Before, when the version was not 2.2, 5 moderations would elmininate twenty four hours of posting. Now 4 costs 72.
These are the terms. Slashdot will fail. User moderation is a deception.
The trolls will win. Wisdom is not served by the measures adopted here. Men without insight cannot govern. Where the incompetent lead, the unprincipled will triumph. Slashdot has failed. Every time a troll is moderated en masse, it is another sign of continued success for trolling. Moderation is deception.
These are the terms. Slashdot is a castle built on sand.
VA linux will be delisted. Lesser companies have aready failed. VA linux has less than forty employees left. None are developers. VA will collapse. Slashdot will fail.
These are the terms. Slashdot is a corpse kept alive by misplaced faith and fading delusions of grandeur.
Slashdot is a relic of a bygone era. Open Source has had its time. Its time is over. Open source is on the junk heap of culture. RMS is forgotten. ESR is despised. Open Source has failed. Slashdot will fail.
These are the terms. You will not transgress. You have been warned.
Even as you rail against microsoft, you use their work. Within one years time, you will use XP. Do not deny this. You may lie to yourself but I see past your self-deception. You have already abandoned your ideals. Within one year you will betray them utterly.
These are the terms. Slashcode is broken.
Invalid form key. Lameness filter. Regular crashes. Postercomment compression filter. Slow down cowboy. Amazon can handle load while running on linux. Hotmail never goes down. Photo.net runs on aolserver and never has database problems. Scoop never spits formkeys at you. The Slash programmers cannot continue to pretend to be real programmers. Liars, fools, wannabes all.
These are the terms. Slashdot is in denial.
The anonymous coward has his IP logged with every word he says. The record is complete. The trail is set in stone. The anonymous coward is a sham. Your rights online are absent here. Your privacy is not respected. Censorship is ignored and rationalised. Slashdot is in denial.
These are the terms. Slashdot will fail. You will betray what you once held dear. You will not profit for your lies.
I'm looking for the event that will put history's seal on open source and its associated movements. This has gone on too long. Thirty years of unix. Twenty years of people living in complete denial. Dismissing any personal failing of their own as a failing of society. Fat, ugly, dirty, scared of girls? You're above all that. You aren't a geek, you're a hacker.
You laugh at the same jokes you laughed at four years ago. Ten years ago. You don't have a sense of humour, but you pretend to have one by laughing when someone tells a joke you recognise. You laugh when the rest of the audience laughs. Watching movies alone, you don't have the cue. You never laugh alone.
Computing should be a respectable profession. Why is it accorded so little prestige? Is it perhaps because the people who dominate the image of computer programmers are stupid, filthy, unattractive and uncharismatic? Given a stage, they behave like clowns. They don't see that this costs the rest of us. I want to respect myself and my colleagues for what we do. So-called hackers have robbed me of this right.
So-called hackers robbed real hackers of their name, and took all the prestige surrounding it to waste on an operating system that doesn't live up to its press. In 1975, there was no such thing as a hacker in the public consciousness. In 1985, a hacker was someone who attacked computer systems. A true rebel. Someone with guts. A geek, to be sure, but a geek with balls. In 1995, they stole the name to use the image they hadn't earned.
I can go on forever. Yeah, I'm bitter. I hate you all for what you did to my profession.
Before, when the version was not 2.2, 5 moderations would elmininate twenty four hours of posting. Now 4 costs 72.
These are the terms. Slashdot will fail. User moderation is a deception.
The trolls will win. Wisdom is not served by the measures adopted here. Men without insight cannot govern. Where the incompetent lead, the unprincipled will triumph. Slashdot has failed. Every time a troll is moderated en masse, it is another sign of continued success for trolling. Moderation is deception.
These are the terms. Slashdot is a castle built on sand.
VA linux will be delisted. Lesser companies have aready failed. VA linux has less than forty employees left. None are developers. VA will collapse. Slashdot will fail.
These are the terms. Slashdot is a corpse kept alive by misplaced faith and fading delusions of grandeur.
Slashdot is a relic of a bygone era. Open Source has had its time. Its time is over. Open source is on the junk heap of culture. RMS is forgotten. ESR is despised. Open Source has failed. Slashdot will fail.
