As a parent of an almost 15 yr old who has his own internet connection in his room I say trust 'em.
When he was young and we first got on the 'net the computer was in a common room and I occasionally would look and see what the kids were doing on line.
The only rule I had then was NO CHATROOMS. I enforced it and talked about why I felt this was necessary - the kids were 8,8 and 4 at the time.
We talked about internet safety in general and specifically. It worked well.
I never had a net nanny installed or blocked sites - we talked about what was and was not appropriate and that they would lose ALL computer time if they were doing something they knew was wrong. Worked wonders.
He is 15 now and very computer saavy - I trust him to do the right thing - and if he gets in a jam I will help him out - with the understanding that we will discuss it after I come down from the ceiling. We have never had to do that.
As a teen he has friends with whom he wishes to talk without being listened to - he has a right to his privacy. He has the right to be able to do his thing - HOWEVER - if doing his thing involves anything that I consider immoral, or unethical then we have a problem.
We may not always agree on things but he knows he has earned my trust in being online and does not abuse it. He also realizes that things have a way of coming back and biting him in the a## is he messes up.
His younger brother uses the common area computers to go online and is still monitored somewhat closely. Why? Because he is only 10 and is still rather impulsive and trusting. He too is learning the rules for internet negotiation - his older brother is teaching him as well.
Have they ever gone to sites I think are "bad" You betcha - but we talk about them and discuss the situation seriously - and most times I see their point in going there. (this does not include porn)
As to porn - has my teen ager seen it? Probably - am I totally freaked ( well a little) but then again we have discussed how I feel about porn and why and he seems to get it. Will he look at porn again? Probably - but knowing how I (his Mom)feel and thinking in terms of "would you want your sister to do this?? has,hopefully made a difference.
One of these days he is going to be on his own - I would hope that he will have the skills he needs to cope in a world that is so different than the one I grew up in.
"The disturbing part here is Scientology's continuing attempt to treat opposing views or information as derivative products of their ideas, and shut them down as if they were an IP violation. Maybe what Enron should have done is patent the concept of cooked books, and sued anyone talking about it."
The reason scientology does this is because they have to - Hubbard wrote that one should always attack and never defend. He also wrote that anyone who critisizes scientology is a criminal and all cos has to do is find the crime - do a full investigation of the person and expose their crime(s) and all criticism will disappear. He also added if you can't find one - make one up - thus on pickets people will hear the scientologists ask "Have you stopped beating your wife?" - or "So, what about the molestation charge" If you read http://www.religiousfreedomwatch.org/extremi sts/ you can see how the cos puts this doctrine into action.
The court case has been a long one, which is typical of scientology - delays, continuances, snowing the case under with motions etc. The whole idea of a law suit in scientology is not to win but to harass - in the hopes that the person will give up or run out of money for lawyers or both.
"However when you throw parasites, i.e. children, into the equation, everything else suffers due to their endless needs."
Aren't you glad your parents did not feel this way?
"All I see about childrearing is lots of negatives involving work, time and cash. What positive feedback do parents get from rasing children?"
There are positives - not always easy to find and yes raising children is a time consuming and often mind numbing job - it takes time and effort to know what they are watching/playing/reading and who they are hanging out with and monitoring things like homework and so on BUT - it is worth it as you watch this new person grow and become. Watching a child break the code of reading and seeing their delight in their new ability is seeing the world for the first time through new eyes. Listening to them as they grow and learn and develop their own theories of life can be enlightening. I have learned a lot from my children - and because of them have been forced to learn more than I ever thought possible.
Fitting a career into the mix is never easy for anyone. Often times it is the woman who stays home and forgoes a career and the man continues his.
Yes raising children is hard and yes it eats into your "free time" but if we all decided NOT to have kids then where would the human race end up?
Choose to not have them - many do but do not denigrate those of us who have chosen to have children and raise them in this very complex and sometimes dangerous society.
"THAT makes me a geek, and explains why we deride the sheeple so venemously - Because most people will not even look up a word they don't know, prefering to stay ignorant. Unforgiveable, and those of us who do take the initiative to better ourselves most certainly should not accomodate those too lazy to do likewise. They want to stay ignorant? Fine, they can serve my fries (until we completely automate the fast-food industry) and I'll spare them the jargon."
The arrogance! For many people computers and their use are still a mystery to be feared. People need to understand what this thing is and how it works and using jargon is hardly helpful. Taking the time to teach someone what it is all about is more likely to calm their fears and reservations than standing there in all your geekdom looking down on them for now knowing something.
We have three children - one is a total geek who is totally into computers, one is beginning to embrace all the computer has to offer, and the third uses the computer mainly as a word processor for school and is not interested in much beyond that. The geek thinks the non-computer user is an idiot and by thier saying so has made the non-user less likely to even try and learn anything about computers.
I have learned alot from the time I have spent on my computer - how things work etc. but I refuse to use too much tech jargon when talking to my spouse who is also a non-tech non-computer person.
Tone down the jargon - teach a little with some patience and understanding always remembering you were a newbie once and more people may be willing to learn.
Slashdot Mirror
As a parent of an almost 15 yr old who has his own internet connection in his room I say trust 'em.
