Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?
I cant stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?
Have you ever been Taco-snotted?
Thats horrible. Does Taco-snotting have anything to do with CmdrTacos special taco?
Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.
Are you getting hard writing this?
No, thanks. Im already CmdrTacos boi toi.
________________________________________Why do I keep receiving emails from someone calling himself CmdrTaco?
Malda seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?
Good Lord. What is Taco-snotting?
Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?
I cant stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?
Have you ever been Taco-snotted?
Thats horrible. Does Taco-snotting have anything to do with CmdrTacos special taco?
Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.
Are you getting hard writing this?
No, thanks. Im already CmdrTacos boi toi.
________________________________________How's this for some Slashdot porn? Not pictured is CowboyNeal (thank the Lord!); I believe he was the artist.
This picture? The semen ain't too dry here, though.
Why do I keep receiving emails from someone calling himself CmdrTaco?
Malda seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?
Good Lord. What is Taco-snotting?
Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?
I cant stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?
Have you ever been Taco-snotted?
Thats horrible. Does Taco-snotting have anything to do with CmdrTacos special taco?
Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.
Are you getting hard writing this?
No, thanks. Im already CmdrTacos boi toi.
________________________________________Why do I keep receiving emails from someone calling himself CmdrTaco?
Malda seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?
Good Lord. What is Taco-snotting?
Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?
I cant stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?
Have you ever been Taco-snotted?
Thats horrible. Does Taco-snotting have anything to do with CmdrTacos special taco?
Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.
Are you getting hard writing this?
No, thanks. Im already CmdrTacos boi toi.
________________________________________*snicker*