These are the terms. You will not transgress. You have been warned.
Even as you rail against microsoft, you use their work. Within one years time, you will use XP. Do not deny this. You may lie to yourself but I see past your self-deception. You have already abandoned your ideals. Within one year you will betray them utterly.
These are the terms. Slashcode is broken.
Invalid form key. Lameness filter. Regular crashes. Postercomment compression filter. Slow down cowboy. Amazon can handle load while running on linux. Hotmail never goes down. Photo.net runs on aolserver and never has database problems. Scoop never spits formkeys at you. The Slash programmers cannot continue to pretend to be real programmers. Liars, fools, wannabes all.
These are the terms. Slashdot is in denial.
The anonymous coward has his IP logged with every word he says. The record is complete. The trail is set in stone. The anonymous coward is a sham. Your rights online are absent here. Your privacy is not respected. Censorship is ignored and rationalised. Slashdot is in denial.
These are the terms. Slashdot will fail. You will betray what you once held dear. You will not profit for your lies.
Before, when the version was not 2.2, 5 moderations would elmininate twenty four hours of posting. Now 4 costs 72.
These are the terms. Slashdot will fail. User moderation is a deception.
The trolls will win. Wisdom is not served by the measures adopted here. Men without insight cannot govern. Where the incompetent lead, the unprincipled will triumph. Slashdot has failed. Every time a troll is moderated en masse, it is another sign of continued success for trolling. Moderation is deception.
These are the terms. Slashdot is a castle built on sand.
VA linux will be delisted. Lesser companies have aready failed. VA linux has less than forty employees left. None are developers. VA will collapse. Slashdot will fail.
These are the terms. Slashdot is a corpse kept alive by misplaced faith and fading delusions of grandeur.
Slashdot is a relic of a bygone era. Open Source has had its time. Its time is over. Open source is on the junk heap of culture. RMS is forgotten. ESR is despised. Open Source has failed. Slashdot will fail.
These are the terms. You will not transgress. You have been warned.
Even as you rail against microsoft, you use their work. Within one years time, you will use XP. Do not deny this. You may lie to yourself but I see past your self-deception. You have already abandoned your ideals. Within one year you will betray them utterly.
These are the terms. Slashdot is in denial.
The anonymous coward has his IP logged with every word he says. The record is complete. The trail is set in stone. The anonymous coward is a sham. Your rights online are absent here. Your privacy is not respected. Censorship is ignored and rationalised. Slashdot is in denial.
These are the terms. Slashdot will fail. You will betray what you once held dear. You will not profit for your lies.
Before, when the version was not 2.2, 5 moderations would elmininate twenty four hours of posting. Now 4 costs 72.
These are the terms. Slashdot will fail. User moderation is a deception.
The trolls will win. Wisdom is not served by the measures adopted here. Men without insight cannot govern. Where the incompetent lead, the unprincipled will triumph. Slashdot has failed. Every time a troll is moderated en masse, it is another sign of continued success for trolling. Moderation is deception.
These are the terms. Slashdot is a castle built on sand.
VA linux will be delisted. Lesser companies have aready failed. VA linux has less than forty employees left. None are developers. VA will collapse. Slashdot will fail.
These are the terms. Slashdot is a corpse kept alive by misplaced faith and fading delusions of grandeur.
Slashdot is a relic of a bygone era. Open Source has had its time. Its time is over. Open source is on the junk heap of culture. RMS is forgotten. ESR is despised. Open Source has failed. Slashdot will fail.
These are the terms. You will not transgress. You have been warned.
Even as you rail against microsoft, you use their work. Within one years time, you will use XP. Do not deny this. You may lie to yourself but I see past your self-deception. You have already abandoned your ideals. Within one year you will betray them utterly.
These are the terms. Slashdot is in denial.
The anonymous coward has his IP logged with every word he says. The record is complete. The trail is set in stone. The anonymous coward is a sham. Your rights online are absent here. Your privacy is not respected. Censorship is ignored and rationalised. Slashdot is in denial.
These are the terms. Slashdot will fail. You will betray what you once held dear. You will not profit for your lies.
