Yes, IP bans are fully effective. Unfortunately, I did not get IP banned on Friday. I tried, but was not successful.
If we are going to be grammatically picky, you should not start your sentence with the word "And". Your sentence should actually be formatted, "No, BrokenHeartsAreForAssholes, and it's 'flaming', with one 'm'. If there were 2 m's, it would rhyme with "slamming", which would be stupid. "
JonKatz homosexuality is dying
Yet another crippling bombshell hit the beleaguered JonKatz community when last month IDC confirmed that JonKatz accounts for less than a fraction of 1 percent of all homosexual fantasies. Coming on the heels of the latest GayMale weekly survey which plainly states that JonKatz has lost more market share, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. JonKatz is collapsing in complete disarray, as further exemplified by failing dead last [wsu.edu] in the recent Homosexual.com comprehensive ass-raping test.
You don't need to be a CmdrTaco [wsu.edu] to predict JonKatz's future. The hand writing is on the wall: JonKatz faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for JonKatz because JonKatz is dying. Things are looking very bad for JonKatz. As many of us are already aware, JonKatz continues to lose market share. Bloody sperm flows like a river of blood. JonKatz is the most endangered homosexual Slashdot author of them all.
Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
Slashdot leader CowboyNeal states that there are 7000 homosexual fantasies of JonKatz. How many ass rapings of JonKatz are there? Let's see. The number of homosexual fantasies involving JonKatz versus ass-rapings involving JonKatz posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 homosexual JonKatz fantasy users. Anal penetraion of JonKatz posts on Usenet are about half of the volume of JonKatz homosexual fantasy posts. Therefore there are about 700 users of anal penetration of JonKatz. A recent article put reacharounds involving JonKatz at about 80 percent of the homosexual fantasies involving JonKatz market. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 fantasies involving JonKatz. This is consistent with the number of ass-rapings of JonKatz posts.
Due to the troubles of the Anal Sludge Eating Corporation, abysmal sales and so on, homosexual fantasies involving JonKatz went out of style and was taken over by fantasies involving CmdrTaco who sells himself on the street corner. Now CmdrTaco's Ass-Sex Company is also dead, its corpse turned over to another charnel house.
All major surveys show that JonKatz fantasies have steadily declined in market share. JonKatz is very sick and his long term homosexuality prospects are very dim. If JonKatz's homosexuality is to survive at all it will be among homosexual hobbyist dabblers. JonKatz homosexuality continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, JonKatz's homosexual fantasy is dead.
REDMOND, Wash. -- Oct. 18, 2001 -- Microsoft Corp. today announced revenue of $6.13 billion for the quarter ended Sept. 30, 2001, a 6 percent increase over the $5.77 billion reported in the prior year. Operating income totaled $2.90 billion compared to $2.78 billion in the prior year. Net income for the quarter was $1.28 billion including a $1.24 billion after-tax charge related to the impairment of certain publicly traded and private equity securities, predominantly in the cable and telecommunications industries. This charge is reflected in the $980 million investment loss reported this quarter. Diluted earnings per share for the September 2001 quarter were $0.23, including a $0.20 charge for net recognized investment losses which includes the impairment charge noted above.
"We reported solid revenue and operating results this quarter, fueled by strong customer demand for our Windows® 2000 and.NET Enterprise Server families, and our cost-control efforts," said John Connors, chief financial officer at Microsoft. "While we are looking forward to the upcoming launches of Windows XP, XboxTM and MSN® 7, we also recognize that this is a period of unprecedented global uncertainty that could have an impact on the economy and our business."
The Windows 2000 Server family had a stellar quarter, with sales growth of over 20 percent. "We were especially thrilled to see strong customer demand for Windows 2000 Advanced Server, which sold twice as many units as it did the previous year. These products are a rock-solid foundation for the entire.NET Enterprise Server lineup," said Brian Valentine, senior vice president for the Windows division at Microsoft. "These results demonstrate our customers' enthusiasm for the quality, value and performance offered in our enterprise-ready products and solutions."
The.NET Enterprise Server family of products also turned in an outstanding quarter with growth exceeding 30 percent, led by the continuing strength of SQL Server 2000 and Exchange 2000 Server. During the quarter, SQL Server 2000 was named Best Overall Database in this year's VARBusiness Annual Report Card and was deployed by customers such as Pennzoil, Nestlé and Marathon Oil. Exchange Server is the market-leading messaging and collaboration product and boasts over 94 million users. During the quarter, Microsoft also launched Content Management Server 2001, which enables companies to quickly and efficiently build, deploy and maintain highly dynamic Internet, intranet and extranet web sites.
Microsoft is set to deliver two highly anticipated products to customers during the coming quarter. On Oct. 25, Microsoft will launch Windows XP at events to be held in New York City and more than 60 other cities. Windows XP extends the personal computing experience by uniting PCs, devices and services, and brings the solid foundation of Windows 2000 to home PC users, enhancing reliability, security and performance.
On Nov. 15, Microsoft will launch Xbox, the future-generation video game system. The combination of Xbox's superior graphics performance and an extensive lineup of game titles from Microsoft and leading game-developers, such as Sega, Electronic Arts, THQ, Tecmo, Infogames, Activision, Konami and LucasArts, will deliver a revolutionary experience to gamers this holiday season.
Business Outlook
Management offers the following guidance for the quarter ending Dec. 31, 2001:
Revenue is expected to be in the range of $7.1 billion and $7.3 billion.
Operating income is expected to be in the range of $2.9 and $3.0 billion.
Diluted earnings per share is expected to be $0.49 or $0.50.
Management offers the following guidance for the full fiscal year ending June 30, 2002:
Revenue is expected to be in the range of $28.4 billion and $29.1 billion.
Operating income is expected to be in the range of $12.0 and $12.4 billion.