,hopefully made a difference.
When he was young and we first got on the 'net the computer was in a common room and I occasionally would look and see what the kids were doing on line.
The only rule I had then was NO CHATROOMS. I enforced it and talked about why I felt this was necessary - the kids were 8,8 and 4 at the time.
We talked about internet safety in general and specifically. It worked well.
I never had a net nanny installed or blocked sites - we talked about what was and was not appropriate and that they would lose ALL computer time if they were doing something they knew was wrong. Worked wonders.
He is 15 now and very computer saavy - I trust him to do the right thing - and if he gets in a jam I will help him out - with the understanding that we will discuss it after I come down from the ceiling. We have never had to do that.
As a teen he has friends with whom he wishes to talk without being listened to - he has a right to his privacy. He has the right to be able to do his thing - HOWEVER - if doing his thing involves anything that I consider immoral, or unethical then we have a problem.
We may not always agree on things but he knows he has earned my trust in being online and does not abuse it. He also realizes that things have a way of coming back and biting him in the a## is he messes up.
His younger brother uses the common area computers to go online and is still monitored somewhat closely. Why? Because he is only 10 and is still rather impulsive and trusting. He too is learning the rules for internet negotiation - his older brother is teaching him as well.
Have they ever gone to sites I think are "bad" You betcha - but we talk about them and discuss the situation seriously - and most times I see their point in going there. (this does not include porn)
As to porn - has my teen ager seen it? Probably - am I totally freaked ( well a little) but then again we have discussed how I feel about porn and why and he seems to get it. Will he look at porn again? Probably - but knowing how I (his Mom)feel and thinking in terms of "would you want your sister to do this?? has
One of these days he is going to be on his own - I would hope that he will have the skills he needs to cope in a world that is so different than the one I grew up in.
Letting go is hard but hanging on is harder
Yduz
"The disturbing part here is Scientology's continuing attempt to treat opposing views or information as derivative products of their ideas, and shut them down as if they were an IP violation. Maybe what Enron should have done is patent the concept of cooked books, and sued anyone talking about it."
i sts/
The reason scientology does this is because they have to - Hubbard wrote that one should always attack and never defend. He also wrote that anyone who critisizes scientology is a criminal and all cos has to do is find the crime - do a full investigation of the person and expose their crime(s) and all criticism will disappear. He also added if you can't find one - make one up - thus on pickets people will hear the scientologists ask "Have you stopped beating your wife?" - or "So, what about the molestation charge" If you read
http://www.religiousfreedomwatch.org/extrem
you can see how the cos puts this doctrine into action.
The court case has been a long one, which is typical of scientology - delays, continuances, snowing the case under with motions etc. The whole idea of a law suit in scientology is not to win but to harass - in the hopes that the person will give up or run out of money for lawyers or both.
Yduz
"However when you throw parasites, i.e. children, into the equation, everything else suffers due to their endless needs."
Aren't you glad your parents did not feel this way?
"All I see about childrearing is lots of negatives involving work, time and cash. What positive feedback do parents get from rasing children?"
There are positives - not always easy to find and yes raising children is a time consuming and often
mind numbing job - it takes time and effort to know what they are watching/playing/reading and who they are hanging out with and monitoring things like homework and so on BUT - it is worth it as you watch this new person grow and become. Watching a child break the code of reading and seeing their delight in their new ability is seeing the world for the first time through new eyes. Listening to them as they grow and learn and develop their own theories of life can be enlightening. I have learned a lot from my children - and because of them have been forced to learn more than I ever thought possible.
Fitting a career into the mix is never easy for anyone. Often times it is the woman who stays home and forgoes a career and the man continues his.
Yes raising children is hard and yes it eats into your "free time" but if we all decided NOT to have kids then where would the human race end up?
Choose to not have them - many do but do not denigrate those of us who have chosen to have children and raise them in this very complex and sometimes dangerous society.
Yduzitmatter
"THAT makes me a geek, and explains why we deride the sheeple so venemously - Because most people will not even look up a word they don't know, prefering to stay ignorant. Unforgiveable, and those of us who do take the initiative to better ourselves most certainly should not accomodate those too lazy to do likewise. They want to stay ignorant? Fine, they can serve my fries (until we completely automate the fast-food industry) and I'll spare them the jargon."
The arrogance! For many people computers and their use are still a mystery to be feared. People need to understand what this thing is and how it works and using jargon is hardly helpful. Taking the time to teach someone what it is all about is more likely to calm their fears and reservations than standing there in all your geekdom looking down on them for now knowing something.
We have three children - one is a total geek who is totally into computers, one is beginning to embrace all the computer has to offer, and the third uses the computer mainly as a word processor for school and is not interested in much beyond that. The geek thinks the non-computer user is an idiot and by thier saying so has made the non-user less likely to even try and learn anything about computers.
I have learned alot from the time I have spent on my computer - how things work etc. but I refuse to use too much tech jargon when talking to my spouse who is also a non-tech non-computer person.
Tone down the jargon - teach a little with some patience and understanding always remembering you were a newbie once and more people may be willing to learn.
yduzitmatter