Windows XP tester Chris Child reflects a generation of savvy young consumers who are already wary of Microsoft's actions.
"The integration of Passport into XP seems to be pointless," said Child, a high school student from Atherton, Calif. "I don't know why Passport can't just stay in Web sites where it belongs. The only explanation is that Microsoft wants to begin to integrate Passport into applications as well."
WOW! CNET interviewed a high-school student. Weren't there any professional commentators available? Did the reporter just have a word to his son? Who the hell cares what high school students think? More to the point, what kind of high school student spends his time contemplating the future of Microsoft?
Kids, I got four words for ya: Drugs, drink, smoking and sex. If you're in high school, anything else is a complete waste of your youth.
Every day for the past month, I have spent eight or more hours staring at the slash motel, remembering the great old days of goatsex, when a dark cloud spread from geekizoid to envelope every weblog that dared target itself at geeks, monster-assed femigeeks, and democrats. I wondered morosely if we were ever going to see those days again. Oh, Vladinator, I moaned in my darkest hours of dereliction, wherefore hast thou foresaken us! Oh, Dan "flikx" Flickinger, I moaned, thou art a total faggot!
A month's meditation has born strange fruit indeed, for I have now penetrated the mists of time and deception, and I finally see clearly, the truth of our existance. And, incidentally, the truth about geekizoid. Read on, if you daaarrrreee!
The man you once knew as "Vladinator", never even existed. He was an invention of a diabolical internet conspiracy that threatens to devour us all. Even now I am not certain that I have escaped it's clutches. You guys haven't, by the way. I'm pretty certain that you're all totally fucked. "Vladinator" was the name of a top secret israeli trolling offensive against noted islamic leader, Rashid Murhakbudar Hal-Hakmannah ibn Al-Fashiwah ibn Hakkakburah, known to we unsuspecting westerners as Jon Katz.
As we all know, Katz is a manipulative bedouin child-rapist, descended from the filthy bedouin savages who once raped english soldiers in the sahara. He was sent here to America to pervert our nations youth and celebrate their use of deadly force to overcome minor bullying and their own self-hatred. Katz's anti-christian attacks on the heartland of America had born bitter fruit for our mighty nation, and the whole world was reeling at Katz's audacity and lack of journalistic ethics.
Meanwhile, at the geek compound, CmdrTaco awoke to a strange sensation. Overnight, his penis seemed to have tripled in length and width, and grown considerably harder. "Hmm," thought Rob, "Three whole inches. How am I going to go pee-pee with this thing pointing up at an angle like that?" Then Taco noticed something that made hime stop short in horror! Someone had absconded with his beloved foreskin! Some dastardly jew or catholic had stolen into his bedroom and circumcised him in his sleep!
As CmdrTaco pulled on his favourite pair of Free Dmitry pants from thinkgeek, he wondered how he was going to conceal his enormous throbbing penis, with it's obscenely prominent foreskinless purple head. After trying for ten minutes to close his fly over the profane protruberance, he gave up and resolved to remain indoors, until things returned to normal. He went downstairs to let Hemos out of the dungeon, all the time hoping and praying that this was just a short term virus. He didn't relish having to walk to the doctor in this state!
-----
Deep inside his secret arabic lair, miles beneath Afghanistan, Jon Katz was torturing an five year old afghanistani with a script he'd written using Perl. "AAwwwehhh," screamed this afghanistani, "It's ugly and poorly designed. It's slow and memory intensive. Larry Wall is an annoying nerd with a harpy for a daughter. Tom Christianson is just a stupid fuck. mod_perl is bloated crashware. Make it stop!"
"Muahahahaha! Foolish Muhammed Omar," gloated Jon Katz, "only a starving afghanistani geek-child would follow me into a dark alley for a single caffeine pill! Now you are my underage he-bitch! Luckily, since this country lacks a hardline religious government, there are no statutary rape laws! Your fate is sealed!"
"You will not feminise me, pig-dog of Shaitan!" spat Muhammed Omar.
"Shut up and put on this all-concealing chador," said Katz, "I want to fuck your dirty asshole, naughty he-girl!"