Diluted earnings per share is expected to be in the range of $1.61 to $1.66.
Webcast Details
Microsoft will hold an audio webcast at 2:30 p.m. PDT (5:30 p.m. EDT) today with John Connors to discuss additional details regarding the company's performance for the quarter and other forward-looking information. The session may be accessed at http://www.microsoft.com/msft/. The webcast will be available for replay through the close of business on Friday, Oct. 26, 2001.
Forward-Looking Statements
Statements in this release that are "forward-looking statements" are based on current expectations and assumptions that are subject to risks and uncertainties. Actual results could differ materially because of factors such as: entry into markets with vigorous competition, market acceptance of new products and services, adoption of new licensing programs, continued acceptance of existing products and services, delays in product development and related product release schedules, reliance on sole source suppliers, or shortages of key components for hardware products that delay product delivery, any of which may cause revenues and income to fall short of anticipated levels; the risk of obsolete inventory or product returns by distributors, resellers and retailers; the risk of warranty and other claims on hardware products; higher relative marketing expenses associated with new product releases; changes in the rate of PC shipments; technological shifts; customer demand for our product and services; the support of third party software developers for new or existing platforms; competitive products, services and pricing; changes in product and service mix; product life cycles; sale terms and conditions; the company's ability to efficiently integrate acquired businesses; implementation of cost structures that align with revenue growth; the financial condition of vendors, resellers and retailers; unavailability of insurance; or uninsured losses (including the effects of the terrorist attacks on the United States on Sept. 11, 2001); adverse results in litigation; the effects of terrorist activity and armed conflict such as disruptions in general economic activity and changes in our operations and security arrangements; general economic conditions that affect demand for computer hardware or software; currency fluctuations; and financial market volatility affecting the value of our investments that may result in a reduction in carrying value and recognition of losses.
For further information regarding risks and uncertainties associated with Microsoft's business, please refer to the "Management's Discussion and Analysis of Results of Operations and Financial Condition" and "Risk Factors" sections of Microsoft's SEC filings, including, but not limited to, its annual report on Form 10-K and quarterly reports on Form 10-Q, copies of which may be obtained by contacting Microsoft's investor relations department at 1-800-285-7772 or Microsoft's investor relations website at http://www.microsoft.com/msft.
All information in this release is as of Oct. 18, 2001. The company undertakes no duty to update any forward-looking statement to conform the statement to actual results or changes in the company's expectations.
Founded in 1975, Microsoft (Nasdaq "MSFT") is the worldwide leader in software, services and Internet technologies for personal and business computing. The company offers a wide range of products and services designed to empower people through great software -- any time, any place and on any device.
#########
Microsoft, Windows, Xbox and MSN are either registered trademarks or trademarks of Microsoft Corp. in the United States and/or other countries.
The names of actual companies and products mentioned herein may be the trademarks of their respective owners.
Note to editors: If you are interested in viewing additional information on Microsoft, please visit the Microsoft Web page at http://www.microsoft.com/presspass/ on Microsoft's corporate information pages. Shareholder and financial information as well as today's 2:30 p.m. PDT conference call with investors and analysts is available at http://www.microsoft.com/msft/.
For years now I've wondered if science could give us a better snack. Science has done much good for us in the snack department. I'm not saying it hasn't been a long bumpy road. Let's think about this for a bit. The pretzel is a good snack, but insufficient on its own. I've always found it a bit bland. Especially on an airplane where I want and deserve a nut.
But lets think about some other examples. The Granola bar had much potential. Especially it's chocolate covered variant, the Kudos bar. But at that point we've forsaken the health factor and you might as well just eath either a butterfinger or a nutrageous bar.
Then there are things that put "Fruit" in the name to fool your brain into thinking that they are healthy. This never fools your ass... it continues to just get fatter and fatter. Leading examples in this category is the Fruit Roll Up.
But today I discovered what may be the best snack ever. The Honey-Nut Chex Mix. Chex mix is great. It takes one of the only "Healthy" cereals that doesn't taste like crap, and mixes it up with the nuts that are now lacking in today's modern air craft. But I always wondered how to improve upon this design. Chocolate covering things is always a popular choice. Chocolate covered pretzels. Chocolate Covered Nuts. Chocolate Covered Chocolate. I mean, you can improve nearly anything by covering it in chocolate... at least so goes the theory. But I always foudn that overkill. Chocolate is like the one ton gorilla of candy. Sure it's powerful, but after you've let it ride you for a bit, you're just not gonna feel the same.
But honey nut chex mix solves the problem. The deception of being "Healthy" because it contains chex. The joy of a prezel. Little pseudo nut clusters... and it's all covered in "Honey Nut" (literally translated: some sticky coating and sugar). It's not quite as sticky as eating pure chocolate, so it even solves the messy problem of eating much sugar or chocolate covered snacks. And it tastes good too!
It's the perfect snack and it's all mine. Hands off biznatch.
Last Saturday a comment was posted here by an anonymous reader that contained text that was copyrighted by the Church of Scientology. They have since followed the DMCA and demanded that we remove the comment. While Slashdot is an open forum and we encourage free discussion and sharing of ideas, our lawyers have advised us that, considering all the details of this case, the comment should come down. Read on to understand what this means.
This is the first time since we instituted our moderation system that a comment has had to be removed because of its content, and believe me nobody is more broken hearted about it than me. It's a bad precedent, and a blow for the freedom of speech that we all share in this forum. But this simply doesn't look like a case we can win. Our lawyers tell us that it appears to be a violation of Copyright law, and under the terms of the DMCA, we must remove it. Else we risk legal action that would at best be expensive, and potentially cause Slashdot to go down temporarily or even permanently. At the worst, court orders could jeporadize your privacy, and we would be helpless to stop it.
