Not to mention that I'd get over it and come after you.
No actually, you wouldn't get over it. You're dead. Everything that you were is gone, everything that you could be is gone, everybody who cares about you has a gaping hole in their life. Rape leaves something that can continue to grow. When you are dead, you're dead.
Usually in situations where the parents have to give consent for their 14 year old to engage in sex it's an after the fact thing. The idea is that young people do experiment. If a 15 year old boy and a 15 year old girl experiment together, the parents may not always want to send their children off to jail (or their neighbor's children.) So the law allows for the parents to make the decision of whether their children were particularily harmed.
If you want paranoid (and in this case paranioa is a good thing) here are some more tips:
- cab money, you don't want to be dependant on this guy for anything - make sure your friends/family know where you are going and when you can be expected to be home - if you are a drinker, stay sober
It looks like you've already crossed one of the lines that people here have been recommending against: meeting people for the first time with a group of trusted friends.
But be aware, that the odds are better than 90% that this guy is nice and you don't want to ruin a chance at a great relationship by treating him like Jack the Ripper. Just be aware and don't get into situations where you have absolutely no control.
The frequency of an event happening doesn't make the event any less impacting on the lives of the people involved. Let's not trivialize horrible things in our effort to promote how terrible rape is. We all know it's bad, but saying that it's worse than some other awful thing is silly.
Reading back over this, I think it would be wise of me to point out that I'm not saying that rape victims find joy, happyness or love in the act of rape. It's in the rest of their lives that I am saying they can experience these.
Statutory rape and rape are different things. In some places a couple can be loving and caring, have sex, and because of a little thing like age it's considered rape (a 19 year old boy and a 17 year old girl two weeks shy of her 18th birthday...) Most states provide for "experimentation" in their laws. It's common to have clauses that allow for four year age differences as long as they are above a certain age. In Utah (where I live) the law is such:
1 - Either individual is less than 14, then it's statutory rape in all cases. 2 - Both individuals between 14 and 17, then it's ok. 3 - One individual 18 or older, then they have to be withing four years of each other. So a 17 year old and a 21 year old are "legal" to date and do what they want.
Of course, it has to be consensual in all cases.
Not that this has anything to do with the discussion at hand. The cop is woefully misinformed and Kira489 was terribly assaulted by the rapist and completely unprotected by the law.
Sure, a dead person never has to deal with the nightmares and the fears that a rape victim has to deal with. But they never have to deal with the love, happyness, and joy that a rape victim has to deal with either. Who has been harmed more, the person who has had everything taken from them or the person who is left with something to rebuild their life from?
You're male, aren't you. I mean to say that this kind of "it's not that bad" thinking usually comes from people who it's not likely to happen to.
Grow up. "Males" are also victims of rape. Your opinion is worse than that of the person you replied to. At least "he" said rape is a terrible thing. You totally negate the male victims of rape by claiming that "it's not likely to happen to [them]." It happens to men and it's at least as bad as when it happens to women, if not worse. I know a man who was raped and all of the conventional support and recovery groups turned him away. In one case the "counselors" even castigated him for coming to them for help in dealing with what happened to him. What, because he's "male" he's not human and doesn't have the same feelings that other victims have? That's why I will never donate to any of the local organizations, or their national parent organizations. Fortunately, it is an event that people can recover from and go on to live happy, healthy, love filled lives with all of the human joys that people who have never been raped enjoy.
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Not to mention that I'd get over it and come after you.
No actually, you wouldn't get over it. You're dead. Everything that you were is gone, everything that you could be is gone, everybody who cares about you has a gaping hole in their life. Rape leaves something that can continue to grow. When you are dead, you're dead.
I interpreted it to mean that even if you are found innocent, being falsely accused still affects your life.
Usually in situations where the parents have to give consent for their 14 year old to engage in sex it's an after the fact thing. The idea is that young people do experiment. If a 15 year old boy and a 15 year old girl experiment together, the parents may not always want to send their children off to jail (or their neighbor's children.) So the law allows for the parents to make the decision of whether their children were particularily harmed.
If you want paranoid (and in this case paranioa is a good thing) here are some more tips:
- cab money, you don't want to be dependant on this guy for anything
- make sure your friends/family know where you are going and when you can be expected to be home
- if you are a drinker, stay sober
It looks like you've already crossed one of the lines that people here have been recommending against: meeting people for the first time with a group of trusted friends.
But be aware, that the odds are better than 90% that this guy is nice and you don't want to ruin a chance at a great relationship by treating him like Jack the Ripper. Just be aware and don't get into situations where you have absolutely no control.
The frequency of an event happening doesn't make the event any less impacting on the lives of the people involved. Let's not trivialize horrible things in our effort to promote how terrible rape is. We all know it's bad, but saying that it's worse than some other awful thing is silly.
If you believe in corporal punishment, it would be as easy to argue for "rape" as it is for "execution" in certain cases.
Reading back over this, I think it would be wise of me to point out that I'm not saying that rape victims find joy, happyness or love in the act of rape. It's in the rest of their lives that I am saying they can experience these.
Statutory rape and rape are different things. In some places a couple can be loving and caring, have sex, and because of a little thing like age it's considered rape (a 19 year old boy and a 17 year old girl two weeks shy of her 18th birthday...) Most states provide for "experimentation" in their laws. It's common to have clauses that allow for four year age differences as long as they are above a certain age. In Utah (where I live) the law is such:
1 - Either individual is less than 14, then it's statutory rape in all cases.
2 - Both individuals between 14 and 17, then it's ok.
3 - One individual 18 or older, then they have to be withing four years of each other. So a 17 year old and a 21 year old are "legal" to date and do what they want.
Of course, it has to be consensual in all cases.
Not that this has anything to do with the discussion at hand. The cop is woefully misinformed and Kira489 was terribly assaulted by the rapist and completely unprotected by the law.
Sure, a dead person never has to deal with the nightmares and the fears that a rape victim has to deal with. But they never have to deal with the love, happyness, and joy that a rape victim has to deal with either. Who has been harmed more, the person who has had everything taken from them or the person who is left with something to rebuild their life from?
You're male, aren't you. I mean to say that this kind of "it's not that bad" thinking usually comes from people who it's not likely to happen to.
Grow up. "Males" are also victims of rape. Your opinion is worse than that of the person you replied to. At least "he" said rape is a terrible thing. You totally negate the male victims of rape by claiming that "it's not likely to happen to [them]." It happens to men and it's at least as bad as when it happens to women, if not worse. I know a man who was raped and all of the conventional support and recovery groups turned him away. In one case the "counselors" even castigated him for coming to them for help in dealing with what happened to him. What, because he's "male" he's not human and doesn't have the same feelings that other victims have? That's why I will never donate to any of the local organizations, or their national parent organizations. Fortunately, it is an event that people can recover from and go on to live happy, healthy, love filled lives with all of the human joys that people who have never been raped enjoy.