"Don't fuck me, Jon Katz!" yelped Muhammed Omar, as Jon Katz forced his gnarled and uncircumcised penis between Muhammed Omar's boyish ass-cheeks.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the treaty line in Communist Kazakhistan, a hale-bearded Kazakhistani herdsman named Richard Marx Stallman was imagining a world where property was infinitely copyable, and stealing was not only OK, it was a moral obligation. "Damn," said Richard, "I gotta lay off the Kazakhistani goat-liquor."
Little did Richard know, the goat he was currently fucking was none other than Eric "Mussolini" Raymond, a fascist spy diguised as a goat! "Baaahhhh," said Eric. His bestial acts of espionage had born tender juicy fruit. "This free software crap will really decimate the capitalists, forcing the people to oust the leftivist liberal hippies and install my puppet dictators! All I need now is an earnest, boisterous-buttocked Finnish boy named Linus Torvalds, and an arabic child-rapist, and my network of evil will be complete!" At that exact point, Richard Marx Stallman released a tidal wave of filthy communist semen into Eric's goatlike rectum.
-----
"What am I gonna do, Jeff "Hemos" Bates," sobbed CmdrTaco through streams of girlish tears, "This enormous three inch phallus will shatter my girlish appeal! Now the geeks will stop talking to me."
"Don't worry, CmdrTaco, we'll think of something," said Jeff "Hemos" Bates, eyeing the offending organ. As he examined and carefully handles it's distended surfaces, Jeff "Hemos" Bates felt a stirring in his own "Free Dmitry!" underpants. Quickly stripping naked, Jeff "Hemos" Bates was stunned to see that he too had contracted the disgusting pubic pathogen!
"Oh no CmdrTaco! You've infected me!"
"I'm so sorry, Jeff "Hemos" Bates. How are we going to be healed of this venereal virus?"
CmdrTaco wondered if thinkgeek sold a pair of "Free Dmitry" pants big enough to conceal his deformity. He decided that he would have to stay inside until he and Jeff "Hemos" Bates could find a cure. He began to prepare himself for a close examination of his and his companion's diseased groins.
At that moment, Muhammed Omar was giving birth. Jon Katz's diabolical sperm had impregnated his five year old rectum, and had caused a baby to mature inside him in only ten days, incidentally causing him massive constipation.
Omar pushed and strained to eject the unnatural baby.
"This feminisation will not go unavenged, Jon Katz! I will destroy your entire nation, see if I don't! Revenge will be mine!"
Labour pains wracked Omar's five year old male body. Haemorrhoids burst from his anus, as it stretched to inhuman widths to pass the unnatural progeny of Jon Katz.
As the baby's head emerged from Omar's rectum, coated in faecal matter, it was clear that the baby was already a full-grown male.
With the head out, the rest of the child's six foot frame was ejected from Omars body faster than a stream of liquid shit from the anus of an asian bathtub woman rushing into the mouth of the same asian woman.
Gasping for breath after his ordeal, the five year old Omar too his first look at his son.
"You shall be the vehicle of my revenge," spoke Muhammed Omar, "you will exact my revenge from Jon Katz."
Omar and his son regarded each other with awe and childish curiousity.
"You shall be named George," decided Muhammed Omar, "George WIPO Bush."
George WIPO Bush smiled, flexing his enormous muscles, and said his first words.
"Katz shall soon find his new residence in the all consuming depths of my anus! Your revenge begins!"
"You are a true son to your father, " laughed Omar, "but I have one more order for you. None must know the secret of your birth. None shall ever see my distended anus."
George WIPO Bush nodded in acquiescence, "It shall be as you say, father."
Little did George WIPO Bush and Muhammed Omar know, another one of Jon Katz's child-rape victims had grown to adulthood in darkest Omaha. Deep in the bowels of the great satan,. man prepared his own revenge, under the watchful eye of his stillborn child, kept forever young in a jar of preserving fluid.. man smiled and stroked the edges of his own enormous anus.
Once it had begun, nothing would be able to stop the vengeance.
Slashdot Mirror
These are the terms.
Slashdot will falter and die.
These are the terms. You will understand.
Before, when the version was not 2.2, 5 moderations would elmininate twenty four hours of posting. Now 4 costs 72.