We need to choose our battles and this isn't one we want to have. We want Slashdot to be a forum where you can say what's in your heart, but we simply can't defend an anonymous poster who violates copyright law. Keep that in mind when you post in both this discussion, and in others in the future. Post your ideas. Post your thoughts. And most of all, post your links. We need to play by the rules or it's game over.
Now there is the matter of this specific comment. It contained a text called "OT III", part of what is known as the Fishman Affidavit. This text is Copyrighted by the Church of Scientology. In compliance with the DMCA, we are removing it from Slashdot. In its place we are putting non-copyrighted text: Links to websites about the church of Scientology, as well as links to how you can contact your congressman about the DMCA. Thanks a lot to Jamie for putting this together.
First of all, we would like to point out that the text of OT III is available at many other places on the web. To many to list here in fact. Instead, try a Google search on "OT III" and "Fishman", which as of this writing (March 2001) returns over 250 pages. A broader search on AltaVista returns over 2,000 webpages.
Operating in the jurisdiction of the Dutch courts, Karin Spaink's Fishman Affidavit webpage has fended off two lawsuits from Scientology, one in 1996 and one in 1999. The latter suit, according to the page, is still being appealed. >From the link listed just above, you can click through to the Fishman Affidavit, which contains links to not only to an annotated copy of OT III, but to the documents on the other OT levels as well, number one through the disputed number eight.
If you would like a plain English explanation of OT III, see OT III Rewritten For Beginners, by Jon Atack. Its author is a former Scientologist who himself completed level OT III. The webpage contains nothing copyrighted by a Scientology organization. It is an explanation of what OT III says and what that means, along with commentary by the author. Jon Atack is also the author of A Piece of Blue Sky, which is a history of Scientology from before its founding to after L. Ron Hubbard's death. At the above link, you can either purchase it, or read it in its entirety online.
If you are interested in Scientology, you will want to visit Operation Clambake, at xenu.net. It seems to be the most important central resource for information on the organization.
You may also want to visit the Lisa McPherson Memorial Page, which claims that "Lisa died needlessly at the hands of Scientology." Her case is truly a tragic one and she deserves to be remembered. The site has a great deal of information on her death. Related is The Lisa McPherson Trust, which has not only information about Lisa, but a very large archive of interviews, court transcripts, news reports, testimonials, and videos about Scientology.
Here's a Slashdot story last year on eBay removing auctions for e-meters based on the Church of Scientology DMCA copyright allegations, which is odd because Copyright law doesn't cover a physical device.
If there's anything else about Scientology you want to know, you will want to see AltReligionScientology.org, which contains a huge list of links to all the sites I don't have room to list here.
The DMCA is actually five separate modifications to copyright law. Its Title I is known for providing legal protection for "technological measures" (typically encryption) which prevent copying; this is the part that empowered the MPAA to sue over DeCSS, to name the best-known example.
That's not the part that concerns us here; Title II is its other major modification of copyright law and that's what we're dealing with. Title II created 17 U.S.C. Section 512, and we're specifically looking at our liability under paragraphs (c)(1)(A), which says we have to act "expeditiously to remove or disable access to the [infringing] material." Here's the U.S. Copyright Office's 18-page summary of the DMCA as a whole. If 18 pages is too long for you, here's the American Library Association's much quicker summary
Here's a list of resources on the DMCA, including the DMCA itself in PDF format. The EFF page on the DCMA seems to relate mostly to Title I, the anti-encryption-circumvention portion, but it's too good not to mention anyway.
Don't know who your Congressperson or Senators are? That's OK, now's as good a time as any to learn. Finding your Senators is easy, just go to Senate.gov. To find your Representative, you just need your zip code. You can use the form on the website to write them if you're lazy, but if you want your message to have more impact, print it out and send it in a real envelope. Anything's better than nothing, though.
When you write, you'll want to write something they'll read. Here are the ACLU's tips for writing to your Congressperson or Senators.
NEW YORK -- Do the global terror links reach even as far as Sesame Street? Is Bert the Muppet a henchman of terrorist mastermind Usama bin Laden?
The answer is clearly no, but puzzled newspaper readers are still wondering how the Sesame Street icon ended up in a news service photograph of a pro-bin Laden protest in Bangladesh. The pictures showed demonstrators holding up a large poster in which bin Laden and Bert are standing next to each other.
The picture quickly began making the e-mail rounds Wednesday morning, astonishing people and provoking laughter from Los Angeles to Switzerland to South Korea.
The poster is a collage of pictures of bin Laden in white robes or in camouflage fatigues and sometimes lecturing with a microphone in his hand, all ringing a large portrait of the bearded Saudi exile. Along the bottom is printed "Usama." On the right side of the picture, just past the right shoulder of the large portrait, is irascible Bert, bosom buddy of Ernie.
The photographs do not appear to have been doctored. They were taken by news photographers covering at least two different demonstrations from different angles on at least two separate days.
The first known Bert-bin Laden posters appeared on Oct. 5 in the Bangladeshi capital, Dhaka, and photographs of them were printed by the Dutch news service Algemeen Nederlands Persbureau and the Associated Press and Reuters news services. At least one other photograph including the posters was taken at another location by Reuters photographer Rafiqur Rahman on Oct. 9.
Reuters spokeswoman Felicia Cosby said the photos were authentic.
Dino Ignacio
The original doctored image of Bert and Usama bin Laden.
"We've just noticed it ourselves, since you queried, that there is Bert on that poster," she said. "I don't know if they're mass-producing these posters, but what I can say is that it is definitely our policy not to doctor photographs."
Associated Press spokesman Jack Stokes said the AP photographs were also untouched.
"We haven't changed the photo at all," he said. "We have very strict editing guidelines."
The AP photographs were taken by Pavel Rahman. Stokes said he did not know if Rahman was another name for, or related to, Rafiqur Rahman.
