I've had similar feelings for almost a year now. I started in CS because I loved the problem solving challenge along with the reward of creating works of art and the shame with pieces of trash. I made very good grades and worked part time, first in the school's physics lab doing network programming. I got my feet wet with Richard Steven's books, Linux, and a gigabit switch! My next internship was in the corporate world. I learned about vendors and beauracracy (but not how to spell it). I took lead on a very significant project and completed it. I started taking time from school, because I thought it would be equally important to have the practical experience. But it has sucked the life out of me. I've learned that I don't want to spend the better part of my life writing someone's stupid e-whatever app.
I just got back into school full time this semester, but find myself dropping out of my classes. I just don't have the motivation to sit through CS class. It's depressing. It pisses me off. I've worked hard for this and now I have no desire to make it a career. And it always seems so stereotypical that you have to rush through college to get the piece of paper to land head first into a job. That's total bullshit.
I jump around each week to a new topic trying to find a specialty; last week kernel stuff, this week encrpytion, next week graphics. I really want to work on a higher degree, but I want the freedom and liesure to choose what interests me whenever. It's like an obssessive hobby. I'm always frustrated. I want to learn everything. I know that is not possible. But, I don't want to be someone's tool.
It has me so depressed. I'm 22. I'm suppose to be graduating. But now I'm thinking that the only way to preserve my sanity is to move away and change my major. I have no idea what to do. I'm shooting in the dark. But I do know that now , while I am still young, is the best time to take the alternate routes.
So my advice to you is to read "Quarterlife Crisis" (ISBN 1-58542-106-5). It will not solve your problems, but it will help open your mind to new ideas and let you know that you are not the only one with this struggle.
I think the author is forgetting that Linux was written to be an improvement of Minix. Free software developers and users contribute with feedback, patches and improvements because they love the mental challenge and the reward of creating usefull (or not so usefull) software for EVERYONE to use. It's a hobby. And I think it's wrong to ponder over how Linux will compete with corporate business. If corporate business wants to adopt Linux as a usefull tool, then they should ask themselves if they are ready to become a part of a community that strives on strong participation from the user and developer.
Slashdot Mirror
I've had similar feelings for almost a year now. I started in CS because I loved the problem solving challenge along with the reward of creating works of art and the shame with pieces of trash. I made very good grades and worked part time, first in the school's physics lab doing network programming. I got my feet wet with Richard Steven's books, Linux, and a gigabit switch! My next internship was in the corporate world. I learned about vendors and beauracracy (but not how to spell it). I took lead on a very significant project and completed it. I started taking time from school, because I thought it would be equally important to have the practical experience. But it has sucked the life out of me. I've learned that I don't want to spend the better part of my life writing someone's stupid e-whatever app.
I just got back into school full time this semester, but find myself dropping out of my classes. I just don't have the motivation to sit through CS class. It's depressing. It pisses me off. I've worked hard for this and now I have no desire to make it a career. And it always seems so stereotypical that you have to rush through college to get the piece of paper to land head first into a job. That's total bullshit.
I jump around each week to a new topic trying to find a specialty; last week kernel stuff, this week encrpytion, next week graphics. I really want to work on a higher degree, but I want the freedom and liesure to choose what interests me whenever. It's like an obssessive hobby. I'm always frustrated. I want to learn everything. I know that is not possible. But, I don't want to be someone's tool.
It has me so depressed. I'm 22. I'm suppose to be graduating. But now I'm thinking that the only way to preserve my sanity is to move away and change my major. I have no idea what to do. I'm shooting in the dark. But I do know that now , while I am still young, is the best time to take the alternate routes.
So my advice to you is to read "Quarterlife Crisis" (ISBN 1-58542-106-5). It will not solve your problems, but it will help open your mind to new ideas and let you know that you are not the only one with this struggle.
Good luck
I think the author is forgetting that Linux was written to be an improvement of Minix. Free software developers and users contribute with feedback, patches and improvements because they love the mental challenge and the reward of creating usefull (or not so usefull) software for EVERYONE to use. It's a hobby. And I think it's wrong to ponder over how Linux will compete with corporate business. If corporate business wants to adopt Linux as a usefull tool, then they should ask themselves if they are ready to become a part of a community that strives on strong participation from the user and developer.