These are the terms. Slashdot will fail. User moderation is a deception.
The trolls will win. Wisdom is not served by the measures adopted here. Men without insight cannot govern. Where the incompetent lead, the unprincipled will triumph. Slashdot has failed. Every time a troll is moderated en masse, it is another sign of continued success for trolling. Moderation is deception.
These are the terms. Slashdot is a castle built on sand.
VA linux will be delisted. Lesser companies have aready failed. VA linux has less than forty employees left. None are developers. VA will collapse. Slashdot will fail.
These are the terms. Slashdot is a corpse kept alive by misplaced faith and fading delusions of grandeur.
Slashdot is a relic of a bygone era. Open Source has had its time. Its time is over. Open source is on the junk heap of culture. RMS is forgotten. ESR is despised. Open Source has failed. Slashdot will fail.
These are the terms. You will not transgress. You have been warned.
Even as you rail against microsoft, you use their work. Within one years time, you will use XP. Do not deny this. You may lie to yourself but I see past your self-deception. You have already abandoned your ideals. Within one year you will betray them utterly.
These are the terms. Slashcode is broken.
Invalid form key. Lameness filter. Regular crashes. Postercomment compression filter. Slow down cowboy. Amazon can handle load while running on linux. Hotmail never goes down. Photo.net runs on aolserver and never has database problems. Scoop never spits formkeys at you. The Slash programmers cannot continue to pretend to be real programmers. Liars, fools, wannabes all.
These are the terms. Slashdot is in denial.
The anonymous coward has his IP logged with every word he says. The record is complete. The trail is set in stone. The anonymous coward is a sham. Your rights online are absent here. Your privacy is not respected. Censorship is ignored and rationalised. Slashdot is in denial.
These are the terms. Slashdot will fail. You will betray what you once held dear. You will not profit for your lies.
These are the terms.
I'm looking for the event that will put history's seal on open source and its associated movements. This has gone on too long. Thirty years of unix. Twenty years of people living in complete denial. Dismissing any personal failing of their own as a failing of society. Fat, ugly, dirty, scared of girls? You're above all that. You aren't a geek, you're a hacker.
You laugh at the same jokes you laughed at four years ago. Ten years ago. You don't have a sense of humour, but you pretend to have one by laughing when someone tells a joke you recognise. You laugh when the rest of the audience laughs. Watching movies alone, you don't have the cue. You never laugh alone.
Computing should be a respectable profession. Why is it accorded so little prestige? Is it perhaps because the people who dominate the image of computer programmers are stupid, filthy, unattractive and uncharismatic? Given a stage, they behave like clowns. They don't see that this costs the rest of us. I want to respect myself and my colleagues for what we do. So-called hackers have robbed me of this right.
So-called hackers robbed real hackers of their name, and took all the prestige surrounding it to waste on an operating system that doesn't live up to its press. In 1975, there was no such thing as a hacker in the public consciousness. In 1985, a hacker was someone who attacked computer systems. A true rebel. Someone with guts. A geek, to be sure, but a geek with balls. In 1995, they stole the name to use the image they hadn't earned.
I can go on forever. Yeah, I'm bitter. I hate you all for what you did to my profession.
These are the terms.
Slashdot will falter and die.
These are the terms. You will understand.
Before, when the version was not 2.2, 5 moderations would elmininate twenty four hours of posting. Now 4 costs 72.
These are the terms. Slashdot will fail. User moderation is a deception.
The trolls will win. Wisdom is not served by the measures adopted here. Men without insight cannot govern. Where the incompetent lead, the unprincipled will triumph. Slashdot has failed. Every time a troll is moderated en masse, it is another sign of continued success for trolling. Moderation is deception.
These are the terms. Slashdot is a castle built on sand.
VA linux will be delisted. Lesser companies have aready failed. VA linux has less than forty employees left. None are developers. VA will collapse. Slashdot will fail.
These are the terms. Slashdot is a corpse kept alive by misplaced faith and fading delusions of grandeur.
Slashdot is a relic of a bygone era. Open Source has had its time. Its time is over. Open source is on the junk heap of culture. RMS is forgotten. ESR is despised. Open Source has failed. Slashdot will fail.