Cosby said Rafiqur Rahman, a native Bangladeshi, did not know that he was photographing a Muppet when he covered a prayer demonstration for bin Laden's health Oct. 9.
"The photographer is as bemused as we are," she said. "He didn't know what that furry creature was."
Rahman is going to a local marketplace to hunt down more Bert-bin Laden posters Wednesday, Cosby said.
AP
Protesters in Dhaka, Bangladesh hold the infamous poster (emphasis added).
The creator of a parody Web site dedicated to "Evil Bert" said he had a theory about how an associate of Kermit the Frog, Big Bird and Snuffleupagus had been recruited into the Al Qaeda cause.
For several years, Dino Ignacio, 27, a San Francisco 3-D animator, had been maintaining a humor Web site that purported to "prove" that the bad-tempered, banana-shaped Jim Henson creation was connected to evil causes from Hitler and the JFK assassination to the stolen Pamela Anderson sex tapes and Kevin Costner movies. But he stopped maintaining the site when he lost interest in 1998.
A week after the World Trade Center and Pentagon attacks, someone e-mailed him an altered picture of bin Laden standing next to Bert wearing a trenchcoat and looking very angry. Ignacio didn't post the picture on his site out of respect for victims of the terror attack, but the picture began showing up on Bert fan sites and in other odd corners of the Internet.
"What I'm thinking is that [someone there] has access to the Internet, got this picture to pop up off of Alta Vista or Google and put together this collage," he said.
Of course, the other explanation might be that Bert has finally ditched Ernie, canceled his account at Mr. Hooper's shop and taken his Kalashnikov to the other side of the war.
Sesame Workshop issued a statement saying it was very unhappy with the sudden connection between a lovable character with a penchant for pigeons and bottlecaps and the most wanted man in the world.
"Sesame Street has always stood for mutual respect and understanding," a spokeswoman said. "We're outraged that our characters would be used in this unfortunate and distasteful manner. This is not at all humorous.The people responsible for this should be ashamed of themselves. We are exploring all legal options to stop this abuse and any similar abuses in the future."
When asked about Bert's current whereabouts, however, the spokeswoman replied: "No comment."
Regardless of the explanation, Ignacio said he doesn't find his "Evil Bert" idea very funny right now.
"It's weirding me out," he said. "It's like reality imitating the Web, but it's taking something that I did so much further. I don't want to get into this one because it's too real."
Hey Taco, When is/. going to start posting some good stories. I know I should be getting accustom to stories that suck like the ones that have been being posted lately, but come on.
Also, could you letting Katz post stories. I don't remember the last one that he posted that had any intelligence what so ever.
MEMORANDUM
To:
Senior Management Team
From:
Sales Department
Re:
Quarterly Report
Executive Summary
While Widget Inc.'s West and North Sales remained relatively steady, Eastern Sales dropped precipitously to normal levels in Q4 after last quarter's stellar growth due to inflationary pressures and increased demand. Year-Over-Year Performance was excellent in all regions. Overall growth in sales for all regions topped 32%. (East - 14%; West - 42%; North - 41%).
Margins also increased Year-Over-Year as 13% of Sales fell to the bottom line (compared to 11% last year). The increase in margins was mainly due the operating efficiencies achieved through the consolidation of distribution centers. Last quarter, 13 distribution centers were consolidated into 3 regional "super-centers". The disposal of the 10 distribution centers resulted in $3 million in cash and a long-term gain on assets of $1.8 million.
We are expecting sales next quarter to increase across the board as seasonality and increased demand due to competitive weakness act as key factors in top-line growth. In addition, increased advertising expenditures will have a positive effect. Overall, we are extremely happy with our results and confident that all future expectations with regard to top line growth will be met.
Damn Delay
While Widget Inc.'s West and North Sales remained relatively steady, Eastern Sales dropped precipitously to normal levels in Q4 after last quarter's stellar growth due to inflationary pressures and increased demand. Year-Over-Year Performance was excellent in all regions. Overall growth in sales for all regions topped 32%. (East - 14%; West - 42%; North - 41%).
Margins also increased Year-Over-Year as 13% of Sales fell to the bottom line (compared to 11% last year). The increase in margins was mainly due the operating efficiencies achieved through the consolidation of distribution centers. Last quarter, 13 distribution centers were consolidated into 3 regional "super-centers". The disposal of the 10 distribution centers resulted in $3 million in cash and a long-term gain on assets of $1.8 million.
We are expecting sales next quarter to increase across the board as seasonality and increased demand due to competitive weakness act as key factors in top-line growth. In addition, increased advertising expenditures will have a positive effect. Overall, we are extremely happy with our results and confident that all future expectations with regard to top line growth will be met.
TrollTech Releases Qt 3.0
Posted by Hemos on Monday October 15, @07:09PM
from the comin'-at-you dept.
Dr. Sp0ng writes: "TrollTech released Qt 3.0 today. Among the new features are platform- and database-independent data-access features, data-aware GUI widgets, a much-updated Qt Designer, and much better internationalization and font handling features. It breaks binary compatibility but keeps almost complete source compatibility with Qt 2.x. The KDE team has already begun work on KDE 3.0, which will use the new toolkit."
Slashdot Mirror
Hey, could you imagine a Beowulf cluster of these?
a/s/l?
If only it weren't for that damn 20 second delay.
Kiss it!!!
Yes, IP bans are fully effective. Unfortunately, I did not get IP banned on Friday. I tried, but was not successful.
If we are going to be grammatically picky, you should not start your sentence with the word "And". Your sentence should actually be formatted, "No, BrokenHeartsAreForAssholes, and it's 'flaming', with one 'm'. If there were 2 m's, it would rhyme with "slamming", which would be stupid. "
Now, please go pound sand up your ass.
