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User: SmurfButcher+Bob

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  1. Re:How about RIAA and MPAA suits? on MS Indemnifies Customers Against IP Threats · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Actually, spin it the other way -

    IIS makes for a wonderful "distribution and piracy tool", and Microsoft not only makes it... they've historically and systematically installed it onto users' machines without the user even knowing about it.

  2. Re:Check out the US Patent Examiner... on Dell Infringes on Patent by Selling Overseas? · · Score: 1

    That's an idea. I was thinking you'd patent using my "patented techniques" to store / retrieve ASCII interpretable data :)

  3. Re:Microsoft asks that on Microsoft Offers to License the Internet · · Score: 1

    Hey, that was the only way that Microsoft could get out of having to license the software to themselves.

  4. Re:Check out the US Patent Examiner... on Dell Infringes on Patent by Selling Overseas? · · Score: 1

    Big deal.

    I just filed a patent on anything *retrieves* data from all of these systems.

    And a second patent to actually *use* that data.

  5. Re:Check out the US Patent Examiner... on Dell Infringes on Patent by Selling Overseas? · · Score: 1

    Great... the USPTO is populated by washouts who couldn't even handle VB or Java. Something tells me that to gain the approval of a patent merely requires the inclusion of a single permutation of a buzzword that the clerk hasn't seen yet. Considering this, I'm inspired to file for a new "pan-dimensional database structure" that I've just invented. And maybe a new "transcendental database structure", too.

    We need to be careful in any requests to disband this PTO group, though... they're prime PHB candidates, and we'd certainly be seeing them again.

  6. Re:9 years for emailing words. on Siblings Guilty of Spam Felony, Partner Acquitted · · Score: 1


    More like 9 years for repeatedly and intentionally initiating packet streams that directly resulted in the unintended and undesired impact in the state of several million networks and machines.

    And if he did *anything* in an attempt to defeat context-based access controls, there's probably a few DMCA violations in there as well.

    So no, he does not have a 1st amendment right to send packets to any Port25 he wants. Any more than I have a 1st amendment right to send packets to any Port23 and cause "undesired impact" to any machine I want.

  7. It IS down, I have PROOF! on AOL Subscribers Finding Greener Pastures · · Score: 3, Funny

    Compared to past years, my MTA logs for my company have shown a HUGE decline in inbound chain letters, and nested FWDs of FWDs of FWDs of FWDs of FWDs of FWDs of FWDs of FWDs of FWDs of FWDs of FWDs of FWDs of FWDs of FWDs of FWDs of ...

  8. Re:Smartphone of the future on Laser Powered Virtual Display · · Score: 1

    The lasik is NOT thrown in at "no extra cost" - you have to call a 900 number. :)

  9. Re:Except it wouldn't be a cat on Hypo-Allergenic Cats Now Available for Pre-Order · · Score: 1

    > I don't think what you want is a cat, what you want is an automaton.
    > Most people that love cats because cats have a character.

    What an arrogant putz you are.

    All my cats are special-need in some way. You can't possible have more character than that.

    Cat #0 is dead and gone, but he was a poly... one of those 21 pound, grey, pure-sinew and no fat bricks of a cat. His hobby was herding every other cat into the one place he couldn't reach, which was under the couch. Once he had all of them under it like sardines, he'd move the couch to expose them. He also enjoyed playing Godzilla with any cardboard products he could find, and had a natural hatred for rolled toilet paper. He finally bought it trying to chase a deer, which kicked him. As I said... he was a very big, very strong, brick of a cat. And kinda dumb, in hindsight.

    Cat #1 is a korat, was going to be destroyed because she was a runt and a poly. She defines territory based on people, not place. And despite being the smallest, she will out-eat and out-fight all of the others at the food dish. Her hobbies include chewing my hair when I'm trying to sleep, bossing the others around when we're near, beating my face with her tail, and catching birds in mid-flight. I put a suction-cup bird feeder on one of our picture windows just for her. Whether she's inside or out, it's a freakin riot. Especially if the window is open.

    Cat #2 is a marble, slightly depth impaired and a poly's poly. Add up all the pads front and back, and he's got like... hell, I think it's about 44 if you include the heels up above his wrists. Serious mutant. He's double-jointed and can lay on his stomach, flat as a pancake. Or, on his back for that matter. He is afraid of anything that makes noise, except the other cats. Them, he body slams no matter how much noise they make. His hobby is grabbing my computer chair, and dragging it (and me) away from my desk. Across the room kind of dragging. He likes to catch frogs, and slugs seem to always catch him. Every damned day, he comes home with a slug on him. Then he drags me across the floor. Every damned day. (My next chair will NOT have casters, I tell you know. As for the slugs, I dunno... maybe I should pre-salt him or something. They're just too damned quick for him to get away.)

