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User: The+Turd+Report

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  1. Re:HUZZAH HUZZAH HUZZAH!!!! on Hacking Cassini To Detect Gravity Waves · · Score: -1

    Wow...disturbing... But, I like it.

  2. No anal rape or forced feltching?! on Hacking Cassini To Detect Gravity Waves · · Score: -1

    lame...

  3. Re:HUZZAH HUZZAH HUZZAH!!!! on Hacking Cassini To Detect Gravity Waves · · Score: -1

    Are there any sporks who still post here? Can we get a show of hands?

  4. Re:HACK CASSINI TO DETECT THIS! on Hacking Cassini To Detect Gravity Waves · · Score: -1

    Awesome.....

  5. Re:A dangerous game on Hacking Cassini To Detect Gravity Waves · · Score: -1

    Well, when they are dead, they will be left alone.

  6. I declare this article as part of the Troll Empire on Hacking Cassini To Detect Gravity Waves · · Score: -1

    27 of 41 posts are at '0' or '-1'. I claim this article for the Troll Empire!

  7. Re:Fucking elves on Hacking Cassini To Detect Gravity Waves · · Score: -1

    Depens on rather or not the Slashdot staff get to it before you do. Taco and his henchfags can's stand to see anything not covered in or filled with jizz.

  8. Re:Christmas on Hacking Cassini To Detect Gravity Waves · · Score: -1

    Considering CowboiNeals love of fecal matter, those brown chunks could have come from any opening in his body.

  9. Re:This is gay. on Hacking Cassini To Detect Gravity Waves · · Score: -1

    I thought that SOHO was the gayest. Anyway, I thought GayProbe was the pet name Taco gave his pee-pee.

  10. Re:Fucking elves on Hacking Cassini To Detect Gravity Waves · · Score: -1

    Santa's going to be jealous. He only comes once a year and now you have ruined it for him. Expect to get coal next year.

  11. A dangerous game on Hacking Cassini To Detect Gravity Waves · · Score: -1

    During Christmas vacation of 1974, my father flew us all to Disney
    World by route of Tampa, Florida. Ignorant of geography, it did not
    occur to me that Tampa was out of the way to Disney World until my
    father drove the rented van to the gates of MacDill Air Force Base.
    Military personnel met me there and escorted me into the base TOP
    SECRET high tech mind control conditioning facility for "behavioral
    modification" programming. This was the first in what became a
    routine series of mind control testing and/or programming sessions
    on government installations that I would endure throughout my
    Project Monarch victimization.

    Whether I was in a military, NASA, or government building, the
    procedure for maintaining me under total mind control remained
    consistent with Project Monarch requirements. This included prior
    physical and/or psychological trauma; sleep, food, and water
    deprivation; high voltage electric shock; and hypnotic and/or
    harmonic programming of specific memory compartments/ personalities.
    The high tech equipment and methodisms I endured from that time on
    gave the U.S. government absolute control of my mind and life. I had
    been literally driven out of my conscious mind and existed only
    through my programmed subconscious. I lost my free will, ability to
    reason, and could not think to question anything that was happening
    to me. I could only do as I was told.

    In the summer of 1975, my family drove all the way from Michigan to
    the Teton Mountains of Wyoming. I was ordered to ride in the back
    storage area of the family Chevy Suburban since I was forbidden to
    associate or communicate with my brothers and sister. So I dissociated
    into books, or into the metaphorical, hypnotic suggestions from my
    father and tranced deeper as I watched the prairie's seemingly endless
    sea of "amber waves of grain" streak past my window. Once when we
    stopped at a gas station, my father took me inside to show me a
    stuffed "jackalope" mounted on the wall. Due to my tranced, dissociative
    state and high suggestibility level, I believed it was indeed a cross
    between a jack rabbit and antelope. It was 100+ degrees in the Badlands
    when it cooled down at night. The intense heat of the day accentuated
    my ever increasing thirst. My father was physically preparing me though
    water deprivation for the intense tortures and programming I would endure
    in Wyoming.