Bad troll, bad troll... You got positive mods for that!!!
a/s/l?
I claim this story and all of it's postings in the name of trolls.
Post your hearts our Trolls.
I really hate you.
I wish you would get some balls and post under an account so I could know who the hell I am flamming.
If you're gonna steal first post, at least make it a good crap flood you fag.
Grow a set.
JonKatz homosexuality is dying
Yet another crippling bombshell hit the beleaguered JonKatz community when last month IDC confirmed that JonKatz accounts for less than a fraction of 1 percent of all homosexual fantasies. Coming on the heels of the latest GayMale weekly survey which plainly states that JonKatz has lost more market share, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. JonKatz is collapsing in complete disarray, as further exemplified by failing dead last [wsu.edu] in the recent Homosexual.com comprehensive ass-raping test.
You don't need to be a CmdrTaco [wsu.edu] to predict JonKatz's future. The hand writing is on the wall: JonKatz faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for JonKatz because JonKatz is dying. Things are looking very bad for JonKatz. As many of us are already aware, JonKatz continues to lose market share. Bloody sperm flows like a river of blood. JonKatz is the most endangered homosexual Slashdot author of them all.
Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
Slashdot leader CowboyNeal states that there are 7000 homosexual fantasies of JonKatz. How many ass rapings of JonKatz are there? Let's see. The number of homosexual fantasies involving JonKatz versus ass-rapings involving JonKatz posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 homosexual JonKatz fantasy users. Anal penetraion of JonKatz posts on Usenet are about half of the volume of JonKatz homosexual fantasy posts. Therefore there are about 700 users of anal penetration of JonKatz. A recent article put reacharounds involving JonKatz at about 80 percent of the homosexual fantasies involving JonKatz market. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 fantasies involving JonKatz. This is consistent with the number of ass-rapings of JonKatz posts.
Due to the troubles of the Anal Sludge Eating Corporation, abysmal sales and so on, homosexual fantasies involving JonKatz went out of style and was taken over by fantasies involving CmdrTaco who sells himself on the street corner. Now CmdrTaco's Ass-Sex Company is also dead, its corpse turned over to another charnel house.
All major surveys show that JonKatz fantasies have steadily declined in market share. JonKatz is very sick and his long term homosexuality prospects are very dim. If JonKatz's homosexuality is to survive at all it will be among homosexual hobbyist dabblers. JonKatz homosexuality continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, JonKatz's homosexual fantasy is dead.
JonKatz's homosexuality is dying
REDMOND, Wash. -- Oct. 18, 2001 -- Microsoft Corp. today announced revenue of $6.13 billion for the quarter ended Sept. 30, 2001, a 6 percent increase over the $5.77 billion reported in the prior year. Operating income totaled $2.90 billion compared to $2.78 billion in the prior year. Net income for the quarter was $1.28 billion including a $1.24 billion after-tax charge related to the impairment of certain publicly traded and private equity securities, predominantly in the cable and telecommunications industries. This charge is reflected in the $980 million investment loss reported this quarter. Diluted earnings per share for the September 2001 quarter were $0.23, including a $0.20 charge for net recognized investment losses which includes the impairment charge noted above. .NET Enterprise Server families, and our cost-control efforts," said John Connors, chief financial officer at Microsoft. "While we are looking forward to the upcoming launches of Windows XP, XboxTM and MSN® 7, we also recognize that this is a period of unprecedented global uncertainty that could have an impact on the economy and our business."
.NET Enterprise Server lineup," said Brian Valentine, senior vice president for the Windows division at Microsoft. "These results demonstrate our customers' enthusiasm for the quality, value and performance offered in our enterprise-ready products and solutions."
.NET Enterprise Server family of products also turned in an outstanding quarter with growth exceeding 30 percent, led by the continuing strength of SQL Server 2000 and Exchange 2000 Server. During the quarter, SQL Server 2000 was named Best Overall Database in this year's VARBusiness Annual Report Card and was deployed by customers such as Pennzoil, Nestlé and Marathon Oil. Exchange Server is the market-leading messaging and collaboration product and boasts over 94 million users. During the quarter, Microsoft also launched Content Management Server 2001, which enables companies to quickly and efficiently build, deploy and maintain highly dynamic Internet, intranet and extranet web sites.
"We reported solid revenue and operating results this quarter, fueled by strong customer demand for our Windows® 2000 and
The Windows 2000 Server family had a stellar quarter, with sales growth of over 20 percent. "We were especially thrilled to see strong customer demand for Windows 2000 Advanced Server, which sold twice as many units as it did the previous year. These products are a rock-solid foundation for the entire
The
Microsoft is set to deliver two highly anticipated products to customers during the coming quarter. On Oct. 25, Microsoft will launch Windows XP at events to be held in New York City and more than 60 other cities. Windows XP extends the personal computing experience by uniting PCs, devices and services, and brings the solid foundation of Windows 2000 to home PC users, enhancing reliability, security and performance.
On Nov. 15, Microsoft will launch Xbox, the future-generation video game system. The combination of Xbox's superior graphics performance and an extensive lineup of game titles from Microsoft and leading game-developers, such as Sega, Electronic Arts, THQ, Tecmo, Infogames, Activision, Konami and LucasArts, will deliver a revolutionary experience to gamers this holiday season.
Business Outlook
Management offers the following guidance for the quarter ending Dec. 31, 2001:
Revenue is expected to be in the range of $7.1 billion and $7.3 billion.
Operating income is expected to be in the range of $2.9 and $3.0 billion.
Diluted earnings per share is expected to be $0.49 or $0.50.
Management offers the following guidance for the full fiscal year ending June 30, 2002:
Revenue is expected to be in the range of $28.4 billion and $29.1 billion.
Operating income is expected to be in the range of $12.0 and $12.4 billion.