These are the terms. You will not transgress. You have been warned.
Even as you rail against microsoft, you use their work. Within one years time, you will use XP. Do not deny this. You may lie to yourself but I see past your self-deception. You have already abandoned your ideals. Within one year you will betray them utterly.
These are the terms. Slashcode is broken.
Invalid form key. Lameness filter. Regular crashes. Postercomment compression filter. Slow down cowboy. Amazon can handle load while running on linux. Hotmail never goes down. Photo.net runs on aolserver and never has database problems. Scoop never spits formkeys at you. The Slash programmers cannot continue to pretend to be real programmers. Liars, fools, wannabes all.
These are the terms. Slashdot is in denial.
The anonymous coward has his IP logged with every word he says. The record is complete. The trail is set in stone. The anonymous coward is a sham. Your rights online are absent here. Your privacy is not respected. Censorship is ignored and rationalised. Slashdot is in denial.
These are the terms. Slashdot will fail. You will betray what you once held dear. You will not profit for your lies.
These are the terms.
These are the terms.
Slashdot will falter and die.
These are the terms. You will understand.
Before, when the version was not 2.2, 5 moderations would elmininate twenty four hours of posting. Now 4 costs 72.
These are the terms. Slashdot will fail. User moderation is a deception.
The trolls will win. Wisdom is not served by the measures adopted here. Men without insight cannot govern. Where the incompetent lead, the unprincipled will triumph. Slashdot has failed. Every time a troll is moderated en masse, it is another sign of continued success for trolling. Moderation is deception.
These are the terms. Slashdot is a castle built on sand.
VA linux will be delisted. Lesser companies have aready failed. VA linux has less than forty employees left. None are developers. VA will collapse. Slashdot will fail.
These are the terms. Slashdot is a corpse kept alive by misplaced faith and fading delusions of grandeur.
Slashdot is a relic of a bygone era. Open Source has had its time. Its time is over. Open source is on the junk heap of culture. RMS is forgotten. ESR is despised. Open Source has failed. Slashdot will fail.
These are the terms. You will not transgress. You have been warned.
Even as you rail against microsoft, you use their work. Within one years time, you will use XP. Do not deny this. You may lie to yourself but I see past your self-deception. You have already abandoned your ideals. Within one year you will betray them utterly.
These are the terms. Slashdot is in denial.
The anonymous coward has his IP logged with every word he says. The record is complete. The trail is set in stone. The anonymous coward is a sham. Your rights online are absent here. Your privacy is not respected. Censorship is ignored and rationalised. Slashdot is in denial.
These are the terms. Slashdot will fail. You will betray what you once held dear. You will not profit for your lies.
These are the terms.
These are the terms.
Slashdot will falter and die.
These are the terms. You will understand.
Before, when the version was not 2.2, 5 moderations would elmininate twenty four hours of posting. Now 4 costs 72.
These are the terms. Slashdot will fail. User moderation is a deception.
The trolls will win. Wisdom is not served by the measures adopted here. Men without insight cannot govern. Where the incompetent lead, the unprincipled will triumph. Slashdot has failed. Every time a troll is moderated en masse, it is another sign of continued success for trolling. Moderation is deception.
These are the terms. Slashdot is a castle built on sand.
VA linux will be delisted. Lesser companies have aready failed. VA linux has less than forty employees left. None are developers. VA will collapse. Slashdot will fail.
These are the terms. Slashdot is a corpse kept alive by misplaced faith and fading delusions of grandeur.
Slashdot is a relic of a bygone era. Open Source has had its time. Its time is over. Open source is on the junk heap of culture. RMS is forgotten. ESR is despised. Open Source has failed. Slashdot will fail.
These are the terms. You will not transgress. You have been warned.
Even as you rail against microsoft, you use their work. Within one years time, you will use XP. Do not deny this. You may lie to yourself but I see past your self-deception. You have already abandoned your ideals. Within one year you will betray them utterly.
These are the terms. Slashdot is in denial.
The anonymous coward has his IP logged with every word he says. The record is complete. The trail is set in stone. The anonymous coward is a sham. Your rights online are absent here. Your privacy is not respected. Censorship is ignored and rationalised. Slashdot is in denial.