    Cat #3 is a callico, another poly. Total curmudgeon, but loves tall men. As a stray who literally appeared from nowhere and moved in on us when we lived in a metro area, she's a solo cat and pretty much avoids the others. We often take her for walks across the road through the woods, and she follows or leads us along the paths and back. She'll often walk with various neighbors, also. She's the most aggressive hunter of the bunch. There's nothing funnier than looking up to see the top of an 80' pine swaying violently, only to see a very pissed off callico at the very top reaching for a squirrel that just jumped to another tree.

    Cat #4 is a mutt, with some obscure (and occasionally severe) environmental allergies. He watches specific TV shows, is the "Cassanova" of the bunch, and plays the "I'm not touching you" game with #3 at least once a week. He also tries to do this "Vulcan Mind Meld" thing when my wife is sleeping. It's very unnerving, and I can only hope it doesn't actually work.

    Cat #5 is a new arrival, and is deaf. His hobby seems to be tormenting the Lab across the street, since he knows where the invisible fence is. That, and the dog's barking doesn't bother him... he can't hear it. Total teenager, and stalks the other cats relentlessly. He fancies himself a lawn-shark, and will also follow us when we take walks across the street. He's little tougher to handle when we do this, though, because we have to keep ourselves within sight of him - if he goes non-visible in the brush, he won't be able to hear us and thinks he's lost. And while he's the most aggressive when playing, he's also the most docile / maullable when you pick him up. Not scared, just a lump ready to be petted. And he never purrs

  10. Re:Screw hypoallergenic... on Hypo-Allergenic Cats Now Available for Pre-Order · · Score: 1

    Actually, keeping the cats indoors might be the worst idea possible. Not only will they not get any exercise, but the vet bills will go through the roof (as will the home repair bills) when they tear each other (and everything else) to shreds. Outside, the three passives have got a few hundred acres to avoid the two terrors (and most fun) of the bunch. Inside... argh, perforations and lacerations on a weekly basis. Not a good idea, not for them, nor my couch, I think... :)

  11. Re:Note the bottom... on Nintendo Threatens Suicidegirls Over IP Use · · Score: 1

    Small detail -

    >> while the girl in question is doing something that would be otherwise harmless, i.e., listing favorite games, in this case it's lined right up with porn.

    It's not a girl. It's a guy, and he appears to be a subscriber.

  12. Re:VIA EMAIL ONLY on Nintendo Threatens Suicidegirls Over IP Use · · Score: 1

    ... or the spam filter kills it :)

  13. Re:SuicideGirls could reply on Nintendo Threatens Suicidegirls Over IP Use · · Score: 1

    Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of

    Dear Nintendo,
    It has come to our attention that one of your law firms has been illegally using one or more of our trademarked names and intellectual property in their emails...

  14. Re:Grow up? on Nintendo Threatens Suicidegirls Over IP Use · · Score: 1

    I somewhat agree - but I also disagree.

    a) Definately a result of a bot or google harvest.

    But,

    b) Neither the site nor the ISP should have to deal with this f*up. The phrase DUE CARE comes to mind, and there clearly isn't any present in this case. None.

    Does it belong on the main /. page? No, for the reason you describe. And yes, because it illustrates how the content provider is by default GUILTY. An entire pile of crap needs to be dealt with by the provider, simply because of the incompetence of / complete lack of dilligence by the sending law-firm. The cost of this crap comes straight out-of-pocket of the provider, with no prayer of reimbursement. In that sense, it belongs on the main page because there is no SLAP clause for a**holes who abuse such things, who blatently omit any "Due Care" in their actions. They are a bull in a china shop, and they know it, and there's not a damned thing anyone is going to do about it.

    It's a lot like spam, if you think about it... and it's just as egregious.

    Oh well, have a good one -

  15. Re:I thought only my cat wanted fresh food, etc. on Hypo-Allergenic Cats Now Available for Pre-Order · · Score: 1

    Heh.