Diluted earnings per share is expected to be in the range of $1.61 to $1.66.
Webcast Details
Microsoft will hold an audio webcast at 2:30 p.m. PDT (5:30 p.m. EDT) today with John Connors to discuss additional details regarding the company's performance for the quarter and other forward-looking information. The session may be accessed at http://www.microsoft.com/msft/. The webcast will be available for replay through the close of business on Friday, Oct. 26, 2001.
Forward-Looking Statements
Statements in this release that are "forward-looking statements" are based on current expectations and assumptions that are subject to risks and uncertainties. Actual results could differ materially because of factors such as: entry into markets with vigorous competition, market acceptance of new products and services, adoption of new licensing programs, continued acceptance of existing products and services, delays in product development and related product release schedules, reliance on sole source suppliers, or shortages of key components for hardware products that delay product delivery, any of which may cause revenues and income to fall short of anticipated levels; the risk of obsolete inventory or product returns by distributors, resellers and retailers; the risk of warranty and other claims on hardware products; higher relative marketing expenses associated with new product releases; changes in the rate of PC shipments; technological shifts; customer demand for our product and services; the support of third party software developers for new or existing platforms; competitive products, services and pricing; changes in product and service mix; product life cycles; sale terms and conditions; the company's ability to efficiently integrate acquired businesses; implementation of cost structures that align with revenue growth; the financial condition of vendors, resellers and retailers; unavailability of insurance; or uninsured losses (including the effects of the terrorist attacks on the United States on Sept. 11, 2001); adverse results in litigation; the effects of terrorist activity and armed conflict such as disruptions in general economic activity and changes in our operations and security arrangements; general economic conditions that affect demand for computer hardware or software; currency fluctuations; and financial market volatility affecting the value of our investments that may result in a reduction in carrying value and recognition of losses.
For further information regarding risks and uncertainties associated with Microsoft's business, please refer to the "Management's Discussion and Analysis of Results of Operations and Financial Condition" and "Risk Factors" sections of Microsoft's SEC filings, including, but not limited to, its annual report on Form 10-K and quarterly reports on Form 10-Q, copies of which may be obtained by contacting Microsoft's investor relations department at 1-800-285-7772 or Microsoft's investor relations website at http://www.microsoft.com/msft.
All information in this release is as of Oct. 18, 2001. The company undertakes no duty to update any forward-looking statement to conform the statement to actual results or changes in the company's expectations.
Founded in 1975, Microsoft (Nasdaq "MSFT") is the worldwide leader in software, services and Internet technologies for personal and business computing. The company offers a wide range of products and services designed to empower people through great software -- any time, any place and on any device.
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Microsoft, Windows, Xbox and MSN are either registered trademarks or trademarks of Microsoft Corp. in the United States and/or other countries.
The names of actual companies and products mentioned herein may be the trademarks of their respective owners.
Note to editors: If you are interested in viewing additional information on Microsoft, please visit the Microsoft Web page at http://www.microsoft.com/presspass/ on Microsoft's corporate information pages. Shareholder and financial information as well as today's 2:30 p.m. PDT conference call with investors and analysts is available at http://www.microsoft.com/msft/.
Last updated October 18, 2001
© 2001 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved. Terms of Use.
suck my nut sack
Nice First Post!
Were it not for the time I am being forced to wait between postings, I would have had it.
For years now I've wondered if science could give us a better snack. Science has done much good for us in the snack department. I'm not saying it hasn't been a long bumpy road. Let's think about this for a bit. The pretzel is a good snack, but insufficient on its own. I've always found it a bit bland. Especially on an airplane where I want and deserve a nut.
But lets think about some other examples. The Granola bar had much potential. Especially it's chocolate covered variant, the Kudos bar. But at that point we've forsaken the health factor and you might as well just eath either a butterfinger or a nutrageous bar.
Then there are things that put "Fruit" in the name to fool your brain into thinking that they are healthy. This never fools your ass... it continues to just get fatter and fatter. Leading examples in this category is the Fruit Roll Up.
But today I discovered what may be the best snack ever. The Honey-Nut Chex Mix. Chex mix is great. It takes one of the only "Healthy" cereals that doesn't taste like crap, and mixes it up with the nuts that are now lacking in today's modern air craft. But I always wondered how to improve upon this design. Chocolate covering things is always a popular choice. Chocolate covered pretzels. Chocolate Covered Nuts. Chocolate Covered Chocolate. I mean, you can improve nearly anything by covering it in chocolate... at least so goes the theory. But I always foudn that overkill. Chocolate is like the one ton gorilla of candy. Sure it's powerful, but after you've let it ride you for a bit, you're just not gonna feel the same.
But honey nut chex mix solves the problem. The deception of being "Healthy" because it contains chex. The joy of a prezel. Little pseudo nut clusters... and it's all covered in "Honey Nut" (literally translated: some sticky coating and sugar). It's not quite as sticky as eating pure chocolate, so it even solves the messy problem of eating much sugar or chocolate covered snacks. And it tastes good too!
It's the perfect snack and it's all mine. Hands off biznatch.
Last Saturday a comment was posted here by an anonymous reader that contained text that was copyrighted by the Church of Scientology. They have since followed the DMCA and demanded that we remove the comment. While Slashdot is an open forum and we encourage free discussion and sharing of ideas, our lawyers have advised us that, considering all the details of this case, the comment should come down. Read on to understand what this means.
This is the first time since we instituted our moderation system that a comment has had to be removed because of its content, and believe me nobody is more broken hearted about it than me. It's a bad precedent, and a blow for the freedom of speech that we all share in this forum. But this simply doesn't look like a case we can win. Our lawyers tell us that it appears to be a violation of Copyright law, and under the terms of the DMCA, we must remove it. Else we risk legal action that would at best be expensive, and potentially cause Slashdot to go down temporarily or even permanently. At the worst, court orders could jeporadize your privacy, and we would be helpless to stop it.