    Dick Cheney, then White House Chief of Staff to President Ford, later
    Secretary of Defense to President George Bush, documented member of the
    Council on Foreign relations (CFR), and Presidential hopeful for 1996,
    was originally Wyoming's only Congressman. Dick Cheney was the reason my
    family had traveled to Wyoming where I endured yet another form of
    brutality -- his version of "A Most Dangerous Game," or human hunting.

    It is my understanding now that A Most Dangerous Game was devised to
    condition military personnel in survival and combat maneuvers. Yet it was
    used on me and other slaves known to me as a means of further conditioning
    the mind to the realization there was "no place to hide," as well as
    traumatize the victim for ensuing programming. It was my experience over
    the years that A Most Dangerous Game had numerous variations on the
    primary theme of being stripped naked and turned loose in the wilderness
    while being hunted by men and dogs. In reality, all "wilderness" areas
    were enclosed in secure military fencing whereby it was only a matter of
    time until I was caught, repeatedly raped, and tortured.

    Dick Cheney had an apparent addiction to the "thrill of the sport." He
    appeared obsessed with playing A Most Dangerous Game as a means of
    traumatizing mind control victims, as well as to satisfy his own perverse
    sexual kinks. My introduction to the game occurred upon arrival at the
    hunting lodge near Greybull, Wyoming, and it physically and psychologically
    devastated me. I was sufficiently traumatized for Cheney's programming, as
    I stood naked in his hunting lodge office after being hunted down and
    caught. Cheney was talking as he paced around me, "I could stuff you and
    mount you like a jackalope and call you a two legged dear. Or I could
    stuff you with this (he unzipped his pants to reveal his oversized penis)
    right down your throat, and then mount you. Which do you prefer?"

    Blood and sweat became mixed with the dirt on my body and slid like mud
    down my legs and shoulder. I throbbed with exhaustion and pain as I stood
    unable to think to answer such a question. "Make up your mind," Cheney
    coaxed. Unable to speak, I remained silent. "You don't get a choice,
    anyway. I make up your mind for you. That's why you're here. For me to
    make you a mind, and make you mine/mind. You lost your mind a long time
    ago. Now I'm going to give you one. Just like the Wizard (of Oz) gave
    Scarecrow a brain, the Yellow Brick Road led you here to me. You've 'come
    such a long, long way' for your brain, and I will give you one."

    The blood reached my shoes and caught my attention. Had I been further
    along in my programming, I perhaps would never have noticed such a thing
    or had the capability to think to wipe it away. But so far, I had only
    been to MacDill and Disney World for government/military programming.
    At last, when I could speak, I begged, "If you don't mind, can I please
    use your bathroom?"

    Cheney's face turned red with rage. He was on me in an instant, slamming
    my back into the wall with one arm across my chest and his hand on my
    throat, choking me while applying pressure to the cartorid artery in my
    neck with his thumb. His eyes bulged and he spit as he growled, "If you
    don't mind me, I will kill you. I could kill you -- Kill you -- with my
    bare hands. You're not the first and you won't be the last. I'll kill
    you any time I goddamn well please." He flung me on the cot-type bed that
    as behind me. There he finished taking his rage out on me sexually.

    On the long trip back to Michigan, I lay in a heap behind the seats of
    the Suburban, nauseated and hurting from Cheney's brutality and high
    voltage tortures, plus the whole Wyoming experience. My father stopped
    by the waterfalls flowing through the Tetons to "wash my brain" of the
    memory of Cheney. I could barely walk through the woods to the falls for
    the process as instructed, despite having learned my lessons well from
    Cheney on following orders.