    What's interesting is each cat seems to have a preference for what it kills. My wife has 5 cats (a new stray moved in a couple months ago), and we get a never-ending selection. The runt seems to enjoy larger birds. The calico (ex-stray)... brings home half-eaten rabbit asses. Never the head, always the ass. The fat one exclusively goes for frogs, and occasionally comes home with several slugs on him (I expect they probably chased him down and caught him.) The instigator (who's hobby is quite literally playing the "I'm not touching you" game with the callico, he'll stand there with his paw 1/4 inch from her face for over 5 minutes until she finally spits, then he just struts away) does the classic mole / snake thing, while #5 (the new stray, a deaf white one) has a death-wish and goes for baby raccoons, and so far two baby weasles and a black mink-like thing in the two months we've had him. I've repeatedly told #5 not to go after these, but you know, it doesn't matter... he's deaf.

  16. Screw hypoallergenic... on Hypo-Allergenic Cats Now Available for Pre-Order · · Score: 5, Funny

    Totally useless.

    How about a cat that doesn't shed, a cat that sleeps AT NIGHT instead of during the day, a cat that doesn't s**t behind the couch when you piss it off, a cat that is hairball resistant, a cat that doesn't care if the bowl isn't exactly full, a cat that can actually decide if it wants to be inside or outside (as opposed to wanting both simultaneously), a cat that views keyboards as natural preditors, a cat that will not release any "presents" in the house until said "gift" is completely DEAD, a cat that will actually kill said "gifts" that get into your house by other means, a cat that'll bring home USEFUL things instead of the typical birds, rabbits, mice, frogs... a new lawnmower would be nice once in awhile, or maybe some PC hardware - but no, it's always half-dead stuff.

    THAT would be a cat worth a couple grand.

  17. Re:More annoying than being regulated out... on Amazing Things Your Automobile Can't Do · · Score: 1

    My GOD no!

    Do NOT buy that GPS Sensor crap.

    Get a serial Garmin OEM kit, like a GPS35. $25, it's the engine with no display, and no markup. The same engine you'll find in the $$$$ III, IV, V, streetpilot, etc. $25 bucks, and it's not a toy.

    Pick your favorite of either serial (for Ipaq etc) or USB. Buying that trash you suggested is like paying $50 for a Belkin printer cable... or in this case, $150 for... uh, something that actually is worth less than $20.

    FYI.

  18. Re:Can't you just see it now??? on Amazing Things Your Automobile Can't Do · · Score: 1

    Driving would eventually become more more hazardous with the advent of "Popup Billboards".

  19. Re:It's too easy on Amazing Things Your Automobile Can't Do · · Score: 3, Funny

    Yeah, well you left out the hardest part -

    The damned tests are written entirely in German!

  20. Best TShirt ever on Greatest Equations Ever · · Score: 1

    ...And God Said,

    E.dA = q/e0
    B.dA = 0
    E.ds = -d/dt( B.dA)
    B.ds = m0.( I + d/dt (e0. E.dA))
    ... and there was light.

    Dammit, integral symbol won't render :(

  21. Re:1+1=2? on Greatest Equations Ever · · Score: 1

    1 + 1 = 0 (with an overflow) and an exploit two days later.

  22. Re:This history of payola on Spitzer Takes On Record Industry Payola · · Score: 1

    Actually, I know my history very well. Stations with DJs picking music got creamed. Not because of raw audience numbers... more like...

    who's listening?

    Men? Women? What age?

    People paying for the station (advertisers) will want to know these things. You sell Joysticks. Nice ones. Who buys them?

    Well, you've got $100k for your ad campaign. You can buy hip-hop stations, or you can buy rap stations. Something tells me you're wasting your money.

    You can buy CHR or country, but again... you'll lose. Those targets are women, and women don't play computer games.

    So, you'll do some research on who DOES buy your joysticks. And, you'll want to know what station can guarantee that audience.

    A DJ who picks whatever he wants will NOT fulfill that requirement. You just mortgaged your house for this cash, for chrissakes.

    If the bulk of listeners are kids, women, and/or old men, you're screwed. None of these people care about your product.

    You want 18-35 males, and you want all of them (and only them). From the ad perspective, which is what pays for radio, if I can't guarantee you a specific target... you'll go someplace that does. I'd rather have 30,000 of a specific target than 100,000 of god-knows-what. You'll never hear ads for Hearing Aids on a Top40 station. Think about why that is.

    So no, it's not that simple as "fire the DJ". As a PD, you need to build a coherent audience group, the ears of which can be sold. Then, you can have sales pigs sell them to someone. THAT is the purpose of radio. Rock stations are all about beers, bars, and cars. CHR/Top40 (includes "hot country") is all about tampons and ladies nights. Notice the pattern? There's a reason... if you want to reach women who can afford a $30,000 SUV, you advertise here. If you want to reach men capable of affording a $40,000 sports car, you advertise there. A DJ picking music won't generate that coherence, meaning advertisers will spend on (and pay for) a station that can.