We need to choose our battles and this isn't one we want to have. We want Slashdot to be a forum where you can say what's in your heart, but we simply can't defend an anonymous poster who violates copyright law. Keep that in mind when you post in both this discussion, and in others in the future. Post your ideas. Post your thoughts. And most of all, post your links. We need to play by the rules or it's game over.
Now there is the matter of this specific comment. It contained a text called "OT III", part of what is known as the Fishman Affidavit. This text is Copyrighted by the Church of Scientology. In compliance with the DMCA, we are removing it from Slashdot. In its place we are putting non-copyrighted text: Links to websites about the church of Scientology, as well as links to how you can contact your congressman about the DMCA. Thanks a lot to Jamie for putting this together.
First of all, we would like to point out that the text of OT III is available at many other places on the web. To many to list here in fact. Instead, try a Google search on "OT III" and "Fishman", which as of this writing (March 2001) returns over 250 pages. A broader search on AltaVista returns over 2,000 webpages.
Operating in the jurisdiction of the Dutch courts, Karin Spaink's Fishman Affidavit webpage has fended off two lawsuits from Scientology, one in 1996 and one in 1999. The latter suit, according to the page, is still being appealed. >From the link listed just above, you can click through to the Fishman Affidavit, which contains links to not only to an annotated copy of OT III, but to the documents on the other OT levels as well, number one through the disputed number eight.
If you would like a plain English explanation of OT III, see OT III Rewritten For Beginners, by Jon Atack. Its author is a former Scientologist who himself completed level OT III. The webpage contains nothing copyrighted by a Scientology organization. It is an explanation of what OT III says and what that means, along with commentary by the author. Jon Atack is also the author of A Piece of Blue Sky, which is a history of Scientology from before its founding to after L. Ron Hubbard's death. At the above link, you can either purchase it, or read it in its entirety online.
If you are interested in Scientology, you will want to visit Operation Clambake, at xenu.net. It seems to be the most important central resource for information on the organization.
You may also want to visit the Lisa McPherson Memorial Page, which claims that "Lisa died needlessly at the hands of Scientology." Her case is truly a tragic one and she deserves to be remembered. The site has a great deal of information on her death. Related is The Lisa McPherson Trust, which has not only information about Lisa, but a very large archive of interviews, court transcripts, news reports, testimonials, and videos about Scientology.
Here's a Slashdot story last year on eBay removing auctions for e-meters based on the Church of Scientology DMCA copyright allegations, which is odd because Copyright law doesn't cover a physical device.
If there's anything else about Scientology you want to know, you will want to see AltReligionScientology.org, which contains a huge list of links to all the sites I don't have room to list here.
The DMCA is actually five separate modifications to copyright law. Its Title I is known for providing legal protection for "technological measures" (typically encryption) which prevent copying; this is the part that empowered the MPAA to sue over DeCSS, to name the best-known example.
That's not the part that concerns us here; Title II is its other major modification of copyright law and that's what we're dealing with. Title II created 17 U.S.C. Section 512, and we're specifically looking at our liability under paragraphs (c)(1)(A), which says we have to act "expeditiously to remove or disable access to the [infringing] material." Here's the U.S. Copyright Office's 18-page summary of the DMCA as a whole. If 18 pages is too long for you, here's the American Library Association's much quicker summary
Here's a list of resources on the DMCA, including the DMCA itself in PDF format. The EFF page on the DCMA seems to relate mostly to Title I, the anti-encryption-circumvention portion, but it's too good not to mention anyway.
Don't know who your Congressperson or Senators are? That's OK, now's as good a time as any to learn. Finding your Senators is easy, just go to Senate.gov. To find your Representative, you just need your zip code. You can use the form on the website to write them if you're lazy, but if you want your message to have more impact, print it out and send it in a real envelope. Anything's better than nothing, though.
When you write, you'll want to write something they'll read. Here are the ACLU's tips for writing to your Congressperson or Senators.
NEW YORK -- Do the global terror links reach even as far as Sesame Street? Is Bert the Muppet a henchman of terrorist mastermind Usama bin Laden?
The answer is clearly no, but puzzled newspaper readers are still wondering how the Sesame Street icon ended up in a news service photograph of a pro-bin Laden protest in Bangladesh. The pictures showed demonstrators holding up a large poster in which bin Laden and Bert are standing next to each other.
The picture quickly began making the e-mail rounds Wednesday morning, astonishing people and provoking laughter from Los Angeles to Switzerland to South Korea.
The poster is a collage of pictures of bin Laden in white robes or in camouflage fatigues and sometimes lecturing with a microphone in his hand, all ringing a large portrait of the bearded Saudi exile. Along the bottom is printed "Usama." On the right side of the picture, just past the right shoulder of the large portrait, is irascible Bert, bosom buddy of Ernie.
The photographs do not appear to have been doctored. They were taken by news photographers covering at least two different demonstrations from different angles on at least two separate days.
The first known Bert-bin Laden posters appeared on Oct. 5 in the Bangladeshi capital, Dhaka, and photographs of them were printed by the Dutch news service Algemeen Nederlands Persbureau and the Associated Press and Reuters news services. At least one other photograph including the posters was taken at another location by Reuters photographer Rafiqur Rahman on Oct. 9.
Reuters spokeswoman Felicia Cosby said the photos were authentic.
Dino Ignacio
The original doctored image of Bert and Usama bin Laden.
"We've just noticed it ourselves, since you queried, that there is Bert on that poster," she said. "I don't know if they're mass-producing these posters, but what I can say is that it is definitely our policy not to doctor photographs."
Associated Press spokesman Jack Stokes said the AP photographs were also untouched.
"We haven't changed the photo at all," he said. "We have very strict editing guidelines."