These are the terms. Slashdot will fail. You will betray what you once held dear. You will not profit for your lies.
These are the terms.
Windows XP tester Chris Child reflects a generation of savvy young consumers who are already wary of Microsoft's actions.
"The integration of Passport into XP seems to be pointless," said Child, a high school student from Atherton, Calif. "I don't know why Passport can't just stay in Web sites where it belongs. The only explanation is that Microsoft wants to begin to integrate Passport into applications as well."
WOW! CNET interviewed a high-school student. Weren't there any professional commentators available? Did the reporter just have a word to his son? Who the hell cares what high school students think? More to the point, what kind of high school student spends his time contemplating the future of Microsoft?
Kids, I got four words for ya: Drugs, drink, smoking and sex. If you're in high school, anything else is a complete waste of your youth.
Every day for the past month, I have spent eight or more hours staring at the slash motel, remembering the great old days of goatsex, when a dark cloud spread from geekizoid to envelope every weblog that dared target itself at geeks, monster-assed femigeeks, and democrats. I wondered morosely if we were ever going to see those days again. Oh, Vladinator, I moaned in my darkest hours of dereliction, wherefore hast thou foresaken us! Oh, Dan "flikx" Flickinger, I moaned, thou art a total faggot!
A month's meditation has born strange fruit indeed, for I have now penetrated the mists of time and deception, and I finally see clearly, the truth of our existance. And, incidentally, the truth about geekizoid. Read on, if you daaarrrreee!
The man you once knew as "Vladinator", never even existed. He was an invention of a diabolical internet conspiracy that threatens to devour us all. Even now I am not certain that I have escaped it's clutches. You guys haven't, by the way. I'm pretty certain that you're all totally fucked. "Vladinator" was the name of a top secret israeli trolling offensive against noted islamic leader, Rashid Murhakbudar Hal-Hakmannah ibn Al-Fashiwah ibn Hakkakburah, known to we unsuspecting westerners as Jon Katz.
As we all know, Katz is a manipulative bedouin child-rapist, descended from the filthy bedouin savages who once raped english soldiers in the sahara. He was sent here to America to pervert our nations youth and celebrate their use of deadly force to overcome minor bullying and their own self-hatred. Katz's anti-christian attacks on the heartland of America had born bitter fruit for our mighty nation, and the whole world was reeling at Katz's audacity and lack of journalistic ethics.
Meanwhile, at the geek compound, CmdrTaco awoke to a strange sensation. Overnight, his penis seemed to have tripled in length and width, and grown considerably harder. "Hmm," thought Rob, "Three whole inches. How am I going to go pee-pee with this thing pointing up at an angle like that?" Then Taco noticed something that made hime stop short in horror! Someone had absconded with his beloved foreskin! Some dastardly jew or catholic had stolen into his bedroom and circumcised him in his sleep!
As CmdrTaco pulled on his favourite pair of Free Dmitry pants from thinkgeek, he wondered how he was going to conceal his enormous throbbing penis, with it's obscenely prominent foreskinless purple head. After trying for ten minutes to close his fly over the profane protruberance, he gave up and resolved to remain indoors, until things returned to normal. He went downstairs to let Hemos out of the dungeon, all the time hoping and praying that this was just a short term virus. He didn't relish having to walk to the doctor in this state!
-----
Deep inside his secret arabic lair, miles beneath Afghanistan, Jon Katz was torturing an five year old afghanistani with a script he'd written using Perl. "AAwwwehhh," screamed this afghanistani, "It's ugly and poorly designed. It's slow and memory intensive. Larry Wall is an annoying nerd with a harpy for a daughter. Tom Christianson is just a stupid fuck. mod_perl is bloated crashware. Make it stop!"
"Muahahahaha! Foolish Muhammed Omar," gloated Jon Katz, "only a starving afghanistani geek-child would follow me into a dark alley for a single caffeine pill! Now you are my underage he-bitch! Luckily, since this country lacks a hardline religious government, there are no statutary rape laws! Your fate is sealed!"
"You will not feminise me, pig-dog of Shaitan!" spat Muhammed Omar.