    The only way a DJ can play a trainwrecked format is if they intend to operate with no income (since who the f*** would advertise on it), and guess what... the free market will (and did) exterminate this. The audience is not the customer. The advertiser is.

  23. Re:This history of payola on Spitzer Takes On Record Industry Payola · · Score: 1

    Heh, my wife comes home each night, bitching about her air-staff. Some of them just don't get it... they honestly think they should be able to "pick and play what they want".

    She often listens to their playlist suggestions, writes them down, does some research... then calmly shows them that if they actually programmed the station that way, the station would have exactly ONE listener... namely, the putz who suggested the playlist.

    One putz actually said it'd be really cool to play one of the scores from the LOTR soundtrack during mid-days. "Listeners would really enjoy it!" Yeah, but not me, nor any other person that I've ever met in real life... and certainly not while in my car, and for @#$# sake, not IN BETWEEN GODSMACK (keep away) and METALICA (sandman).

    A station where the jock got to pick what they want would be really neat; the sad part is, everyone but that jock would absolutely HATE it.

  24. Re:This history of payola on Spitzer Takes On Record Industry Payola · · Score: 1

    Well, as the husband of a PD for a (non-CC) rock station, I can quite plainly state that you're out of your f*ing mind.

    Radio has nothing to do with music.

    Radio is about, and only about, and exactly about recruiting a very specific demographic audience, for the exact and specific purpose of selling air-time to advertisers who wish to target that demographic. Music is simply and ONLY one tool to facilitate that objective.

    I'm not even IN radio and I understand this concept. Consider, for example, why radio stations run CONTESTS. For you to suggest otherwise... clueless, and "la-la-land" was a much kinder expression than I would have chosen. You clearly have no clue about how programming even works.

    a) The PD is given a primary target demo by sales.
    b) The PD is given a secondary target demo by sales.
    c) PD researches what the primary wants to hear. This will constitute the bulk of the programming.
    d) PD will make occasional adds to suppliment the secondary.
    e) There are a finite number of "slots" available in a given hour.
    f) There are a finite number of hours in a given day-part.
    g) Cume (the TOTAL pool of listeners available) varies greatly by day-part. The cume at 8am on Tuesday, for example, is vastly larger than at 4am on Sunday.
    h) The PD will prioritize the most important day-parts.
    h.1) Important day-parts will be played "by the book", with NO RISK TAKEN. A .1% share variance can easily mean 10k listeners just tuned out.
    h.2) Crap day-parts (overnights) will be used to suppliment "spin-counts", where new or untested music receives air-play. Risk in overnights is much lower; a 2.0% share variance might only mean... uh, one guy went to bed.
    i) There are a finite number of slots available in these day-parts.
    j) There are a finite number of song-sequences that will "work". While Metallica and Pink Floyd might both be popular, if you play them back-to-back, you're an IDIOT. The result is affectionately called "a trainwreck".
    k) One big rule is "thou shalt not play two unfamiliar songs back-to-back when dealing with 25-54 year old white males".
    l) Rock stations typically target 25-54 white males. Aggressive rock stations target 18-45 white males.
    m) Rock stations will follow that One Big Rule. Familiarity is a major selling point with that target demographic. "Strange" music can often result in the listener perceiving a trainwreck, and flipping channels.
    n) There's not one hell of a lot of room for new (untried) music, when you consider all of this. You'll also never hear it during high-cume day-parts (risk).
    o) Most indie music does crap on the charts (because it gets no airplay, which sucks. Catch 22.)
    p) Given finite slots, and a song that is popular vs. a song that is unknown, guess who loses.
    q) Indie songs that become popular will get added quickly, however. Nirvana, for example.

    You'll note a recurring theme - nowhere is the "quality" of the music considered. Nowhere does the typical "mainstream" rock station ever BREAK NEW MUSIC. The PD will see if the song has ALREADY DEMONSTRATED that the primary demo wants it, or occasionally that the secondary demo wants it and the primary will at least tolerate it.

    And ALL of this is done to build a PREDICTABLE pool of listeners that will be present when the ADVERTISEMENTS begin. It has NOTHING to do with the music; the music is merely one of several methods of accomplishing it.

  25. Re:Internet Standards... on Bell's Axioms on Standards · · Score: 1

    Ah, yes... three magic words. "Standard", "proprietary", and "prosecuted". I'm inspired to think of the best example you could ever have -

    Adobe Acrobat.