The AP photographs were taken by Pavel Rahman. Stokes said he did not know if Rahman was another name for, or related to, Rafiqur Rahman.
Cosby said Rafiqur Rahman, a native Bangladeshi, did not know that he was photographing a Muppet when he covered a prayer demonstration for bin Laden's health Oct. 9.
"The photographer is as bemused as we are," she said. "He didn't know what that furry creature was."
Rahman is going to a local marketplace to hunt down more Bert-bin Laden posters Wednesday, Cosby said.
AP
Protesters in Dhaka, Bangladesh hold the infamous poster (emphasis added).
The creator of a parody Web site dedicated to "Evil Bert" said he had a theory about how an associate of Kermit the Frog, Big Bird and Snuffleupagus had been recruited into the Al Qaeda cause.
For several years, Dino Ignacio, 27, a San Francisco 3-D animator, had been maintaining a humor Web site that purported to "prove" that the bad-tempered, banana-shaped Jim Henson creation was connected to evil causes from Hitler and the JFK assassination to the stolen Pamela Anderson sex tapes and Kevin Costner movies. But he stopped maintaining the site when he lost interest in 1998.
A week after the World Trade Center and Pentagon attacks, someone e-mailed him an altered picture of bin Laden standing next to Bert wearing a trenchcoat and looking very angry. Ignacio didn't post the picture on his site out of respect for victims of the terror attack, but the picture began showing up on Bert fan sites and in other odd corners of the Internet.
"What I'm thinking is that [someone there] has access to the Internet, got this picture to pop up off of Alta Vista or Google and put together this collage," he said.
Of course, the other explanation might be that Bert has finally ditched Ernie, canceled his account at Mr. Hooper's shop and taken his Kalashnikov to the other side of the war.
Sesame Workshop issued a statement saying it was very unhappy with the sudden connection between a lovable character with a penchant for pigeons and bottlecaps and the most wanted man in the world.
"Sesame Street has always stood for mutual respect and understanding," a spokeswoman said. "We're outraged that our characters would be used in this unfortunate and distasteful manner. This is not at all humorous.The people responsible for this should be ashamed of themselves. We are exploring all legal options to stop this abuse and any similar abuses in the future."
When asked about Bert's current whereabouts, however, the spokeswoman replied: "No comment."
Regardless of the explanation, Ignacio said he doesn't find his "Evil Bert" idea very funny right now.
"It's weirding me out," he said. "It's like reality imitating the Web, but it's taking something that I did so much further. I don't want to get into this one because it's too real."
Apparently us.
And I'm DAMN PROUD TO BE A TROLL!!!
I agree, someone mod this one up!
Hey Taco, When is /. going to start posting some good stories. I know I should be getting accustom to stories that suck like the ones that have been being posted lately, but come on.
Also, could you letting Katz post stories. I don't remember the last one that he posted that had any intelligence what so ever.
P.S.
Linux sucks
YOU SUCK!!! Thanks, Troll
MEMORANDUM To: Senior Management Team From: Sales Department Re: Quarterly Report Executive Summary While Widget Inc.'s West and North Sales remained relatively steady, Eastern Sales dropped precipitously to normal levels in Q4 after last quarter's stellar growth due to inflationary pressures and increased demand. Year-Over-Year Performance was excellent in all regions. Overall growth in sales for all regions topped 32%. (East - 14%; West - 42%; North - 41%). Margins also increased Year-Over-Year as 13% of Sales fell to the bottom line (compared to 11% last year). The increase in margins was mainly due the operating efficiencies achieved through the consolidation of distribution centers. Last quarter, 13 distribution centers were consolidated into 3 regional "super-centers". The disposal of the 10 distribution centers resulted in $3 million in cash and a long-term gain on assets of $1.8 million. We are expecting sales next quarter to increase across the board as seasonality and increased demand due to competitive weakness act as key factors in top-line growth. In addition, increased advertising expenditures will have a positive effect. Overall, we are extremely happy with our results and confident that all future expectations with regard to top line growth will be met. Damn Delay
MEMORANDUM
To:
Senior Management Team
From:
Sales Department
Re:
Quarterly Report
Executive Summary
While Widget Inc.'s West and North Sales remained relatively steady, Eastern Sales dropped precipitously to normal levels in Q4 after last quarter's stellar growth due to inflationary pressures and increased demand. Year-Over-Year Performance was excellent in all regions. Overall growth in sales for all regions topped 32%. (East - 14%; West - 42%; North - 41%).
Margins also increased Year-Over-Year as 13% of Sales fell to the bottom line (compared to 11% last year). The increase in margins was mainly due the operating efficiencies achieved through the consolidation of distribution centers. Last quarter, 13 distribution centers were consolidated into 3 regional "super-centers". The disposal of the 10 distribution centers resulted in $3 million in cash and a long-term gain on assets of $1.8 million.
We are expecting sales next quarter to increase across the board as seasonality and increased demand due to competitive weakness act as key factors in top-line growth. In addition, increased advertising expenditures will have a positive effect. Overall, we are extremely happy with our results and confident that all future expectations with regard to top line growth will be met.
TrollTech Releases Qt 3.0 Posted by Hemos on Monday October 15, @07:09PM from the comin'-at-you dept. Dr. Sp0ng writes: "TrollTech released Qt 3.0 today. Among the new features are platform- and database-independent data-access features, data-aware GUI widgets, a much-updated Qt Designer, and much better internationalization and font handling features. It breaks binary compatibility but keeps almost complete source compatibility with Qt 2.x. The KDE team has already begun work on KDE 3.0, which will use the new toolkit."
If your gonna troll, be proud. Don't be an AC. I hate you
And you won't get it either. AC's aren't allowed FP's. Log in and be proud to be a troll.
First MF Post!!!