    The next year when our "annual" trip to Disney World rolled around, my
    father drove, pulling his new Holiday Rambler Royale International trailer.
    My father dropped me off en route at the Kennedy Space Center in Titusville,
    Florida where I was subjected to my first NASA programming. From then on, I
    was "obsessed" with following the "Yellow Brick Road" to Nashville,
    Tennessee. Moving to Nashville was all I could talk about. If anyone asked
    me the question I could not think to ask myself "Why?", I would respond by
    reiterating it was something "I had to do."

  12. Re:Christmas on Hacking Cassini To Detect Gravity Waves · · Score: -1

    No shit. All I got was two pair of socks, a pair of gloves, and a tickle-me-Elmo! Fucking gay.

  13. Re:The Turd Report 12/26/2001 on No More Sweaty Mouse Hands · · Score: -1
    I do not have a web site as of yet. I might put one up someday, if I ever have the time. If you would want to put one up, feel free to do so. Email me if you need any info or stuff like that. Take care.

  14. Re:The Turd Report 12/26/2001 on No More Sweaty Mouse Hands · · Score: -1
    Thanks! I am alwasy glad to hear from a fan.

  15. Re:The Turd Report 12/26/2001 on No More Sweaty Mouse Hands · · Score: -1
    Traveling always binds me up for a day. Changes in foods may also cause problems. When I travel from Virginia to Indiana, I get messed up due to a change in foods. When I flew to Amsterdam, it messed me up as well. I hope this has helped

  16. The Turd Report 12/26/2001 on No More Sweaty Mouse Hands · · Score: -1

    They made an attempt to bring us a Christmas dinner here at work yesterday. I had ham and some yams. I had pumpkin pie dor dessert. It was ok, I guess. I have been a bit ill as of late and it has caused some problems with respect to my turds. I have had some very loose stool. This morning I had to rush to the bathroom; I felt like I was going to shit myself. The turd had no shape and was a dark brown color. There was a slight smell to it. Part of the turd stuck to the bowl after flushing. It took another flush to get it down. I rate this turd as a 3.

  17. Re:My thoughts on Anime lusers^Wfans on My Neighbor Totoro and Ebert · · Score: -1

    Shut up, fan-boy.

  18. Re:Of course I'm at work... on Who Works During the Holidays? · · Score: -1

    No fucking shit. I would much rather be wanking to tentacle rape.

  19. Re:I am. on Who Works During the Holidays? · · Score: -1

    Exim uber alles!

  20. Re:Santa on Vendetta: A Christmas Story Part 2 · · Score: -1

    He is awfully randy since he comes but once a year

  21. Re:My thoughts on Anime lusers^Wfans on My Neighbor Totoro and Ebert · · Score: -1

    It is not so much that Anime sucks, 5 or so of the 100 I've seen didn't suck and I actually own copies of them. What does suck are the legions of anime freaks that shit themselves when ever some anime news comes down the pipe.

  22. Re:s/educating/brainwashing/ on Educating Youngsters About Piracy · · Score: -1

    No. They aren't a thieving frog like yourself. Go surrender to a German or something.

  23. Re:Merry Xmas and a Happy Troll Tuesday! on Educating Youngsters About Piracy · · Score: -1

    God bless us, each and every one. Well, except for Michael, he is a Nazi, and Jamie, he is a censoring fag. But, God bless everyone else.

  24. But, I thought piracy was kewl? on Educating Youngsters About Piracy · · Score: -1

    pirates are 'leet!

  25. Re:Three-peat thwarted :( on BBC Rerunning Radio Lord of the Rings · · Score: -1
    Some dude who whacks off to the sound of Ian Holm's voice usurped your three-peat...weak
    Very weak.

    "dsb3" has been added to my "is gay" list right below Allan "Rocky" Lane (which pushes Topo Gigio to number 746). I'm taking all the limp-wrists out quick-like as soon as the U.S. goes into a state of Martial Law.
    gay doesn't do justice to how gay this guy is. He is 'Call-the-fire-department-this-guy-is-on-fire'-gay .