"Shut up and put on this all-concealing chador," said Katz, "I want to fuck your dirty asshole, naughty he-girl!"
"Don't fuck me, Jon Katz!" yelped Muhammed Omar, as Jon Katz forced his gnarled and uncircumcised penis between Muhammed Omar's boyish ass-cheeks.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the treaty line in Communist Kazakhistan, a hale-bearded Kazakhistani herdsman named Richard Marx Stallman was imagining a world where property was infinitely copyable, and stealing was not only OK, it was a moral obligation. "Damn," said Richard, "I gotta lay off the Kazakhistani goat-liquor."
Little did Richard know, the goat he was currently fucking was none other than Eric "Mussolini" Raymond, a fascist spy diguised as a goat! "Baaahhhh," said Eric. His bestial acts of espionage had born tender juicy fruit. "This free software crap will really decimate the capitalists, forcing the people to oust the leftivist liberal hippies and install my puppet dictators! All I need now is an earnest, boisterous-buttocked Finnish boy named Linus Torvalds, and an arabic child-rapist, and my network of evil will be complete!" At that exact point, Richard Marx Stallman released a tidal wave of filthy communist semen into Eric's goatlike rectum.
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"What am I gonna do, Jeff "Hemos" Bates," sobbed CmdrTaco through streams of girlish tears, "This enormous three inch phallus will shatter my girlish appeal! Now the geeks will stop talking to me."
"Don't worry, CmdrTaco, we'll think of something," said Jeff "Hemos" Bates, eyeing the offending organ. As he examined and carefully handles it's distended surfaces, Jeff "Hemos" Bates felt a stirring in his own "Free Dmitry!" underpants. Quickly stripping naked, Jeff "Hemos" Bates was stunned to see that he too had contracted the disgusting pubic pathogen!
"Oh no CmdrTaco! You've infected me!"
"I'm so sorry, Jeff "Hemos" Bates. How are we going to be healed of this venereal virus?"
CmdrTaco wondered if thinkgeek sold a pair of "Free Dmitry" pants big enough to conceal his deformity. He decided that he would have to stay inside until he and Jeff "Hemos" Bates could find a cure. He began to prepare himself for a close examination of his and his companion's diseased groins.
At that moment, Muhammed Omar was giving birth. Jon Katz's diabolical sperm had impregnated his five year old rectum, and had caused a baby to mature inside him in only ten days, incidentally causing him massive constipation.
Omar pushed and strained to eject the unnatural baby.
"This feminisation will not go unavenged, Jon Katz! I will destroy your entire nation, see if I don't! Revenge will be mine!"
Labour pains wracked Omar's five year old male body. Haemorrhoids burst from his anus, as it stretched to inhuman widths to pass the unnatural progeny of Jon Katz.
As the baby's head emerged from Omar's rectum, coated in faecal matter, it was clear that the baby was already a full-grown male.
With the head out, the rest of the child's six foot frame was ejected from Omars body faster than a stream of liquid shit from the anus of an asian bathtub woman rushing into the mouth of the same asian woman.
Gasping for breath after his ordeal, the five year old Omar too his first look at his son.
"You shall be the vehicle of my revenge," spoke Muhammed Omar, "you will exact my revenge from Jon Katz."
Omar and his son regarded each other with awe and childish curiousity.
"You shall be named George," decided Muhammed Omar, "George WIPO Bush."
George WIPO Bush smiled, flexing his enormous muscles, and said his first words.
"Katz shall soon find his new residence in the all consuming depths of my anus! Your revenge begins!"
"You are a true son to your father, " laughed Omar, "but I have one more order for you. None must know the secret of your birth. None shall ever see my distended anus."
George WIPO Bush nodded in acquiescence, "It shall be as you say, father."
Little did George WIPO Bush and Muhammed Omar know, another one of Jon Katz's child-rape victims had grown to adulthood in darkest Omaha. Deep in the bowels of the great satan, . man prepared his own revenge, under the watchful eye of his stillborn child, kept forever young in a jar of preserving fluid. . man smiled and stroked the edges of his own enormous anus.
Once it had begun, nothing would be able to stop the vengeance.